Ties That Bind (10 page)

“I think he’s already moved on,” she told him
miserably.

“Are you sure about that?” He was
doubtful.

“He gets several calls a day that he won’t
take in front of me. And he hasn’t even tried to speak to me since
the night at the symphony.”

“You mean, the night when you asked him for
space?” He asked pointedly.

“Yeah, that would be the night.”

“Oh my dear sweet girl. Don’t worry your
pretty little head about it tonight. It’ll all work itself out,” he
held his hand out to her. “And we’re already late so come on.”

Kate paused briefly over her shoe collection,
her eyes misting when her gaze tripped over the lone purple high
heel still sitting in her closet. Memories of that day with Gavin
flooded her like a tidal wave. She blinked a few times, grabbing
the first pair of heels she saw and closing the closet door firmly.
Rational thought told her to get rid of the shoe. Something
altogether different made her keep it. Kate grabbed her house key,
her money, and her ID on the way out the door. She slid them in her
pocket, thinking life was so much easier without a purse. They were
met on the sidewalk in front of the Mezzanine by a very anxious
Jessica and Liz.

“I promise we didn’t know,” Jessica blurted
out before they’d even said hello.

“Excuse me?” Kate was baffled.

“When we said he wouldn’t be here, we had no
idea. He didn’t tell any of us, although I guess he doesn’t have to
report his every move but still, you think he would have mentioned
this somewhere along the way,” Jessica seemed to be getting
agitated with someone and Kate could only assume it was Gavin.

“Jessica, breathe honey. Let me take over,”
Liz placed a calming hand on Jessica’s shoulder. “Apparently Gavin
sometimes fills in for a buddy of his, who is the lead in an Irish
punk band. Go figure.”

“And he’s playing here tonight?” Kate
surmised.

“Pretty much, yeah.” Liz nodded.

“Pretty much?”

“Okay, just yeah.”

“Okay,” Kate took a deep breath and looked at
Gaston as if he would have some answer to her dilemma.

“You can’t avoid him forever, Katie. He’s
part of your world now. Suck it up and get inside.” He nudged her
towards the door.

“Not what I was looking for,” she pouted, but
obediently pulled out her money to pay. “Alright, let’s do
this.”

“Oh thank goodness. Ryan and Derrick refused
to leave. They really like Gavin,” Jessica breathed a sigh of
relief. She hated conflict.

“Awesome. He’s really good, you know,” Liz
clapped and led them to the rest of the little group.

As much as Kate didn’t want to admit it, he
actually was very good. His voice was soothing if not clearly
intelligible. It was a little reminiscent of the tender crooning
he’d done when she was crying. And there was something undeniably
sexy about a man on stage singing.

At first she was able to watch him unnoticed.
He was busy, the girls had gone to dance with their boyfriends and
Gaston had gone to get them cocktails. So she was free to drink in
the sight of him. And then their eyes locked. A smile tugged at the
corner of his lips. A flush heated Kate’s face. The band moved into
a livelier number and Kate welcomed the opportunity to whisk Gaston
onto the dance floor.

Dancing with her best friend from a time when
she was a much freer spirit, it was almost possible to forget that
it was Gavin singing words of love, yearning and redemption on that
stage. Almost. When she closed her eyes, the music would pour over
her and nearly carry her away. It was exquisite bliss.

“We’ve got time for one more,” his accent
seemed thicker now. Was it for show or from exertion? “So I’d like
to dedicate this next song to an old friend of mine who thinks I
don’t know enough classics.”

Kate froze. Somehow she didn’t think he meant
long-time friend when he said old. Classics? What was he about to
do? He ducked his head, but not quickly enough to hide the smile.
The opening guitar riff was instantly recognizable, even with the
somewhat folksier feel it had been given. Kate sank into a nearby
chair, completely transfixed on the man whose eyes were now looking
into hers. Her heart twisted as he played an Aerosmith song that
would have been a much more acceptable answer that day in the
canoe. Only it was more than that now. She knew he was telling her
everything she wouldn’t allow him to say.

