To the Moon and Back (19 page)

Opening the door at eight o'clock in the morning, Roo wasn't that surprised to find Niall on her doorstep. Ellie had told her all about the recent encounter with him and Yasmin outside Claridge's.

But to show willing, she said, ‘What are you doing here?'

‘You've blocked my number. I need to talk to you, find out what's going on.' He wasted no time. ‘You went to see Yasmin.'

‘And?'

‘I want to know why.'

‘Just curious, I suppose. I was interested to find out what she was really like. And guess what? She was lovely. Better than you deserve, that's for sure.'

‘Well, don't do it again, OK? Leave her alone.'

‘Don't tell me what I can't do,' said Roo.

Niall exhaled. ‘OK, please don't go there again. If you tell her, you'd break her heart.'

Fancy that. She'd be the one who broke his wife's heart. Aloud she said, ‘You think?'

‘Roo.
Please
.'

***

Working in a charity shop might not be glamorous but it was undoubtedly a good thing. People gave away stuff they no longer wanted, and it was bought by people who did want it, and the money raised went to a worthy cause.

It was just a shame that sometimes people gave away stuff they no longer wanted without first making sure it was clean. This was Roo's first morning in the shop and she was discovering that rubber gloves were a necessity. Already, unpacking the mound of plastic bags left outside overnight, she had lifted out a pair of jeans with boxer shorts still inside them. Neither of them had been washed. For a good long while. If ever.

But it didn't matter, because she was atoning. Making up for a lifetime of hedonism and selfishness. She wasn't going to throw a diva tantrum and demand to be given something easier and less gross to do.

Besides, it had all been worth it to see the look on Niall's face this morning when she sent him packing with the words, ‘Anyway, I have to go now, I mustn't be late for work.'

Stunned, he'd said, ‘What d'you mean,
work
?'

And she'd got a real kick out of replying, ‘Oh, didn't Ellie mention it? I've got a new job.'

The other upside to having turned over a new leaf was discovering how buzzy and clear-headed it was possible to feel when you gave up drinking. She hadn't realized before what a difference it made when you didn't even have a hint of a hangover fuzzing up your brain.

‘'Scuse me, love, this one's too small for me, d'you have it in an eighteen?'

The customer was in her forties and had one of those tartan shopping trolleys on wheels. She was holding up a pink cardigan and looking hopeful. The old Roo would have said, ‘Hello? We're in a charity shop, darling. This isn't Harvey Nicks.' Or she might have said, ‘If you lost a couple of stone, it'd fit you.'

But she wasn't Old Roo anymore, she was New Roo.
Sans
makeup,
sans
snarky attitude. She made a conscious effort to envisage this customer's life: poverty-stricken, unlucky in love, lots of daytime TV…
oh God, apart from the poverty bit, that's me!…
and said, ‘I'm so sorry, we don't. But a lovely pale green one just came in this morning, I'm sure it's an eighteen and the color would really suit you. Shall I pop out to the back room and find it?'

Pat, who was the manageress, told her it was to be priced at six pounds fifty. Roo brought the cardigan out and it fitted the woman perfectly. She'd been right about the shade too; it really brought out the color of her eyes.

‘Oh dear, six pounds fifty, though.' The woman hesitated, visibly torn. ‘That's more than I can afford.'

God, imagine not being able to afford six pounds fifty. Roo leaned forward and whispered, ‘It's all right, you can have it for one pound fifty.' What the hell, she'd make up the difference herself.

‘OK.' The woman beamed, as well she might. It was a lamb's wool cardigan from Jaeger, in pristine condition. ‘I'll take it!'

Three minutes later, glancing up as the woman was about to leave the shop, Roo saw her deftly removing a pair of Russell and Bromley stilettos from a display stand and sliding them into her tartan shopper. She blinked in disbelief as an armful of scarves and handbags followed them.

‘Hey!' yelled Roo, outraged.

