Time Will Tell (Timeless Series) (20 page)

“Elizabeth,” he repeated, holding on to his smile over her brazen attitude. “I like it. It suits you.” He studied her face. “Of course, Libby suits you too. I bet you have two sides. Libby is the woman-child who flies through time. Elizabeth marries Dr. Bull.” Colin had to remember her time in his century was limited. Intuition told him that she would never be truly happy here. As much as he’d love to pursue a lasting relationship, he refused to be the cause of anyone’s unhappiness ever again.

“Maybe,” Libby said laughing, the sound zinging its way from his ears to his groin. She leaned on her forearms and looked up at the sky. Colin did the same. Billowy white clouds drifted overhead.

“It’s so peaceful here,” she said.

Colin nodded. “This is my favorite spot.” Sighing, he lifted higher on his elbows and, lost in thought, stared out at the green landscape that went on forever.

“Tell me about your wife,” Libby asked after minutes of silence. “What was she like?”

“Why do you want to know about Abby?” He broke off a blade of grass and twirled it in his fingers, studying the texture.

“I don’t know.” Her voice, soft as a whisper, tugged on his conscience. “It just seems that thinking of her makes you sad. I’d venture to say that if you didn’t love her, her death wouldn’t affect you so much.”

He focused on the distant meadows and thought about what she was asking and how to answer her honestly. “Guilt,” he murmured
, breaking another long pause.

“Guilt?”
The question hung in the air.

“You say thinking of her makes me sad? Well, the thought that I was the cause of her unhappiness during our marriage eats away at me.” His voice sounded as unsteady as he felt.

She hesitated a moment, then reached for his hand, covering it with her own. The contact was warm as well as soothing, easing the constricting band around his heart.

“You told me the first night we talked that she hated the farm.” When he nodded, Libby shook her head. “Surely you know that you aren’t responsible for another’s happiness or unhappiness.”

“I took her away from everything she loved. And for that she never forgave me. Our life together was strained after we moved here. I tried to please her,” he said almost desperately, watching a squirrel running for cover and wishing he could be as unencumbered. Glancing at Libby and noting the compassion in her eyes, he swallowed hard and struggled to keep the pain filling his soul from showing in his expression. “I did everything I could think of. Took her into Louisville for the social life she missed in Virginia. Sought to placate her by building her a modern house and buying her clothes in the latest fashion that she claimed to want. No matter what I did, it wasn’t enough to make it up to her.”

“Oh, Colin, I’m sorry,” she said, squeezing his hand. “But you’re not to blame. She had a choice. She could have been content here.”

“She should have.” He grunted. “But nothing short of going back would do. I couldn’t go back. You’ve seen this place. You understand my dream. Why couldn’t she,” he asked, not bothering to hide the torment he’d held inside for too long.

“Was the farm always your dream?”

Colin nodded. “I knew that I would be finding land on my own and moving away. My father and I have differing opinions on what my life should be. I had to leave the area to build what I wanted.”

“I take it she understood you’d be moving away when she married you
,” Libby asked gently.

Nodding again, Colin sighed. “She didn’t think I would.”

“Well, there you go,” she said. “You two negotiated a marriage and she agreed to it. She didn’t need to, but once she did she should have honored her agreement. Steve Harvey says we’re all responsible for our own happiness.”

“Steve Harvey?” Colin questioned, with raised eyebrows.
“Another man in your life?”

Libby laughed. “No, he’s someone famous who goes around giving advice that no one listens to. I’ve never met the man, but Bev swears by him.”

“Well, that’s good because I’m not up to being jealous of someone else,” Colin said, grinning. “Dr. Bull is enough for me.”

The bit of distress he noted in her eyes stopped him cold. “I’m sorry. That was forward of me and uncalled for.” He offered an apologetic smile and let out a relieved sigh when he saw her relax.

“No problem.” She paused a heartbeat then added, “I don’t think you should feel guilty anymore. Your wife was wrong.”

Her declaration was like a balm on raw flesh. “Are you my defender, Libby?” He looked at her, unable to hide the intense feelings suddenly engulfing him. “Just like that, you’re so sure she was wrong. I could get used to having you around. You’re definitely good for my soul.”

