Time to Love Again (9 page)

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Authors: Roseanne Dowell

BOOK: Time to Love Again
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Molly said Linda, Francis's wife, e-mailed her occasionally and they received the token Christmas card, but for the most part, they had lost touch.

Sad, how things changed.

But what fun they had in those earlier days. The crafts she, Emma, and Louise got together and worked on brought another smile to Rose.

Even now she pictured some of the ceramics, embroidery, and cross stitch they did. Gifts they made for each other and friends and family. One particular gift came to mind that Emma made a few years before their parents died.

A framed cross stitch– "God Made Us a Family We Belong to Each Other" it read. Rose had given it to Melinda for her first wedding anniversary.

 
Frank even went out and bought Rose a kiln so they didn't have to take their green-ware someplace for firing. She loved those days. Missed them. Wished somehow they could go back. But life moved forward and there wasn't any going back.

 
How time changes things, Rose thought, as she ambled around, not knowing or caring the direction she was going. Kids grow up, time passes, and life goes on around you. It didn't matter if you liked the changes, they happened, you had to make the best of them. Loved ones died and life went on.

God, how she missed Emma and Frank. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't pick up the phone to call her sister. Even today when they called about Louise her first thought was to call Emma.

Louise was a good friend, but no one could replace Emma. Not that she would change places and have Louise gone instead. She wanted them both.

Emma and Louise had often tried to talk her into joining a singles group after Frank died– to meet a companion, they said. Like they knew what she needed. Right a companion. She didn't want a companion. She wanted someone to love her.

She wanted Frank.

No one understood her vow not to marry again when Frank died. They just didn't get it. The love of her life was gone. Rose knew if she ever could replace him, which she doubted, she couldn't bear burying another husband.

She still grieved the loss of Frank and Emma, her two dearest friends. What would she do if Louise died too? She'd be alone in the world.

It hurt too much to even think of it. No, Louise couldn't die. God couldn't take her. That was that.

 
"Hurt and sorrow are a part of life." Emma's voice sounded in her ear. "They help you grow. You know life isn't all peaches and cream. It's full of peaks and valleys. This is one of the valleys, climb up to the peak again."

Damn voice. She tried to shake it off, stopped and kicked at the snow. She didn't want to make new friends. It hurt too much when they went out of her life. The fear of losing Louise terrified her. Rose's heart pounded through her chest, her hands trembled, and the tears fell.

In the past several days, she had cried so much one would think she was cried out. Now, with her friend lying in a hospital bed, maybe dying. It was just too much. If Louise died too...No, she wouldn't think of that.

One thing she knew for sure, life wasn't certain and it was entirely too short.

Rose looked up and found herself in front of the hospital. How many times had she stood here?

First with her parents, then Frank, and finally with Emma. Each time her heart ached a little more. She didn't think it could hurt any worse.

No, it would break completely.

Please, Lord, she prayed, don't take the only friend I have left in this world.

"What would you do if Louise died?" Emma refused to be quiet. "You won't have anyone left. It's time to make new friends. You can't live like this– look how unhappy you are."

But she didn't want new friends. She wanted the one she had.

She wanted Louise.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Fifteen

 

Rose hurried inside, trying to ignore Emma's nagging voice. Damn, she was tired of arguing with her. Where had she come from anyway? Why would Emma come back and bother her like this? It was certainly causing a lot of turmoil inside her. She shoved it away, tried to ignore the logic of it.

 
Could Emma be right? Maybe she needed to make friends, get on with her life. No, that wasn't the answer. She liked her life.

Didn't she?

Something about the man getting on the elevator looked familiar. Caused a quiver in her stomach. It looked like her neighbor. The doors closed before she could be certain. Now she was seeing people. And her neighbor of all things.

Stephen Daniels, yes that was his name. Her eyes were playing tricks on her that's all. What would he be doing here? And even if he was, why should she care? She wished the thumping in her heart would stop. Why did seeing someone who looked like Stephen cause such a reaction? She almost chuckled.

She knew what Louise would say. Smitten.

Ridiculous, of course she wasn't. Just the tension of the day that's all.

She went back to the waiting room and found George, Molly, and Mark in a deep conversation. Philip and Julia sat off to the side and carried on a conversation of their own. At least some of the tension had cleared. They had made a break through. But she knew they had more to deal with. More hurt to heal. Problems didn't just go away because something bad happened and scared you.

 
No, the problems were yet to be resolved, but at least they acted more like a family now. Funny, how life threw you a curve and you realized how short it was, how silly arguments were.

How many families had been brought together because of an illness or death of a loved one? Too bad it took something so drastic to make everyone wake up. Life was just too short and anger and harsh words shouldn't cause a rift in families. All families had disagreements. Most dealt with them.

