Tight (14 page)

And the hardest part wasn’t the pain — it did exist, but he allowed me pills. The hardest part was when I was told the reason, Master stopping on his way out to deliver the news, my captured teeth in a Ziploc bag hanging from his hand. When I was told that it was for when the remains of my body were found.

“I’m sorry, Kitten. Your hope was keeping you too strong, making it too difficult. Later, you’ll understand, you’ll appreciate this.”

I
did
actually, some time later, appreciate it. Not for the loss of hope, but that he didn’t take a finger or toe to use to stage my death. The teeth hurt, but I wasn’t left with any deformities or outward scars. When I tested a smile at the dusty mirror above the sink, I looked normal. As normal as a girl in a basement cell could look. A girl who had a habitual black eye and split upper lip.

After he pulled my teeth, I struggled, through the haze of medication and pain, to speak, to ask intelligent questions. But he silenced me, laying a firm hand over my sore mouth, his lips coming down to my forehead with a soft press. “It’s only hard for a brief while,” he whispered against my hairline. “The quicker you let go, the better it will be.”

I had stilled, hating the weight of his hand, the heat of his breath, the brush of his lips. Had fallen into the role of dutiful slave, the one who pleased him, the one who limited the level of contact that was needed. I laid still, the fight going out of my features, my muscles falling limp, my questions disappearing, replaced by the simple thought that
Iwillneverletgo
. A tear leaked down my cheek when I closed my eyes, and I breathed easier when he released my mouth, his lips leaving my forehead in one wet smack, the creak of his shoes heard when he stood. I lay in place, my jaw aching, more tears streaming, and repeated the mantra.

I would never let go.

I loved Brett, and he would keep looking.

I would never let go.

I loved Brett, and he would keep...

The medication took me away.

“So you
do
want me to come.”

I swallowed a big gulp of Mountain Dew. “Yes. But I want you to understand what you’re getting into.”

“I’ve been to weddings before. I have a tux.”

“God no.
Don’t
wear a tux.” Yep, a definite disaster. Gargantuan.

He laughed. “Okay. You seem stressed about this.”

“I am. Terrified actually.”

“Then I won’t go.”

I took a deep breath. Jumped off the cliff. “I think you should. I will be a basket case and everything that can possibly go wrong will, but I think you should come. Really.”

“I don’t want you to feel forced into this.”

Now I laughed. “I don’t want to force
you
into it.”

“Anything involving you I’ll never have to be forced into. Trust me on that.”

I was losing this battle, my caution not strong enough to fight the fall of my heart. “Okay.”

“When should I arrive? This invitation says the wedding’s next Saturday night.”

“Are you working that weekend?” He seemed to work every weekend, our trips often interspersed with his meetings or functions. I didn’t mind. It gave me some alone time, a chance to visit the spa or catch up on my reading. Or more recently, catch up with the girls on my new phone.

“Nothing I can’t get someone else to handle.”

“Then come Friday. You can stay with me.” I felt suddenly shy, like the assumption of his lodging was forward – even though we’d left the separate rooms arrangement back in Aruba.

“And what about this weekend? Can I steal you for a few days? The Caribbean weather is supposed to be perfect.”

I groaned. “I can’t. Chelsea has us all working overtime. Saturday night we’re having a sleepover at her house and assembling the favors. She’ll kill me if I flake out.” It was true. She
literally
would. She’d already described to me how she’d do it (strangle me with her garter belt), and where she’d put my body (in Lake Talquin, weighted down with the party favors I so carelessly skipped out on). Plus, forgetting the imminent threat of death, there was the fact that I missed my friends.

“A sleepover?”

I lost a little of my stress in the giggle at his response. “Yes, a sleepover. What, you and your friends don’t have sleepovers?”

“Are hair braiding and naked pillow fights involved?”

“Oh yes,” I teased, dropping my voice lower while simultaneously shaking out the popcorn into a bowl. What could I say? I was a good multitasker. Could pull off sexy seductress and gourmet dinner preparer, all at the same time. “Naked pillow fights are right before skinny dipping and whipped cream wrestling.”

“Fine.” He let out a troubled exhale. “It’ll be a long two weeks.”

I smiled. “For me too.”

“So … no tux?”

“No!” I said sharply. “Khakis and a button-up.” Granted, had it been up to Chelsea’s expensive Atlanta wedding planner, tuxes would have been standard. We’d had to remind her, several times over the last year, that ninety-nine percent of the attendees were country folk and not millionaires. “No tie.” I added. “And even in
that
, I can’t guarantee you won’t be called a city boy.”