Libby’s smile died, clearly indicating he’d gone too far. He swore under his breath, knowing she must be confused with his acting the teasing charmer one minute and the serious suitor the next.

Shaking her head, she sat up straighter as her back stiffened. “I feel as if I’m headed on a collision course with you. I don’t want this whole mess to blow up in my face because I haven’t been honest.” She licked her lips nervously and met his gaze. “Colin, you know I can’t stay here, don’t you?”

“Of course I know that.” His voice rose along with the anger aimed at himself for giving her the need to remind him. “How could you think I would expect you to, especially after what I just told you about my wife? My God, she hated every minute she spent on this farm. Do you think I want the same for you?”

No one could miss the pain in his words, but their effect on Libby tore his heart in two as tears formed in her eyes, began streaming down her face.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to suggest that. I’m only trying to be honest.”

He reached out and took her into his arms, brushing the tears off with the pads of his fingers. “I’m the one who’s sorry. Please don’t cry.”

Libby only cried harder. Their gazes connected, yearning in hers obvious behind the tears, yearning that drew him. Colin couldn’t fight both his desires and hers. Not when her eyes beckoned. And where they beckoned, Colin followed. Right now they were begging him to kiss her. Compelled to yield, he slowly moved his head until his lips captured hers, merely tasting at first. The more he tasted, the more he wanted. He could stay here forever kissing her. She was warm and pliant and the desire to sink into her warmth was more than a craving.

One of the horses neighed and a bird squawked, yanking Colin back to reality. His sanity rushed back like a tidal wave, swamping him with a flood of emotion. Reluctantly, he released her lips. Only he wouldn’t let her out of his arms. He leaned back into the blanket, taking her with him, nestling her head on his broad shoulders.

There he lay for several minutes letting Libby cry, thinking he’d give up his dream and go to the future with her if there was a way. The minute the thought was out, he realized how ludicrous it was. Colin had his children to think of. Even if he could take them with him, he had responsibilities and people who depended on him for their livelihood.

His was no longer a dream he could leave.

~

Her tears spent, Libby lay with her head on Colin’s shoulder. For how long, she didn’t know. All she knew was that she felt comfortable in his arms—not wanting to move—not wanting to think anymore. It hurt to think. She’d gone well past the point of no return with Colin and done the stupidest thing of all.
Fallen in love with him. One kiss told her everything. If he hadn’t stopped, if he’d continued and had asked for more, she’d have made love with him out here in the grass. She knew it with every fiber in her being. There was no use pretending otherwise, as she would only be lying to herself.

“What are we going to do?” Her hollow voice interrupted the uneasy silence and floated on the warm breeze.

“I don’t know,” he whispered. He took her chin by the thumb and forefinger, tipping it so that she could see his gaze. “You feel it too. Don’t you?”

Libby looked into his soul-searching eyes and nodded. He kissed her again, a quick brush of the lips, before releasing her, then sat up and began packing. “I think we’ve both been through enough for one day.” Silently, he worked. Finally, he sighed and sat on his haunches. “Libby, I realize your time here is limited. Let’s spend what little there is left together.”

“That’s not such a good idea.” She scrunched up her nose, trying to ignore the surge of pleasure swelling within her heart.

“Why?” His earnest gaze sought hers.

Oh, God. He was making this hard. “I can’t stay and it wouldn’t be fair to you.”

“I want to be with you. I think you want the same.” Still watching her, he waited until she nodded before adding, “Why not take what time there is?” His voice was insistent, almost pleading. “I’ll take whatever you give—whatever you allow. Whether you’re taken from me today or next week
, the pain is going to be unendurable. Give me some memories to keep me warm when you’re gone.”

“What are you asking?” Libby knew damned well she shouldn’t be considering his proposal.

“I know you’re engaged to marry and I have no intention of causing you dishonor. I merely want to be in your company. I’ll take a few hours off each day and we can be together doing whatever you’d like.”

He stood and reached for the blanket, saying while he folded it
, “If you’re still here when I go to Louisville, you could accompany me.” He placed the folded blanket in the basket and picked it up. “I have to be there on and off for the next couple of weeks. We can take in the social whirl, which will be in full swing. You’ll need some clothes—other than boys’ garb. There’s a shop in Shelbyville.” He glanced at her questioningly.

