To Seduce an Earl (24 page)

Sweat dotted the area between her shoulder blades and a wave of nausea nearly brought her to her knees. “Please… can we go?”
 

“Of course.” He rested his hand on her lower back, his fingers strong, comforting and warm.

Grace was determined to feel the way she’d felt about Rodrick before. She could forget Alex, the man who’d given her a first real kiss. The man who had touched her in ways she’d never been touched before. She would merely continue with her life as planned…marry Rodrick and be the best wife he could want.

She
would
forget Alex.

They started up wide, shallow steps, her pulse pounding so furiously fast, she felt dizzy.

She
would
forget Alex.

“Pardon,” Rodrick repeated over and over until a path cleared and the doors were visible ahead.

She
must
forget Alex.

A few moments. Only a few more moments and she could escape into the cool, evening air. Escape the pressure of prying eyes. Grace was completely aware of the crush of the crowd as they moved closer, attempting to overhear the murmured words of comfort Rodrick was whispering into her ear.

The gossip would be severe and her reputation would be shattered unless Rodrick offered for her. Still, they all shifted out of the way, making room for Rodrick and giving him the respect he deserved. When they married,
if
they married, Grace would be given their respect as well and tonight would be a distant memory. Only a few more steps up the stairs…

A couple shifted and a tall man came into view, his elegance and demeanor begging for attention.

Alex.
His name whispered through her mind as if called down from Heaven.

Grace’s eyes locked with his. She was sure, if only she could look down, that she would see her heart flip-flopping across the marble floor. And Alex merely stood there in the corner, half-hidden where no one would notice him. His face was pale, his eyes wide, almost … frantic. An animal on the brink of wildness. She hadn’t expected him to look so haunted. Grace took a half-step toward him before she realized what she was doing.

“Are you well?” Rodrick asked.

Still she was unable to look away even though people were starting to notice. She waited… waited for even the slightest hint of an apology. Lady Lavender swept up behind him, the rich material of her lavender silk gown glimmering under the lamplight. Alex hadn’t come to apologize to her. He was merely going about his business. Lady Lavender leaned forward, pressing her ample bosom to Alex’s back. Her lips were near his ear as she whispered something. Alex averted his gaze, breaking contact with Grace. She almost closed her eyes then and there, almost crumpled to the floor, the pain in her chest so severe.
 

In that moment she felt as if they were an ocean apart.

“Yes, I’m well. Please,” her voice came out as a bare whisper, “take me home.” She followed Rodrick through the wide, open doors, forcing her feet to move… one in front of the other. The cool night air eased her fevered skin but did little to calm her racing heart.

Rodrick cupped her elbow, leading her down the steps, toward the waiting carriage. The further away she walked, the more her heart pulled, aching to return as if connected to Alex.
 
  

“Grace,”
she thought she heard her name whispered, or perhaps it was merely the wind.

Frantic, she glanced over her shoulder. No one was there. The shrubs lining the stairs were dark. The path empty. The pain in her chest almost unbearable.

“Are you ready?” Rodrick asked, his voice filled with concern.

She reached out, blindly grasping his gloved hand, taking comfort in his strength. “Yes, please,” she whispered.

“Of course.” His dark brows were drawn together over worried amber eyes. “Come along. The carriage is here.”

Boldly, he wrapped his arm around her waist and helped her into his splendid vehicle. Grace settled stiffly onto the soft, leather seat, hiding in the shadows where the lanterns did not reach.
 
Leaving John behind, the carriage took off, wheels rattling over cobbled stone and drowning out the sounds of merriment. Only once they turned the corner, could she finally breathe with some normalcy.

Grace tore off her mask and closed her eyes, sinking into the soft leather seat. Rodrick’s spicy scent permeated the air, a comfortable scent, a scent she knew well for the spice was worn by many of the male
ton
.

She belonged here with Rodrick in his splendid carriage. With Rodrick she would have a stable, well-bred man who wouldn’t ruin her reputation. A man who could support Mama and Patience.
 

“Tell me what happened.” Rodrick leaned forward and rested his hand on her knee. She should have been shocked by his bold touch, but little surprised her any longer. Besides, his handsome features showed only compassion. “Please, Grace, tell me now so I can call the man out.”

She certainly couldn’t tell Rodrick about Alex. The thought of him uncovering their relationship, whatever the relationship happened to be, was unthinkable. And so she lied. “No, please, it was nothing.”

He tore the mask from his face. “Was it him?” His gaze grew hard, that square jaw set in determination. “The man who brought you home the night of the gaming hell?”

She swallowed hard and forced herself to smile. “It was nothing, I promise you. A simple misunderstanding.” She’d misunderstood alright, she’d thought Alex actually cared for her.

Rodrick moved across the carriage, sitting intimately next to her. “Grace.” He took her hand, his grip warm even through the layers of their gloves.

He was close, and he was so kind that she should have reveled in his attention. Yet, Grace felt the overwhelming need to pull back. No, she couldn’t cringe from his touch. She wouldn’t pull away from the warmth of his body. She’d wanted this. She’d prayed for this.
  

“Kiss me,” she whispered desperately.

He blinked, obviously taken aback. Obviously horrified.

Heat shot to her cheeks. Lord, what had she said? She looked away, tears of sorrow turning into tears of humiliation. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

His fingers lightly touched her chin, turning her head toward him. A soft caress, a whispered promise. She knew what would happen and was determined to force Alex from her mind. Brazenly, she met Rodrick’s gaze. The lust in his eyes sent nerves fluttering to her belly. Still, when he lowered his head, she didn’t protest, merely closed her eyes and waited.