“It’s okay. I kinda
am
a city boy.”

I smiled. And in that moment, despite everything stacked against us, I felt a glimmer of hope that we would survive the wedding weekend.

3 months, 2 weeks before

tight (tīt)

(adj.)
barely allowing time for completion

“a tight schedule”

It was official. Brett was coming to the wedding which meant he was coming
here
, would stay in my house, touch my stuff, pet my dog. Would meet my friends again, my parents—oh god, my
father
. All because Chelsea couldn’t mind her own business. I stared at my living room in a mild state of panic. I’d had two weeks to prepare; this wasn’t a surprise. Had twelve days and nights to work down my carefully written “to do” list.

Twelve days. And yet, two hours before Brett landed¸ only three items were crossed off.

Get a manicure/pedicure.

Shave.

Wash all dirty clothes.

Fold all clothes.

Drop off dry cleaning.

Stock the kitchen with enough food to look normal.

Buy candles and burn throughout house the week before.

Do baseboards.

Change sheets.

Wipe down all surfaces and toss all trash.

Hide all clutter.

Move high school awards and items to garage.

Track down and hide all Modern Bride issues.

Throw away ruffled pillows and toilet seat cover.

Hide super tampon boxes and any embarrassing bathroom/medication items.

Kidnap Megan, Tammy, Jena, and Mitzi and lock them away until Brett leaves.

Okay, so the last item was a joke. Sort of. A joke only because the feasibility of kidnapping four bridesmaids in such a short time frame seemed a bit ambitious for a novice criminal. But, even if I threw that item off the list, I still had a shitload of work to do in a short length of time. I moved to the bedroom, sweeping my hair into a ponytail and unbuttoning my shirt with hasty fingers. I stepped out of my skirt and moved to the dresser before retracing my steps, picking up the discarded items and putting them into the hamper.

I was sure there were normal individuals out there who
liked
cleaning ... but I hated it. Hated it
with a passion
. If there were a way to murder Cleaning in the study with a candlestick, I’d be the guilty Miss Scarlet. I normally straightened up on Sunday mornings, sometime between cereal and an afternoon nap. But my weekend excursions with Brett had pushed those Sunday cleanings off by ... four weeks? Five? I mentally added “Clean toilet” to the list. Then I changed into a T-shirt and jean shorts and got to work.

***

Two hours and forty-three minutes later, my panic had reached a more manageable level, one where exhaustion sat on its chest and made it shut the hell up. I swapped my sweaty tee for a cute tank top and grabbed my keys, giving the house a quick glance over before heading for the car.

It looked good. Clean, but not like I’d prepared for him. For once, I was grateful for such a small home, the dirt not having too much square footage in which to hide. Checking my watch, I swore at the time, grabbing my cell from the counter and running out the door.

***

“You hungry?” I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel, noting, for the first time, the cracks in its vinyl. I wondered what kind of car Brett drives. Seems weird that I didn’t know that. That I hadn’t been to his city, his house.

“Starving. I had some crackers on the plane, but nothing else.” He relaxed in the passenger seat, his hand resting on the back of my headrest, the faint scent of soap and a light cologne drifting over with his shift into place.

My stomach growled, as if it had the right to input an opinion. The sound reminded me of my failure to eat, not since eleven this morning, when I scarfed down a Wendy’s chicken salad behind the tellers. I probably burned a thousand calories during my cleaning frenzy. I was surprised my body hadn’t gone into shock.

“What’s a good local restaurant?”

I smiled. “Beverly’s is good, just be prepared.”

“For what?”

“Everything.” Might as well rip off the Band-Aid now. On the upside, it
was
after eight. Maybe the dinner crowd had thinned.

***

Nope
. The dinner crowd was still in full force when I pulled into the gravel lot. My eyes scanned and recognized at least ten of the trucks in the lot. I felt a pit form in my cavernously empty stomach.

“Lots of trucks,” Brett commented.

“Farming is a major industry here. Add that to the redneck factor, and you’ve got testosterone fighting via mud flaps at every four-way.” I put the car into park and leaned forward. Kissed him lightly on the lips. “Thank you for coming here.”

“Thank you for letting me.”

“It’s been nice knowing you.” I grinned wryly.

“It won’t be that bad, I promise.”

I kissed his naïve little mouth and turned off the car.