To Love and to Cherish (2 page)

Which raised the question—was the baby mine?

I laughed softly to myself without mirth. Kay wouldn't be dumb enough to try to pass a baby off as mine that wasn't. She'd have to know that if there were ever any question, I'd demand a paternity test. If she'd been planning to leave me for Lazer all along, she would have made sure the child was mine. Billions depended on it.

Which, in an odd way, should have comforted me. Odds were she hadn't slept with Lazer. At least not until she was sure she was pregnant with my baby. The thought of her and Lazer together made me sick. I trembled with rage.

Could Kay be such a fine actor? She'd sure as hell fooled me in Italy. But now everything she'd done was suspect. Had she staged her rugby accident to cut our honeymoon short and keep me from touching her more than necessary?

Every geek-guy insecurity I'd ever had rose to the surface. All this money. Shit! All this money, nothing more than a curse. I would never be certain of any woman's love. I thought I'd found genuine love with Kay. If she could betray me, how would I ever trust another woman?

And now this baby. This morning I'd been delirious with happiness. Now it tied me to a faithless woman. I had to think. I had to decide. I was too blinded by rage and hurt to think clearly right now.

Somehow I ended up back at Flash. I pulled the car into my reserved spot, turned off the engine, and pounded the steering wheel. I was stunned to be at Flash. I didn't remember the drive at all. And damned lucky I hadn't been pulled over. I had a vague memory of blasting through a red light at an intersection monitored by cameras. I could expect a ticket. Shit. Like I cared.

I was in deep trouble. Without Kay to vouch for the validity of our marriage, I was at the imposter's mercy. And if Kay wanted more money, she had the power to blackmail me for it now.

I took a deep breath, grasping for my coping mechanisms. When I was young, I'd been bullied to the point of breaking. As a bullying victim, there are two ways to fight back. Go completely crazy on your attackers. So crazy they're afraid of you. I was too physically small to apply that method with much success. And not violent enough by nature.

Or ruin your opponents after the fact of the attack in a way that lets them know, subtly, it was you. Though they can't prove it. And that you're capable of more, much more. They have to fear reprisal. You have to be smart. Wily. Devious.
Patient.
The guys who harassed me eventually learned that bad crap happened to them after messing with me. Too often to be coincidental.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.
A text.
My heart stopped. My hand shook as I pulled it out. I didn't know what I was hoping for. Yes, I did. Kay reaching out. A text was better than nothing at all.

I replayed the scene at the penthouse. The worst part. All right, not
the
worst part.
One
of the worst parts—she turned and ran away rather than chase after me. Yeah, I was upset and being a douche. But I wasn't worth going after? She gave up that easily on me? On us?

I looked at the phone.

From Dex.
Awesome news. I found her! She's still in Reno.

I took a deep breath. All right then. Change of plans. If Kay didn't love me—I choked up at the thought—I had to disable the imposter
now
. No more waiting around. And then deal with Kay. I realized then that I'd been such a fool in love that I'd actually handed Kay more power than the ID thief had.

I was going to Reno to confront that bitch once and for all. Find out who and what were behind the girl I'd really married. Find out what she wanted. Like I didn't already know—what every other woman on the planet wanted, my money.

I texted Dex back.
Great. It's off to Reno.

When?

First flight I can get. Get me the details. I'll look for them in the usual spot. Is everything in place? Are we ready to move?

As ready as we can be. I thought you wanted to wait until 90 days were up?

Something's come up. I need to act now.

Oh, shit, man, what?

It's personal.

There was a pause in our text conversation. I saw the thought bubbles while Dex typed, but he wasn't hitting send.

Trouble in paradise with my cousin?

Don't ask. I don't want to put you in the middle.

Since when have I cared about being caught in the crossfire? I want in. I'm going to Reno one way or another. I have my cousin to protect either way. Anyway, I've been in on this adventure too long to miss the grand finale. And I hate to say it—Kidding! No, I don't—you need me to run the scam on the scam artist. Who else can you trust? Who else has the skills? You don't want to let anyone else in on the secret now. Text me the details. I'll meet you at the airport.

