To Ocean's End (12 page)

Jessie clenched her jaw at the insinuation that she was weak. She steadied herself but didn’t try to push him away. “Of course I can.”

“Good, then let’s get back to breakfast.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Trust me, you are. Once you take a couple of bites, you’ll feel hungry again.” He undid the velcro strap to one of the sparring gloves and pulled it off. Jessie tried to remove the other but the tendons in her arms did
not
want to be used. Ugh, how was she going to feed herself? There was no way she was going to let anyone spoon or fork-feed her.

Mido kept an arm around her all the way back to the galley. They passed Scully and Sam, who watched them leave with perplexed gazes. Mido informed Scully of the mess that needed cleaning up. He just grunted and walked off. Mido told Jessie that Scully was the one the whole crew went to when there were dirty jobs that needed done. The captain paid him a little extra for it. Jessie stopped feeling so bad after that.

Jessie obediently took her seat at the table while Mido stuck their breakfast back in the oven. In the name of washing the vomit taste out of her mouth, she helped herself to her coffee with shaking, burning arms, and managed to not spill a drop, even when she more plopped than set the tin cup back down. Mido smirked but kept his teasing thoughts to himself.

“Have some fruit while we wait.”

“I told you I’m not hungry.”

“And I told you that you are.”

She glared at him but he wore a patient smile. Since she was tired and he looked like he had far more patience than her, she gave in and picked up her fork, then pulled her bowl to the raised lip of the table. She pecked a piece of banana and stuck it in her mouth and chewed. The banana tasted good so she ate the rest of the slices before moving onto the apple slices, then the pineapples, and then the strawberries and blueberries together. Okay, so she was hungry. Starving. She eagerly pushed aside her bowl when Mido set the heated plate of French toast before her. Using her wrist to swing her fork like a pendulum, she brought her face closer to her plate and began wolfing down her breakfast.

“Don’t eat too fast, miss I’m-not-hungry,” Mido said as he took his seat.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” That was as close as she would get to admitting she was wrong and he was right. Or maybe it was just how amazing he made everything taste, even reheated French toast. “You need to teach me how to cook as well as you.”

Mido brightened at the request. “I can if you’d like. We’ll start with simple stuff.”

“Like what?” she asked between bites.

“Coffee.”

She gave him a humorless grin and he just laughed. “I can make a cup of coffee.”

“As good as mine?”

He had her again. “No.”

“Well once we’re done eating, I’ll teach you the secret to good coffee. You look like you’re gonna need another cup soon anyway.”

Now that her mind was catching up with the amount of food in her stomach, she was beginning to feel dead tired again. “Sounds good.” She snuck in sips of coffee between bites of breakfast, and as soon as she was done, her eyelids began to feel real heavy. She finished her coffee, but the caffeine wasn’t doing anything for her. She rested her head against the wall, closed her eyes, and listened to Mido finish his own breakfast.

*     *     *

At some point she startled awake to a hand shaking her shoulder. Mido stood over her with a contented smile on his face.

“The coffee lesson can wait until later. I’ll escort you back to your bunk.”

She let out a tired groan as she forced herself to sit up. She was too tired to protest as Mido helped her back to her feet. She mechanically took a few steps towards the cabins and swayed into the wall. Mido caught her for the second time today, then scooped her into his strong arms. She let out another tired groan, then buried her face in the meat of his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her face felt flushed. Her tired body bounced with his steady strides and swayed as he sidestepped into her room. He carefully deposited her in her bunk, untied and pulled off her steel toe boots. She pulled her feet onto the bed and feebly grabbed at her blankets. Mido pulled the blankets over her, and her tired brain barely registered the kiss he planted on her cheek before she passed out.

Chapter 11

Coffee

Jessie woke up feeling the most relaxed she had in years. She’d woken up smiling, too. What was with that? Come to think of it, why did it matter? Smiles were good. She rolled over and lifted her bunk curtain.

