TITAN (5 page)

“You bitch,” Tony spit out.

“You think this fucking guy wants
you to be his girlfriend?”

“I don’t know Tony, and I don’t
care. I just know that if I can cheat on you, I don’t need to be with you and I
didn’t really. It was just a kiss.”

He rushed toward her, almost as if
he was going to hit her and then stopped short and leaned over her so they were
face to face.

“I love you, Jordy, all this time
we had, we got along, we had the best sex, and there was nothing wrong! What
the fuck did you do?”

She knew playing it down was wrong
but she was no angel, regardless if Titan thought she seemed innocent, she
wasn’t. She hadn’t really ever been truly faithful but to a few boyfriends down
the line. Tony was one of them, even though she almost screwed that up last
night before Tite stopped her.

It didn’t make sense to her to be
faithful to Mr. Maybe or Mr. Two Dates a Month.

Screw that.

 She wasn’t getting any younger.

“Tony, I have to choose and I
choose him,” she said the words in the coldest way possible, she hadn’t heard
from him at work that day and she didn’t care, after the sparks that flew
between them.

She knew then she was just settling
with Tony and that was enough for her. She wanted the naughty guy.

She wanted Tite.

She never was one for the nice guys
and she had just spent two and a half years with this one. “Tony, I am sorry.
This hurts me too, but anything I say right now won’t be enough.”

“So you think that the biggest rap
star in the world is going to
love
you? Marry
you
?”

“No and no but Tony I can’t be with
you anymore.”

“Wow, he already has you wrapped
around his finger, what a stupid woman you are, he can get pussy from any woman
he wants and you think you have the power to tame him? You really are a stupid
woman.”

“I know,” she said, scared more of
the truth of his words than she thought.

“Jordy, this is going to end badly
for you. And fuck you for doing this to us, we had a good thing, and you threw
it away for a wet dream. Fuck you.”

He got in his car and sped off as a
black SUV pulled up.

She recognized Jessie as soon as
she saw him.

He rolled down his window. “You
okay?”   

“Jessie, tell him not tonight,” she
said, almost tearful.

“He’s in New York” Jessie said sounding concerned.

“Well, then what….” She stopped
herself again.

He had listened to her conversation
with Tony last night on meeting at her job at 5.

 Jessie must have been waiting
to make sure Tony wasn’t violent.

That smug son of a bitch knew she
would do it.

She half smiled as tears slid down
her cheeks.

“He told me to give you this.”

He handed her a smart phone and
watched her carefully.

“He said he will call you later.”
She took the phone.

“Thanks, Jessie.” She walked toward
her car not really caring if she seemed rude, he had just spied on her so she
really didn’t give a damn.

She got home ten minutes later, not
bothering to set up the smart phone, she climbed in bed with her work clothes
on letting the lack of sleep take over from the night before.

She woke to the sound of an
unfamiliar ringtone. She fumbled around her bed searching for the source of the
noise, and as the ring got louder, she knew she was close. Finally after what
seemed like an eternity she found it and slid it right to answer.

“Hi.”

She half
smiled,
still easily ready to slip back into slumber.

“Jordy?”

“Who else would it be, Tite?”

Then she thought to herself, how
many other girls have a hand delivered phone?

“Jessie told me you were a little
upset; I was just calling to see...”

“Well you already know what
happened, I am sure.
Not cool, by the way, I don’t like being
watched,”
she said in the most disciplined voice she could muster.

“Yeah I get it, but I had to make
sure.”

“And, now you know,” she snapped.

“Are you mad at me, now?” he asked,
a smile in his voice.

“No, I am just tired, it’s been a
fucked up day,” she said in a reassuring tone.

“I will call you when I get back,”
he said, sounding pleased.

“Okay,” she said irritated with his
smug tone.

“Aren’t you going to ask me when?”
He seemed surprised she hadn’t asked for details.

“No expectations,” she said, in an
almost depressed tone.

“Good Girl, Jordy. Get some sleep.”
He hung up.

No expectations? What the hell was
she thinking? It had been five days and she had only gotten one text from him
since the night he called.

“Jordy, Soon”

What kind of fucked up cryptic
message was that?

 She didn’t even bother to
respond, she just drifted through the rest of the work week and by Saturday she
was pissed, even though she knew she didn’t have a right to be.

 She kept busy by cleaning the
apartment and calling friends, though no one, not even Angie, knew she saw him
again.

She knew she had to prepare herself
if there would be any “arrangement” between them. He would never go for all the
details leaking out.

She would tell Angie when she
figured out exactly what was going on.

