To Hell and Back (17 page)

My voice barely works and I choke back at her, “Anything.” I mean it. I don’t think there is a damn thing she could ask for right now that I wouldn’t give her.

Shyly, she sits up and asks me to switch positions with her. I take her place and she looks down from above, biting that fucking lip at me. Whoever taught these women that trick should be spanked and thanked at the same time.  She kisses my lips softly before trailing kisses down my torso to the throbbing erection beneath my boxers.  “Take ‘em off,” she demands.  I’m not sure I’ve ever moved so fast in my life.  Whatever she’s planning, every part of my body wants in.

I close my eyes and wait for the incredible sensation of her lips around my cock.  When it doesn’t happen, I open them again and she proves her ability to surprise the hell out of me with her next move.  Turning around, she moves over me, straddling my chest. I can feel her breath on the skin of my shaft and her clit is just inches from my face.

I draw in a deep breath as her hand runs up and down the length of me and she takes the swollen head into her mouth.  Grasping her hips, I join in by thrusting my tongue deep within her.  Her head lifts at the sensation, back arching, and it takes her a second to get control and come back down to find me.  The long, slow pulls on my cock spur me on and it becomes a furious competition of oral skills

If there is one thing I have learned about my girl, she loves the feeling of being filled.  Her tightness makes it an easy goal to achieve.  I press two fingers inside of her, feeling for the soft sponge of her g-spot.  I can feel her moaning her way up and down, the vibrations intensifying the pleasure she gives me.  Slowly, firmly, I press a third finger into her and suck directly on her clit.  It’s more than she can take and she pulls off me, her hand taking the place of her mouth as her muscles clamp down on my fingers and she rides out her orgasm on top of me. 

I am out from under her in seconds, leaving her on her hands and knees in front of me.  “Don’t you dare move,” I growl as I fumble to pull a condom from the shelf above the bed.  I’ve barely finished rolling it on when I pull her ass toward me and plunge into her hot depths from behind.  I reach around her and roll her clit between two fingers as I fuck her mercilessly.  This woman drives me completely mad and I can’t get close enough, get deep enough, to satisfy myself.  She consumes me and I love every second of it.

I can feel her begin to pulse around me and I know she’s close again.  Pressing my hand more firmly against her mound, I continue the intense, steady rhythm and it’s seconds before she comes apart against me.  I follow close behind her with a hoarse shout. Spots float in front of my eyes from the intensity of it all and we’re both breathing fast as we finally break apart. I lie on my side and pull her into my arms. “Fuck, Angel, if that is as close to Heaven as I ever get, I’ll take it.”

She smiles sleepily at me, worn out both from the long day and the intense lovemaking. “Me, too, Carson,” she yawns. “You’re not just Heaven, you’re my Home.”

I kiss her forehead and draw lazy circles on her back as she falls asleep in my arms.

Chapter Seventeen

Brielle

To be honest, today has been a real bitch and so has Madeline. There was a heavy shooting schedule today with scenes involving both she and Carson, and it will continue tomorrow. She hasn’t said a word to me directly in days, but she has an uncanny ability to make me feel insecure and uncomfortable with a glance.

Even between scenes, she cozies up to Carson as though she has some claim on him. I have to keep telling myself that he’s just trying to be professional, but sometimes I wish he would tell her to keep her hands off him unless the cameras are rolling. Last night was one of the most incredible, amazing nights of my life and it just kills me to watch another woman touching the man who was responsible for it all.

Adam and Kate stressed over rewrites all day and Tom was even starting to pull his hair out.  He had to reshoot the same scene six times because Madeline “just didn’t feel that her lines were true to her character.”  Puh-lease.  I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Carson has to kiss and touch her in the one scene she wants played on repeat.

The stress of today finally started to melt away, though, as Daisy and Sara got their long-awaited chance to work their magic on me.  Daisy created sexy beach waves in my hair and Sara transformed me from my everyday self into some sort of flawless beauty.  I ran into Carson when I stopped in at the trailer to change my clothes.  The work of my two friends left him stunned and I’m hoping it will be enough to push any thoughts of Madeline right out of his head.

