To Catch A Duke (18 page)

Julia squeaked and grasped the
duke's hand.
 
Why had no one ever told
her this?
 
A part of her mind knew why,
however.
 
No one could bear it.
 
But
he
was telling her now, so that
was something.
 
"But how?
 
Why?
 
I was a child."

The duke grasped her hand tightly
in his, as if afraid she might run.
 
"In his mind, which I now believe was sick and twisted at this
point, probably by the French pox since he was never particularly careful with
his women, you were an obstacle.
 
One
that he needed to remove.
 
Remember,
Nicholas was older and getting ready to leave for school, another obstacle out
of the way.
 
There was only you."

A vague memory came to her
then.
 
There had been a wet, rainy
forest filled with trees and a flash of metal.
 
"He did this."
 
Her
fingers stroked the top most scar that ran the length of her cheekbone.
 
"He scarred me.
 
With...
 
With..."
 
She searched her
mind, grasping for the answers that she now believed to be hidden there.
 
"A fencing foil," she said
slowly.
 
"He used a fencing
foil."

Benjamin nodded, confirming her
memory.
 
"Your parents followed his
trail into the trees that bordered our lands, just as he'd intended.
 
However, he hadn't counted on your father
coming as well.
 
He assumed it would
just be your mother."

"And he was going to kill me
in front of her.
 
So that they could be
together."
 
Julia felt cold now,
even colder than when she'd confronted Landover.
 
"Why didn't he?"

"I was there.
 
I would not allow it."
 
Benjamin said the words so softly that he
wasn't certain she'd heard him.
 
"Nicholas and I followed your parents as well.
 
We were both at Seldon Park that day,
readying to depart for school.
 
Too far
from the nearest town for a magistrate to help, and with no one but your father
to rescue you.
 
Your brother and I
thought he needed our help.
 
We were
right, as it turned out."
 
He
traced the line of a vein on her hand with his thumb, stroking it softly, as if
willing her to be calm.
 
"We took
swords from the medieval weaponry cabinet your father kept in the front hall
and set off only minutes behind them.
 
To us, your rescue was serious business, but also a little bit of a
grand adventure as well.
 
We were boys,
after all.
 
I did not
think..."
 
He stopped there, unable
to continue.

By now, the two of them had moved
deeper into the shadows, far from the sights and sounds of the ball, and
Benjamin pulled her close to him, needing to feel her heartbeat against his
chest.
 
Needing to know that she was
still alive and well before he continued.
 
"By the time we got there, he had already scarred you.
 
You were nearly naked, the blood dripping
from your body.
 
But you didn't
cry.
 
Even then, you were strong."

"And my parents?"
 
She didn't know how they could have stood by
and done nothing.
 
She was still coming
to terms with the rest of what he had just told her.

"They were pleading for your
life, begging him to let you go.
 
But
they did not move to try to take you from him."
 
Benjamin rested his chin on the top of her head.
 
"I think that even then, they imagined
they could reason with him.
 
But I had
seen his rage, knew the true depth of his obsession, where as they never
had.
 
There was no reasoning with
him.
 
He was too far gone in his
madness."

Julia did not really want to hear
the rest, but knew she had to.
 
She knew
she would be unable to move forward without the full truth of things.
 
"And then?
 
Because I get the feeling they did not save me."

He shook his head and pulled her
closer, so close that he nearly crushed her to him.
 
"No.
 
He had already
cut your right side and had started on the left.
 
I knew by the way that he moved that he meant that cut to be the
last.
 
Then he would kill you in front
of everyone."
 
She felt Benjamin
swallow hard and tighten his grip on her, even though she did not think it
possible.
 
"You were a little
girl.
 
Nicholas' sister.
 
I couldn't let him."
 
He kissed the top of her head again.
 
"So I did what I had to do.
 
I ran him through with your father's
sword."

"You killed your father?
 
For me?"
 
Julia was in shock.
 
There
was no other word for it.
 
That was also
not at all what she had expected Benjamin to say, even though she knew in her
heart that he told the truth.

"I had to."
 
There was no emotion in his tone now, just
emptiness.
 
A vast void that had likely
been there all along.
 
"He would
have killed
you
otherwise.
 
I
couldn't allow that.
 
No one was going
to hurt you.
 
Not then.
 
Not now."

Julia raised her hand to her side
where the jagged scar was.
 
"That's
why the others are smooth and this one ragged."
 
The story fit perfectly.
 
And she knew that no one else could ever know the truth.

"Precisely."
 
He pulled back to look at her, tears
glistening in his eyes, though it would not be manly to allow them to
fall.
 
"I didn't want to, but he
left me no choice.
 
Your parents came
back to themselves then, and whisked you back to Seldon Park, taking me with
you."

"You killed your father to
save my life."
 
The hurt in Julia's
heart towards the duke for his deception lessened to almost nothing as the
truth sunk in.
 
