'Tis the Season (21 page)

Chapter Twenty

The long holiday weekend was busy with activities and filled with holiday cheer. On Friday, Charles took the kids, Lisette, and Tess to get their Christmas trees. They dropped Tess's tree at her house, but she came back to Charles's home with them. Charles called Dane and Julia to come join them, and within an hour, most of the Harrisons had filled Charles's house and made it a small party.

Lisette watched from the corner as the two brothers put up the huge tree the kids had chosen. They all—the adults and the kids—were happier together that day than she could remember seeing them in some time, and she could not help noting that the Harrison patriarch wasn't there. The air felt lighter when that man wasn't around.

Charles's staff would decorate the rest of the mansion's interior later, as well as the massive façade and grounds, but the living room was the kids' domain. As they all decorated the tree and the room, Christmas music played, and Lisette brought out hot cocoa and the chocolate chip cookies she'd baked that morning. When she tried to return to the kitchen, Charles gently grasped her wrist and asked her to stay. She looked into his eyes, wanting so much to say yes, but shook her head.

“I want you here with us,” he whispered fiercely.

“It would give us away in a heartbeat,” she whispered back. “The kids . . .”

He sighed and released her wrist. “Right now, I hate our secret.” He stared down at her, mixed frustration and affection radiating from him.

“Enjoy all of this,” she said. “It's a wonderful day. Be with your family.”

Obviously conflicted, he just kept staring at her until she finally turned away. She went to the kitchen, wanting to be nearby in case any of them needed anything . . . wanting to be nearby, even though her heart was aching a tiny bit. Her e-reader was at the table in the corner, where she'd left it earlier, and she sat there to read with a cup of cinnamon apple tea.

Ten minutes later, Dane sauntered into the kitchen. “Hey there,” he said jovially. “Reading?”

“Um, yes,” she said, looking up at him. “Do you need something?”

“Yeah,” Dane said. “I need not to see you all alone in here while we're all having fun in the living room. That just sucks.”

She blinked at him, not knowing how to respond.

“Please come join us,” he said. He leaned his hip against the table, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he flashed one of his renowned charming smiles. “Come onnnn. Come and play with the rest of us kids.”

She set her e-reader down on the table. “Did someone put you up to this?” she asked quietly.

“Nope. No one puts me up to anything. Except maybe my wife on occasion.” He arched a brow, his bright blue eyes fixed on her. His tone was casual, but his stare wasn't. “Miss Gardner. It's the holidays. No one should be alone. Come enjoy the afternoon with us. Pretty please?”

He knows
, she thought. Dane was more than Charles's brother; he was his most trusted confidant. If Charles would tell anyone about them, it'd be Dane.

He quirked another blinding grin and gestured with his head toward the doorway. “Come on, lovely Lisette. Let's go. Off your seat, on your feet.”

“It seems you're insisting,” she murmured.

“I am. And if you know anything about me, it's that I'm known to be pretty damn persuasive.” The crooked grin that had broken many hearts was aimed right at her. “I'll wear you down, darlin'.”

She had to laugh. Dane's charm was legendary; right then, she could see why. The man's smile and easy, good humor were infectious. “Fine,” she said with mock resignation, and rose from her chair.

“Atta girl,” he said. He gave her a meaningful look and added, “You won't be sorry.”

When Lisette entered the living room with Dane, Charles gazed at her with such adoration it made her knees weak. Oh, she loved him. She even adored his family, God help her. They were all such good people, welcoming her into the fold so warmly that within minutes she felt as if she was not just the nanny, but one of them.

* * *

On Saturday, Charles had a stretch limo take them into the city, it was a car-service agency used by his office. His surprise—front-row seats to the Radio City Christmas show—had the kids bouncing and squealing with glee. Lisette had to admit she was pretty thrilled herself; she'd never seen the famous spectacle. At the show, which was indeed spectacular, she and Charles sat apart with the kids between them. But when they all went out to an early dinner afterward, he made sure she sat beside him. He held her hand under the table whenever he could. Then they all walked around the city to see some of the famous holiday window displays . . . At seven the limo took them home, everyone happy and exhausted.

Sunday was Lisette's day off. After breakfasting with Charles and the kids, she went out with Tina for the afternoon to do some Christmas shopping and have lunch. When they parted ways, Lisette took a walk by the Sound, thinking of everything that had happened in the past few weeks, wondering how and why her life had changed . . . wondering how long it would last. When she returned home that night, Charles and the kids welcomed her as if she'd been gone for days instead of hours. And as was now becoming their delicious routine, once the kids were asleep, she and Charles locked themselves in his room, made love, and talked until their eyes grew heavy and she returned to her own room.