I replied,
You have my birthday party to go to.

So do you. You're a more important guest than I am. I'll text Lala my regrets. See you in a few.

I grabbed Data, jumped out of the car, and beeped it to lock it. Then I strode into Flash like I owned it. Oh, wait. I did.

Marla spotted me. "Hey, birthday boy! I thought you were out for the day?"

"I was." I forced myself to smile. "But you know Flash. She's a jealous mistress. She doesn't like sharing me with my personal life."

I was doing my damned best to put on a good face. But Marla picked up on something. She glanced at Data, who barked a greeting. "Is it take your dog to work day and I missed it?"

Yeah. Taking Data had been an impulse I was already regretting. I was too upset to leave her with Kay. What was I going to do with her now? "I have to take her to the groomer." Feeble lie.

Marla nodded and patted me on the shoulder. "It's your day. Take some time for yourself."

Yeah. Sure. It really was my day. From golden birthday to shredded paper birthday in a matter of minutes.

Ophie was at her desk. She looked up when I walked in, surprised. Then her face lit up with genuine delight. "Jus, what are you doing back?"

I hated myself for being so damned happy that
some
woman, any woman, was glad to see me. Ophie wore her adoration for me as plainly as one of her decorative scarves. She wasn't Kay. Never would be. But she was smart and loyal. And so into me it was almost painful.

I made a fist and walked past, calling over my shoulder. "I have a job for you. Come into my office."

She followed me in, too loyal to question me.

I shut the door behind her and set Data down to run around the office.

Ophie looked at me with limpid eyes. What the hell was so special and romantic about limpid eyes, anyway? It just meant clear. So? She had clear eyes? And yet they were. Clear and searching and sympathetic. Concerned for me. And in my current state, that meant something to me.

"I have to go to Reno." I looked down into those eyes and wondered for the first time since Kay'd come into my life what it would be like to kiss Ophie. What would it be like to be with a woman who worshiped me? With a woman I didn't have to win?

My ego was battered and bruised. I felt the balm of her gaze on me.

I cleared my throat and the thought. "Book me a chartered flight out. I'd like to leave as soon as possible. Within the hour. Two if absolutely necessary. I'll pay extra. Anything it takes. And book Data into the best dog-sitting kennel in the city." I hated to leave her in a kennel. But right now that was the lesser of two evils. I could have called Magda. But that seemed like too much of an imposition.

Ophie frowned gently, lines of concern on her face. She glanced at Data and back to me. "I haven't heard of any trouble."

I left her curiosity hanging.

Her forehead puckered. She laid a hand gently on my arm. "It's your birthday, Jus. Your wife is throwing you a big party tonight. Can't it wait?" She hesitated and bit her lip in the way Kay often did. "You don't want to disappoint her—"

"To hell with Kay!" The words burst out with more force than I intended. I took a deep breath and ran my hand through my hair, trying to get control of myself. "Business comes first."

Ophie nodded, her eyes sympathetic. "Will Riggins be going with you? Will he need arrangements?"

I shook my head. "Just me." I paused. What about Dex? "And maybe another. I'll need hotel accommodations, too. Book me in the usual suite."

"For how long?" she said, gazing up at me.

Her perfume wafted up to me, reminding me of Kay. I swallowed hard against the memories and the hurt that thoughts of Kay evoked.

"I don't know. A week? Start with that." I nodded, dismissing her to accomplish her task.

She nodded, too, and hesitated. "Do you need me to go with you? I'd be happy to." She paused, her hand still on my arm. "If you need me."

Did I need her? What the hell did I need? I'd thought I needed Kay.

Ophie knew how to be discreet.

"It's short notice. I'm not that kind of boss—"

She squeezed my arm. "I don't have any plans. I don't mind. Not at all."

I nodded. Or maybe I was.

K
ayla

Even as Lazer tried to calm me down, my phone began buzzing with texts.

From Britt.
What is Justin doing back at work? I thought he left for the day?

I couldn't even answer that one. Too angry and upset.