She had told Angie about Tony and used
it as an excuse to be alone that weekend. She had agreed to be his play toy,
she didn’t know what was worse now, staying with a man she knew she didn’t love
or agreeing to be a fuck object with no expectations.

What had she agreed to?

It didn’t matter now, he wasn’t
even giving her a reason to want or expect anything. By Sunday she had resigned
to another week of work hell.

She was in the middle of a feeding
frenzy full of store bought plastic containers when she heard knock on the
door.

If it was Tony, she wouldn’t open
it, she was not even close to ready for that confrontation.

She fully expected to see Angie
through the peephole but it wasn’t, it was
him
!

She quickly cleared her coffee
table of her buffet and ran back to the door, realizing her clothes were far
from acceptable.

She had taken too much time already
and had to answer.

She cracked the door to see him
looking perfect, fuck. 

Her hair was a mess and she was in
her boy cut tighty whities and a tethered Spring Break ‘97 tee shirt.

“Drunken, drug addict,” he teased.

“Damn, Tite, you could have warned
me,” she said as she pulled the door open for him and ushered him to come in
quickly.

“And miss all this?” He pulled her
whities at the hip and snapped them back to her body making them pop.

“Funny, you’re a funny guy.”

She all but ran to her bedroom to
get some clothes on, but he was right behind her.

He spun her around and grabbed both
her arms pinning her to the bedroom door.

He kissed her hard, then softening
his
kiss,
he ran his hands up and down her body until
she moaned. He licked her nipples until she cried out and then worked his way
down, peeling off her panties he parted her legs and kissed her until she
spread them wider. He tore off what was left of the shirt and now had her
completely naked and threw her on the bed. She screamed a little in surprise
and delight and smiled as he started to undress in front of her. He slipped off
his shoes and started at his jeans. She lifted up off the bed and started
fumbling with his belt until she freed him, once she
did,
she looked him right in the eye and took him into her mouth. He took in a deep
breath and looked at her. She pleased him as long as she could before leaning
back on the bed, expectant. He leaned over and kissed her slipping his hand
between her thighs and messaging her.

She moaned again this time loud and
he smiled down at her.

He reached into his jeans pulled
out a wrapper and slipped a condom on. He hovered over her and looked at her.
She stared up at his perfect body down and then up to his eyes. As soon as she
was ready to demand that he take her, he did, swiftly and roughly, he buried
himself in her and they both cried out.

He tortured her slowly with long
strokes and she could not control herself as she moaned loudly over and over.
He stopped suddenly and flipped her over pulling her in a sitting position back
to him. He eased her onto him and kissed her neck, fucking her gently over and
over.

She came again and again and each
time she shivered he whispered in her ear, “That’s right, Jordy.”

He turned her over once again to
face him easing her down beneath him and licking her stomach and her nipples
until there was nothing left. He smashed into her then over and over again
looking at her intently and stroking harder and harder until he finally gave
in.

She woke up on his chest and opened
her eyes and smiled at him, though he was sound asleep. She wondered why she
had woken up so quickly, she was just having the best dream.

A noise?

It was a noise, a pounding noise,
she looked at the clock.

9 p.m.

Pound, pound, pound.

 “Jordy, come to the door,
come on baby, please don’t leave me out here looking like this.”

It was TONY!

Oh my God and Titan
was
here, in her bed.

She had been ignoring his calls all
week. She had been missing him a little, she wasn’t hard pressed for attention,
but she felt terrible. He did not deserve what she had done.

Of all the fucking times for him to
try to see her why did it have to be while
he
was in her bed?

 “Jordy, I saw your truck, I
know you’re home.  Baby, please, just
come
to the
door.”

 She looked at Tite again, his
eyes were open and challenging her as if to say ‘what are you going to do?’

She jumped out of bed and threw on
a black sundress.

She looked at Tite and ordered,
“Stay here, I fucking
mean
it, stay here, this would
kill him. I will handle this.”

She cracked the door and could only
see half of him, and the half she saw looked like hell.

She instantly felt terrible.

“Hi baby, please let me come in. I
have already made a damn fool of myself in the hall.”

“I was sleeping, Tony. I have to
work tomorrow,” she said truthfully, well, almost.

“Jordy, I gave you almost three
years, that deserves 5 minutes,” he said, entitled.

“Five minutes, Tony,” she said and
opened the door for him to come in. She scanned the living room quickly and saw
Tite had not emerged from her bedroom and she sighed because she knew either
way she was in deep shit, with both of them.

“Jordy, I came to give you this.”
He walked past her and set a black box on the kitchen counter and took a step
back and turned to face her.

“Yes, it is an engagement ring and
no, I am not going to ask you to marry me tonight.” His voice was shaking.

