To Love a Player (10 page)

As he opened his mouth to say something, my phone rang and I could tell by the ringtone that it was Ben. His eyes were closed as he turned back to the cutting board and I could see him swallow hard. I let out a soft sigh as I answered, "Hello?"

"Hey babe," Ben said on the other end and I could hear muffled sounds in the background. I set down my glass and went to my room, turning to see Callen looking over his shoulder at me. The intense look was still there, but I could see a hint of something else that I couldn't pinpoint.

"Hi Ben," I said quietly back and Ben asked, "Everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah, everything's great." I lied, trying to shake the thickness out of my voice. I shut the door and fell into my bed, letting the softness wrap around me. I closed my eyes as I listened to Ben talk about things in Boston and how excited he was to show me the sights. My mind drifted to Callen and I knew what I had to do. I knew that I couldn't be with Ben and have these feelings for Callen; it wasn't fair to either of them.

However, other than the occasional "moment", I wasn't sure how Callen felt about me. He was also dating Sophie and I didn't want to be something on the side when she wasn't around. It was all or nothing, I didn't deserve to be mixed in with his revolving door of women. Then again, maybe I was imagining our "moments" were more than what they actually were. Kissing him would help clear that up.

I heard Ben say my name and I shook my head of the thoughts. I heard him chuckle on the other end and I asked, "What's so funny?"

"You," he said sweetly and I smiled as I asked, "What do you mean?"

"I've said your name three times," Ben chuckled softly again, "and I got nothing. Are you sure everything is okay?"

I pulled the phone away and let out a sigh. Breaking up with Ben on the phone wasn't going to happen, I needed to do it face to face, plus I wasn't even sure of the thing between Callen and me. Maybe it was nothing, maybe it was more than we were both ready for, maybe one kiss won't be enough, maybe it would complicate things...I had too many maybe's and not enough definite.

"I'm sorry, Ben," I said, sighing into the phone and he said, "It's okay, we can talk about which sights to see when you get here Friday night. I can't wait to see you."

"I can't wait to see you either," I said softly and smiled.

I should have kissed her. I should have just grabbed her and kissed her until we couldn’t stand, then I'd take her to my bed, or hers…no, my bed, because it’s closer…hell, I'd settle for the kitchen floor, just as long as I could continue kissing her. I'd kiss every inch of her, savoring the feel of her soft skin under my lips, and then when I finished, I'd start over again.

After I satisfied that urge, what happens next? Where would we go from there? Was I ready for that next part? I wasn't talking about sex because it didn't matter to me if it happened or not, at least not right away. I'd wait for that as long as she wanted me to, if that's what she wanted. I knew that my problem of kissing her would only make me want to do it again and again. But then what?

Both of us were involved with other people, although I'm sure that I don't want to be with Sophie anymore. There is something about her that's different, almost like she is constantly looking over my shoulder for something better. Sure, she's attentive when it was just her and me, but when we are out with others, she's always scanning the room. She thought that I never noticed, but sometimes it was hard not to. Sometimes I don't know why I went to her house that night—was it because Mollie was going off with Ben?

I heard her bedroom door open, so I let out a long sigh to shake away the moment we had before. I needed things to be light, and far away from that moment before Ben called. I smiled warmly at her over my shoulder, ignoring her questioning eyes. She looked a little surprised and slowly matched my smile.

"Dinner's ready." I said cheerfully.

13

Mollie

"Are you in love my uncle?" Elly asked me, causing me to almost spit out the water that I just drank. I choked it down, coughing before taking another swig. She gave me a knowing smile as she said, "Never mind, I know my answer."

"What do you mean?" I asked, wiping my mouth with a napkin."You just caught me by surprise. Besides, I have a boyfriend named Ben, remember?"

Her blue eyes danced with amusement as she gave a casual shrug. We were enjoying an afternoon by the beautiful lake that Callen brought me to on our first morning run together. Since then, we have used it as our place to be together, like it's our own little world where there's no Ben or no Sophie. We run silently down to the path, and then hold hands while we walk around the lake. Sometimes we talk, other times we are just comfortable in our mutual silence.

"Your Uncle Cal and I are just friends," I said, trying to sound convincing. Sometimes we were more than friends, but yet, there were times when we bordered the line of something beyond that. I wasn't going to tell Elly that though. We hadn't kissed yet, but there have many times where we just stared into each other's eyes while our mouths were inches apart, our breath mingling together. I think that we were just both afraid of what comes next.

That's not to suggest there hasn't been any kissing at all, though. Callen gives me a lingering kiss on the cheek each night before we go to our separate rooms, or when we're walking out by the lake, he'll kiss the back of my hand as he is leading me down the dock. My favorite is when we're watching the morning mist rise and he kisses the side of my head while his arms are wrapped around me.