From my sorority sister Morgan.
Hugs, sweetie. Has Justin left you? It's all over social media! But they can be brutal, vicious liars. #Jus&KayDone #JusGreenAvailable? #AnotherCelebMarriageFail

I took a look at my social media accounts and it was true. They were full of the news. It was even on the celebrity gossip blogs.

Seattle flash sale fashion billionaire Justin Green was caught on a traffic cam running a red light after leaving his Bellevue penthouse in a hurry this afternoon. Neighbors who saw him in the parking garage report that he was upset as he jumped into his sports car and peeled out of the garage. A little birdie told us his friend and mentor Lazer Grayson was seen going up to the penthouse shortly before Justin arrived home unexpectedly. Rumors have flown for months that there may be more than friendship between Mr. Grayson and Mrs. Green. Has he finally come between Justin and Kayla for good?

I showed it to Lazer. He shook his head. "Bastards."

I was furious and trembling with anger that was quickly turning to rage. "Who told on us? Obviously this snooty building doesn't have the high privacy standard that Carl enforces at my apartment." When I looked like I was going to throw the phone again, Lazer pried it out of my hand.

"I think this has suffered enough trauma for one day."

"What do I do about Justin's birthday party?" I said to Lazer. "The caterers will be here in another hour. If I hurry I can cancel—"

Lazer set the phone down and grabbed me by both hands. "Absolutely not. If you cancel this party, you verify the rumors. You give them exactly what they want, an admission of guilt."

"How can I throw a birthday party without the guest of honor? What if Jus doesn't show up?" I was petrified that he wouldn't. And worried he would. The last thing we needed was a scene in front of our family and friends.

"What if he doesn't?" Lazer shrugged.

"You haven't seen the birthday cakes. They're geared toward announcing our new little bundle of joy." I blinked back tears. "How can I announce something like that by myself?"

"You can always run to the grocery store and pick up a new cake quick," he said with dark humor.

I shot him a black look. I wasn't in the mood for funny. There was no way I could entertain at the billionaire's level with grocery-store-bought cake.

Lazer held up his hands in self-defense. "If he doesn't show, you tell the guests yourself. Show them how committed you two are to being a family and staying together.

"We'll make up a story about Justin suddenly being called away on urgent business. The key is for us to go on like business as usual. Anyone who's known Justin since he started Flash won't be surprised he'd put the company before his own birthday interests. They'll applaud you for being such a supportive wife." He looked deep into my eyes. "Do you want Justin back?"

I nodded, heart breaking. "That goes without saying, doesn't it?"

He had the good grace not to comment.

I took a deep breath. "Damn it, Lazer! Of all the times we could have been caught when there actually was a reason for Jus to be jealous and now he walks in on us when everything was totally innocent. It isn't fair!"

Lazer squeezed my hands. "Since when did life promise to be fair?"

I had no answer. But that was his point, wasn't it?

"Look, if you want Justin back, you're going to have to fight for him. Be prepared to put on the show of your life tonight. You'll have to be glittering and vivacious. Happy. Excited about this pregnancy. Effusive. Gushing about Justin and having his baby! And how wonderful everything is!" He was putting girly inflection on everything on purpose. It was annoying in its false perkiness and near mockery. "Everything the happily married expectant mom should be.

"No one can suspect the truth. No one should even
guess
there's any hint of trouble between you. Or that I'm part of it.

"When I show up, acting my part of Justin's friend and mentor, tongues will wag. At first. After that, everyone will go home laughing about tabloid news. Leaving everyone wondering how the rumors could possibly be true." He gave my hands a shake and another squeeze. "How good's your acting?"

Acting. Again. I sighed. "Pretty damn convincing when it needs to be." Wasn't that the truth? "Lazer?"

"Yes?"

"Bring a date tonight," I said, wiping my eyes. "As hot a date as you can find."

"You want me to find a date at this late notice?" He laughed like it was a challenge he looked forward to.

"Is that a problem?"

He shrugged.

"Pay one if you have to," I said.