The woman looked up, gave her a one-fingered salute, and shot out of the shop faster than Usain Bolt, the tartan trolley bouncing at her heels. Roo, cursing this morning's unwise choice of four-inch zebra-print stilettos with multiple ankle straps, yelped, ‘Stop her! She
stole
stuff !'

But this clearly wasn't going to happen. She was the only person in the shop under eighty. By the time she managed to unbuckle the fiddly straps and get her shoes off, the thief and her tartan trolley would be in Camden.

Pat, emerging from the back room, shot her a disapproving look. ‘Didn't you chase after her?'

In reply, Roo pointed to her bondage heels.

A disparaging sniff, then Pat said, ‘In future, wear something you can run in. And what was that I overheard about you letting her have the cardigan for one pound fifty?'

Honestly, were there secret listening devices hidden under the counter? Roo was forced to bite her lip, hard. ‘It's OK, I hadn't forgotten. I owe the till five pounds.'

After six hours of breathing in the stale air of the charity shop—clearly not choosing to volunteer in one of the many clean ones had been a mistake—entering the beauty salon was sheer heaven. The luxury, the gorgeous expensive smells, the relaxing atmosphere, the absence of ungrateful shoplifters…

‘Oh, look at your poor nails!' Having examined them, Yasmin said sympathetically, ‘And this one's broken right down. That must hurt. How did it happen?'

Roo shrugged. ‘Humping heavy boxes around. Picking duct tape off a hundred-piece chandelier. Carrying an electric cooker up two flights of stairs.'

‘That'll do it.' Yasmin was already preparing to get busy with her manicurist's equipment. She kept her attention focused on the badly torn nail. ‘So what's all this in aid of? Are you moving house?'

‘No. I've just started as a volunteer in a charity shop. If I smell funny, that's why.'

‘Oh, you don't smell! And what an amazing thing to do, giving up your time and working for nothing… that's so generous. You must be a really nice person.'

On the one hand, this was just what Roo wanted to hear. On the other hand, if only Yasmin knew.

But she wasn't going to tell her. Niall could relax; that wasn't why she'd come back here. She wanted to make amends to Yasmin without her finding out the truth.

‘Thousands of people do voluntary work.' She showed Yasmin her zebra heels. ‘I wore the wrong shoes. Got told off.'

‘But they're beautiful.'

‘We had a shoplifter.'

‘A shoplifter?' Yasmin pulled a face. ‘That's just
low
.'

Speaking of low… ‘Anyway, how's your family?'

‘They're good, thanks. Did your friend tell you we bumped into her the other night?'

‘Oh yes, she did mention it.'

‘How did the baby-sitting go?'

‘With Alice?' Roo wasn't stupid; she'd made a point of learning the name. ‘No problem. It was great!'

‘Any more teeth yet?'

‘Sorry?'

‘Teeth? The baby?'

‘Oh… well, maybe a few more.' OK, now she was out of her comfort zone. ‘I didn't count them. Babies aren't really my thing.'

Yasmin smiled. ‘Alice hasn't made you broody then. Not planning on having one yourself.'

‘Ew, no chance.'

‘You say that now.' Niall's wife's eyes sparkled. ‘But you'll end up changing your mind. Give it a few years and it'll happen. Are you with anyone at the moment?'

Roo watched her cuticles being skillfully pushed back with an orange stick, felt the warmth of Yasmin's fingers cupping her hand. ‘No, no one. I'm all on my own.'

‘Well, that must be your choice. You're so pretty you could have any man you want.'

Don't think about Todd. Definitely don't think about Niall.

‘It doesn't work like that, though, does it? It's not that simple. To be honest,' Roo blurted out, ‘I've never had much luck with men.'

‘Oh, don't worry, you'll get there in the end. You'll find the right man, settle down together, have a baby… sorry, are you OK? Have I said the wrong thing? Here, have a tissue, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you…'

‘No, really, I'm fine.' It was the guilt and the shame that had done it; Roo hastily used her free hand to wipe away the tears that had sprung up out of nowhere. ‘It just sounds so lovely. Is that what happened to you?'

