To Kill the Duke (27 page)

I wish I had a camera, because no one is going to believe this
Powell thought as he loosened the deputy’s collar and ran into the store.

“That was fast, Mr. Powell,” the shopkeeper said. “I’ll ring the operator to connect you. I can’t believe you’re here already.”

Maybe this guy is into being on time, too,
Powell thought.
Then again, this being Podunk, maybe his definition of ‘fast’ wouldn’t be so ‘fast.’
After all, he had already stopped for a piss and dealt with the deputy, which had to have taken more than a few minutes. He knew he had driven fast, but not
that
fast.

“I’m telling you Mr. Powell, it was mighty fast the way the deputy left here to fetch you,” the shopkeeper said.

Dick Powell rolled his eyes. “Right. Listen, that deputy fainted a few miles back and I think he hit his head when he fainted. He’s outside now. Can you get me a cold compress?”

“What’s a compress?” asked the shopkeeper.

“A wet towel… any wet piece of cloth… a clean, wet rag,” Powell explained.

“Gotcha,” said the shop keeper as he retreated into the back of the store and quickly came back with a towel.

“It’s not wet,” remarked Dick.

The shopkeeper stared blankly.

“If it’s not wet, it won’t be of any use. I need this towel to be cold and wet,” Powell said sternly.

The shopkeeper left the room and came back with a bucket of cold water. Dick Powell shook his head and dipped the towel into the bucket.

“Now I get it. A cold compress is a wet towel!” the shopkeeper yelled out, finally grasping the obvious.

“I’m going to help the young man.” Powell told the shopkeeper. “When I come back in, make that call to the operator for me to be connected,” Powell added, now knowing what and where Podunk was.

“Don’t you think he needs a doctor, Mr. Powell?” the shopkeeper asked him.

“No. I played a doctor once. He’s okay,” Powell said. “I did a lot of research with real doctors for the role, and I feel like I know if someone is okay after fainting.”

“Anything you say, sir,” said the shopkeeper, who had met Dick Powell a few months ago, when Dick was scouting out the place in order to win over all the locals. The shopkeeper was Dick Powell’s first new best friend and was profiting handsomely from the movie being shot close to his place of business. Therefore, if Dick Powell said the deputy was ‘okay,’ then that was fine with the shop keep.

Dick went back outside and found the moaning…albeit softly… deputy.

“I’m going to cool you down,” Dick said to the deputy as he wiped the boy’s brow.

The deputy stopped moaning. “That feels great, sir.”

“He played a doctor once,” the shopkeeper said to both Dick Powell and the deputy, as he had followed Dick out onto the driveway to witness firsthand what a ‘cold compress’ was used for.

Dick Powell rolled his eyes at the shopkeeper’s comment.

The deputy told them both to help him up, and so they did. They gingerly walked him into the store and sat him down.

“Thank you both so much,” the deputy said.

“Make the call,” Powell ordered the shopkeeper “and some coffee.”

“Could I get some water?” the deputy asked.

“And some water,” Powell barked out to the shopkeeper.

“What else do you make coffee with?” the shopkeeper barked back at Powell. “Deputy, just go out into the ‘cold compress’ bucket and dip in a cup if you want water. You would think this is a city with water fountains all around, the way these guys ask for things,” he muttered under his breath.

Dick Powell shook his head and searched for a cup to get some water for the deputy. He couldn’t find anything that wasn’t wrapped, packaged, bottled or in a box. The only item in a box that would hold water was a bed pan. Dick Powell opened up the box, took out the bed pan and went to the ‘cold compress’ bucket to fill it up.

The shopkeeper came out to inform Dick that it would be a few minutes before the operator could connect his call. The shopkeeper saw Dick filling up the bed pan and, figuring that Hollywood people were nuts, let it go. After all, he had never heard of a ‘cold compress’ before, had he?

Dick Powell gave the bed pan to the deputy who took a sip from it and splashed some of the water on his face.

“Thanks… I needed that,” the deputy said to Dick.

“No problem. Just relax and think nice thoughts. Remember, it could be worse,” Powell told him.

“Mr. Powell, the phone call is ready,” the shopkeeper yelled out, and Dick went to the phone wondering if he should tell John Wayne what type of chaos he had caused. He went to pick up the phone and saw that the
shopkeeper was getting him a cup of coffee. He took a sip of the coffee… and it was just awful.

At least it isn’t in a bedpan
he thought as he waited to hear the Duke’s voice.

The operator came on the line and told both parties that they were connected.

“Dick, it’s Duke. Do you think the operator is listening in?” John Wayne asked.

“Of course. Wouldn’t you?” Powell responded.

“Listen lady. This is a business call. No gossip about this call tonight goes anywhere or I will hunt you down,” a menacing Wayne said to whomever might be listening in.

“Is that a promise?” the operator asked John Wayne.

“She got you, Duke,” joked Powell.

“Then, I’ll make sure that you work for John Ford for the rest of your life,” Duke said meekly, knowing his earlier threat was pretty stupid. Even John Wayne knew that anyone in America would want to be hunted down by him.

“How’s tricks, Duke? Getting those lines down? Did the voice coach and tape recorder help you?” Powell asked his friend and fellow Hollywood star. “By the way, I haven’t seen the reimbursement for my plumbing bill.”

“Take it out of my pay. Boy, have you become cheap since you became a producer and director!” Duke pointed out.

“I will do that, and I am not cheap. Just wait until you hang up the acting clothes and put on producer clothes. So, you have been doing work with the dialect coach?” Powell said.

