To Protect and Serve (27 page)

             
Kate added, “And if you can follow directions, there’s even a very nice Christmas gift for you.”

***************

              Nancy had just pulled the turkey from the oven for Christmas Eve dinner.  Both her girls would be there any minute, along with Jackson.  She knew that she should be grateful for her wonderful family and she was.  However, she’d lost her sense of enthusiasm and was sort of

moving along day to day.  She missed Doug horribly, but understood that it was better for him to be back with Sue and his son, Andy.  That’s what a family was supposed to be.  Together.

             
There was a knock at the front door.

             
“Just a minute!”  Nancy shouted to whoever was at the door.  She wiped her hands dry with the kitchen towel and opened the door.

             
Then she just stared.

             
Broad navy-blue shoulders filled her field of vision.

             
Mirrored sunglasses glinted in the sunlight.

             
The badge flashed as he reached up to pull off the sunglasses.

             
Familiar dark blue, almost black eyes met hers before cutting to Nancy’s right hand where the kitchen towel had once again slipped from her fingers and fallen to the ground.

             
Nancy pulled herself out of the spell she’d fallen under and reached down for the towel at the same time Doug reached for it.  They ended up

bumping shoulders.  Nancy started to fall sideways but was stopped when she felt strong his strong warm hands grab her shoulders and help her stand upright.

              They stood there like that, staring into each other’s eyes.  The hurt and the longing were almost unbearable.

             
Doug pulled his hands from Nancy’s shoulders.

             
“May I come in?  Please?”

             
Nancy stared at Doug.  Her heart was beating a hundred miles a minute.  Could he hear it? 

             
“Of course.  Come on in.”  She stood back while he filled the entry hall and once again took all the oxygen.

             
Nancy moved into the kitchen and tried to breathe.  “Would you like some coffee?”

             
“Coffee sounds great.”  Doug kept watching her, waiting for a sign of some sort.

             
Nancy poured two cups from the freshly brewed pot and placed one of them at the end of the kitchen table and one of them at the seat to the right.

             
Doug put his cap on the other end of the table and sat down.  Nancy sat down next to him.  They both sipped from their cups, looking over the rims at each other, drinking in each other’s face.

             
Doug cleared his throat and launched into the speech he’d rehearsed over and over as though his life depended on it.  In fact, it did.  “Nancy, you deserved better than this from me.”

             
She really didn’t want to hear what she was afraid he was going to say and interrupted him.  “It’s okay, Doug. I understand.  Families should be together.”  It sounded right.  Too bad the words made her heart hurt enough to crack in two.

             
“I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner.  Once the trial was over, it was so awkward for me and I wasn’t sure you’d want to hear from me again.”  Doug wished with all his heart that he could find the magic words that would bring Nancy back into his life.

             
There was a pause, as they both sipped on the coffee that neither of them was tasting.

             
“So, are you and Sue going to get married now?”  Nancy grimaced.  She’d sworn to herself that she wasn’t going to ask that question.

             
“What?”  Doug could see where Nancy’s thoughts had erroneously gone to.  “Of course not.  Sue and I are just friends.  Don’t misunderstand me.  It’s good to have her friendship back.  But it’s not like that.  We’ve come to an understanding as Andy’s parents and she

has forgiven me for not doing my job as a dad.”  Doug waited several seconds for a reply from Nancy.

             
When none came, he quietly asked “Can
you
ever forgive me?”

             
Nancy thought her throat would never open up enough for her to say the words.  “I thought you’d gone back to Sue.”  Then the tears started.  She hated when she cried like that.

             
The tears were Doug’s undoing.  “Aw, Nancy.  Don’t cry.  Please don’t cry.”  He reached for her but Nancy pushed him away.

             
She rushed to her feet as weeks of torment bubbled to the surface and burst out of her.  “You jerk!”  Nancy swiped at her tears and couldn’t have stopped what she was spouting, even if you’d offered her a million bucks.  “Do you have any idea how awful it’s been for me?  I finally open up to someone – YOU – and I get dumped!  It’s humiliating and degrading.  I’ve never felt this badly about myself EVER!  I was better off before you entered my life.  It HURTS loving you!”

             
Doug just sat there dumbfounded.  Out of all that verbiage, he was pinning his hope on that last sentence.  She loved him!  A slow grin spread across his face.

             
Nancy couldn’t believe what she was seeing.  Doug thought this was funny!  Oh, it made her FURIOUS!  “Get out!  Leave here now!”  She strode to the door and had it already open by the time Doug reached her.

             
He slowly put his hand on the door and shut it.  Then he moved closer to Nancy, inches from her.  She could feel the heat radiating from him.  He made her knees weak, but she was NOT going to give into her attraction to him.  Not now.  She needed to hang onto the last shred of self-preservation she had.

              Doug’s voice was low and gravely.  “Do you have any idea what I’VE been through?  Do you?”  He put his hand under her chin and raised her face, so she’d look at him.  “You’ve made me into a man I don’t recognize.  I’m no longer relaxed and carefree.  I spend inordinate amounts of my day thinking about you.  Missing you.  Wanting you.  I drive past your house and school dozens of times a week, wondering what you’re doing.  I’ve called myself all kinds of a fool.  But guess what?”

