To Love and Obey (8 page)

Nick tightened his lips. Did he want to be around for a while? He hadn’t had a girlfriend in years and was almost proud of that fact. While his brothers, Eli and Kieran, were happily married with children, Nick kept a rotating door of dates like his younger brothers, Joey and Tony, did. “Maybe,” was all he could say. “Tell me more about your interests.”

Zerrin noticed that Nick changed the subject and decided not to pursue anything further. “Well, I love to travel. I’ve been to Italy, Russia, and London. I love sports. Basketball.”

“Who’s your favorite team?” Nick asked. “It better be the Knicks.”

“Excuse you,” Zerrin scoffed, “I’m free to choose whatever team to support.” Nick simply blinked at Zerrin before she burst into laughter. “Yes, it’s the Knicks.”

“What else?”

“I love to read. I love getting lost in the characters and stories I read.”

“Who’s your favorite author?”

“Stephen King.”

“Really?” Nick was pleasantly surprised. “That’s interesting.”

“A good interesting or a bad interesting?”

Nick locked eyes with Zerrin. He loved how certain angles would make her light brown eyes sparkle, making him wonder what she was really thinking. “Just interesting. Nothing more than that. I always figured you were a romance novel kind of woman.”

“I read those, too. But after a while, it gets old. I keep reading about the hero saving or rescuing the heroine and that never happens in real life,” she shook her head.

“Yes, it does,” Nick stated as fact.

A sensual air passed between them and Zerrin had a feeling Nick referred to the time he rescued her. She decided not to pursue that discussion—yet. “So tell me about you,” she changed the subject.

“I’m the oldest of five, all boys. The sperm donor also known as my father left when we were all young. Our mother worked two, sometimes three jobs just to keep us afloat. We didn’t have much money growing up, but we weren’t poor. We had a lot of family look after us when things were lean.”

“Are your brothers professors as well?”

“Eli and Joey help our mother with the family business, Madre’s. Tony has his own very successful barber shop and Kieran owns a child care business,” Nick sprinkled some oregano in the tomato sauce, “so we all have done pretty well. The lottery helped jump start our ambitions, but we don’t let the success go to our heads. We know how it was like to be without money and none of us want to go back to that state.”

Zerrin was pleased to hear about Nick and his brothers. There was more to Nick than she had falsely assumed. “Nieces or nephews?”

“Two nephews and a niece on the way.” Nick smiled.

“Do you want to have kids of your own one day?”

“One day,” a light smile formed on Nick’s face. He briefly thought about Nathan and Tyson and how excited Kieran was about Tiana’s pregnancy. Despite being a self-proclaimed bachelor, Nick secretly wanted his own family. “You?”

“I don’t know. I would love to have one healthy baby but I like to finish my schooling first.” Zerrin shrugged. “I wouldn’t be able to juggle a baby and grad school.”

“You would be able to do it,” Nick encouraged, “There are many people who have families and are in grad school.”

“Maybe.” Zerrin started to wonder what shade of brown a baby between her and Nick would look like. She shook her head to relieve the thoughts and focused back on the conversation at hand. “What made you go into academia?”

“Out of the five of us, I’m the nerd.” Nick shrugged with a smile. “I was more into the books instead of sports. I played football in high school and college because it was expected due to my size. But I was content being at home, studying.”

“Girlfriends?”

“Few and far in between. It wasn’t that I didn’t like to date; I just wasn’t interested in it. My brothers had plenty of girlfriends between all of them.” Nick could remember the various girls coming in and out of their house. He briefly remembered sleeping in the living room so Eli could entertain some chick he brought home from school. Eli stopped bringing home the dates when the brothers would critique the girl’s moaning the next morning over breakfast. “I think Joey and Tony are in a race to capture the title of Captain Save-A-Ho, years later.”

Zerrin chuckled hearing about Nick’s family. “So what made you go into the
Lifestyle
?”

“An old girlfriend decided she was going to get ‘kinky’ with me and blindfold me and tie me up. I liked it. I liked it a lot. I went online to do some more research. What she did to me was a form of
sensory deprivation
and I was curious. I found more about BDSM, about the
Lifestyle
, about it being safe, sane, and consensual…about everything. I met another Domme by the name of Sanora and it felt like I opened Pandora’s Box. She pretty much taught me everything, and I wanted to know more.” Nick’s eyes had a sudden gleam to them as he remembered the intense training session Sanora and Her submissives subjected him to at her Italian villa. He hated, absolutely hated the training at the time and said more than a few curse words in both English and Italian to all of them. Years later, he could appreciate the intensity he went through. It set the standard for what He put His own submissives through. “I decided I was more of a Dom than a submissive. I studied the
karada
method of rope tying, the various implements I could use on a submissive. I never looked back.”

It was time for Zerrin to get down to business—the real reason why she was at Nick’s home to begin with. “I wanted to talk to you about the contract you sent me, unless now is not a good time.”

“Now is the perfect time to discuss it,” Nick eyeballed the fire on the stove, “that’s why I invited you here. I’m sure you have a lot of questions.”

Zerrin put down her glass and took out the contract from her tote bag. “I don’t understand the purpose of a contract. Why is it necessary? I didn’t have to sign one before.”

“And in hindsight, you probably should have,” Nick countered.

Zerrin caught how serious Nick’s tone was. He was authoritative, yet respectful and not demeaning. “Some of these things you asked on here,” Zerrin flipped through the pages. “I won’t do.”

“And that’s good,” Nick concentrated on prepping the salad, “I didn’t think you would.”

Zerrin was confused. Was Nick already testing her? “So why did you put them on here if you knew I wouldn’t do them.”

“To see if
you
knew you wouldn’t do them.” He stopped tossing the salad and looked into Zerrin’s eyes. “You know what you like and what you don’t. You know what turns you on and turns you out. I’m merely here to facilitate it.”