A wave of fear passed over her as she remembered she was surrounded by men. She whipped off her blankets. She was still fully clothed in her plain shirt and cargo pants, zipper up and button still fastened. Her insides didn’t hurt with the telltale pain that she’d been raped. Heck, she still had her socks and undergarments on, and she couldn’t smell her own stink, if she stank at all.

She sat up and looked at herself, still dressed and unharmed after passing out however many hours ago. She had some vomit splatter on her knees, but other than that she was clean. She’d been in a vulnerable position during waking hours and no one had done anything to her, except tuck her into bed. She touched her cheek.

And given her a kiss.

It was almost too good to be true to believe. She’d had so many nightmares on Tethys’s ship, and a few more every night on Dyne’s, except during her latest rest. It was such a merciful reprieve. Maybe Mido’s good night kiss had been magic.

Considering the strange times with quasi-children and water morphing into objects, maybe it was.

Jessie got out of her bunk and into her boots. When she straightened up, her fear returned out of habit. She wasn’t afraid of the men themselves, but what they could do to her. But... they’d just gone a bunch of hours without doing anything. Days, actually, if she took in the rest of her stay. Even Jacobi had hurt her with nothing more than words. But she was safe from Jacobi until his leg healed, and Cancer had admitted he owed her an apology. She really needed to undo her habitual fear reactions. How exactly she wasn’t sure. She was sure about not living the rest of her life in fear. It was too stressful and exhausting.

Feeling quite hungry, she headed for the galley. No amazing smells wafted down the hall but the lingering smell of eggs and bacon filled the galley. Mido was chopping vegetables at the counter. Cancer and Sam were at the table hunched over ledger books. The entire table was covered in papers and  receipts.

Cancer looked over the rim of his glasses. “Why look who’s up at last.”

Sam turned and smiled. “Why good morning, Jessie. How do you feel after your twenty four-hour nap?”

“Twenty four-hour?” she exclaimed.

Cancer turned back to his ledger. “Give or take an hour. You were out cold. Your vitals were fine so I left you in peace.”

Sam said, “Word has it you had an emotional moment shortly after breakfast yesterday.”

Mido wiped his hands on his apron. He wore a pained expression. “I couldn’t not tell the doc what happened, and everyone was looking in when he gave you a checkup. Please don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not,” she said and meant it. “I’m just embarrassed I did all that.”

“Don’t be,” Sam said. “Yeh’ve been through a lot.”

“How do you feel?” Cancer asked.

Jessie took a deep breath and looked inward. “Fine. This is the best I’ve felt in so long. I feel lighter, too.”

“Good. Whether you believe it or not, vomiting helped get rid of bad energy weighing you down. What about your fear and anxiety levels?”

“They’re trying to creep back up but I’m trying to enjoy feeling more relaxed. I didn’t have any nightmares during my long nap, though.”

“I have some medication I can give you to curb your anxiety. It’s not a magical cure but it’ll help you stay calmer so you can better retrain yourself.”

Not sure what to say or do, Jessie looked to Mido and Sam. Cancer’s kind, businesslike manner was such a one-eighty. If she hadn’t overheard the conversation from the other night, she’d have thought this was his nice twin talking to her.

Sam said, “Listen to the good doctor. He knows his stuff.” Mido nodded.

Jessie turned back to Cancer, who watched her studiously. “I don’t mean to be rude but why are you being kind to me all of the sudden?”

Cancer set down his pen, pushed up his glasses, then folded his hands on the ledger. “I owe you an apology. We got off on the wrong foot.”

“You sure did!” Sam teased.

Cancer ignored him. “I still don’t agree with having any women aboard. It’s nothing personal, Jessie. I have a wife of thirty years whom I see only a few months out of the year. It’s too dangerous to have her on the
Pertinacious
. On top of that, we men often act too slovenly for a woman’s taste. You’ve seen our table manners.”