‘What, with my husband?' Yasmin paused for a moment. Then she said ruefully, ‘Well, I hadn't actually planned on getting pregnant, but these things happen, so you just make the best of it, don't you? And now Ben's here, I wouldn't be without him for the world.'

When her nails were finished, skillfully repaired and buffed, and made shorter than before in deference to her new job, Roo paid the bill and added a twenty pound tip.

‘Wow.' Yasmin's eyes widened. ‘Are you sure?'

‘Of course I'm sure. You fitted me in at short notice. And you've done a great job,' said Roo. ‘You deserve it.'

‘Well, thanks.' Yasmin grinned. ‘You can come back again.'

And the weird thing was, she almost couldn't wait. Roo picked up one of the salon's glossy pink and cream brochures detailing the treatments on offer and wondered which of them to have next. ‘I will.'

***

The phone rang that evening just as Ellie was getting ready for bed.

‘Oh, hi! Is that Ellie? Ellie, hi there, honey is Tony with you?' Tamara, Tony's personal assistant in LA, had one of those singsong super-sweet voices that made you feel as if you were swimming through treacle.

‘No. He's not here.' Ellie frowned; what an odd question. ‘He isn't in Britain. He's in LA.'

‘No, honey, he's not here. He's definitely over there with you.'

‘He isn't, though. And he would have told me if he was coming over.'

‘Well, he asked me to organize it. I booked the plane tickets myself and drove him to the airport. OK, don't worry, I just need to ask him about fitting in an interview but his cell's switched off. No problem, I'll keep trying. Bye, honey, bye!'

OK, this was officially strange. Ellie tried Tony's number. Tamara was right; it was switched off. She left a message asking him to call her and said, ‘If you're here, why didn't you tell me?'

Most odd. But he must be all right, surely. There had to be a simple explanation.

Ellie yawned, brushed her teeth, and went to bed.

He got back to Ellie while she was at work the next day.

‘Tony! Are you all right?' She'd actually started to worry when his phone had still been switched off this morning.

‘I'm fine, sweetheart.'

‘Where are you?'

‘At home in LA.'

God, who'd ever trust an actor? He was such a plausible liar. ‘No you're not,' said Ellie. ‘I spoke to Tamara. You're over here.'

‘Oh. Damn. OK, you're right. I knew I should have returned Tamara's calls first.'

‘Your phone's been switched off !'

‘Battery was flat. I forgot to pack my charger, that's all.'

‘Why didn't you come to the flat?'
Where you have a perfectly good spare charger
.

Tony paused then said, ‘I thought you and Todd would appreciate having it to yourselves. I was being discreet, giving you a bit of space.'

‘Are you serious?'

‘Really, it's not a problem. I took a room at the Berkeley. You and Todd don't want me hanging around and—'

‘Oh, Tony, that's over, it didn't work out. It just wasn't right.' Ellie lowered her voice; Zack was only in the kitchen and she didn't want him to overhear. ‘We tried, but we're happier as friends.'

‘Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry.'

‘Don't be. We're both fine about it. So you can check out of that hotel right now and get yourself over here. You won't be a third wheel, it'll just be us.'

‘Except I'm heading back tomorrow. It was just a flying visit. It's hardly worth it now.'

He sounded… sad. ‘Are you busy tonight?'

‘No, no, nothing planned…'

Something definitely wasn't right. ‘Come over, then. I haven't seen you for ages. I'll cook dinner,' Ellie volunteered. ‘I've learned how to do Thai green curry.'

‘Really?' It was his favorite.

‘Really!'

‘Is it nice?'

Honesty forced her to prevaricate. ‘It
might
be nice.'

‘Or it might not?'

‘I'm still practicing. Come over and let me give it another go. If it all goes horribly wrong, we'll order a takeaway.'

Sounding slightly more cheerful, Tony said, ‘Or shall I just order it now?'

Zack came into the office a couple of minutes later, dressed in a suit and jangling his keys.