Nick’s eyes had an intensity Zerrin had never seen before with previous lovers. It caused a confusing swell of emotions within her—intimidation and intrigue. “Some of these things…” Zerrin pulled out her reading glasses and began to read the list of items. “…what is a cat o’ nine tails?”

“A flogger.”

“A crop?”

“An implement.”

“A punishment cane?” Zerrin questioned. “Like a walking cane?”

“Not quite, but you will learn how to make one,” Nick’s tone was serious.

Nick’s tone reminded Zerrin of her childhood and how her grandmother would make her go to the front yard and pick a switch to hit her with. She then glanced over the list of emotional, mental, physical, and sexual requirements. The first thing Nick highlighted was an immediate change in diet. He told her in so many words she was fat. “Why do I need to go on a diet?”

“I’m not putting you on a diet. I’m putting you on a lifestyle change.” Nick fried sausage in another pan. “Fruits and veggies are your friends.”

“I like my cheeseburgers, Master.”

“You’ll still get to eat them but definitely not as much,” he added.

Zerrin read more of the contract. It was separated into three sections: mental, emotional, and physical. At the end of each paragraph, Nick made it clear she could decide if the requirements were acceptable. If they weren’t, they would have to find a nice medium they both could agree to. “I need to keep a daily journal?”

“To talk about your feelings, both D/s and non-related. It’s not something I would ever read. It’s for your use only.”

“Mantras?”

“To empower you.”

“Written assignments?”

“You’re going to list five things that you’re grateful for and five good things that happened in your day and send it to me daily. It’s to make you aware no matter how shitty of a day you’ve had, there’s always a blessing somewhere.”

“Safe word?”

“You’ll come up with it. If not, we’ll go by the traffic light system.”

“Yoga?” Zerrin took off her glasses. “I’m not that flexible.”

“Oh, you will be,” Nick grinned.

Zerrin squeezed her thighs shut. Nick was doing unimaginable things to her core and they haven’t even kissed. Still, she was unsure about Nick. Her last experience with a Dom wasn’t that long ago, and it had been an unfortunate one, at that. “How do I know you won’t be like the last one?”

“Your last Dom was a joke. Ordering you around and manhandling you is not how a Dom is supposed to act and anyone worth their salt can tell you that. A D/s relationship is more than just multiple orgasms, spankings, and floggers. A D/s relationship is ninety percent mental. The
submissive
has all of the control, something your Dom should have told you. The only thing the submissive needs is guidance.

“A Dom is your lover, best friend, coach, teacher, parent, sounding board, leader, provider, protector, shoulder to cry on, ear to vent to. I keep you on the straight and narrow and that’s all. I don’t degrade you. I won’t humiliate you. Sure, there are Doms out there that do those things, but I’m not one of them.”

“But what’s this thing here about the proposed therapy sessions?” Zerrin asked. “I’m not crazy.”

“I don’t know that,” Nick replied and Zerrin narrowed her eyes at him, “being a submissive is not for everyone, and it can be a challenge for someone who’s not used to it.”

“I’ve been a submissive before, Master.”

“You’ve been a submissive to a shit Master,” Nick corrected. “You don’t know how to properly serve and submit, and that fool most certainly didn’t teach you.”

“So what can you offer me, Sir?” Zerrin asked.

“I can offer you guidance, security, protection, and leadership,” Nick walked over to Zerrin and motioned her to stand up. He stood in front of her, caressing her face with one hand while the other hand wrapped around her back, pressing her tightly against his body. “I can offer you love, if you’re open to it.”

Zerrin felt her breathing become labored. Nick’s hand was pressed firmly into her back, his strong arms cradling her body. She read his eyes—they were full of want and fire. She inhaled his woodsy cologne and an erotic sensation crawled all over her body, down to her core. The sharp pang in her stomach was the only reason she didn’t pursue anything further at that time. “I’m hungry, Sir.”

A slow smile formed on Nick’s face. “So am I.”

****

The pair conversed over a wide range of topics over dinner, avoiding anything school-related. Instead they focused on each other’s likes and interests, genuinely getting to know one another. After dinner, they enjoyed wine while admiring the New York skyline from the balcony.

“Are you having a good time?” Nick leaned against the balcony and glanced over to Zerrin.

“It’s been very relaxing, yes.” She let out a deep breath. “Thank you for inviting me over. I needed the distraction.”

“I was once a grad student myself. I know how it can be.” Nick took a sip of wine. “It’s not for everyone.”

You can say that again.
Zerrin wondered when she was supposed to think with having research, office hours, teaching class, and one thing called sleep. She was in her second year of grad school and she began to wonder if she was going to be a student forever. “How do you keep motivated? What keeps you going?” Zerrin asked.

“The sole purpose why I went to begin with.” Nick focused his attention back to Zerrin. “To pay it forward. Think about your past. You always had someone who looked out for you, right? You always had someone to encourage you. And even now, you can think back to that person and smile at the memory. That’s what I kept me going. I wanted to be that encouragement to someone who doesn’t have a support system.”

“But sometimes the way you go about it isn’t the right way…” Zerrin began.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Nick shrugged. “But I don’t know what goes on with those students once they leave my classroom. All I know is who they are for those three hours every week. Nothing more, nothing less. But I can’t judge them until I really know them.”

It was at that moment Zerrin began to look at Nick in a different light. There were many layers to him, and she wondered if he intentionally covered his true intentions by being a man-whore. “You’re complicated man, Mr. D’Amato.” She lightly folded her arms.

Nick took another sip of wine and set his glass down. He walked over to Zerrin and softly caressed her face. “We’re all complicated, Zerrin. None of us are easy.”