Jessie tried to picture Cancer’s wife. It was hard imagining anyone not being too intimidated to marry him in the first place but, sure enough, he wore a gold band around his left ring finger. His wife had to be as big and intimidating as him. And as headstrong. Any wife who saw her husband that infrequently had to be strong and devoted.

“Anyway, I apologize for treating you poorly. You didn’t deserve it.”

“Thank you.” She didn’t know what else to say. He sounded sincere, but was it only out of fear of this other Amphitrite? She highly doubted he would’ve changed his behavior if she was only Jessie. Hadn’t considered apologizing until he’d learned her real name. So now what?

Sam said, “Have a seat, Jessie. You must be hungry.” He scooted over, taking his ledger and papers with him. “Move yer stuff, yeh coot.” Cancer grabbed a bunch of papers and began reorganizing them so there was a free spot to put a plate.

Mido said, “Would you like some coffee, too?”

“Yes, please. And my coffee-making lesson.” Anything to put off sitting at the same table as Cancer. Sam wasn’t so bad but the doctor intimidated her.

“By the way,” Cancer said, “did you want the anxiety medicine?”

She nodded. “Anything to not go back to how I felt yesterday.”

He got up and stretched his spine, making his modest gut stick out. Jessie shuffled towards Mido. Cancer was a good eight inches taller than her five-five frame. “I’ll be handing out each dose to you. I make all the medicines, so I don’t let anyone into my supplies. Not even Dyne. It helps me keep track of what I have, along with better monitor everyone’s health. No exceptions for you. Understand?”

“Yes.” Fair enough.

“I’ll be right back.” He marched off.

Sam said, “So what’s this I hear about a lesson in coffee-making?”

Jessie stood before the coffee maker, a typical drip-style one.

“Jessie’s already figured out I’m one of the best cooks on the planet, so she wants some cooking lessons.” Mido poured the leftovers into the sink, then rinsed and filled the pot with fresh water to the four-cup line.

“She’s picked a good teacher.”

Mido set the pot aside and cleared out the coffee grounds and filter from their chamber. He set a fresh filter and a can of whole beans on the counter, then backed up. “Okay, your turn to take over.”

Jessie stepped up and reached for the paper filter.

“Start with the water. That way you’ll never forget it. You don’t want to come back ten minutes later, dying for a cup, just to realize you never poured in any water.”

“Fine.” It seemed trivial; however, she decided to be a good student and listen. Once the water was poured and the pot set to catch fresh-brewed goodness, she tucked the filter in the coffee maker and gave the frilly edges a few pats so it sat evenly.

“I gave you four cups of water, so that’s four scoops of beans. Make sure each scoop is nice and even so you always get the same flavor from pot to pot.”

Jessie leveled out four scoops nice and flat before adding them to the machine.

“Now go ahead and close the lid and hit the ‘four’ button.”

She did as told. There were eight buttons vertically lined up on the side. She took a step back and folded her arms. The machine hummed as the beans were ground up. “Gee, that was so hard.”

“Lesson’s not over,” Mido said. “That’s only half of it. Now what would you like for breakfast?”

“What time is it?”

Sam looked at his wristwatch. “About ten.”

Jessie turned back to her teacher. “And what are you making right now?”

“Slow-cooked chili for dinner.”

“Oo, my favorite!” Sam said.

“I’ll just have some toast. You look busy enough.”

“Don’t worry about it. I love cooking.”

“Toast is still just fine.”

Mido fired up the griddle, then buttered up two pieces of multigrain bread and added two round slices of Canadian bacon from the fridge. He shuffled to an overhead cupboard and set four tin mugs on the counter, near the coffee maker.

Cancer’s heavy footsteps returned to the galley, an amber bottle in hand. He tipped one pill into the plastic cap and held it out for her to take. Jessie hesitated, then forced herself to push through her fear and take the pill. On top of her usual fears, she worried he might be trying to drug her but, with two witnesses, there couldn’t be a chance of that.