Before Lisette knew it, Monday had come, the kids went back to school, and Charles went back to work. Time always seemed to speed up around the holidays, and as they entered December, the excitement and higher energy were almost tangible. The week flew by, and Lisette had never been happier in her entire life.

The only thing that bothered her was how tired she was all the time. She'd never really bounced back from that week when the kids were sick, and sometimes a wave of nausea would clobber her out of nowhere. She'd choke down some crackers or a piece of bread, drink some peppermint tea, and feel better, but she wondered if she'd ever shake the remnants of the kids' virus. She thought it might even be an iron deficiency, or even . . . perish the thought . . . she was just getting older. She'd turn thirty-five in April; maybe she simply didn't have the energy she'd had before.

She thought she was doing a good job of keeping her concerns to herself, until on a Friday night, she felt herself being gently shaken. “Lisette. Lisette, wake up.”

Charles's voice was clear, but it felt as if it were coming to her through a fog, from miles away. Her eyes fluttered open to see him standing over her, handsome as always in a slate gray suit and patterned tie, staring down at her with concern. “Hi,” she said.

“Hi.” His brow furrowed harder. “I'm worried about you.”

“Why?” She struggled to sit up, realizing she was on the couch in the den. “I . . .” It hit her in a flash that she'd been watching a movie with the kids. They weren't there now, the TV was off, and the windows showed it was dark outside. Oh, boy. “I fell asleep, I guess?”

“I just got home from work five minutes ago. The kids were all in their rooms, playing video games. They were fine,” he added quickly, dropping down to sit next to her, “but they said you fell asleep during the movie. More than an hour ago. That you were so deep asleep, they didn't want to wake you, because they figured you were really tired.” His blues narrowed as he studied her. “Because you fell asleep the other day after school too, for a little while.”

Lisette felt the blood rise in her face. “I'm so sorry,” she whispered. “I understand if you're angry with me.”

“Angry? I'm not angry,” he said, taking her hand. “I'm concerned. You haven't been 100 percent since the kids were sick. When's the last time you had just a basic physical?”

She shrugged. “Honestly, I don't know. Two years? Could be three . . .”

“I want you to get checked out,” he said in an authoritative tone. “You'll make an appointment on Monday.”

Something in her bristled at that tone. “That sounds like a command, not a request. Are you pulling rank, ordering me as my employer?”

“No,” he said. “But I will if that's what it takes to make you go.”

Was she overreacting? She brushed it aside. “I'll make an appointment,” she murmured.

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead, lingering there before he said, “Thank you.”

“I'm not used to people being concerned for my welfare,” she said softly. “I didn't mean to sound snippy.”

He grinned and said, “You were only a tiny bit snippy. And it's fine.” He touched her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. “As for people being concerned for you, get used to it. Because I care about you, so that means I'm going to be looking out for you. It's really that simple.”

“Nothing about you is simple, Charles,” she said.

He cupped her cheek, his hand warm against her skin. “One thing is. I'm head over heels for you.”

Her breath caught. The look in his eyes was so sweet it was almost too much. “If you are, that's the most complicated thing of all,” she said.

“No, it isn't. Not really.” He rubbed her jaw with the pad of his thumb. “Right now, you're the best, brightest part of my days. Other than the kids, of course.”

“Of course,” she murmured back in wonder.

He leaned in to steal another kiss and said, “Let's go find something to eat.”

* * *

On Saturday morning, after breakfast, Lisette had just gotten out of the shower when there was a knock on her bedroom door. “Hold on a minute,” she called out. She quickly finished toweling off, put on her robe, and wrapped her long, wet hair in a turban-like towel. She sprinted from her adjoining bathroom through her bedroom and flung open her door. Charles stood there, leaning against the doorframe, looking gorgeous in a blue-gray sweater and jeans.

“Good morning,” he said with a smile.

“Good morning,” she echoed, her insides warming at the sight of him.

“Sorry I wasn't here five minutes ago.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I wish I could toss you down on the bed right now and have the pleasure of stripping you out of that robe. You know that, right?”

She tried to hold back her smile by biting down on her bottom lip, but it didn't work. “Didn't you get enough of me last night?” she whispered flirtatiously.

