To John

To
John

By Kim Itae

Published by Kim Itae
at Smashwords

©
Kim Itae, 2015

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To John

November 2014

22 Nov 2014

"John, it was great last night.
The last five minutes was great."

"John, I can still help you but my
body is changing."

"Not sure. Meet you tomorrow at
ten as usual."

"The channel is the same but the
volume is slightly different as Mario is being so slagged off."

John started his usual Saturday
job, checking the fund, filling up the logs of the whole week. He
thought tomorrow I would do the transfer shit. He will see his
girlfriend and sleep with her as usual. Kate is a sort of a girl,
approaching late twenties, being with him since the university. She
is waiting for a marriage. She is tall and beautiful. But it must
be her mum's back ground, working as a stewardess, climbing up the
social whore ladder. He did not mind at all but Kate is insecure
and did have Botox the other day. John thought maybe tomorrow will
be the last night with Kate. I am not a baby sitter. Why do I have
to care about her weakness and her vulnerability? 50 or 60 more
years to live. More to spend. More to waste. More to kill. More to
enjoy. I am not thirty yet.

He started vacuuming his flat.
Little but fancy. He likes his ivory carpet, which is a bit old
fashioned. He likes the suction. But he could not erase the
thinking of Anna. The woman who sent him those four texts. Unusual
for Anna.

She said once.

"This is my little game. Once I
wake up properly, I might not play any more."

He asked.

"Do you know how much you
deal?"

She said,

"I said this is my game. I created
it. I know how much you deal. let us say 3 trillion a day?"

John took her as a nuts case, but
he followed her becuase her signals made him a fortune. And that's
how he could think of ditching Kate out of his life. Her farther's
little fortune looks too little now. They made him sick. Little
bunch of little things. He lives in a different world. But like the
vacuum cleaner, he is trembling. He does not know how long it would
last.

23 Nov 2014

"I am stuck in the chocolate."

"As usual, tonight. 4-5min. The
ususal high jack. Do not fiddle. 80-90 drop. Just clear out your
mess as much as possible, Anna. My brother will join tonight."

John dropped tears as he was
sweeping his kitchen floor. Anger, relief and excitement. Long,
good bath is what he needs this afternoon until the skin of his
fingers are all swollen. He needs a good soak. Then he will collect
his boys, saying tigers are coming tonight. Meaning: you have to be
really fast otherwise, they will eat you alive. If you are fast
enough, you can join the meal with them. Very bloody and juicy. He
remembered the last Friday night. The last 5 minutes before the
market is closed. The raw and fierce wave. It made him scared but
he was sucked into it. More than surfing. He was moving without
noticing. When he noticed something, everything was over. He could
not think of how much he made but his whole body was buzzing with
fear and sweat. He liked it. He liked it so much.

"Never do the pre-order. You don't
know which way, do you? I mean, when it starts."

24 Nov 2014

"Tigers do not sleep at night? Ho
ho... just time difference, is not it? By the way, you made it last
night. You did not hang around all night, right? My brother joined
last night because he got really upset. His girlfriend had an
abortion without asking him."

Kate said she got pregnant. John
knew that it is not his. Possibly his brother's. He said he would
support her in either way but he will not be the child's father.
Full stop. He has a full week ahead.

"Kami Kase time, don't you think?
For the next four hours or so. It is a wind. You don't know when it
blows. But when it blows, it blows. I learned from Tokyo. It was a
prison. They made it clear from the start. If you survive, you will
be very rich. It was a prison. Very cold... Anyway we will see what
Brit Boosters can do. There might be some Petro Bros later. You
might need a seatbelt today. Do you like roller coasting? No sex
during lunch break, darling. Turn on the second signal. 30m."

25 Nov 2015

"Morning, morning ^_^:"

"Did you brush your teeth
throughly? Do not goggle. Brush them until you can see their
nerves."

"Get a new mobile. One side texts
only. Get the sim at the usual place. Hassan will be there ready
for you. Send my best regards to him."

"Play with Tom today. Less fun but
way more steadier. 8 hr straight."

"But John, is this your bank
holiday?"

"Sorry, I just woke up and my
husband slept at someone else's house."

John was in the middle of work. He
got his new mobile and put the sim from Hassan. The shop was just
next to Scotland Yards. Funny. He thought. They were selling very
nice bags too. Funny shop. Anyway, he wanted to ask Ana that by any
chance, her husband name is Guillermo. He thought it's unlikely Ana
is using her real name. But just in case, he wanted ask. One sided
texts shits. She might be right. Hyenas are coming next week from
America. Prosecutors, what they are called. What they want is a
piece of cake. A handsome bribe. If you don't feed them properly,
they will eat you. Ana said she cleaned their toilets. She said
"Flush, darling. Flush."

"Chicago bulls might join within
an hour or so. Not very happy with Ferguson. They like quiet
environment, you see. And we will see whether they are bulls or
bollocks"

"Never mind. They usually started
as if they have orchitis. Just testing a few shots."

It was not funny joke to John. He
had a testicular cancer. Unfortunately he had an unnecessay
operation too. He can not be a biological father. He has no feeling
about kids. Neither like nor dislike. He might miss some very later
in his life, he guessed.

