To Seduce a Bride (35 page)

Passion was all they would ever have. And passion, no matter how pleasurable, wasn't enough for happiness. Heath was right about that, too.

And what of her fear of being treated as chattel? Even as the thought crossed her mind, she dismissed it. As Heath's wife, she wouldn't be shackled to him. He wasn't likely to suddenly start controlling her and dictating to her and ordering her about. Not if he truly loved her. Rather, he would be her husband, her partner, her companion, her soul mate.

And if she truly loved him, if she truly trusted him, she would swallow her fears and take the risk of marrying him.

She
did
love him, she had no doubt whatsoever. Heath had made her dream dreams she hadn't even known she wanted. Made her yearn for a future with him. He had touched something deep inside her. Something warm and wonderful and enchanting.

You make me feel alive,
he had told her only yesterday.
You make me feel joyous and exhilarated, as if each day is a new adventure.

Which was exactly how she felt about him.

So, yes, Lily decided, a soothing feeling of calm settling over her. She was ready to take the risk and wed Heath. She was ready to trust in his love.

Turning her head, she glanced at the clock on the mantel, wondering where he could be found just now. She needed to tell him of her change of heart right away.

She might have to grovel a bit to make him forgive her, Lily suspected, remembering how cold and remote Heath had been when he had left her for the last time. But she would make him see that she regretted taking so long to come to her senses and to know her own heart—

“Lily?” Chantel's shaky voice broke into her thoughts.

Lily looked up to discover that Chantel had silently entered her bedchamber. Her face was pale, and she was clutching something to her chest.

The newspaper, Lily realized distractedly. “What is it?” she asked, suddenly concerned.

“You need to see this….”

Without another word, Chantel crossed to her and handed her the newspaper. It was this evening's edition of
The Star
and was opened to the society page.

“There,” Chantel said hoarsely, pointing to an announcement halfway down the page.

The Marquess of Claybourne,
Lily read,
has the great pleasure of announcing his betrothal to Lady Eleanor Pierce, sister of Lord Danvers and niece of Viscountess Beldon. The nuptials will take place next month at the family estate of—

The newspaper dropped from Lily's nerveless fingers while the blood drained from her face. She tried futilely to catch her breath as she told herself there must be some mistake. Surely Heath was not planning to marry Lady Eleanor, even though it said so here in stark black and white—

“I don't understand,” Chantel said plaintively. “I thought Lord Claybourne wanted to marry you, Lily.”

“So did I,” she rasped.

“He won your game. He has the right to court you now. So why is he engaged to wed someone else?”

She knew the answer. Because she had turned him down too many times. And she was now paying the price. Heath had decided he no longer wanted to marry her.

A surge of panic slid up her spine. Heath had decided to marry Marcus's beautiful, vivacious sister instead.

He must have asked Lady Eleanor very recently, perhaps this morning or even yesterday. That was the only way he would have time to place the announcement in this evening's paper.

Lily brought a trembling hand to her mouth to silence the anguished cry she wanted to utter. She had no one to blame but herself, she knew. She had refused Heath's offer of marriage countless times, until he had finally come to accept that she meant what she said.

He had given up his pursuit of her entirely, just as he'd warned he would.

She squeezed her eyes shut as the reality of what she'd done sank in. She'd had the promise of a lifetime of happiness within her grasp, and she had thrown it all away.

How would she live without Heath? How could she bear it?

Fear tightened in her chest until her heart hurt.

“Do you know the most painful irony?” she whispered to herself. “When at last I understand my heart's desire, it is too late.”

She had been so determined never to trust him, never to open her heart to him, that she had lost him.
Dear heaven
…

A sense of desperation washing over her, Lily shook her head in denial. She couldn't lose him! She wouldn't let Heath go without a fight.

Lily rose abruptly to her feet, clutching the newspaper to her bosom.

“Where are you going?” Chantel exclaimed to her retreating back.

“To find Lord Claybourne,” Lily said fiercely. “He will not marry Lady Eleanor! He will only wed
me
!”

Chapter Twenty

He is my heart's desire. I know that now at long last.

—Lily to Fanny

Desperation beset Lily all the way to Heath's house in Bedford Square and only escalated when she arrived. A jaunty lady's phaeton stood out in front, the dashing pair of grays held by a liveried groom.

Wondering if the phaeton belonged to Heath's new betrothed, Lady Eleanor, Lily descended from the hack and forced herself to approach the front door, where she applied the knocker.

At least the Claybourne butler recognized her and admitted her without question. Yet the hollow ache in her stomach intensified when she was shown into a different room than before—a large masculine chamber that was obviously the master's study.

Lady Eleanor was there, lounging on a plush leather sofa while reading, her legs curled comfortably beneath her as if she belonged there as mistress of the house.

Utterly dismayed, Lily halted on the threshold, wondering if she should turn and flee before she was noticed. But then the butler announced her, and she had no choice but to step into the room.