“I never get enough of you,” he whispered back. Behind his glasses, his eyes sparkled with enchantment. “So anyway . . .” He cleared his throat and spoke at normal volume. “Can you pack a bag for a three-day trip?”

She blinked. “Um. I guess so. Why? Am I going somewhere?”

“You are.” He glanced at his watch. “In about six hours.”

“You'll be back on Tuesday evening. So that's three days, because we have a flight that leaves at seven tonight. It'll be cold, so pack warm clothes. Sweaters, jeans, those yoga pants that always make me want to grab your ass and bite it . . . Boots would be good. Snow boots too.” The amused look on his face showed he was clearly enjoying himself. “And you can bring the sheep slippers, but no pajamas necessary.” He winked.

“What on earth are you talking about?” she asked. “We're going somewhere? Together?”

“Yes.”

“Without the children?” She felt foolish standing there with her hair wrapped in a turban and in her robe while they had this conversation, and yanked the small towel from her head. Her damp hair came tumbling down over her shoulders.

“God, you're gorgeous.” He glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one was near, then looked back at her and said, “We need time alone. I want you all to myself. I want, for once, for us to be able to fall asleep in each other's arms after we've been together. I want to wake up with you next to me, kiss you awake, and make love to you first thing in the morning.” He leaned in closer, reached out, and twisted a long lock of her damp hair around his forefinger. “I want to spend time with you. Just the two of us. So we need to get away, and I've arranged for that to happen.”

She gaped at him in astonishment. Her brain wasn't processing all of it fast enough. Then she stammered, “B-but the kids—”

“Will be fine,” he said, cutting her off. “I've made every arrangement. They'll be taken care of while you and I are gone. They'll spend some time with their favorite Auntie Tess. Pierce and Abby are even going to lend her a hand.”

She could only shake her head and murmur, “You've gone crazy.”

“Yes, yes, I have. Crazy about
you
.”

“You're just going to whisk me away somewhere? The two of us will vanish?”

“That's the idea, yes.”

“And how are you going to explain my absence?” she whispered. “Especially since it happens to be while you're away too? Gee, what a coincidence.”

“Leave that to me,” he said. His eyes glinted with determination and assurance.

“People will put two and two together in a hot minute,” she said anxiously.

“Lisette. Sweetheart.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles, continuing to hold her eyes. “Leave everything to me. You have nothing to worry about. This is one of those times when you can say it's a good thing that your new boyfriend is a powerful billionaire executive.”

“I can't even believe those words were strung together in that sentence.”

“Get used to it.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Twelve hours later, Lisette couldn't believe she was sitting in the ski house Charles owned in Aspen. As he'd promised her, he'd swept her out of the house covertly, into a waiting limo driven by Bruck. The Harrison Enterprises private jet had been waiting at Islip's MacArthur Airport; it was only there that Charles had finally revealed where he was taking her.

She had been to Aspen twice since coming to work for Charles. It was a magnificent home on more than six acres of land—on Red Mountain, famous for its mega-wealthy residents. Charles, Dane, and Tess had bought the property together, each having an equal share, with the intention of making it a family compound independent of their father. Pierce, in England at the time, had not been in on the deal.

In her past visits, she'd been completely focused on the kids, but there'd been some downtime when they were skiing and after the children were asleep. During the day, when the Harrisons were on the mountain, she'd walk into the nearby downtown, buy a cup of hot cocoa, and window browse the boutiques and shops. She and Charles hadn't spoken much on those two trips once the kids were sleeping; Charles had been busy catching up on work he'd missed during the day, and she was only the nanny. But he had always been friendly and considerate, making sure she was comfortable and had whatever she needed.

Now . . . he'd brought her there in a spontaneous romantic gesture, and her sole concern for the next seventy-two hours would be him, and she would be his. It was both unnerving and exciting.

Everything between them had changed in such a short time. In the bubble of his mansion, she'd managed to adjust to their new dynamic. But they'd never gone out in public together, like a new couple, much less away together. If he wanted to continue to keep their budding relationship a secret and they never left the ski house this whole weekend, she'd be fine with that. Being here was a wonderful getaway.

As Charles escorted her through the house, she felt slightly off-kilter. She'd always been his employee here. Now she was his . . . exclusive guest.

Charles was in high spirits. He'd obviously enjoyed sweeping her away on a surprise trip and was still enjoying it. “You've been here before,” he said, “so you know where everything is, right?”