Like her and Emma. How often had they agreed to disagree? Nothing wrong with that. She knew there were certain things she wasn't going to change Emma's mind about and vice versa. Same thing with her and Frank. Everyone couldn't agree about everything. What a boring world it would be if they did. She and Frank certainly had their share of disagreements. Sometimes she got downright mad at him. A few times she wondered if they'd work things out. But they always had. Sure, sometimes she had to give in or Frank did. Sometimes there just wasn't any compromise. It depended on the situation as to which one of them gave. But in the end what did it matter? All those disagreements didn't mean a thing.

George motioned her toward them and handed her a fresh cup of coffee. "Are you okay?" He put his arm around her.

"I'm fine."

"We're allowed to see Louise soon. Family members are allowed to see her for a few minutes each hour. I listed you as Louise's sister." He held up his hand as if to prevent her objections. "You know Louise thinks of you as the sister she never had, and I know she'll want to see you."

Rose nodded.

Did she want to see Louise– that was the bigger question?

She knew what to expect, the tubes and machines. Could she handle it? Before she had any more time to think about it, a nurse came out and motioned for them to follow. George ushered her into the Coronary Care Unit.

Still groggy from surgery, Louise opened her eyes for a minute and managed a smile for her friend. Rose stood by the side of the bed and took Louise's hand. George stood on the other side and stroked her forehead.

 
Louise's face, pale and void of make-up, scared Rose. Hair tousled, dark circles rimmed her eyes as if someone had blackened them. The remnants of surgery didn't surprise Rose. She had expected it, had seen it many times before, but it was so uncharacteristic of her friend's usually perfect appearance, her usual vibrant, healthy look.

Rose tried to think of an excuse to make her escape. It tore at her heart to see Louise in this condition, hooked to all the life monitoring machines and tubes. She glanced at the clock, thanked God her time was up.

She leaned over and kissed her friend's cheek. "I love you," Rose whispered.

Louise squeezed her hand. A tear fell from Rose's eye. She turned to make her escape; sending up another silent prayer for her friend.

"I have errands to run." Rose made her excuse to George. "I'll come back later." She promised.

 
The family wanted time alone with their mother, and too many visitors would only exhaust Louise. George was too kind to ask her to leave, maybe he even welcomed her, but she doubted it. The family needed time alone. Time to adjust. This was a lot to deal with and they still needed to work out the problems between them.

Molly walked with Rose to the door, and hugged her. "Thank you for coming."

 
"Thank you for calling me."

"I know how hard this is on you, Aunt Rose."

Rose smiled at the endearment Molly hadn't used in years.

"I'll call you if there's any change," Molly added.

"Thanks." Rose patted Molly's back. "You take care." She kissed Molly's cheek and hurried down the hall. She had to get away. Had to go someplace where she could break down, let loose of the tears straining to get out. She didn't want to hold back anymore. Her insides trembled, and she needed to find a place to sit down.

 
She hurried to the elevator and looked down at her feet.

 
Dear Lord, she had on one black and one brown shoe. No wonder her feet felt funny. One had a higher heel than the other. In her haste to dress she hadn't noticed. Who in their right mind would put on two different shoes and not notice? She burst out laughing. Several people looked at her, but she didn't care. Laughing helped take some of the stress away.

 
She hurried to her car, pulled open the door, almost fell on the seat and took a deep breath. She started to laugh. Loud, hysterical laughter that soon turned to deep, body-wracking sobs. She leaned her head on the steering wheel. Why had this happened? Why now before the holidays?

Poor Louise, poor George.

She wanted to scream. Wanted to lash out at someone, something. Anything. The best she could do was pound her fist on the steering wheel. Poor everybody. She had to get control.

Finally cried out, at least she hoped– she wiped her eyes and pulled herself together. She had to go home. She couldn't sit here like this all day. She'd come back later and see Louise. Although, her friend wouldn't remember much of today, she had to do it. Had to see Louise again for herself. Needed to make sure she was all right.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Sixteen

 

Rose drove home emotionally and physically drained. She pulled into her drive and looked forward to kicking off her shoes and just letting go. She wanted a cup of tea and a comfortable chair to curl up in. Then she could cry her heart out.

What the...? It looked like her front door stood open. She parked the car, slid out, and hurried up the walk.

Sure enough the door swung lose on its hinges. Someone had broken in. She pulled her cell phone out of her purse, dialed nine, one, one, and ran back to her car.

"Nine, one, one, what is your emergency?"

"I...someone broke into my house." She could barely speak.

"I'm sorry, ma'am you'll have to speak up."

"Someone broke into my house," Rose repeated through tears.

"Are they there now?"

"I don't know. I'm outside in my car. The door is swinging lose on its hinges. The lock is broken." Rose felt like she was rambling.

"Ma'am I need your address," the operator said.

"Oh, uh, 351 Maple Spring Drive."

"The police are on their way. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. Thank you. Goodbye." Rose hung up before the operator had time to respond. Already, she heard the sirens. She sat in her car until the police arrived.

"Ma'am, I'm Sergeant Pilsner. Did you go into the house?"

 
She shook her head.

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