To Love a Cop (34 page)

Laura heard her jaw crack as her mouth opened in shock. “He’d set it up so the fire would leap to the stairs and trap them.”

“That’s what he did.”

“Oh, dear God.”

“That says it all.”

“And you feel bad because you shot him?”

Ethan grunted. “See, here’s the thing. I got some really bad undertones. Austin hated his stepfather with a cold ferocity. If he wasn’t molested, he was sure as hell terrorized. I could see on the mother’s face that she knew why and had taken her husband’s side.”

“Oh,” Laura said softly.

“Doesn’t excuse what he did. But...” He shook his head, stared at the ceiling and talked. Talked until he was hoarse. About the expression on the boy’s face as Ethan worked frantically to stop the bleeding. About the other time he’d shot to kill, what it was like looking into someone’s eyes when death arrived.

She hugged him and she stroked him and she thought he couldn’t have given her a greater gift, odd though this one was. And she knew.

I love this man.

He loves me.

Too soon for the words, maybe.
But...I hardly need them
, she thought, dazed.

And eventually they did make love for the second time that night, emotion shimmering between them. His fingertips spoke as they traveled from one pleasure point to another. She conveyed everything in her heart with her lips. And their bodies, once joined, moved with a harmony that transcended any words.

I mean what I say
, he’d told Jake today, and she’d seen awed acceptance on her son’s face.

When Ethan made love like this, he meant that, too.

Afterward, holding him, the swell of love she felt was both painful and liberating.
Tomorrow
, she thought,
I’ll call Mama
.
I can forgive even myself.

“Hungry yet?” she murmured, and Ethan’s body shook with laughter.

“Yeah. Damn it, I am.”

As they reluctantly parted, she sighed. “I suppose we ought to put some clothes on.”

“Oh, come on. The nosy old guy across the street has to be asleep by now.”

“Don’t bet on it,” she said darkly, and Ethan laughed again, bent and found something he tossed to her. His shirt.

So that was what she wore when they raided the refrigerator. He’d put on his jeans, but his chest remained bare, as did her legs. The thought crossed her mind that in theory she was supposed to get up in...seven hours to go to work, but, hey, when was the last time she’d taken a personal day?

Between one bite and the next, Ethan looked at her. “I’m not going to want to go to bed tomorrow night without you.”

“No.”

He gave a small nod as if satisfied, seeing she’d understood. They needed to build trust, but...maybe it wouldn’t take all that long.

Oh, she hoped not.

EPILOGUE

D
ÉJÀ VU,
L
AURA THOUGHT,
standing on the sidewalk in front of Tino Vennetti’s house. The only difference from the last time she’d been there was that Jake was with her and Ethan this time, too. Jake didn’t actually seem any more eager than she was to move. Ethan played much the same role he had that day long ago. With a reassuring hand on each of their shoulders, he waited patiently for them to be ready for what awaited.

Jake and Tino’s oldest, Nick, had been cautiously working their way toward something approaching friendship. He’d come over to Laura and Jake’s house a couple of times to shoot baskets out front. Even though she’d known what to expect, the sight of a boy who looked so much like her own son had blown her away. She’d had the heart-clenching thought that Marco would have looked like them, too, had he lived.

Today, she and Jake had agreed to come to Sunday dinner at Tino’s house. Palma and Bruno Vennetti—aka Mama and Papa—were to be there, as well, although they were spared a get-together with the entire family. Laura wasn’t quite ready for that.

Truthfully, she didn’t feel prepared for even this. Being nice to Mama and Papa...it boggled the mind, but she was grimly determined. Jake...well, she wasn’t 100 percent sure what Jake felt about this meeting, except that he’d agreed to it.

Her one proviso had been the addition of Ethan to the guest list.

My
fiancé
, she’d said, loving the sound of the word. He’d asked her to marry him Labor Day weekend, on a trip to the Columbia Gorge to windsurf. In the know, Jake had made himself scarce when Ethan and she strolled to a cliff top above the broad, powerful Columbia River as the sun was setting. Taking her completely by surprise, he’d held her hand and actually gone down on one knee to pop the question.

The wedding was going to be simple, and soon. No later than the middle of October, they’d agreed. Ethan was already moving his stuff into her house and living with her and Jake.