For as angry as she'd been
only moments ago, now that very emotion was slipping away only to be replaced
by something far deeper and more meaningful.

"I had to."
 
For Benjamin, there had never been a
choice.
 
"My father was ill. I knew
it, even if others did not.
 
Had he been
denied that time, he would have tried again.
 
And again after that until he had obtained what he desired.
 
Nothing was ever going to keep him from your
mother.
 
He was too far gone in his
delusions to believe otherwise."
 
Around them, the night insects began to sing, and in that moment,
Benjamin knew a lightness that he had never felt before.
 
The secret was out and there was no taking
it back.

He rubbed his hands along her upper
arms as if to warm her, though he suspected that she was not cold.
 
But he was.
 
"When you were recovering, I talked with the doctors.
 
They probably shouldn't have given
information about your health to a child, but I was the duke at that point, and
I don't think they knew how to deny me.
 
They told me you would be scarred for life, and I felt so guilty.
 
So damnably guilty.
 
If only I had said something earlier.
 
I knew my father's obsession was out of
control, but I did not know how far gone he truly was."

"You were little more than a
child yourself, Ben," she reminded him softly, content for the moment to
rest in his arms.
 
"It was not your
responsibility."

"It felt as if it was,"
he replied, snuggling her more firmly against him, thankful she had not run
from him when she'd learned the truth.
 
"That day, I vowed that I would protect you for as long as I
lived.
 
I would make sure no one ever
hurt you again.
 
I even made certain no
one would ever learn the truth about my father's death.
 
With the help of your family and some local
officials, we concocted a story about my father being killed by highwaymen a
few days later.
 
No one was to ever
know.
 
Until now, no one did."

Julia pulled back slightly so that
she could look at Benjamin.
 
"Someone did, because Landover knows.
 
Or, at least I think he does."
 
Quickly she filled him in on Landover's attempt to blackmail
her.
 
Until that moment, she had been
undecided about whether or not to tell him.
 
Now she knew she could not hide the truth.
 
There had been too many secrets and lies already.
 
She did, however, omit the part where the
marquess insisted that Benjamin loved her.
 
There had been enough pain for one night.

"He probably learned the truth
from Meggy's mother," Benjamin finally said, after giving it some
consideration.
 
"She was in your
parents employ at the time of the kidnapping, but she left shortly after to
become nanny to Landover.
 
And, I
suspect, that Meggy learned the truth from her mother as well.
 
A secret like that would be far too valuable
to take to the grave."

"So what shall we
do?"
 
Julia knew she should still
be furious with Benjamin, but found that she could not be, no matter how much
she tried.
 
Yes, he had lied to her, but
there had been a reason.
 
One that
directly involved her.
 
And him.
 
It would have been a scandal for the ages
had the truth become public.
 
A son
killing his own father to save the life of a little girl.
 
Both of the families would have been ruined,
and she knew that neither of them would have ever recovered.

She also understood now that
Nicholas had been right in what he'd said earlier.
 
She did use her scars as a shield, not allowing anyone to get
close to her.
 
What her parents had
started by exiling her to Sussex, she had continued and possibly made worse,
even though she had been given the power to change her situation.
 
Benjamin had given it to her by forcing her
to have a season.
 
And she had wasted
it.
 
Or nearly so.

Still, the fact remained that the
secret needed to stay buried in the past.
 
After all these years, it could still do significant social damage to
all of them.

With a sigh, Benjamin pulled back
from her and looked towards the mansion where he was certain Landover still
waited.
 
"We do nothing.
 
You allow me to deal with Landover."

"I will not allow him to hurt
you," she said fiercely.
 
He had
done quite enough on his own.
 
Now it was
her turn to help him.
 
"I will do
whatever is necessary to keep all of us safe."

"And I shall not allow you to
go to his bed."
 
There was no
possible way Benjamin would give on that point.

"Then we are at an
impasse."
 
Julia's heart
ached.
 
This was not how she had dreamed
of her season ending.
 
She'd dreamed of
romance and had received blackmail instead.
 
"For I do not think that either of us will relent."

For a moment, she thought he would
not answer her, but then he turned back to face her, his eyes alight.
 
"No, I do not think either of us
will."
 
Then he reached out and
stroked her cheek, much as the marquess had done earlier.
 
Only this time, she leaned into the touch,
hungry for more.
 
"But we do not
need to decide tonight.
 
Tomorrow we can
plan."

"And until then?"
 
Julia could almost see the unspoken question
in his eyes.
 
A scant hour earlier, she
would have called anyone who might have suggested that she would end up back in
his arms, all forgiven, insane.
 
But
this was Benjamin.
 
Her Ben.
 
The man she loved.
 
The man who had saved her life.
 
She could not deny him.
 
Nor did
she want to.

"Let me make love to you,
Jules."
 
An array of emotions
flickered across his face, but she only saw one.
 
Love.
 
He might not be
able to say the words, and he might never allow himself to feel it, but he did
love her.
 
And that was enough for now.