“Sure,” she said, looking around as so many different emotions washed over her. Elation, shock, delight, anticipation, confusion, unease . . . She looked over to the huge wall of glass in the middle of the house, in the great room. During the day, she knew that offered an incredible view of the mountain and surrounding trees. But now the blackness outside made the large window a mirror. She saw the two of them reflected, standing side by side, the first time she'd ever really
seen
them together that way, and she couldn't help but stare.

“You all right, sweetheart?” he asked, stopping to look down into her face.

“I'm fine,” she said.

His blue eyes narrowed, scrutinizing her. “When a woman says she's fine, she's anything but fine. What's up?”

“Nothing!” she said, too quickly to be convincing. “Just . . . taking this all in.”

“You're not upset that I brought you here, are you?”

“Of course not. I'm touched, flattered, shocked . . . a lot of things.”

He nodded, seeming to consider that, then took her hand and continued walking. “I believe when you were here last time, you had one of the guest rooms. That isn't where you'll be sleeping on this trip, obviously. Have you ever been in the master suite?”

“No,” she said. “Why would I have?”

“Just wondering. Come, I'll show it to you.” He put his hand to the small of her back and led her up the stairs.

At the end of the hall, the master suite was a large, open space, decorated like the rest of the house, with the same color scheme and patterns but on a slightly grander scale. The king-sized sleigh bed was an exquisite piece, facing a fireplace and two cushioned armchairs. A fire had already been set, and flames licked at the logs. As in the great room below, one wall was all glass and looked out on the same killer views.

“This is so beautiful,” she said on a dreamy sigh. “My goodness.”

“I'm glad you like it.” Charles smiled. “I had the house manager come and ready everything for our arrival,” he said. He gestured to the door across the room. “Master bathroom. European steam shower, deep tub, the works.” He stepped closer, watching her. “And you're not comfortable. Your body language is screaming it. Talk to me.”

She tried to smile, but her eyes went to the fire, and she turned her whole body toward it. Wrapping her arms around her midriff, she said quietly, “I can't believe you brought me here. Like this. I'm just . . . I'm a little overwhelmed, that's all.”

He came up behind her, sliding his arms around hers to press her back to his chest and hold her close. “I told you I wanted some time with you. For us to just be together, like any other new couple.” His chin rested on top of her head. “Why are you still so scared? What are you afraid of, honey?”

Her heartbeat felt erratic. The warmth from the fire in front of her and the warmth of him at her back enveloped her in a soothing glow as she tried to find a response to his gentle questions. They stood together, watching the fire blaze in the hearth.

“Why do you want me?” she asked. It was easier to ask that when she wasn't looking at him. “Sometimes I really don't know. At first I wondered if it was because . . . I was so available. You know, I'm always there, at the house. And, well . . .”

“I can't believe you'd say that,” he rumbled against her temple. “Jesus, Lisette, give me more credit than that. Give
yourself
more credit than that.”

Her body stiffened from his soft rebuke. “I don't think that anymore. I admit I did at first, a little bit. But . . . if easy sex was all you wanted, you wouldn't have bothered with everything you've done so far, much less with a trip like this. You didn't have to go out of your way or do anything; I'm already sleeping with you. So this is just . . .” She closed her eyes and drew a shaky breath. “You made an effort. You put thought into this, made arrangements. For me. For us. And I'm floored. No one's ever done anything like this for me before.”

“You need to learn how to accept nice words, nice gestures. That's first of all.” He turned her around to face him. The stormy look in his eyes and the way he grasped her shoulders let her know she'd disturbed him. “Why can't you let yourself believe I just want you for you, plain and simple?”

“Because there is nothing plain and simple about this whole situation,” she said hotly, “and you know it.”

“What I know,” he said, “is that I feel more alive with you than I have in years. That when I touch you, hold you, even just talk to you, I feel . . . whole. At peace, but at the same time, full of life again. What I know is that we're connected, Lisette.” He reached up to caress her cheek with the backs of his fingers. “I feel that connection every time we make love, every time we're close, every time you look at me and your eyes light up. Our connection is strong.” He cupped her face with both hands and pinned her with his gaze. “I thought you felt it too. Was I wrong?”

“No.” Her heart pounded in her chest, and her eyes welled. “I do feel it too, Charles. I do.”

“Then why are you still afraid to be with me? Because of gossip?” He shook his head dismissively. “I don't care about that bullshit. Because of how the kids might react?
That's
why we're being discreet for now, until we both feel this is rock solid. So what is it? Because other than those things, I don't know, and I wish I did.”