"It won't come to that." He grinned, full of a kind of egotistical charm.

If Jus really wouldn't come back to me…

No. Lazer and I weren't meant to be. I wouldn't give up so easily. I wanted Jus. I
would
get him back.

"Make sure she and you are convincing." I tried not to sniffle. "We have to squelch these rumors."

"Let me handle it." Lazer turned me toward the bedroom. "Now, go wipe your eyes and put on the outfit you were planning to wear. Reapply your makeup. And smile."

I paused to look at him. "What are you going to do?"

"Sneak out of here without getting caught."

J
ustin

Staring at Ophie, I made a split-second decision. Getting back at Kay by getting with Ophie was reckless. As angry and hurt as I was, common sense stopped me. Yeah, I could have used an ego boost. But I'd already screwed up too many times. I couldn't take the chance that Ophie would find out what I was really up to in Reno. I needed the freedom to bring down the imposter. And then…

The hell if I knew. For now I had to focus my anger and energy on one thing.

"I need you here," I said.

Her face fell. She recovered quickly and nodded. "Then why do you need a dog sitter? I'll watch Data."

I shook my head. "Thanks, but no. I don't want to put you out."

"You're not putting me out. I love animals!"

I shook my head. "Call the sitter."

Ophie nodded reluctantly. "I'll take her over myself later. Right now, let me get you that plane."

Ophie's organizational skills never failed to amaze me. Ophie had a plane, and a dog sitter, lined up within the hour, just as I'd requested. Dex met me at the airport. By unspoken agreement, guided by prudence and a sense of playing spy, neither of us could talk about the mission while we were in public, on the plane, or anywhere else anyone could overhear. In that regard, hanging with Dex was like pretending to be married to Kay.

Every time I thought about her, the hurt welled up along with rage.

Dex slapped me on the back. "We'll talk later, man."

I gave him a dark, skeptical look. "I don't feel like talking."

"No? But plans must be made." Dex winked.

"What excuse did you make to Kay?" Morbid curiosity was hell.

Dex shrugged. "The truth—I'd been called out of town." He laughed wickedly.

K
ayla

Dex called out of town? With Justin? At least my cousin was kind enough to let me know and not leave me hanging as to whether Jus would attend his own party. So now it was clear—Jus had abandoned me. Flown the city and the coop of domesticity. Left me to deal with the wolves of society alone. To tame the suspicions and gossipmongers.

He didn't deserve for me to save his ass, but I was determined to do it anyway. Out of a perverse sense of pride. I wasn't going to be dumped by Justin Green.

I was in no emotional shape to throw a party. Broken hearts didn't put me in the best partying mood. Added to that was my fury, whether completely warranted or not, with my best friend. How could she be so stupid?

My morning sickness had taken a turn for the worse. I was literally sick and tired. And figuratively sick and tired of pretending about everything. Of living in a world where nothing was real. Everything was faked. And the good deeds and points I made counted for nothing.

I made up my mind—Lazer was right. I was going to share the news of my pregnancy at Justin's party whether he showed up or not. And since he was supposedly on a plane out of town, "not" was the most likely scenario. Though he had enough money to turn the plane around if he wanted. Anyway, one less secret to keep. And sympathies would run on my side on this one. How dare he abandon his pregnant wife when she'd planned such a perfect party for him? What a douche!

Every breakup has it stages of grief. There's shock, heartbreak, and denial. Which are almost always followed by anger. Righteous anger was coming on strong for me. I fed off it. Its energy would get me through the party. I just hoped it didn't turn my baby into a monster. Or give me a major case of heartburn. Ha! So aptly named in this case.

Okay, so from Justin's perspective, things
had
looked bad when he'd walked in on me. Did that mean it was okay for Jus to jump to conclusions? To assume the worst? To think that I would lie to him about loving him? Get pregnant on purpose for his money? Did he not know me at all? Wasn't he the one who'd had to convince me to take his money and this wife gig in the first place? Was his memory so short? Was he so insecure that he couldn't believe I loved him?