He was tired of the walls. He’d suffered. He
wanted her to save him. She was his Angel. It was one of those
moments that seem to last an eternity. She wanted to run away. She
was completely rooted to her spot. All of the what-ifs wound around
the never-to-bes and both got twisted up with the words he sang.
Her breath started to come more quickly.

Was that pain her heart breaking again or
just another panic attack? Either way, the safest course of action
seemed to be flight. Just as Gavin hit the last chord, she was out
the door. She’d go back later to tell them where she was. For now,
she just needed some fresh air. She ignored the looks she got when
she burst through the front doors, instead finding a spot to lean
against the wall and take in great gulps of night air.

She didn’t get the chance to find equilibrium
since he was there right behind her. Her muddled brain wondered if
he’d darted off the stage as he placed an arm firmly on either side
of her. He’d effectively trapped her but that didn’t seem to be
enough torture because he was leaning into her as well, pressing
his body against hers and keeping his head within a breath of
hers.

“That’s not the reaction I was hoping for,”
he grinned.

“You should be used to that by now,” she
suppressed a small grin of her own.

“Should I have played Crying instead? Or
maybe Crazy. Both would have fit pretty well.”

“You’re not helping your cause by calling me
crazy,” Kate pointed out.

“True,” he acknowledged. “But it’s fun to
watch you heat up.”

“Are you going to let me off of this wall?”
Kate tilted her head to look up at him.

“In a minute, I have something to say
first.”

“Then say it,” she tried to wriggle free but
only succeeded in making herself more keenly aware of his proximity
so she held really still.

“Your mom changed her name. It used to be
Danielle Williams. That’s why Jack doesn’t recognize your last
name.”

“Thank you,” Kate closed her eyes briefly and
leaned her head against him for a moment.

“I want to gather you in my arms and tell you
that time is up. I want to whisk you back to my loft and tell you
no more space between us,” he growled, catching her chin with his
hand and tilting her face up so his lips could claim hers. There
was a need that seemed newer, fresher, edgier than it had been
before. She almost wondered if he would do just that – whisk her
home and declare an end to her time and space. But he didn’t. As
usual, just when she was completely and thoroughly his to do with
as he pleased, he pulled away.

“Now isn’t the time for that, though,” he
said with great effort. “I have to leave for a bit, next week.”

“Excuse me?” Kate stiffened in an
instant.

“I’m going back to London for a while. I
can’t really say for sure how long I’ll be gone…” he seemed to be
choosing his words carefully. Had Kate been in a more stable frame
of mind, she might have heard the pain etched in his voice. As it
was, she trembled with fury – or was it fear? He was leaving her.
Before he could finish his explanation, and before she could
embarrass herself further by crying in front of him yet again or
begging him to stay, she stomped his toe with all the force she
could muster and used his reaction as her window of escape. When
she was safely in a cab on her way home, she called Gaston to let
him know why she’d bailed out on him. She’d feel worse about it but
was certain he could find better entertainment for the evening
anyway.

Kate spent the rest of her holiday weekend
holed up in her apartment. After a day of being nearly-catatonic,
she began to play the violin. It was a mournful sound full of
pain—but it was beautiful music nonetheless and it flowed through
her as if it had a life of its own. Kate found some amount of
solace in that. By Sunday evening, she was starting to scare the
drivers that delivered her sustenance. When Monday rolled around,
she forced herself to shower and put on makeup. She would not allow
Gavin to see her looking like this.

Their little office was morosely quiet that
morning. If Jack questioned the stony silence, he didn’t do so
aloud.

“Kate, maybe if you’d let Gavin explain why
he’s leaving,” Liz ventured the suggestion after several hours of
silence.

“I’m done with this lunacy,” Gavin growled.
“I’m not explaining anything… and neither are you.”

With that decree, he stormed out of the
office leaving three startled women in his wake.

“Liz, I’m so sorry. I don’t like that he’s
taking this out on you. I’m so sorry,” Kate blinked back tears.
What was her problem lately?

“No big deal,” Liz shook her head firmly. “He
didn’t mean it.” With that, she put her ear buds in and went back
to the page she was laying out.