The upcoming wedding—this was the middle of September already—was one of the reasons she’d accepted this invitation. Her relationship with the Vennetti family felt unresolved, and with the issue of whether she could forgive them tied up with her need to forgive herself, she’d decided it was time.

The curtain behind the front window twitched.

“Mom?” Jake sounded nervous verging on panic.

From somewhere, she found a smile. “Let’s do it.”

“Do we
have
to?”

Her smile became more natural. “Come on, what’s the worst thing that can happen?”

“Uncle Tino can punch you. And then Ethan would punch
him
.”

Ethan chuckled. “I think we’re past the stage where punches are likely to be thrown. But your mom’s right. The worst that can happen is a little blood, maybe a broken tooth, a black eye or two...” He shrugged, grinning when she gave him a look.

“The worst is, your grandmother will say something nasty to me, I’ll say something even nastier back, and we’ll stomp out,” Laura said. “And if that happens, so what?”

Jake thought about it. “Yeah,” he decided. “So what?”

They marched up the walkway as a family. Halfway to the house, Laura saw the front door open. It was Tino who stepped out to greet them, his arm slung over Nick’s shoulder.

“Thank you for coming,” he said. “Nick’s been looking forward to this.”

Nick rolled his eyes in typical, adolescent boy fashion. Laura hid a grin.

“Thanks for inviting us,” she said, mounting the steps. “Tino, you haven’t officially met Ethan Winter.”

“Detective.” Tino held out a hand; the two men shook.

Shame on her, she liked the way Ethan dominated any other man physically. In this case...the thought was disconcerting because Tino was an older version of Matt. But she let the brief pang of guilt go. She was learning to be easier on herself.

Tino swept them inside. Jake stuck close to his mom and Ethan as they entered the living room, where an older couple rose from their seats on the sofa.

Both stared at Jake with a stunned intensity. Jake’s shoulder bumped hers as he edged closer yet. Laura wanted to say,
You could have watched him grow up
, but kept her mouth shut. She was oddly disturbed to see how much both had aged. More than they should have in the intervening six and a half years since she’d seen them, she thought. They’d become old. Maybe losing a son and a grandson did that to you.

“Palma.” She nodded. “Bruno. This is my son, Jake, and my fiancé, Detective Ethan Winter.”

Their gazes moved in unison to first her face, then Ethan’s.

“Mr. and Mrs. Vennetti,” he said in his easy way. “Make it Ethan, please.”

Jake squared his shoulders. “You’re my grandparents.”

“Yes,” Mama said. “Your cousins call us Grandmama and Grandpapa.”

He nodded but made no commitment. Laura was proud of the poise he was showing. He’d grown up a lot these past four or five months, since Ethan had corralled him at the gun show. He was still in counseling, but about a month ago he’d told her with much the same composure that she could throw away his collection of gun magazines. Then he’d grinned wickedly.

“I mean, recycle them.”

Now, Mama asked, “Will you sit with us? Tell us about yourself? What you like and don’t like?”

He politely agreed, but chose a chair that left some space between him and these strangers who wanted to pretend they hadn’t turned their backs on him, his father and his mother.

That’s not charitable
, Laura reminded herself. They’d been angry and grieving. Marco’s father, also their son, had needed them to stand for his loss.

Trusting that her surprisingly grown-up son could handle the situation, Laura took the scalloped potatoes she’d brought to the kitchen, glad when Ethan chose to stay with Jake. He’d be sure everything was okay before he left Jake on his own. Nick and Tino stayed behind, too, she noticed.

Tino’s wife, Renata, and she had become more comfortable with each other when they made arrangements for the two boys to get together. Even with none of the rest of the extended family there, the kitchen was noisy and chaotic. Tino and Renata had six children, most of whom seemed to be chasing each other through the house.

“What a crowd,” she exclaimed. “I don’t know how you do it.”

Renata laughed. “The big ones help with the little ones. Don’t tell Mama,” she lowered her voice, “but we think we’re done with our family. Enough is enough.”

Rebellion in the ranks. “Not a word,” Laura said with a smile. “Is there anything I can do to help with dinner?”