             
When Nancy didn’t say anything, he nudged her chin up a tiny bit more, so she’d have to look straight into his eyes.

             
He repeated his question.  “Guess what?”

             
Nancy was finally able to say something past the lump in her throat.  “What?”  As the word whispered out of her mouth it also unleashed more tears.  God, she hated it when she cried!

             
“I realized I would rather be a fool with you, than be my old self without you.  Nancy, I love you. I know you love me.  I want us to make this work.”

             
When she just stood there silently staring at him, he took a deep breath and gave it everything he had in him.

             
“I need you in my life.  When I’m with you, I feel like I can conquer the world.  Without you, I’m lost.  I …”

             
Nancy felt her soul come back to life.  Doug wanted her!  She put her fingertips on his lips.

             
“Just kiss me,” she whispered.

             
Doug smiled and slowly placed kisses across her brow, across her face and finally on her lips.  He whispered against her mouth, “Don’t cry.  I’m so sorry.  Please forgive me.  I can’t live without you.  I need you.” 

              Then he claimed her mouth fully.  His lips seeking forgiveness and redemption.

             
Nancy felt like a bright light had started to shine in her heart and was threatening to burst out of her chest.  He needed her as much as she needed him!

             
“Oh, Doug!  I thought you didn’t want me anymore.  I thought you were through with me.  My life felt over.”  She said, speaking against his mouth between kisses.

             
Doug pulled back and gently cupped Nancy’s precious face between his hands.

             
“Darling, I’ll love you and need you until the day I die.  Will you put up with me even when I’m old and grumpy?  Can you possibly love me even a fraction of how much I love you?”

             
Nancy’s eyes filled with happy tears this time as she smiled.  “I’ll love you forever, even when you’re old and grumpy.  I’ll love you until I die.”

             
Doug looked deep into Nancy’s eyes and recognized what he’d been looking for his whole life.  As his mouth slowly lowered to hers again, he vowed to protect and serve her for the rest of his life.

             
Sometime during the kiss, Doug became aware of the kitchen filling with people.  He and Nancy broke apart and smiled sheepishly at Kate, Christy and Jackson standing here, once again grinning like the village idiots.

             
“So, are you guys going to behave like grown-ups now, or what?”  Christy was unable to make her statement sound anything other than pleased.

             
While Nancy untangled herself from Doug’s embrace with as much dignity as she could muster, she started to lodge a protest with Christy’s mouthy comment, but stopped when she realized Christy was totally

right!  It was a little mortifying to realize that she HAD been acting like a moonstruck teenager, instead of a mature mother of two.

              “Alright, everyone.  Help me get dinner on the table.  Then we’ll talk.”

             
Cheerful chatter filled the kitchen while everyone followed Nancy’s orders, and soon the table was laden with turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, buttered baby peas, sweet potato casserole, warm Italian bread rolls with butter and honey, with a pumpkin pie resting on the counter for dessert.

             
They all stood around the table holding hands for grace and one for one looked towards Doug.

             
“Me?”  They all nodded ‘yes.’

             
Doug didn’t think he would be able to handle any more emotion.  He remembered a prayer his father used to say at special occasions just like this.

             
He bowed his head and the others followed his lead.  While Nancy, Kate, Christy and Jackson held hands around the table, Doug repeated the prayer.  When they were done he looked up to find Nancy’s eyes shining at him.  He felt as though he’d just been accepted into this wonderful family completely.

             
As they all cheerfully sat down ready to dig in, the kids started firing questions at Nancy and Doug.  At first they tried to answer but ended up just sitting there smiling at each other while the questions flew around the table.

             
Nancy found that she and Doug didn’t have to answer anything, since the kids were answering their own questions.

             
So they just enjoyed the wonderful dinner.

EPILOGUE

             
“Mom, you look beautiful.”  Kate and Christy were standing behind Nancy as she looked at herself in the full-length mirror in Bill and Patty’s guest room.

             
Nancy felt beautiful.  Her soft green and ecru tea length dress flattered her curves.  The sweetheart neckline was the perfect frame for the heart-shaped locket that was Doug’s wedding gift to her.  The girls, Jackson and Doug had found the time to get their picture taken together and the locket now held that same picture; close to her heart.  The small gold hoop earrings were the only other jewelry Nancy wore.

             
Kate and Christy both looked wonderful in similar cut dresses but different darker hues of green to match their own skin tones.

             
Their small bouquets sat on the dresser next to Nancy’s bouquet of white roses and orange blossoms.

             
“Does Pops have his boutonniere?”  Nancy asked again.

             
“Yes, Mom, he does.  Still.”  Christy shared a smile with Kate.

             
Just then there was a knock at the bedroom door, and Patty came in.  “Well, the guests are all seated and I think that man of yours is chomping at the bit to get started.”

             
Patty and Bill had been wonderful about letting Doug and Nancy use their garden for the wedding.  Patty had used the opportunity to have her whole backyard redone; including having a rock fountain installed by Johnny’s Landscaping, which looked like a waterfall, as well as building a gazebo that was big enough to hold a ten piece orchestra.