Her breath hitched at the back of her throat. Indecision swamped her. What could it hurt to spend a little time here? Damn! She knew it was wrong, but the caring and acceptance he offered was too tempting to pass up. Stalling, she moved to untie her horse. He followed her and helped her mount.

“Well? What’s your answer,” he asked, looking up at her.

Meeting Colin’s gaze, showing him that her desire and need mirrored his, Libby nodded. “My answer is yes.” Mistake or not
, she wasn’t about to lose the opportunity to be with him. She had a lifetime in the future to deal with the consequences.

Colin helped Libby onto her horse and then attached the basket to his saddle before mounting. Their daily rides followed by a picnic lunch had become the norm after three days. It was something he would miss once Libby found her way back home. But he refused to dwell on that as they slowly headed back the way they’d come.

“You know, you never have gotten around to fixing that fence.”

Libby’s voice drew his attention and it dawned on him what she was referring to. He chuckled. “There is no fence.”

“So that first time you
were
bent on seduction? I’m shocked.”

“Is that what you think of me?” Colin snorted.
“That I would bring a woman-child who flies through time out here to seduce her?” He tsk-tsked.

“No.” Libby shook her head.

“I’m glad you think so highly of me. But we should talk about how naive and trusting you are, my dear. If I’d been bent on seduction, you’d be seduced.” A blanket of guilt settled over his shoulders for the part of him that wanted to do exactly that, but he shoved it off, refusing to dwell on that too. His intentions were honorable.

She grunted.
“Yeah, right.”

“The thought has crossed my mind, but I refrained because you’re not in a position to accept my offer of marriage
,” he admitted. He would marry her in a heartbeat if things were different. “Besides, I’m not willing to spend precious moments begging for your forgiveness. The fence excuse achieved my main intent, which was to spend time with you.”

“Good save.”

“What did I save,” Colin asked. “I was being honest.”

“Since we’re being honest, you deserve to know that I’m more woman than child.”

“Thank God.” Colin placed one hand over his heart. “It’s good to know I haven’t fallen in love with a child.” Admitting this might not be the best way to keep things on a friendly basis, but he refused to let her go home without knowing how he felt. He glanced at her sideways. “Just how old are you, anyway?”

“Twenty-three.”
Their gazes connected and for a split second he caught the look of love in her eyes before she blinked. “How old are you?”

“Thirty-two—which makes us nine years apart.”
It was all he could do to keep his voice light. “Much better than you being half my age.”

“You thought I was sixteen?” Her frown erased any remaining trace of affection in those eyes. “That’s insulting. It’s bad enough to get carded in bars, but sixteen? For that you need to grovel.”

“I don’t grovel.” He grinned, glad to have a topic to bring him back on firmer ground. “What does carded mean? You go into bars? Saloons? Is that allowed?”

Thankfully, Libby’s laughter and comments about the future and what women were allowed to do fully divested him of his earlier thoughts. Amazing how women in her time had such freedoms. All the more reason she would never be content in his time. Not with so many constraints to deal with in 1874.

Colin left Libby with Nathan, then found Gus working to bring a couple of horses together. The two were not complying. Every time the stallion came up to the mare on the other side of the dividing fence, the mare would kick out. As he cantered away, she would then try to take a bite out of his hide.

Gus shook his head. “I think it’s going to be a day or two for her.”

“Well, Gus, sometimes the females of the species are that way.” He clapped Gus on the back and added in an amicable voice, “As males, we need to be patient, proceed cautiously, and wait for them to give us a sign.”

His manager studied him for a long minute,
then grunted. “Are we talking about horses, my friend, or young workers?” At Colin’s raised eyebrows, Gus shrugged. “Berta told me some days ago that Libby’s female. She was worried I was working her too hard. I figured you already knew her gender by the way you two were acting.”

“What do you mean
,” he asked, surprised.

“The air all but crackles when the two of you are near.
Plus, I’ve eyes, Colin. I’ve seen the way you look at her. There’s yearning in that look.”