“Because I'm—”
Because I'm in love with you
. Her whole body started trembling. “Because I've had feelings for you for so long . . . and everyone I've ever cared about, one way or another, has ended up leaving.”

“Wait a minute.” His eyes flew wide behind his glasses, and his lips parted in shock. The only sound was the crackling of the fire. “You had feelings for me before we started any of this?”

She nodded, wishing her body would stop shaking.

“Oh my God,” he whispered, his stare so piercing she felt as if it would slice through her. “You sweet, beautiful woman. I had no idea. I . . .” His hands held her face as he pressed his lips to hers, kissing her so tenderly she thought her heart would burst. Then he leaned his forehead to hers and said, “You're not going to lose me. I'm not going to leave, I promise.”

“People leave, Charles,” she whispered. A sharper tremor ran through her. “Or, what if you decide you want
me
to leave?”

“Not going to happen,” he said. “I'm falling for you a little more each day, and you're all I think about. Do you really not know that? I thought I was so transparent!”

She shook her head and drew a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart.

“Lisette, I'm not Brandon.” He said it so fervently that she could only gaze back at him. “Don't punish me for his sins.”

The unexpected words struck her like a physical blow. She drew back, still trembling. “I'm not doing that.”

“You are; you just don't realize it. The thing is, you're punishing yourself too. A thousand times more.” His hands were on her upper arms now, not letting her out of his grasp. “You've punished yourself for trusting and believing in him. You've punished yourself for loving someone who turned out to be a selfish bastard. You've punished yourself”—his voice dropped to a whisper—“for losing the baby. I know you have. Because I know you now.”

She felt the blood drain from her face, and a violent shiver ran over her skin.

“Jesus, you're shaking like a leaf,” he said. “Come here.” He pulled her against him, holding her close and rubbing her back, her arms. “Shhhh. It's all right.”

“N-no, it's not,” she said. “I put everything at risk when I chose this path, and if it all blows up in my face, I have no one to blame but myself. I guess I'm just trying to steel myself for that.”

“Christ, you're so hard on yourself.” He kissed her temple and continued to rub her back. “Why do you have to live like a monk because some bad things happened? You put yourself in isolation; no one did that to you. It's time to come out.”

She couldn't speak, her throat thick with emotion. She just shook her head.

“Lisette. Sweetheart . . .” He kissed the top of her head and spoke to her in a velvety tone. “You're a young, beautiful woman with a tremendous heart. So much to give. You have a man in front of you right now who's crazy about you, who's doing everything he can to convince you his feelings are true and his intentions are good. I know it's scary. I'm taking a leap here too. So take the chance. You're already halfway there. Stop blocking your own path, and be happy.” He squeezed her, a hug filled with affection. “Hopefully, be happy with
me
, but either way, be happy again. Find a way; let yourself. You deserve that.”

Something inside her broke apart. She closed her eyes and buried her face in his chest, the tears sliding down her face as she clung to him. He understood her better than she'd imagined, and cared more than she'd allowed herself to acknowledge. Even now, as she trembled and cried, his hands swept up and down her back, meant to soothe and comfort. It felt so good. It felt like a lifeline. No one had held her like this since . . . God, she couldn't remember when. She cried quietly, the tears falling as she tried to take deep breaths.

“I'm not going to leave,” he whispered. “I don't
want
to leave you. I'm in this as deep as you are.”

“God, Charles, I'm scared; I admit it. I've made a safe little bubble around myself, and you're trying to breach it.”

“Damn right I am,” he said, running his hand over her hair. “Just take the leap. I'll catch you; I swear.”

Her arms tightened around him as the tears kept falling. “You're wonderful.”

“Thanks.” He dropped a kiss on her forehead. “You are too.”

“Then why can't I stop crying?” she sobbed.

“Because maybe you're finally hearing me,” he said, “and you don't want to be numb anymore. So cry all you need to. I'm here.” He held her close as she cried; he soothed her, caressed her, kissed her. “I know we can make each other happy, Lisette.”

“You already make me happy,” she said, sniffling.

“And to think I've barely tried,” he said. She had to grin at the teasing note in his voice. “Imagine once I start really pulling out all the stops. I'll sweep you off your feet.”

“You've already swept me off my feet,” she whispered. She pulled back to look up at him. “Just by being you.”

He wiped the tears from her cheeks, then lowered his mouth to take hers.