Renata accepted her offer, and along with the two oldest of her daughters worked to get dinner on the table.

“They’re beauties, Gianna and Maddalena,” Laura told her in a quiet moment, when they’d been left alone in the kitchen.

“Yes, I think they get that from Tino’s side. Me, I was never that pretty. But have you seen pictures of Mama when she was young?”

“I’d forgotten, but she was beautiful, wasn’t she?”

“Your Ethan, he’s a handsome man,” Renata added in an undertone, just as one of her daughters burst back into the kitchen with a question.

Eventually the whole family gathered at the long mahogany table in the dining room. Mama, of course, took pride of place at one end, while Tino, the man of the house, sat at the other. Laura saw the flicker of amusement in Ethan’s eyes as he took in the arrangement before politely holding Laura’s chair for her, then sitting beside her. He’d heard enough of her stories about Mama.

Mama grilled him as the serving dishes made the rounds, and then moved on to Laura, asking about her job and the wedding.

“And then there will be more grandchildren!” she declared.

The corner of Ethan’s mouth turned upward. He was watching Jake, who now looked hideously embarrassed. Not like he didn’t know Ethan and his mom shared a bed and probably did “stuff,” but the idea of his mother swelling with pregnancy still horrified him.

A reaction he was going to have to get over, because she and Ethan had agreed to work on the getting pregnant thing as soon as the wedding was over. She didn’t want to be changing diapers when she sent her oldest off to college.

“Maybe,” she said now, realizing Mama’s commanding stare was turned her way.

After that, dinner passed pleasantly enough. Laura began to think they might get away without her having any kind of confrontation with Mama.

But, no.

With dessert over, Laura stood automatically with Renata to start clearing the table, but Mama rose, too, and seized her arm. “Laura, you and I need to talk. Renata has her girls for this.”

No surprise, the boys weren’t expected to help in the kitchen any more than the girls would be asked to mow the lawn or rake the leaves that had fallen from the big maple in the back yard.

Ethan grimaced with sympathy, but stayed behind when Laura let herself be steered into the living room.

“Your Jacob, he seems to be a fine boy,” Mama said, sitting and gesturing Laura to do the same.

No thanks to you.
More words Laura choked back.

“Yes.”

“And he likes Ethan?”

“Very much. Ethan has been good for him.”

Mama inclined her head, crowned with dark braids streaked with gray. “A boy needs a father.”

“He’s...struggled without Matt.”

“It was wrong of us, what we did.” Brown eyes darkened with unmistakable pain met Laura’s. And then she said something Laura had never expected. “I understand if you can’t forgive us for what we did. I know what I said to you, but I have not forgiven myself. I’m grateful you let us see our grandson. Our Matteo’s boy.” Her face contorted.

In that moment, Laura found in her heart the ability to take the first step to letting go of her bitterness.

“I can.” She had to swallow. “I was angry at Matt, too. So angry. Now I wish... I wish...” And suddenly tears blurred her vision.

“That Matteo knew you had let the anger go?” Mama’s voice was unwontedly soft. “I believe he does. I believe God forgives, too.”

Laura wiped her cheeks. “I hope you’re right.”

A silence while they studied each other felt almost comfortable. It was Mama who broke it.

“The two boys, they look like brothers.”

“Yes.” Laura managed a smile. “Jake takes after his father.”

“He is a Vennetti.”

“Yes.” Laura had a sudden, vivid picture of Matt, hoisting his young son into the air, grinning with joy and pride, and she said again, “Yes. He’s definitely a Vennetti.”

Ethan came looking for her shortly thereafter, his expression questioning, and then relaxing as he seemed to find what he sought in her face.

“Time to go?” he murmured, and she nodded.

But when she called Jake, he appeared with Nick at his side.

“Can I stay here tonight?” he begged. “Aunt Renata says you can pick me up after work tomorrow. So I don’t have to go to Aunt Jenn’s.”

Tino smiled and nodded.

What could she say? “Well...I suppose so. Do you need me to come back with your toothbrush and pajamas? Oh, and clean clothes for tomorrow?”

“I can throw what he’s wearing in the washer,” Renata offered, appearing beside her husband. “And we have extra toothbrushes.”