If I had any stress left after getting the star treatment, it’s gone right now.  I’m headed home from one of the best nights I have ever had.  Daisy and Sara both assured me there is nothing like a girls’ night out to really give you a chance to let loose and have a great time.  Although the original idea was Carson’s, the plan was all theirs.  The three of them have put a lot of effort into making me feel better after the drama with Madeline and they’ve really outdone themselves. 

The girls took me out to a really fun fondue place for dinner – we had a pot of the most delicious smelling broth in the center of our table and used it to cook all kinds of different foods – vegetables, steak, chicken, shrimp, and even lobster. I found out that for all its hype, lobster really isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, at least for me.  I loved the steak, but found the lobster a little sweet for my tastes. 

After dinner, we went to a dance club. Sara told me that one of a girl’s greatest pleasures is shaking her booty on the dance floor. Now, I took ballet when I was in elementary school, but that’s probably the last time I did more than bob my head to whatever was on the radio.  There was definitely no “booty-shaking” going on at Ms. Corey’s Petite Princess Ballet Studio. A grand plié was about as exciting as it got back then.

That being said, I was surprised at how much fun we had.   We definitely couldn’t hear each other talk, but that didn’t stop us from laughing so hard our sides ached.  I didn’t recognize a single song they played the whole night, but it didn’t matter.  All I had to do was keep moving and keep laughing.  The girls were really awesome about not making me feel like a child while I was out with them – they didn’t drink or anything, and instead of hitting the bar after the club, we went to a little hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant Sara recommended. They’re open late every night of the week, catering to the bar and club crowd. Since we were headed back relatively early, we had the place to ourselves. I ate three of the best tacos I have ever had in my life while we learned a few Spanish words from our waiter.

The smile is still on my face when Daisy pulls up outside the trailer to drop me off. I’m sweaty and my hair is a disaster, but I feel wonderful and I can’t wait to get in and see Carson. Judging by the look on his face when I headed out this evening, he loves my outfit. He mentioned something about wanting to be the one to take me out of it when I got back.

The girls pull away, waving furiously out the windows of the green late-model hybrid Daisy loves.  I wave back until they’re out of sight and I turn to head inside.  I open the door to the darkened trailer and feel for the light switch.  I can only see a sliver of light coming from the back of the trailer, where our bedroom and bathroom are; the pocket door is pulled almost all the way closed.  It registers as a little odd; I think we’ve closed that door only once since I’ve lived here.  I had a migraine one night and Carson had new lines to learn, so he closed the door sat in the dining area poring over the script while I slept.

Just as I feel the light switch beneath my palm, I freeze.  I hear a female giggle coming from the bedroom area and my entire body goes cold.  Instead of flipping the switch, I make my way closer to the small lighted area outside the door.  I can hear Carson’s voice, low and steady, and then another giggle, but I can’t make out what he’s saying. 

The trust I have in Carson is warring with my innate inability to trust anyone fully.  On one level, I know Carson loves me and that there must be more to this than meets the eye, but there are only so many reasons I can come up with that a man and a woman would be in a closed bedroom together. 

My breath catches when I hear a woman say, “We both know it’s always been us, Carson. She will never understand you, never understand your life. I know this life, I know you.”

I instantly know who owns that voice.  I should – I’ve listened to enough whining and bitching coming out of her mouth this week. 
Madeline.
  I was so sure Carson wasn’t into her, so sure he was honest about his lack of feelings for her.  Last night erased any doubts I might have had left.  But now, standing here, I just can’t wrap my head around this.  What is she doing here? 

I hear Carson’s voice again, this time it’s crystal clear what he says. “Maddie, look. Brie will be back soon. You have to…” His voice cuts off and I hear the unmistakable sound of lips smacking together and a low female moan.

I can’t listen to another second of this. I push the door open and stare, wide-eyed, as Madeline devours the face of the love of my life. Her arms are around him and his hands are on her shoulders.

“Why?” I ask weakly. 

It’s just enough to break the focus of the two lovers and they both turn in my direction. Carson’s eyes widen and his mouth is open. He stares at me, shocked, not saying a word. Madeline just smiles at me as she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

“You told me she was lying.” It comes out as not much more than a whisper.  “You promised there was no truth to what she said.  What was last night about?  Is this what the girls’ night out was really for?” I ask. My voice is quiet and steady, belying the agonizing ache spreading through my chest. “If you wanted me out, you only had to ask.”