Heath was seated at a massive desk, writing with a quill pen. Upon Lily's entrance, he raised his head and studied her for a long moment. She couldn't read his expression at all; his face was completely enigmatic, just as it had been yesterday.

Lily's heart sank even lower, if that were possible.

She barely heard Lady Eleanor say in a pleasant tone, “Miss Loring, how good it is to see you again.”

Striving futilely for composure, Lily murmured a polite reply as she curtsied. But she immediately turned her attention back to Heath. “Might I have a word with you in private, my lord?”

Still watching her, he shrugged his powerful shoulders. “Why in private? I doubt you have anything to say to me that Eleanor cannot hear.”

Lily regarded him with mingled anguish and frustration. “I saw the announcement of your betrothal,” she finally said.

To her surprise and vexation, Lady Eleanor replied for him. “I gather you have some objection to our betrothal, Miss Loring?”

“Yes…I do.” As she faced the raven-haired beauty, Lily clenched her fists, girding her loins, so to speak. “You cannot have him, Lady Eleanor. He is already spoken for.”

Eleanor's eyebrows shot up. “You are laying claim to my dear Heath?”

“I am,”
Lily said fiercely.

The soft smile of satisfaction that touched Eleanor's lips was utterly puzzling. “I told you so,” she said cryptically, glancing over at Heath. “You owe me that magnificent chestnut stallion of yours.”

He nodded briefly. “Whatever you wish, minx,” he replied, never taking his eyes off Lily. “Now, if you don't mind…”

Eleanor laughed at his thinly veiled prodding. “Very well, I know when I am unwanted. I will leave you two to sort out your affairs.”

Rising, Eleanor collected her book and pelisse and reticule without another word, but as she passed Lily, her smile was warm and kind, and she murmured, “Good luck,” as if she truly meant to wish Lily well.

Bewildered, Lily turned back to Heath. He had risen to his feet but remained behind his desk. She took a step closer, her heart thudding, her knees weak, her stomach tied in knots.

“What did she mean?” Lily asked unsteadily, “when she said ‘I told you so'?”

“It is no matter. Why are you here, Lily?”

His tone was hardly encouraging. She hesitated a long moment before replying, “To put an end to your betrothal. You cannot marry Lady Eleanor.”

“Why not?”

“Because
I
want to be your wife.”

The interval before Heath spoke seemed interminable. “Indeed. What caused your change of heart? I seem to recall asking you to marry me numerous times, and you refused every time.”

“I know.” Lily tried to swallow, even though her throat was dry as dust. “But I realized…I love you, Heath.”

His expression never changed, except that his gaze seemed to sharpen. “I don't know that your love will be enough, Lily.”

“N-not enough?” she repeated, her voice quavering.

“I told you, I want your trust as well.”

“You have my trust, Heath.” Words crowded into her throat but weren't even close to being adequate. “I know I was wrong to fear you. You would never deliberately hurt me.”

His expression softened the slightest degree. “How gratifying that you finally comprehend that.”

Lily nodded in agreement. “I have been a fool, I know that now. You were right. What we have is unique and rare. Something so perfect comes along once in a lifetime. I cannot throw it all away because of fear.”

“It would indeed be foolish of you.”

“Yes. Yesterday…” She hesitated several more heartbeats before she found her voice again. “Yesterday you said you loved me. Do you love me enough to give me a second chance?”

Her heart leapt at the warmth that suddenly shone in his eyes, even though he didn't answer her directly. “I find your nervousness very endearing, sweetheart.”

Fear and hope tangled inside Lily. “I am not nervous. I am
terrified
that I am too late.”

“So this is a proposal of marriage?” he asked as he moved out from behind the desk and came to stand before her.

“Yes.”

Heath pursed his lips thoughtfully. “So say the words, Lily. I have done my fair share of proposing. I believe it is your turn.”

There was tenderness in his eyes, along with a faint hint of amusement. He was enjoying her repentance, Lily realized with a stab of exasperation. Yet he deserved to hear her abject apologies. “Do you want me to get down on bended knee as well?”

“No, a simple proposal will do.”

“Will you
please
marry me, Heath?”

“Tell me why I should.”

“Because I love you dearly, and I don't want to live without you.”

His gaze continued to measure her. “I thought you were adamant about maintaining your cherished independence.”

“I was—but independence is not worth having if I am miserable. And I am utterly miserable without you. My life would be painfully empty if I lost you.” Lily held his gaze determinedly. “I want you for my husband, Heath. I want to spend the rest of my days with you, as your wife.”

At last he gave a brief nod, as if satisfied. “Then I accept your offer.”

The relief that flooded through Lily made her knees nearly buckle, and so did Heath when he took a step closer and bent to kiss her.

His lips touched hers, unexpectedly gentle, unbelievably wonderful. He tasted familiar and precious and oh so dear—Yet he stepped back before Lily could even raise her hands to his shoulders.

Turning away, Heath went to his desk and picked up a document, which he held out to her. Curious, she crossed to him and took it before proceeding to read.