“Yes,” Wayne lied. The Duke had no intention of using a dialect coach. If he damaged the lines the way they were written, so be it. John Wayne knew he could pull off playing Genghis Khan, because
he
was John Wayne. He would give his usual 200% of professional effort when the camera was rolling. That alone would, and did, get him through any role that wasn’t tailor made for him. And, after the camera stopped, he couldn’t wait to
be John Wayne off the set and have a good time with everyone involved in making the picture.

Dick Powell knew most of this. He knew Wayne was a pro when it came to making movies and would do his best to deliver the lines like Genghis Khan. Unfortunately, Powell also knew that Genghis was going to sound like the Duke would, in a western or a World War II movie. But Powell had the biggest movie star in the world on board, and like John Wayne, he believed that that alone would more than make up for authenticity. And if Oscar Millard bitched… there were a lot more unemployed writers in the world than unemployed actors.

“When are you going to arrive?” Powell asked Wayne.

“Just as soon as you tell me who my leading lady is going to be,” Duke said, “and I have had more time to work on my dialect.”

“That’s the reason for the call at this hour? Well, who have you heard?” Powell asked. After all, he was in
Podunk
.

“Way too many names,” responded Wayne. “I want someone who can hold her own with me. Someone I have worked with before would be great.”

“Want to guess?” Powell said.

“Sure. I like this game,” replied Wayne. “Marlene?”

“She makes
you
sound authentic as a Tartar,” Powell said sarcastically. “Cold Duke. Very cold.”

“Okay. Anne Rutherford?” an enthused Duke guessed.

“Andy Hardy’s girlfriend! Have you been drinking all day and night on Ford’s boat again? Even colder John. Now I get this game. It’s one of your practical jokes and the gang is listening in on one of those squawk boxes. How much did you bet them about getting me to the phone from my trailer?” Powell said sternly, pissed that he had fallen victim to one of Wayne’s practical jokes.

“A trailer? What happened to the Enchanted Cottages?” Duke suddenly asked Powell.

Powell sighed with some relief; maybe it was a sincere call from Duke and so he answered the questions. “Believe it or not, about ten days before we were supposed to start up here, my secretary Miss Burchett gets a call from the Department of the Army. They had
bought the entire complex of cottages and our reservations didn’t exist anymore.”

“The Army? What would the army want with some cottages? Can’t they just build some?” Duke asked.

“Howard told me that they needed the cottages for some bombing experiment,” Dick said.

“Howard would know. Guess war games have gotten even more authentic. “How about Claire Trevor?” guessed Duke.

“I love Claire. But you have already done three films with her. Besides, she has played too many drunks, and Tartar princesses don’t drink,” Powell said sarcastically while he was thinking that
Hughes would never go for Claire Trevor and her average cleavage.
But Powell knew that Claire Trevor could play the part of a Mongrel princess… heck Claire Trevor could play any part that was ever written.

“She was great in every role she ever did. She and I get along great. We would be a perfect team,” Duke pleaded.

“I get it Duke. We can tell everyone that this movie is a forerunner of
Stagecoach.
That Genghis and The Ringo Kid are long lost relatives!” Powell yelled out.

“You’re being sarcastic, Dick,” Duke said.

“And you’re not guessing real well. Try again.”

“I’ll floor you with this one, Dick,” Duke announced. “Paulette Goddard!”

“She would be excellent,” Powell replied
and has the body that Hughes craves
he thought. “But Duke, I don’t think she acts anymore. I haven’t seen her around Hollywood in years.”

“I think she’s in Europe. She was a pretty sharp businesswoman. I think Chaplin gave her a ton of dough when they divorced. But think of this as a comeback role for her,” Duke pleaded.

“I don’t think that the House Un-American Committee would like Charlie Chaplin’s ex-wife on our set,” Powell said.

“Chaplin and Goddard divorced years ago. Besides that, when did we ever see the name Charles Chaplin associated with the Reds? Hoover hates Chaplin, because Chaplin was a big hit with all the women, not because he might be sympathetic to the Reds. I mean if all men in Hollywood
were held to the same standards as Chaplin and his conquests… Hoover wouldn’t be going to many movies,” Wayne said.

“Thanks for the lecture, Duke. But as good looking and as good an actress as Paulette is… she isn’t your co-star. Guess again.”

“I got you now Dick. How could I have not thought about her before? Donna Reed!” Duke yelled.

“Cold my friend. Very cold,” Powell replied but thought
another body that Howard would have approved of.

“Aw come on, Dick. She’s perfect,” Duke said.

“You should be a producer with the way you pick leading ladies,” Powell began “but Duke… she quit the big screen for the small screen.”

“That’s right!” cried out John Wayne. “She’s going to be dynamite on television. I wonder why she decided that?” mused Wayne.

“No dealing with your practical jokes. Complete control over everything. No on-site filming. Home for dinner. Didn’t she just have a kid?” Powell asked.

“Come to think of it… I think she adopted one and is due to have her own,” Wayne said.

“Oh that would be great, her being pregnant and riding all over these mountains,” Powell added.

“You’re being sarcastic again,” Duke said.

“Until I get my money from that plumbing bill, I’m going to be very sarcastic and you need to guess again,” Powell said as he sipped some coffee.

“Hey Dick, do you think that television will put us out of business?” Duke suddenly asked his friend, hoping to take his mind off deducting the plumber’s bill from his salary.

“Nope. They will do nothing but complement one another. I’m thinking of doing some shows myself after this movie is through. You ought to look into it yourself. Lots of money available for a big star like you,” Powell said.