‘All OK? I've got a lunch meeting in Piccadilly. Can you take Elmo out for a run at some stage? I'll be back by four at the latest.'

‘No problem, that's fine.' He was wearing a new turquoise shirt and it was on the tip of her tongue to say how much the color suited him, but Ellie felt the speeding-up sensation in her chest that meant she was finding him attractive again. Dammit, and she'd worked so hard to squash those feelings, had thought she'd succeeded in getting them under control. OK, just don't mention it,
keep it zipped
.

But she must have looked as if she were about to say something because Zack had stopped in the doorway and was looking expectant. ‘Anything else?'

Yes, that color's fantastic against your tan, you look unbelievably gorgeous, you're making me think things I shouldn't be thinking…

‘No,' Ellie flashed him her busy smile, ‘nothing else. Have a nice time!'

At two thirty she gave Geraldine a call. ‘Hi, it's me. Do you want to send Elmo over?'

‘Oh hello, darling, absolutely! Sweetie, up you get, it's for you.'

Ellie heard snuffling and said, ‘Elmo! Coming for a walk?'

‘There you go,' Geraldine said with satisfaction. ‘He's on his way.'

Moments later Ellie looked out of the kitchen window and saw Elmo launch himself over the wall. He burst through the dog flap, tail wagging furiously and paws skidding across the tiled floor.

‘Come here, baby.' She bent to clip his lead on, but the doorbell simultaneously rang and Elmo gave her the slip. Finally she managed to scoop him up and answer the front door.

‘Oh.' Louisa, on the top step, recoiled from the sight of Elmo at unexpectedly close quarters. ‘I've come to see Zack. Is he upstairs?'

‘He's not here.'

‘You're just saying that.'

‘I'm not.' What was this about?

‘His car's over there.' Louisa pointed across the road.

‘He took a cab into town. He really isn't here. Was he expecting you?'

‘No. I just need to talk to him.' Louisa's hair and makeup were perfect; she was wearing an apricot linen dress and ultra-high, ultra-pointy cream shoes.

‘Well, he's in a lunch meeting now. Why don't you try phoning him later?'

‘I've
tried
phoning him. It's not the same, and most of the time he doesn't even pick up.' Louisa's voice began to wobble. ‘Look, can I come in?'

Elmo was wriggling like an eel, keen to get on with the business in hand. Ellie hesitated. ‘The thing is, we were just about to go out for a walk.'

‘Fine then. I'll come with you.'

‘But—'

‘Please let me. I need to talk about Zack. There, there, good doggie.' Gingerly Louisa patted the top of Elmo's head, which had to be a first. Even Elmo looked astonished. ‘He's quite sweet really, isn't he?'

‘Who, Zack?'

‘No, the dog.' She watched as Ellie attached the lead to Elmo's collar and put him down. ‘The last few weeks have been horrible. I've missed him so much.'

‘Who, Elmo?'

‘
Zack
.' Once the front door was closed, Louisa followed them down the stone steps. ‘So how's he been?'

‘OK. The same, really.' Oh dear, was that insensitive? ‘I'm sure he's missed you too,' Ellie said hastily. ‘You know what men are like. They hide it well.'

But it was too late; Louisa's face had crumpled. ‘It's so unfair. I've never been so miserable in my life. Does he talk about me?'

‘Um… not really.'

‘He must do. He must have said something! We were
perfect
together.'

They made a strange little procession, heading past the shops along Regents Park Road. Elmo led the way, straining against his lead and desperate to reach grass. Ellie was second, walking fast in her sparkly flip-flops. Bringing up the rear, hobbling slightly and struggling to keep up in her too-high heels, was Louisa.

‘He hasn't said anything to me,' Ellie called over her shoulder. She waved to Briony, who worked in the cake shop.

‘Is he seeing someone else?' said Louisa.

‘No.'

‘How can you say that? How do you know?'

‘OK, he hasn't told me he's seeing anyone else. And last week I had to go along as his plus-one to an event, because—'

‘Oh God, the dinner at Claridge's? He invited
you
? That's so unfair!'