It was a special license to marry, with Heath's name designated as the applicant, and her name written in as the prospective bride.

Lily looked up at Heath in puzzlement. “I don't understand. I thought you were betrothed to Lady Eleanor.”

He shot her a look too bland to be innocent. “Because I wanted you to think that. But the announcement you saw wasn't genuine.”

“Not genuine?”

“Not at all. And you received the only copy. The publisher of
The Star
is a friend, and I prevailed upon him to print a single copy with that announcement proclaiming my engagement to Eleanor. I know how much your courtesan friends enjoy reading the society gossip in the papers, so I trusted they would find that item and inform you.”

Lily stared at Heath in disbelief for a long moment before flinging the license on his desk. Her hands went to her hips while her eyes narrowed in vexation. “You
tricked
me into thinking you intended to marry Lady Eleanor? Of all the despicable, underhanded, deceitful things to do!” she sputtered. “You frightened me half to death!”

With a smile lighting his eyes, Heath hardly looked contrite. “Turnabout is fair play, love. You frightened the devil out of me, vowing you would never marry me no matter what I did.”

“So you
pretended
to want someone else?”

“I hoped to force your hand. If anything could make you come to your senses and realize your feelings for me, I thought it would be jealousy. And Eleanor was kind enough to play along.”

Lily poked her forefinger into his chest, hard. “You are a dastardly villain, Heath Griffin!”

In self-defense, he caught her wrist and held her hand away. His gaze burned into hers, hot and amused and challenging. “You left me little choice, stubborn little hellion that you are. What else could I do? Professions of love send you into a panic, and coercion only makes you dig your heels in more fiercely. I couldn't force you to accept my hand, Lily. You had to choose freely.”

He brought her fingers to his lips, pressing a light kiss to her knuckles. “But I was never going to let you get away from me. I love you too much to ever accept ‘No' as your answer.”

Lily's ire faded at the fervency of his tone, at the possessiveness and tenderness and warmth she saw dancing in his eyes. Suddenly she felt as if she could breathe again. She had not lost Heath after all. He loved her and was willing to forgive her for her obstinacy.

“You are still a beast,” she muttered, even though a smile threatened to break out on her mouth.

He favored her with his own familiar enchanting smile. “Perhaps, but this should prove to you how much I love you. Would I have gone to so much trouble if I didn't?”

“I suppose not,” Lily admitted grudgingly. “So I shall contrive to forgive you.”

He reached up to touch her face, his thumb caressing her cheekbone as he stared into her eyes. “So you will marry me?”

Her heart moved into her throat at the love she saw shimmering there in the golden depths. “
Yes,
Heath. I will marry you, and gladly.”

“Thank God. I was running out of hope.” His arms coming around her, he drew her close and rested his cheek on her hair. “I could never live without you, Lily. I could never be happy alone, now that I know what happiness is.” He laughed softly. “I thought I was perfectly content until I met you. I never realized how much I was missing until then. I haven't been the same man since I kissed you in that stable loft.”

Lily felt the same way about Heath. He filled all the empty places in her heart and in her life.

She leaned into the warm, solid strength of him, cherishing the feeling of holding him, of knowing he belonged to her from now until forever. “I am profoundly grateful that you didn't give up on me.”

She heard the smile in his voice when he replied. “You should know by now that I can be as stubborn-minded as you. It just shows how well-matched we are.” He paused. “But you have changed me—for the better I think.”

“What do you mean?”

“Because of you, I was obliged to face some unpleasant truths about myself. More crucially, I realized that if I wanted to win your love, I needed to be worthy of you.”

Still not comprehending, Lily drew back to search his face.

Heath's expression was surprisingly intent as he continued. “You see, everything has always come easily to me. I never had to work for anything I wanted. And then I met you. You were the only thing I ever desired that I couldn't have just by snapping my fingers. You made me go to extraordinary lengths just to be near you.”

He gazed down at her solemnly. “And then I came to know you, Lily. I saw your dedication. I saw how fiercely passionate you were about helping your friends. It made me feel humble, angel. Until then, life was always something of a game to me. I never thought much about others, about the servants in my employ, about young girls who are forced into prostitution. But because of you, I realized that life is not just a game. And that with all my wealth and resources, I can do more to help the plight of the less fortunate.”

“You have already helped tremendously,” Lily replied earnestly. “You gave Betty and Peg entirely new lives.”

“It isn't enough. But I mean to do better in the future by putting my wealth to good use. I began by contributing to some of Tess Blanchard's charities. And I want to help you found a home for destitute women so they don't have to sell their bodies in order to survive.”

“Oh, Heath…” Lily felt her heart melt, even though she was a little stunned that she could have made such a difference to his perspective on life. “You did not have to go to such lengths for me.”

“Yes, I did. I want to be good husband to you, Lily. I want to share your passion.”

Her heart gave a great surge of gladness. “I have no doubt you will be the best husband any woman could ever hope for.” Lily gave him a teasing smile as she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. “I know very well that you are not the worthless libertine that many of your noble peers are.”