“I figured you’d find out sooner or later.” Colin sighed. “It’s hard to keep anything from you.”

“Are you sure it’s wise to get involved with someone so young? Besides, there is so much we don’t know about her.”

“Looking out for my welfare or hers?” Colin
lifted one sardonic eyebrow.

Gus laughed. “I’m not exactly sure.” He sobered. “Why don’t you tell me? Whose welfare should I be most concerned with?”

“I’m a little uncertain about that myself.” Colin’s grin turned sheepish. “But I do know I feel comfortable with her. There’s something about her that makes me feel alive for the first time in my life.” Silently, he scanned the lush green landscape before glancing back at Gus. “My troubles seem lighter after seeing her smile. It’s as if we’re meant to be together. Of course, just my luck it’s all for naught. She doesn’t belong here.”

Gus snorted as disbelief welled in his eyes. “What do you mean she doesn’t belong here? I’ve never seen anyone take to this place the way Libby has. It’s as obvious as the nose on your face.”

“No, you don’t understand.” Colin shook his head. “This isn’t her time, her place.”

“It isn’t her time and place? Ha, she’s here
, isn’t she?”

“Yes, but not forever.”

“No one is here forever. We only have as long as God gives us to make the best of it,” Gus said, stroking the mare to calm her.

“You’re right, of course. But nevertheless, she can’t stay. She doesn’t belong here.”

“You’re not making sense, Colin.” Gus’s eyes narrowed. “Why doesn’t Libby belong here when she’s a natural with the horses?”

“Sit.” He gestured to the fence railing. “Prepare to open your mind.” Gus hauled himself onto the rail and waited silently as Colin situated himself next to him. He hesitated, unsure how to broach the subject. Finally he just blurted it out. “Libby comes from the future. She’s
from a time over a hundred years from now.”

Jaw hanging open, Gus stared at him. He eventually closed his mouth and said, “The future? You mean like Jules Verne’s future?”

Colin nodded. Rumor had it that his favorite author had written a futuristic novel that was too pessimistic to publish.

“That’s impossible.”

“It’s farfetched, I know. I’m as shocked by it all as you are. But it’s true. She flies through time.”

“No,” Gus said on a loud snort. “People don’t fly through time from the future. That’s more than farfetched. It’s totally outlandish.” Shaking his head, he snorted again. “Maybe she hit her head? Maybe she’s a little daft, you know, not all there?”

“Trust me. Everything would be easier if she were a little daft. But I believe her. I saw her come and go.” Colin’s gaze drifted to the clear blue sky as he thought of how to best explain. “She knows things, Gus,” he said, his tone convincing. “I’ve spent time with her. And as much as it pains me to do it, I have to help her find her way home.”

“My God, how can such a thing be possible?” Gus whispered, focusing on the ground as if the answer to the mystery lay in the dirt beneath his feet.

“Who understands everything about the universe? There’re plenty of unexplained happenings,” Colin replied, in an effort to reassure himself of something he still found incredible.

“Yes, but those are things we can substantiate. How do you prove time travel exists?” The whispered question hung in the air.

“And how do you prove it doesn’t, my friend?” Colin countered. Such a dilemma.

Gus drew in a long breath and whistled it out through his teeth. “That’s a lot to take on faith.”

“Yeah, well, it gets easier as time goes on. I want you to be prepared for when she returns to her own time. When that happens, she’ll no longer exist here in 1874.”

“You truly believe she’s come from the future?” At Colin’s nod he said, “And you’re sure she has to return?” When Colin again nodded, Gus swore. “I knew it was too good to be true. With Libby’s help, things were getting too easy around here. I should have known better than to believe it would last.” Gus met his gaze again, holding it for too long.

Rather than risk exposing what lay in his heart, Colin couldn’t maintain eye contact.

“My God, you’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

The question sounded too much like an accusation, telling him he’d been unsuccessful in hiding the truth.

He sighed as Gus added, “Damn, Colin, she’s barely out of the schoolroom.”

“Don’t worry, my good man. She’s old enough.” A strangled laugh burst forth as he waved off Gus’s concern.

“She can’t be much older than sixteen.”

“Libby’s twenty-three, which is old enough.”