His lips brushed hers, softly at first. Not a kiss of passion. Disappointed and frantic for something more, she wrapped her arms around his neck, urging him to try once more. He needed no further encouragement. Rodrick moaned and deepened the kiss.

For years she’d dreamt of this moment, for years she’d wanted Rodrick to see her as anything other than a friend. Now that it was happening, Grace felt completely and utterly… underwhelmed.

His lips were soft, kind, pleasant. When she felt his wet tongue press to her mouth, she parted for him, allowing him access, hoping the intimate touch would stir longing deep within her soul. His hands cupped the back of her head as his tongue stroked the inside of her mouth. And it was…nice. Wet. Odd. She’d felt more when Gideon had kissed her.

There was no spark. There was no intense heat. There was no ache low in her gut. Only his lips on hers. It felt…
wrong
. So very
wrong
.

Bile churned in her belly. Fearing she’d get ill, Grace pressed her hands into Rodrick’s chest and pushed back. He was breathing harshly, his gaze hooded and dark with lust. She was old enough to know the look well. He wanted her, but would he still respect her?

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, wondering if she’d ruined her chances.

“No.” He rested his hand on her thigh; she resisted the urge to flinch at his bold contact. “Don’t be. I enjoyed that very much.”

She forced her lips to turn upward. It was all she could manage. What would she say to the man? The kiss had been …
nice
? And it had been, well…nice. But certainly there hadn’t been fire. Certainly it hadn’t been like kissing… Alex.

No! Damn him! She wouldn’t think about Alex. Finally things were moving forward with Rodrick. She would not destroy her chances at a decent match.

Rodrick leaned back, his face hidden in the shadows. “There could be…more, if you like.”

Startled, she almost wished she could pretend not to have heard him. “What do you mean?”

“More kissing. More…” He let the word drift away, a promise of what would come if she married him. “I like you, Grace. I like you very, very much.”

He hadn’t said he loved her. He hadn’t said he wanted to marry her, but he might as well have said the words. She couldn’t breathe. Grace pressed her gloved hand to her racing heart. It was the very moment she had been waiting for and all she could think about was Alex and his blue eyes.

“Do you care for me, Grace?”

“Of course,” she blurted out a little too quickly.

He glanced away, then up through those thick lashes. “Are you attracted to me?”

It was a bold question. Something he would have never asked a debutante, but she was no naïve innocent. She was practically on the shelf and this was her opportunity, her dream come true, to finally have the honorable, safe family she’d always wanted.

His finger skimmed softly down the line of her jaw, startling her although it was a gentle touch. “Grace?”

“Yes, I’m attracted to you,” she blurted out.

It wasn’t a complete lie. She had been attracted to him only weeks ago. She was still attracted to him. She merely couldn’t feel the longing over the confusing emotions Alex had stirred within. A few days from now, with Alex a distant memory, she would once again be interested in Rodrick.

He smiled, a truly delighted smile. And she tried to feel that same happiness that sparkled within his eyes. She tried to grasp at the realization that Rodrick finally wanted her! Yet, there was something missing… something cold and bitter that encased her heart and prevented any joy from seeping inside.

Oh, why wouldn’t Alex go away?

“Wonderful.” Rodrick cupped the back of her head and brought her forward. Before she could even guess his intentions, his lips found hers. A quick and possessive kiss that left her baffled. The kind of kiss that said she belonged to him already.

Belonged.
The thought panicked her for some reason.
 

Trembling, Grace pulled back, ignoring the gleam of success that lit Rodrick’s eyes.

Why did she feel as if she’d just sold her soul to the devil?

Chapter 13

She’d left with Rodrick.

How Alex hated the man.

How he wanted to hunt him down and slam his fist into his aristocratic face.

Alex paced his large hotel room…back and forth…back and forth, like an animal caged.

The idea of Grace and Rodrick together had kept him awake all night until he thought he’d go mad. Deep down, the idea of any other man touching her sickened him.

Rodrick had taken her home, but had he left her there alone, or had the man dared to stay overnight? Alex brushed aside the thick velvet curtains and glanced out the windows onto London.

The soft morning breeze whispered through the open window, the scent of lavender seeping inside. A vendor selling the blooms below. Dear God, even in the city he couldn’t escape the scent. Alex pushed away from the windows and moved to the cold, empty hearth, sinking into a chair. Grace had probably arrived with the dandy as well. But for some reason, the fact that she’d left with Rodrick, made Alex see red.

He wasn’t tired, even though they’d returned to the hotel a good four hours ago and the sun had peeked above the horizon. And even though his body ached with the need for rest, he couldn’t even close his eyes without seeing Rodrick and Grace together.
 
He knew it wasn’t rational. He knew she didn’t belong to him, nor never could, but it didn’t matter. What little soul he had left cried out for her.

A soft knock rang through the room. Alex didn’t respond. Didn’t bother to turn in his chair to glance at the door. It opened anyway, as he knew it would. They had no privacy.

“Alex,” James’ footsteps were quick and sure as he moved across the carpet. “Good, you’re up early. We need to talk.”
 

Still Alex didn’t stir.

James paused by his chair and sighed. For one moment neither spoke, the tick of the clock on the mantel the only sound.
 

“If you want out, then asked to be released,” James finally said. “Ophelia will allow you to leave. She’s not the monster you think.”

He laughed, finding amusement for the first time in days.

His wry laugh didn’t stop James from continuing. “Just speak with her. Tell her you wish to be released from your contract.”