Ellie increased her pace; this was getting awkward now. Louisa's voice had risen and people were turning to stare at them. At last they reached Primrose Hill itself and she was able to let Elmo off his lead. Finding a stick, she threw it as far as she could and watched him tear after it.

‘I bet you're glad we broke up, aren't you?' Louisa's hands were on her hips as she struggled to get her breath back. ‘You've got Zack all to yourself now.'

Don't blush, don't blush.
‘I work for him. That's all.'

‘Urrgh!' Louisa let out a panicky screech and kangarooed sideways as Elmo came hurtling back with the stick in his mouth. Her heels sank into the ground and she struggled to regain her balance. Accusingly she said, ‘But you must fancy him.'

‘OK, enough. I do not fancy Zack.' Ellie prayed her nose wouldn't suddenly extend by a couple of feet. ‘I have a boyfriend. His name is Todd.' Todd wouldn't mind her borrowing him again; it was all in a good cause. ‘And I don't need to listen to this rubbish, so you can stop following me now. Bye.'

Louisa promptly buried her face in her hands and shook her head in defeat. ‘Oh God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I just d-don't know what to
do…
'

People were definitely paying attention now. A small girl tugged at her mother's arm and said in a loud voice, ‘Mummy, is that big lady crying?'

This only made Louisa cry more. She clenched her fists and wailed, ‘I'm not
big
.'

‘Come on.' Ellie ushered her over to a free bench. ‘Sit down. Here, I've got a tissue somewhere.'

All the makeup, so carefully applied in Zack's honor, came off on the tissue. For several minutes Louisa sobbed noisily. Ellie sat next to her, let her get it out of her system, and threw the stick twenty or thirty times for Elmo to chase after and joyfully retrieve. Like a girl with hopeless taste in men, getting her heart broken over and over again, it evidently never occurred to Elmo to stop and wonder if maybe it was all a bit pointless.

‘Have you got any more tissues?' Louisa mumbled finally.

‘No.'

‘Do I look a mess?'

Mess
was an understatement. How to be diplomatic? ‘A bit.'

‘Oh Goddddd…' Louisa rose to her feet. ‘I need to clean myself up. Can we head back to the house now, so I can use the bathroom?'

Ellie hesitated but didn't have the heart to refuse. Oh well, she could make it up to Elmo with a top-up walk later. Whistling and calling him back, she re-attached his lead and said, ‘OK, let's go.'

Elmo registered his protest by waiting until they'd reached Ancram Street before squatting and depositing a pile of poo on the pavement.

‘How can you do that?' Louisa shuddered as Ellie bent and did the inverted nappy-bag trick to pick it up. ‘That's
so gross
.'

Did she think poo-collecting was her favorite hobby? Ellie said evenly, ‘I don't love it. It's just something that has to be done.'

‘What time did Zack say he'd be back?'

‘He didn't.' Oops, another lie. ‘He could be gone for hours yet.'

‘Or he might not. I could stay and wait.'

‘I don't think so, I have to work,' said Ellie.

‘I wouldn't be a nuisance. I'll just wait for him upstairs.'

‘Really, it's not a good idea.'

‘Oh, for God's sake, you're not very sympathetic, are you?' Louisa's emotions rose and her face reddened. ‘You just don't get how important this is! I love Zack and I want him back. He means everything in the world to me. My heart is breaking, I'm going through hell here… you can't
begin
to understand how I feel!'

Just for a microsecond Jamie appeared without warning, leaning against a parked car with his arms casually crossed and his blond hair glinting in the sunshine. He surveyed Louisa with amusement. Then, as if sensing that Ellie was teetering on the edge of retaliation, he turned and shook his head at her. ‘Don't do it.'

He was right. It would be the cheapest form of one-upmanship. Ellie exhaled. Then a taxi drew to a halt and Jamie, in his pink T-shirt and jeans, simply vanished. Elmo let out a volley of barks as Zack jumped out of the cab.