Eyebrows raised, Gus studied him. “I don’t have to worry about your conduct toward her, do I?”

More halfhearted laughter erupted, but Gus didn’t appear to find a similar humor in the situation. “I’m serious.” He stiffened, and any and all amusement faded from his face. “She’s under my protection. If your intentions toward her aren’t honorable, I’ll have to ask you to refrain from being with her. ”

Colin sobered. “You know me better than that. I’d marry her tomorrow if I thought we had a future together. Besides, Libby can take care of herself. She has a way of putting me in my place and is plenty old enough to know her mind. I doubt she’d let anyone take advantage of her, unless it was her choice.
Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy her company.” Gus didn’t say anything, merely waited for Colin to go on. “I’m spending time with her. I plan to take advantage of whatever time we have left. Just so you know, she’ll continue to be with me in the afternoon for a couple of hours each day. She’s also agreed to accompany me to Louisville.” When Gus started to object, Colin put up his hand. “I’ll find a companion for her. She’ll have proper protection. I don’t want anyone to think less of her because she’s with me. But like it or not, Gus, she’s going.”

Gus remained silent for a few minutes
, obviously mulling Colin’s revelations around in his head. Finally he asked, “If what you say is true and Libby can’t stay here, what happens when she travels back to her time? I can’t help think that you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.”

Colin took a deep breath as a lonely ache wormed its way to his heart. His gaze roamed over the rolling hills. Several horses frolicked in the distance, holding his attention for an extended moment before his focus returned to Gus.

“No need to worry about me,” he said in a pained tone. “I can take care of myself. I’m a big boy who knows the rules.”

“That’s the problem, Colin. You’ve always followed the rules and where has it gotten you? No one deserves happiness more than you. I know you didn’t have it with Abigail.”

“Abby has nothing to do with this.” Colin’s tone was clipped, expressing his refusal to discuss his dead wife.

“I disagree. She has everything to do with it,” Gus practically snarled. “I watched Abigail’s bitterness tear you apart. Find another woman.” His gaze turned pleading. “If what you say is true, then don’t set yourself up with someone you can’t have.”

“Too late, Gus. I aim to ride this one to the finish.”

Gus jumped down and prepared to undo the gate to release the mare. “It’s obvious you’re set on your course, but what about Libby?”

“What about her?” Colin put his hand behind his neck and rubbed, thinking about the question, not liking the answer. “I know she’d never be happy here forever, but while she’s here, I’ll do everything in my power to please her.”

“What about her happiness when she returns to her future life? If she becomes involved with you, she could be hurt in the end.”

“That’s her decision to make, not yours or mine,” Colin said.

Sighing,
Gus said, “I may be overstepping my bounds, but I’m worried. You’re more like a brother to me than an employer. Plus, I’ve come to care for Libby. I’d hate to see two good people suffer because they were foolish.”

“Isn’t that what love is all about?” Colin said, giving in to another self-deprecating laugh. “We’re all foolish when we fall in love. It comes with the territory. I certainly never expected love to happen, but now that it has I need to follow my heart.”

“I’ve said my piece.” Gus grunted. “Tread carefully, my friend.” His attention returned to the mare. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to accommodate our big boy over there.” He nodded at the stallion prancing across the paddock. “I’ll take this mare in and bring out another that’s more ready.”

“I’ll help,” Colin said, thankful to have the subject dropped.
Gus’s warning came days too late. Like runaway horses in a thunderstorm, Colin’s feelings had taken off. He only hoped that Lord Tennyson knew what he was talking about with his poem about better having loved and lost than never having loved at all. He didn’t want to contemplate the alternative.

~

Libby watched Nathan cautiously make his way toward the frisky colt. Her thoughts were not on work, but on her time with Colin. A surge of pleasure shot throughout her system over his comment about falling in love. She couldn’t pretend it hadn’t affected her. The fact that her feelings matched his lifted a huge weight off her shoulders. Of course, she refused to listen to the loud clanging bells of her conscience. She had the rest of her life to deal with it, once she went home. Colin was in the here and now and she intended to take advantage of the situation while she could. She might never get another chance at experiencing the love he had to offer.