Elly gave me another knowing smile, while shaking her head as she chuckled softly. I shook my head, letting out a long sigh as we watched Mara and Jace dance in the shallow water of the lake. It had been a great week with Callen to the point that I did not really want to go to Boston to see Ben tonight. I had been trying to come up with an excuse all day. I just knew that five minutes after seeing Ben, he'd know that something was going on.

Callen and I had been having fun getting to know each other. I've been eating his incredible food, he's an amazing cook! He even offers to cook when I lose the race back home, which I honestly don't mind because I only have a few signature dishes and they would never be as high quality as his. I love how his face lights up when he sees me. I can only imagine what my face looks like when he walks through the door at night. It's hard to believe that we moved in almost a week ago.

"Why can't you just admit it?" I heard Elly ask, interrupting my thoughts and I realized that I had a goofy smile on my face. I tried raising my eyebrows to give her a stern look, but knew that it was failing. I blamed it on the smile.

"It's complicated," I said, somewhat disappointedly and our eyes both widened, only Elly's were accompanied by a little squeal while I clamped my hand over my mouth. I felt my cheeks blush as she shrieked, "I knew it!"

"Shh," I said, giving her a gentle nudge. She beamed at me and I rolled my eyes, trying to hide my giddy smile. I didn't know if it was love, but it was something. Letting out a soft sigh, I said "It is complicated though, so don't go telling anyone."

"How is it complicated?" Elly asked, her face scrunched in confusion. I put my arm around her as I shrugged, "I don't know. We're roommates, we're dating other people, and it just is. Besides, I shouldn't be talking about this with you anyway."

"Why not?" Elly scoffed with a smile that reminded me of one of Callen's. I looked at her and laughed, "Because you're only thirteen!"

Elly shrugged and tilted her head to the side as she looked at me. She was studying my face and I gave her a strange look when she smiled softly at me. I asked "What?"

She shook her head slightly as she looked away, her mouth stretched wide with a smile. I gently nudged her with my shoulder. I got up, dusted myself off and said, "Okay, it's time to go in and get cleaned up for lunch."

Elly picked up the blanket we were sitting on and shook the sand off of it before folding it up. I dusted off Mara and Jace, knowing that they would have to take a bath before their afternoon nap. I lifted Jace on my hip while Elly took Mara's hand and we walked up to the house.

I was surprised when I saw Callen's jeep sitting in the driveway and I glanced over at Elly who snorted out a laugh. I shot her a warning look, which was hard to do because of the huge smile on my face. She pretended to zip her mouth shut as she giggled and I sighed, shaking my head.

Callen swung the door open as soon as we stepped onto the porch and his face brightened when he saw me. Mara ran to him and tackled his knees. He swooped her up and I cringed, "No!" He gave me a strange look and I quickly said, "She's got wet sand all over her."

"We were down at the lake." Mara said as Callen put her down and I reached out, touching the wet, sandy spot on his dress shirt. His body tensed slightly under my touch and our eyes met instantly. Elly nudged us into each other and I swear that I could hear her silent laugh as she went into the house. Jace reached out for Callen. As he picked Jace up I cringed again as he got the other side of his shirt dirty.

"There, now I match," Callen chuckled slightly, kissing me on the cheek as he turned to go inside. I shook my head, rolling my eyes at him and tried to ignore the butterflies that were set loose by his simple kiss. He linked his pinky around mine as we walked through the house to the kitchen and I let go of his hand as we walked in, noticing Elly's curious eyes. I smiled softly at her and looked over at Callen, asking, "What are you doing here?"

He gave a casual shrug as he said, "I thought that I would have lunch today with my four favorite people."

The younger kids squealed in delight and Elly let out a short giggle as he kissed each of them on the cheek. When he walked back to me, he grabbed my waist and pulled me to him as he kissed me on the forehead, lingering slightly. I breathed in his scent, closing my eyes before he stepped away and gave me a soft smile as he murmured, "You are my most favorite of all, but don't tell them that."

I smiled warmly at him as he stepped away.  I looked over at Elly, who was wearing a wide, toothy smile. I couldn't hide my grin as I turned to get lunch ready.

Once lunch was done, I volunteered to help Elly clean up while Mollie went to give Mara and Jace a bath. I smiled after her as she walked down the hall holding Mara's hand and carrying Jace. My eyes were torn away when I heard Elly snickering at me and I gave her a curious look as I asked, "What?"

"You love her," she said in a singsong voice and I grinned at her before shaking my head. I knew that explaining anything to Elly would be pointless since she was a young teenage girl and it wouldn't matter what I said. Sure, I had feelings for Mollie, but love her? I wasn't so sure. I did have that one drunken confession that I vaguely remembered, but I was drunk so that didn't count, right?