He missed his subway station. He
was playing Candy. He was listening to a ABBA song "One of Us". He
did not mind that his friends made fun of him as being a old
fashioned. He was playing the game. He did not want to watch other
sweaty people at the time of the day. He was playing the simple,
mindless game. It was a Sudden. He remembered the exact pattern of
candies. Like dejavue, he remembered. He remembered the next one.
He remembered his finger movement. He was guided by these memories.
He got shocked. He had to ask Ana whether she has this too with the
trading. Is this how she knows the next move? He had to think. He
was still in shock. What is this? Who am I? What is this? Where
does this come from? What are these memories?

"As soon as you start thinking,
you make a mistake."

Who said that? J Button? Or some
professional pianist? Anyway, similar to that. You following
something without thinking. And he remembered he used to do it. Not
new. When he is really fascinated or concentrated. He just do it.
He did not bother thinking. When his whole body is moving, thinking
has no place to get in as it is too slow.

26 Nov 2014

"My husband's female collegue
gives him morning call. What do you think?"

John started using facebook
chatroom.

"My girlfriend is having my
brother's child. What do you think?"

"Are you the eldest?"

"Yes?"

"You look after your family."

"You came from a different
world."

"Yes, I did."

+++++++++++

"You cannot lose today. As you
lost too much. Nature."

John is still thinking about the 4
month embryo in Kate. Shit. His brother, Tony is already engaged. A
poor aristocrat, well educated and cheerful.

"You will see some bloody pus from
Ferguson as this is the second round. Means old, deep rooted."

The second round.

"I will dig out her eyeballs today
around lunch time."

John bought a sandwich as he
cannot go out for lunch. From Subway. He carefully select his
ingredients. He felt better. He felt like a secondary student
again. He also bought some liquor chocolate for releasing the chest
pressure. Whatelse? Lemsip, paracetamol. Anything else? Gums and
Ibuprofen for his right wrist. He thought he is playing the bloody
rugby again. He went to A&E 4 times and quit. But thanks to all
that mud and sweat, he can do 14 hour non stop trading with 5 min
breaks without breaking down of nerves or back. He got used to all
sorts of pain. As far as they are moving, it is ok. At least his
bone is not broken. He saw one of his collegues having a heart
attack. Actually one died of epileptic brain overcharge. That one
did not or could not sleep for 48 hours. 22. Very young.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Hold your bollocks."

John physically hold his bollocks.
Well. Better than holding your tits.

"Punto Dos."

"Take some lemsip if you are
unfamiliar to angina pectoris."

"Press just under the pisiform in
case."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Fed’s rate rise delay..."

"I changed my mind. We will play
menage a trois this afternoon. Not interested in her eyeballs
anymore."

"As now the media calls it as
Fed's pretend game."

"You what? Nobody taught you how
to prevent immature ejeculation? Or even finishing it without
ejeculation? Ha ha... That's the longivity secret in China."

"Shall we go to Fez club tonight?
I might bring some old Aussies with me."

"Do not forget the dress code.
Exclusive members only. Remember?"

"We can pop in Don Pasquale to
have some nice tortellini before hitting the club. What do you
think?"

It was an order rather than a
suggestion. John got another sandwich and two bottles of Red Bulls.
Anyway he has been waiting for a night like tonight for more than a
year. One year and three months. He thought he will think about the
reality tomorrow. Tonight. He started sending out alerts and
setting up networks which, he thought, Ana is doing right now.
Aussies... He had rather a bitter experience with them. But it does
not matter. One night stand.

"Be patient with my friends. They
are just thoughtful."

"Some yanks are already stiffing
around. It's ok."

"No tortellini tonight. Straight
to the club."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"John, it is fucking too tiring to
dance with those fat asses. Shall we pack? Cheers."

27 Nov 2014

"Briefing: 10yr 2.24, BOE IR
good"

"Buenos Dias. Sailing with a bit
of hangover, no?"

"Make your gut happy. See you
around a la dos."

"Landing time, my little batman.
Remember the song?"

"Sorry, John. Not you. I just
thought of my brother. Discard it."

"What a mess I am."

John went to the chatroom. He felt
like a shit too.

"Ana, do you want a chat?"

"I have to cook fish katsu
tonight."

He grinned. Usual temperature
180c. 5-6min.

"Do not give them anything. They
cannot find anything. Starve them. They will die eventually. They
are not strong enough to survive more than three months. Just let
them visit you. No interaction. No more expense for them."

28 Nov 2014

"US oil shale company test
negative. Price 10% drop. KP line rejected. USD was rejected as
payment by Saudi Arabia 10 yrs ago..."

"Indeed a black fri-day on your
chart."

"I will put some Corianda into our
Lasagne today."

"Of course, I will put Mozaralla
on top."

"I went to a supermarket and
bought some basil instead of corianda. Hope you do not mind."

"By the way, I did not know Black
Friday is an American thingi. Good for them."

"I will cook a bit early
today."

John had to cancel his night with
his some of his friends in a pub.

"Do you like a mud bath? Try one
tonight."

"I have pathological hatred of
Yankees."

"That's partly why I am helping
you."

"The enemy of my enemy is my
friend."

"Then again, if you do not help
yourself, how can I help you? Do you want another sterling crash
like in 2008? If you think something is ok, it will not be ok.
Basically in 2008, you got the shit from US directly. Henry Fischer
directed it. This time, Israel is out as US back stabbed it with
African funds. But fiddling with the interest rate is not good. Now
I understand why Scotland wanted to become independent."