Carson seems to finally get his wits about him, and says, “Angel…”

It’s the last word I want to hear right now. It seems my white knight is as big a fairytale as the rest of them.  I need to get out of here. This small trailer feels like it’s closing in on me by the second. As I turn to leave, Carson tries to reach for me, but Madeline is between us. Go figure. I’m out the door of the trailer in seconds and I run, no destination in mind, I just run. I exit the parking lot and make it about a block down the street before the three-inch heels Daisy talked me into wearing stop me from going another step.  I reach down and pull them off, looking around for a place to sit and get my thoughts together. 

A few buildings down I know there is a little restaurant called Annie’s that’s open pretty late.  They have great pancakes – Carson and I sometimes stop in when he’s on set well past dinner.  I walk the rest of the way in my bare feet, only slipping my shoes back on to enter the building.  I take a table as far back as possible and sit down.  I haven’t cried and I haven’t screamed.  I haven’t even taken a second to process the scene I walked in on back there. My heart hurts and my stomach aches, but the rest of me is numb. I have no idea how long I sit there before the waitress comes over to ask if she can get me something to drink. I stare blankly, and after a moment she recognizes me from all the nights I’ve been here before.

“Oh, hey, honey,” the middle-aged waitress smiles at me.  The name on the worn tag she wears says Laura.  “I didn’t recognize you without that movie star of yours!  You probably get that a lot…”

She trails off as she stares at me with growing horror. She’s done it. The tears have started. They’re flowing faster than I can catch them with the napkin I picked up and I stop even trying. The quiet weeping gives way to racking sobs as I lay my head down on the chipped laminate tabletop. Laura pats my back and says, “Oh, sweetie, I’m sure it’s okay. Whatever it is, it will be fine.”

I look up into her concerned face and try to speak, “He – I...   But I – I can’t even…”  I can’t catch my breath enough to get a full sentence out. 

A few tables over, a man calls out, “Excuse me!” and catches the waitress’s eye.  She looks at me, then back to him.  “I’ll be okay,” I manage.  “Really.”  She nods at me with what I think is supposed to be a comforting smile and walks away.  I swipe at the tears and take deep breaths, trying to regain control over myself. 

Realizing that my bag is vibrating, I pick it up.  I didn’t even realize I still had it with me, but I guess I never had the chance to set it down at home. 
Home
, the word echoes in my mind. It’s possible I don’t even have a home right now. I have no idea what happens next.

I pull the now-quiet phone from my bag and it immediately begins buzzing again. 
My Love
comes up on the screen as I press the screen to ignore the call.  The missed call list shows that he’s called nineteen times and I have two voicemail messages. Daisy has called twice, which I can only assume means that Carson has called her.  I look at the voicemail list and one of them is from her, the other from Carson.  I start to delete Carson’s message but decide against it.  I’m definitely not listening to it just yet, but the sentimental part of my brain is screaming that I need to hold on to this message, hold on to his voice, just in case it’s the last message I ever receive from him. 

I press play on the message from Daisy, and her words confirm that she has talked to Carson. “Brie, where are you? Carson told us the basics of what happened and we know you must be freaking out.” I can hear Sara in the background whispering something. “Sara says to tell you that we’re your family, which is totally true, and when you’re upset, you turn to family.” Apparently Sara doesn’t have a family like mine. “So, listen, we’re coming to get you. We’re getting in the car right now. We are going to drive around looking for you until we either find you or you call us.  You’re coming back to the hotel with us tonight and we can sort all of this out tomorrow.  We love you, you know.  Call us back.” 

The tears are quietly streaming down my face again. I’m so embarrassed right now. I’m either the girl who was cheated on by the man she thought she could trust or I’m the woman who overreacted and ran away when there was no need. I’m still holding out hope that it’s the latter, but my life hasn’t really shown me that it’s worth trying to see the best in people. Either way, I don’t really want to face anyone I know just now. Those stubborn girls will make good on their word and search for me, though, so, begrudgingly, I open a message to Daisy and type in my location. I don’t trust myself to speak to her just yet. I place the phone on the table and lean back, taking deep breaths and trying to avoid thinking about anything.