“I was going to ask you on your
birthday at Nomo’s and I was on my way to take it back today and I couldn’t.”

 He stuck his hand in his
pockets and stared at the floor.

“We spent a lot of time together
and we were best friends and you broke my fucking heart, that’s true, but you
took away my best friend, too, and you’re only explanation is that you wanted
to fuck a rap star.”

 Jordy sucked in a deep breath
as the shit got even deeper for her.

He definitely heard that, but Tony,
oh poor Tony, she hated herself.

“I didn’t say I wanted to fuck a
rap star, if that was the case I would have fucked him and not told you and we
would still be together, women
and
men do terrible shit like that to
each other all the time, he is not a conquest to me. Sex is sex Tony, we have
had this talk, I am no angel and I was no virgin when you met me.”

She snapped acting offended while
said naked rap star was lying in her bed.

“I did what I did because I
wanted
to pursue whatever the fuck that it was that was strong enough to break our
relationship, it’s that simple.”

Jordy knew she sounded cold again
but this had to end and quick.

Tite wasn’t the type to sit around
waiting for old relationship drama to unfold. She carefully looked at the
bedroom door so Tony wouldn’t notice.

“Whatever the reason,” Tony said
carefully, “We were what we were and we were so good, the sex was so damn good,
I know where to touch every part of you.”

He reached for her and she
whispered, “Stop it, stop it right now!”

“Jordy, there is no way the woman I
love is this cold, fucking kill me now if I spent these years with you and you
are this heartless bitch who never loved me.”

He was crying now, but quietly.

“Tony, I love you, but I settled
with you, and I didn’t realize it until I felt something else, it’s not love,
but it’s a feeling that I can’t describe and it’s pretty fucking intense and
when it fades as they always do, I am sure I will think of why this happened
and I am sure now that I am only hurting myself, but I want what I want, and
there is no use pretending or resenting you for something that isn’t your
fault. For now, I want him and I am
choosing
him and I am ending our
relationship for
me
so I can do what I really want to do. I am being
selfish; I am pushing away my best friend.”

This time her voice cracked.

STOP IT JORDY, end this now. Don’t
say another word in front of Tite.

“Jordy if it hurts you to break us
up why do it? He will use you and then let you go, he will not love you, not
the way I do, he is going to fuck you and call it a day. Is it really worth
throwing us away? I was going to fucking ask you to be my wife, now you say you
didn’t love me not like that? Bullshit! Jordy, I can make you come in less than
a minute and only because you do have those feelings for me. He has just scrambled
your brain, you are not thinking. We never fought, we never had problems. Do
you actually think he is going to love you? Marry you? He hates women, he had
made that clear to the world and you’re the exception, right? This is a stupid
fucking attempt to attain the unattainable.”

He stared at her now, heartbroken
and desperate for any inkling that he was right.

“Yeah, by
both
of us,” Jordy
snapped, and then regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. That did
it, that was the final blow and he was defeated. He looked at the box as if he
was going to pick it up then she saw him decide he didn’t want it.

“I loved you as best as I could,
baby, and I won’t walk away saying that I didn’t go down without a fight, but
how can I compete with this? I am man enough to see that your mind is made up
and I am not going to beg you to stay with me. Whether or not, you’re making a
big fucking mistake. Well, I guess time will tell and it’s going to tell you
exactly what I am now.”

He walked over to her and kissed
her on the lips super slow and backing his face away eyes dead locked with
hers.

“You broke me you bitch, I can’t
believe you did this to me, bye, J baby.”

 Her eyes closed as his voice
cracked again on his pet name for her and tears slid down her face.

“Tony, God, I am so sorry, I am not
who I thought I was, either.”

Now she was crying and didn’t care
who heard.

Fuck him for doing this to her, it
was the first time she actually blamed
him
for what was happening.

Now, she was pissed.

She had hurt a man who truly loved
her and who a week ago she would have accepted a marriage proposal from him to
be a man’s play toy.

Suddenly, she wanted nothing to do
with Titan and she was fuming.

“Tony?” she cried, and he looked
back, not at her, but at the floor next to her.

“Take the ring, please.” She
begged.

“Take it.”

He smiled faintly and softly said,
“No, Jordy. See that’s my ‘fuck you’. You are going to open that box, and you
are going to see that ring, and I pray it hurts you just for one fucking second
as bad as you hurt me. And you won’t throw it away, because that is all you
will have left of me, and when he fucks you over, you will look at that ring
Jordy and remember me.”

He closed the door behind him,
slammed it really.

She locked the door and let the
tears fall. She felt him behind her instantly and took in a deep breath for
round two.