“Hey, I’m on my way to have lunch with last
year’s marathon winner. We’re following his story for this year’s
race. He’s a fascinating guy – you should come,” Jessica
offered.

“You know what? I think I will,” Kate agreed
quickly. Anything to get her out of there.

It wasn’t far to the café so they walked.
Kate found she was immensely grateful for Jessica’s calming
personality. Kate was pleasantly surprised when Justin from the
Chronicle stopped by their table to say hi and asked her if she was
free for coffee in the next week.

Jessica had been right, Tom was a fascinating
man. He worked in IT, one of the companies to survive when the tech
bubble burst. He’d been a marathoner for several years.

“The first marathon I ever ran was in
Memphis. It was kind of funny and scary when I realized I would be
running the next day longer than it was taking me to get there.” He
leaned forward, his eyes lighting up at the memory.

“It was cold that morning, colder than most
years – 29 degrees – but that didn’t really concern me much because
it wasn’t raining or anything and I knew that a few miles into it I
would warm up. I felt great right from the start. Of course, that
ended up being part of the problem. I actually ran my best 10K and
then Half Marathon time ever. It is funny—everyone I asked for
advice told me, ‘Don’t go out too fast’ but that is exactly what I
did.” He chuckled. Kate found herself riveted by his story. The
idea of running for pleasure was completely foreign to her. She
much preferred her morning yoga routines.

“The thing is,” he continued, “at the time I
didn’t feel like I was going out too fast because it was pretty
easy. I was well rested and ready to go and had hit that pace a lot
in training. But then at about mile 15 ½, it became hard to hold
that pace and at 18 it became brutal. Miles 20 on were pretty
miserable, to be honest. I kept telling myself ‘Just go another
half mile and then you can rest for a minute.’ I had a blast for
the first 16, but everything after that was not fun. It didn’t feel
like a race, more like survival. When I was done I was so happy it
was over, it was almost more relief than joy.”

“I can’t even imagine doing that,” Jessica
shook her head. “It’s amazing.”

“I’m impressed,” Kate agreed. “The discipline
that must take….”

“Yeah, well,” he blushed. “I remember in the
last five miles that this strange silence came over me – even
though every mile there were these annoyingly loud bad bands
playing. I went to this quiet place inside my head that just said
‘keep going.’”

Kate felt like she could relate to that.
Gavin was nearly gone, she could focus on work and Jack again. She
needed to find the quiet place inside her own head. Just keep
going.

“Oh, and the soreness for about six days was
something else…. Stairs felt like Mt. Everest,” Tom added with
another smile. Kate and Jessica both winced a little. They could
only imagine what that must have been like.

Kate walked away from the lunch thinking she
would pay attention to the outcome of this year’s marathon for a
change – and she’d root for Tom to win again.

That quiet place in her head that urged her
to just keep going did the trick. The day came when Gavin got on a
plane for London and she could breathe again. Well, after spending
the morning sobbing she could breathe again. She’d even met
Justin—the reporter from the Chronicle—for the coffee she’d
promised and made a lunch date with Alicia, a D.J. from the adult
alternative station in town. She’d intended to work late that first
day, but the longer she stayed, the more agitated Liz got.

“You really should go home now,” Liz finally
threw her hands up in the air, exasperated for some reason Kate
could not fathom.

“But I wanted to get a little more done. The
wedding is right around the corner,” Kate frowned, leaving off the
fact that she didn’t want to go home to a ridiculously silent
apartment yet again.

“You might need to go just to keep Liz from
hyperventilating. I think she’s worried about you spending too much
time here,” Jessica intervened. “Why don’t Ryan and I swing by for
dinner later?”

“Okay,” Kate hesitantly agreed, a little
confused. They rose to leave when she did. She looked from one to
the other and they sat back down quickly. Kate narrowed her eyes.
Might as well go home and see what they were up to.

She heard it as soon as she got off the
elevator on her floor. Surely they hadn’t. This was worse than the
supperclub incident. Oh no, surely not.