Time Off for Good Behavior (26 page)

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Authors: Lani Diane Rich

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***

 


I haven

t smoked since Elizabeth got pregnant with Alex,

Jack said, blowing a smoke ring into the chilled air. He took a sip of his Scotch and sat back in the porch chair.


Ah,

I said,

count yourself among the many who have fallen under the bad influ
ence of Wanda Lane.

I stubbed my cigarette out in the cracked saucer we were using for an ashtray, exhaling my last bit of smoke into the night.

What are you doing here, Jack?


I told you,

he said.

I was checking on the house.


No,

I said.

That was
an hour ago. Why are you sitting here, on Thanksgiving, smoking cigarettes with a stranger? Why aren

t you with your biddy?

He looked away from his smoke rings.

Biddy?

I gave him cynical eyes.

You expect me to believe that a guy who couldn

t keep it i
n his pants while he was married is biddyless now that he

s single? That

s a hard line to sell, Jack.

He shook his head.

You never let up, do you?


On a typical day, no.


Fine. Fair

s fair. The kids told me you were invited to go to Cheryl

s. What are
you
doing here drinking and smoking alone on Thanksgiving?

I pulled a fresh cigarette from the pack.

I

m not alone. You

re here.


You know what I mean.

I shrugged.

I

m not into holidays.

He nodded, took another drink. There was a long pau
se, then,

There

s no hope for me, is there?

I sighed, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

Personally, I think your last chance ran out the door stuck to the naked ass of Ms. Hastings Flowers. But my opinion doesn

t matter because I

m not the one
who decides what Elizabeth wants.


Yeah,

he said, leaning back.

I know.


And it occurs to me,

I said, because I just couldn

t resist poking at a sore spot,

that if you really want Elizabeth back, you could start by dropping the lawsuit against her.

He rubbed his hands over his face.

Yeah. I know. It

s just... She wouldn

t talk to me...


So... you thought you

d win her favor by suing her and forcing her to see you in court?

I snorted out a laugh.

I hate to be the one to break it to you, man, but y
ou definitely are stupider than you look.

He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and stared out into the night.

You may not believe this, but I

m not a bad guy. I

m a stupid guy. I love Elizabeth. I love my kids.

He paused.

I didn

t even like Ms. Hast
ings Flowers.

There was a long silence. I thought he was done. I was wrong.


I guess I was so scared of losing everything that I just threw it all away on purpose. Like I said, stupid.

I looked over at him. His face was tight, his eyes radiating misery.
As much as I didn

t want to admit it, Jack Mackey and I were two peas in a pod.


For what it

s worth, Jack,

I said,

I don

t think it

s hopeless. I

m not saying you don

t have a lot to make up for, but I don

t think it

s hopeless.

He raised his eyes to m
e, looked over his shoulder and then back at me with a sly smile.

I

m sorry, Wanda, is that you? Are you being nice to me? Did the laws of nature just reverse or what?

I raised my glass.

For both of our sakes, let

s hope so.

We toasted, and each of us
drank, then sat together in silence, two people bonded by stupidity.

 

Chapter Eight

 


Forgive me, Father, but I

m still screwed up.

I leaned back in the confessional and rested my head against the wall, looking up all the way to the cathedral ceiling. It
hadn

t occurred to me that there wouldn

t be a top on the confessional box. Maybe that was so the confession could drift right on up to God. Maybe it was so the confessional wouldn

t be too dark. Maybe it was so the parish could afford those rocking stai
n
ed-glass windows.


Do I know you?

I picked my head up and looked at the grate.

You might not remember me. I

m Wanda, the woman who

s not Catholic? Came in here talking about how my horrible ex-husband drove my family away? You were really mean to me and
made me cry? Told me to do something meaningful?


Oh.

I could practically hear him smiling.

Yes. Any chance you

re actually going to join the church someday and make this clandestine relationship of ours official?

Clandestine.
Vocab points for Father Hard-Ass.

Do you think that would help me?


Why would I think that?

I smiled.

It

s kinda dead out there today, Father. I didn

t see a single other sinner when I came in. I thought y

all might be closed.


It

s the day after Tha
nksgiving. They

re all at the mall.


Ah.

I paused.

The father coughed. A beat. Then


Wanda? You still there?


Yeah. I

m just thinking.


Well, it

s your dime, but since you

re here, you might as well think out loud.

Okay.

Have you always known what y
ou wanted, Father?

That seemed to take him by surprise. He paused, then came back with,

I

m not sure I know what you mean.


Well, being a priest is a pretty big commitment.


You could say that.


Did you always know? That it was what you wanted out of
life?

Another pause.

Are we talking about me?


No.

I sighed and leaned my head back, staring up at the cathedral ceiling and performing a conversational free fall.

I just... I

m going through this thing right now. There

s this guy, this wonderful man
who cares about me for God knows what reason... and then there are a bunch of sticky notes I have to go through... and I keep hearing this music that no one else can hear... It

s a long story. I guess what it all comes down to is that I

m trying to figur
e
out what I want out of life, and I

m not getting anywhere. I

ll be honest with you, I

m a little frustrated.


Well, if it

s any comfort, that

s not an easy question for anybody to answer.


Yeah, I know,

I said.

Blah, blah, blah.

I heard him huff thro
ugh the grate.

You know, there

s a rabbi down the street who has office hours on Fridays.


You trying to get rid of me?


No, not at all.


Good, because I have another question for you.


That

s what I

m here for.


This whole

Do something meaningful

thing. What did you mean by that?


I think it

s pretty self-explanatory.


I

m not that clever, Father.

He chuckled. It echoed off the small space and lifted upward. I was beginning to like the confessional.

I doubt that.


It

s just that I don

t

thank you

I don

t know what to do. My friend and her ex-husband are still in love with each other. There

s a lot of bad water under the bridge, but they

ve got these great kids, and I think, you know, if I can help them get back together, then that would
b
e meaningful, right?

Silence.


Right?

I asked again. Father Hard-Ass was being a little slow on the uptake.


Well,

he said,

getting involved in other people

s relationships can be big trouble. Especially if they don

t want you involved.

I sighed.

Yea
h, that

s what I thought, too, but I

m really desperate to do something meaningful.

Pause.

Then it seems like you have a choice to make.

Well, duh.

Yes. That

s why I

m here.

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