“Bite it in half,” Cancer said. “I want to give you a few days before I let you have a whole pill.”

Jessie carefully bit down and handed half the pill back. Cancer tucked it inside a tissue baggie and capped the bottle. Mido turned on the faucet. Jessie went over and washed down the bitter-tasting powder with a lot of water, then Cancer returned to his paperwork as Mido set some cream and nutmeg next to the awaiting mugs.

“Now for the second half of the lesson.” Mido set a metal spatula on the edge of the griddle. “Pour cream in two of the mugs. Sam likes his black. Pour just a little more than enough to cover the bottom of the cup.” He shook the carton, then showed her with one.

Jessie took the carton, then carefully poured cream in two more cups.

Mido stowed the cream back in the fridge before returning to his vegetables. “Now sit tight until the coffee’s ready.”

She leaned against the counter and watched Mido chop up a pile of zucchini, squash, peppers, carrots, celery, tomatoes, and onion. He got all the way through his first four vegetables by the time the coffee pot gurgled and shut itself off with a click. Mido rinsed and dried his hands, flipped, the toast and bacon, then poured coffee into the tin he’d poured cream in. He added a pinch of nutmeg and stirred the contents with a teaspoon.

“Pour the coffee and add a pinch of nutmeg to everyone’s mugs.”

“Nutmeg?” Sam said.

“You’ll like it. Adds a little extra flavor.”

Jessie filled up the remaining mugs and added a pinch just like Mido had. She stirred Sam’s black coffee first, then the other two. She brought Sam’s and Cancer’s coffee over as instructed. They thanked her as she set them down, and when she returned to the counter, Mido handed her the mug she’d made. She took a sip. “It’s good, but not as good as yours.”

Sam took a noisy sip. “Tastes great to me. I like the spice.” He took a second sip, then went back to work.

Mido traded mugs with her.

Jessie sipped the coffee Mido had prepared and enjoyed its spicy smoothness all the way down. “Yours is better and you did the exact same thing I did. I don’t get it.”

Mido took a sip from his own mug and licked his lips. “The secret is to put how much you care about the people you’re feeding into everything you make. Still, I think you did a good job. And as a reward for your efforts...” He took one of Jessie’s hands. She retracted her hand and shied away, but then forced herself to retake her ground, tentatively holding out her hand for him to take. He hesitated, then wrapped her hand in a feather touch and kissed her knuckles.

Jessie couldn’t help but smile. Her heart rate slowed back down and she felt calmer. “Are you sure you’re not using magic or something?”

Mido smiled back as gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Wish I was.” Cancer cleared his throat and Sam chuckled. Mido lost his smile and turned around as he let go. He ran a hand through his hair. “Almost forgot I was cooking.” He flipped the toast and bacon. “Take a seat, Jessie. Food’s almost ready.”

Mug in hand, Jessie forced herself to walk to the table. Sam scooted a little farther over. Jessie struggled with slowing her breathing. She was starting to hyperventilate just at the thought of sitting across from Cancer. Standing near him was one thing. Sitting was another. It would take that much more effort to start running if she needed to.

Cancer said, “Jessie, tell yourself to calm down.”

“I’m trying.” She set her mug down and stood before Dyne’s customary spot at the table. She kept telling herself over and over in her head to calm down, that this wasn’t how she wanted to react, that this was a horrible feeling she needed to stop making herself experience. Still no calmer, she slowly turned and sat down, and her eyes stung with tears.

“Breathe, Jessie,” Sam urged.

She took a gulp of air, then began panting. After a few seconds, she took a deep breath and wiped her tears. She put the edge of the table in a death grip and tried to slow her breathing. This reaction was not fun at all. The sooner she could train herself to stop this, the better. She’d never given being surrounded by men a second thought before Tethys. In fact, she used to relish their attention. Now it was hell.