I had enjoyed the last couple of days with her. I was beginning to love the idea of coming home to her, cooking for her, and hanging out either watching TV or just talking. I had never talked with a girl that much about anything, never really opened up to anyone. I told her more about myself than even Sophie knew and I had known her a long time. Then again, Sophie and I didn't exactly talk when we were together and even now, our phone calls were mostly about what she was doing in Australia.

Elly looked at me accusingly and I said, "Look it's a little more complicated than your brain can handle."

"That's what she said," Elly piped back. I shot her a curious look as I asked, "What do you mean?"

Elly shrugged her slender shoulders as she smiled, "I was talking about you and her earlier and she said that it was complicated."

"What do you mean?" I asked again and Elly let out an exasperated sigh. Clearly she thought that I should have caught on by now. I gave her a blank look to show that I hadn't, so she rolled her eyes at me and explained slowly, "She told me that it was complicated."

"What is complicated?" I asked. Mollie had feelings for me, too? Elly laughed as she shook her head and said, "I'm not supposed to talk about it. I sort of promised."

"Sort of?" I asked, nudging her and said, "Come on, El, help a guy out."

Her eyes widened as she laughed, "I'm trying to, but you aren't listening to what I'm saying! You just need to use your brain and think."

I shook my head, laughing softly and Mara crashed into me, wrapping her arms around my legs. I picked her up, nudging my nose into her freshly washed cheek and kissed her. Setting her down, she said, "Mollie said that I could come down here for a little bit while she got Jace to sleep."

I turned to Elly with my eyebrows raised, asking an unspoken question. She laughed as she took Mara's hand and said, "Come on Mara, let's go see what we can find on Disney."

I grabbed her head, kissing the top of it as she went by. Sometimes my niece is a lot more grown-up than I realized. She motioned up the staircase as she passed by it and mouthed, "Get up there!"

I laughed softly as I skipped up the steps and quietly made my way down the hall, pausing outside of Jace's room. I was about to go in, when I heard a beautiful voice singing from within the room. I leaned against the wall as she sang sweetly to Jace. My heart fluttered as I closed my eyes, imagining that she was singing to me. I even sang along quietly with her, letting our voices mingle in harmony. It was really lame, I know.

I heard her voice stop and knew that Jace must have fallen asleep. I opened the door slightly, watching her lay him in his bed and start to back away slowly. She turned towards the door and I backed away, knowing that when she saw me she would freak out. As quietly as I could, I quickly dashed into the bathroom across the hall and pretended that I was using it. I came out when she stepped into the hallway and she smiled softly at me.

"Hey," I whispered, gripping my hands onto her waist, pulling her close to me. Her hands rested on my arms as we looked into each other's eyes. I slowly moved my hands to her back and hugged her closer to me. I knew that I couldn't put it off any longer, so I let out a deep sigh, closing my eyes so that she couldn't see the disappointment when she said no, as I asked, "Mollie, can I kiss you?"

"Yes," she whispered softly—so softly that I wasn't sure that I heard her at first. My eyes flew open and she was looking at me expectantly. My heart thumped against my chest as I wove my hands into her hair, gently pushing her lips to mine. I paused before contact was made and looked into her eyes as I said, "You do know that we can never go back if we do this, right?"

She nodded and I looked into her eyes to make sure this what was she wanted. I saw a mixture of impatience and wonder, but no sign of regret. I smiled at her before gently cupping her face with my free hand and softly touching my lips to hers. The brief encounter shot fire through my body and instantly I wanted more.

Suddenly, I didn't care that we weren't single, I didn't care that we were making out in my sister's hallway. All I cared about was kissing her again and again. Her arms slid around my neck, her fingers ran through my hair as the kisses deepened and I could feel her arching into me as I ran a hand down her spine, pulling her impossibly close to me.

The kiss was all I ever dreamed it would be and more. I knew that now I could never stop. Her soft lips fit perfectly in mine, her tongue was sweet honey in my mouth, her body molded against mine like it was supposed to be there. I wanted to kiss her everywhere. I moved my mouth off her lips as I kissed down her jaw line to her neck, finding that sweet spot that caused her to let out a beautiful soft moan that drove me crazy.

"Do that again," I murmured against her soft skin, pleading. She responded with another one as I licked my tongue along her earlobe and I closed my eyes, as I savored the sound. I blew softly in her earlobe, whispering, "Oh Mollie, you have no idea what you do to me. How long I've wanted to just do this and this and this."

I kissed her in different spots, each time hearing that amazing sound of her breathy moans. I kissed her mouth again, smiling when she opened up eagerly. I felt her hands slide to my chest as she gently pushed back, our breath panting in sync. She leaned her forehead against my chest as I kissed the top of her head. I wondered what she was thinking, so I tilted her head up so I could look in her eyes.