He was being a douche! A complete and utter idiot. If he was going to be that way, I would…I would…I wanted to slap him. Shove him. Scream at him. Throw a tantrum. So, yes, my inner five-year-old was raging.

I resisted the urge to text him and tell him where he could go and what he could do. In other words, commit relationship suicide. Lazer's warning stopped me. If I texted, I was going to say something I would regret later. Maybe forever. Right now, I had a job to do—stop the spread of gossip. Put a good face on things until the father of my child came to his senses.
If
he came to his senses.

No,
when
. When, when, when. It
had
to be when.

All right, I was being a flipper and a flopper. But that's the way heartbreak was, wasn't it? You're sometimes fatalistic and sometimes overly optimistic. Emotional turmoil is nonsensical by nature.

In my raging state, I began to wonder if I could live with a guy who had so little faith in me and my love for him. I didn't have time to be philosophical. I had to get moving!

I followed Lazer's instructions and got dressed. In my sexiest happy-birthday-baby dress. Ha! Double entendre there. Jus would be sorry he'd missed seeing me in this. It was one of my Italian purchases that would soon be on the Flash site. And relegated to my closet as I developed a baby bump. But that was me—always promoting Flash like a good little spouse.

I reapplied my makeup with care. Vamping it up. If the dogs of gossip were going to howl, they might as well have something to howl about. I put on a bright face and a dazzling assortment of Italian gold jewelry. Highly appropriate for Justin's golden birthday celebration. I even rehearsed what I was going to say to Britt. Which only fueled the fires of anger and indignation.

Then I dragged that rattling monstrosity of Mylar baby congrats balloons out to the balcony where they wouldn't be the first things the guests saw and spoil my big announcement and sympathy play.

On the balcony, they blew in the gentle breeze, bumping against each other like playful siblings hellbent on aggravating their parents with all the grating noise they made. The balloons mocked me with their cheerful message and extravagance. In a fit of anger, I stomped inside to the kitchen, grabbed a pair of kitchen shears, tromped outside, bent, and cut the balloons loose from their base.

I held them for a second, clutched in my fist so tightly my knuckles turned white. Rage was a powerful thing. At that moment I hated Jus. I hated him because it was better than falling apart. I couldn't afford to cave to my emotions and break down now. Too much depended on it. I stood and slowly opened my fingers.
Oops!
The balloons slipped out of my grasp. How sad.

I watched them float over the balcony railing and into the sky above Bellevue, feeling they were somehow symbolic of my situation. They glinted in the evening sun, drifting upward and away in a much more gentle manner than Justin's love had left me. Suddenly, they caught a thermal and took off, rising higher and higher. Out of my reach. Wasn't that the way with everything in my life right now?

I had a moment's panic as I imagined the media getting hold of this gesture of mine. Fortunately, squeezed out by rage, the panic fled quickly enough.

As I turned to go into the penthouse, I tripped on the anchor. I grabbed it, tempted to hurl it over the balcony, too. Only the thought of hurting some innocent bystander on the street below stopped me. Rage makes you blind. It had blinded me earlier. I hadn't seen the gold pendant necklace looped around the blue anchor. A big heart with a little heart cuddled inside.

Ah. Mommy and baby.
With no daddy heart, I might add.

Fine, Jus! Leave me with this sentimental gesture to break my heart again. I swallowed the lump in my throat. And put on my defiant face as I unhooked the necklace and put it on.
I'll wear your token of love and show everyone.

I may need to pawn this later,
I thought. I was that mad and upset.

My perpetually early, eager parents showed up first, carrying a huge gift box and worrying over it. And me. It was clear from the moment they arrived that they were uncomfortable. And concerned for me. Dad was eyeing me with that physician's look, the one where he assessed my color and tried to determine my overall health. I wondered if he could see the nausea looming just below the surface.

"What do you get a billionaire?" Mom whispered to me with a nervous titter in her voice. "It's impossible!"

My answering smile felt brittle. It was so hard to be pleasant when you were angry. "It will be
fine
, Mom. Jus is easy to please. He'll be happy you thought of him. It's all in the thought."