Ties That Bind (20 page)

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Authors: Brenda Jackson

BOOK: Ties That Bind
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Jenna was already out of the bed and taking off her nightgown. “I'll be there as soon as I can get a flight out. What about Noah? Have you told him?”
“No,” Leigh said sadly. “He hasn't called yet. He told me that he would be flying several missions this week and won't be calling until the middle of next week. I want to get a message to him but I don't know how he's going to take it. He and Ross were very close. I've got to get a grip and think about the best way to handle this.”
Later, as she quickly began packing, Jenna continued to think of Randolph and the pain he was going through. She wanted to be there for him. He needed her.
 
Angela couldn't believe Ross was dead. She had wanted to be free of him, but not like this. She could just imagine the pain Randolph was going through.
After assuring her parents and Ross's grandparents that she was fine, they had finally left. Now she found herself headed toward the house where she knew Randolph lived. According to the Fullers, he was in a bad way and refused to see anyone. Julia Fuller had even broken down and admitted that she had contacted Jenna Haywood.
Angela had been furious, embittered at the very thought that Jenna was on her way to DC to comfort Randolph. Angela didn't intend to have any of that. She had thought of a plan and intended for it to work.
She remembered the conversation she'd had with Kathy before leaving the apartment.
“Kathy, I need you to do me a big favor.”
Kathy lifted a brow. “What?”
Angela sighed. There was no need to pretend she was all torn up over Ross's death when Kathy of all people knew she wasn't. “A few weeks ago you mentioned experimenting with speed.”
Kathy studied Angela curiously. Drugs were something Angela usually stayed away from. “Yeah, what of it?”
“Tell me some more about it.”
Kathy smiled ruefully. Angela had a feeling Kathy had an idea why she wanted to know. “Speed is a harmless stimulant that can give you one
hell of a mind-blowing high. The effects will make you forget almost everything, especially your troubles. You began hallucinating, getting absorbed into a world filled with peace and harmony, calm, serenity and happiness.”
Kathy's smile widened. “At least you feel those things until the drug wears off, but it's comforting to know the experience is just another pill away whenever you want to get high again.”
Angela smiled, bringing her thoughts back to the present. Before leaving the apartment Kathy had given her enough of the pills to accomplish what she wanted to do.
She intended that she and Randolph would get high together.
 
Angela kept up a steady hard knock on Randolph's door, determined that he would eventually get up and let her in. She just hoped Jenna had not arrived yet. She gasped when he finally snatched the door open. Unshaven, and unkempt, blurry, bloodshot eyes filled with pain stared at her.
“Oh, Randolph,” she cried, throwing herself in his arms. “We've lost him! We've lost him,” she said, playing the part of the grief-stricken fiancée.
Randolph closed his eyes. The constant drinking had almost made him forget but the effects of all the alcohol he had consumed over the past fourteen hours was beginning to wear off. Now Angela's words were making him remember and he didn't want to remember. He had tried calling Jenna but didn't get an answer at her place in Memphis. Where was she? He needed her. He needed her so damn bad. He wanted Jenna here with him, not Angela.
He gently pushed Angela away from him. “Please go, Angela. I can't handle your being here. Go home and drown in your own misery. I want to be alone. Please leave.”
Angela forced more tears to spill down her cheeks. “But I can't leave you like this. Can I get you something? Make you something to eat? I bet you haven't even eaten.”
“No, I don't want anything. Please just leave.” And with that statement he turned to go back into his bedroom.
“Wait, Randolph! Ross and I were to get married and now I've lost him. You're not the only one who's hurting. I'm hurting, too!” she cried.
Randolph turned around slowly when her grief-stricken words penetrated his mind. She would hurt even worse when she discovered Ross, although engaged to her, had married someone else. Someone would have to eventually tell her the truth. But not now and not here, and definitely not before he got the chance to break the news to his grandparents about Ross's wife and child. A part of him forced his pain aside to help her deal with hers. He walked back over to her. “Don't cry, Angela. Let's talk. Maybe that will help.”
She nodded, satisfied he was no longer pushing her away.
“All right. Do you have anything I can drink? I need to pull myself together. Ross would not want me falling apart this way. But I can't help it. My heart feels like it's been ripped in two.”
“Yeah, I know the feeling. I'll get you something,” he said, turning toward the kitchen. “Will wine be okay?”
“Yes, that will be fine. And please share a glass with me.”
Randolph knew after consuming an entire bottle of Jack Daniels that the last thing he needed was another drink. But if joining Angela in a drink would make it easier for her to deal with her grief then he would do so. “All right.” He went into the kitchen.
Randolph returned carrying two glasses of wine and found Angela sitting down on his sofa. He sat in the chair across from her and placed the filled wineglasses between them.
“I'm sorry to ask you to get up again, but I could desperately use a tissue,” she said, wiping the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes with the back of her hands.
“That's no problem, I'll get you one.”
The moment Randolph had left the room Angela quickly dumped the speed into his glass then waited for him to return. Not wanting to take the chance of the pill not dissolving fast enough, she had ground it into a powdery substance before leaving her apartment.
She talked while he sat across from her, telling him how she and Ross had met, like he didn't know the entire story already. She talked nonstop and he listened. And as she spoke she watched him and
noticed the exact moment beads of sweat began forming on his brow and when his already bloodshot eyes became even more dazed. The combined effects of the alcohol and speed were working but she could see he was trying to fight both.
“Look, Angela,” he said standing, unsteady on his feet. “I'm sorry, but I'm beginning to feel funny. I need to go lie down. Please let yourself out.” He stumbled to the bedroom and closed the door.
Angela smiled. She wasn't going anywhere. She sat where she was for several moments before standing. She then slowly began removing her clothes. Leaving them in a heap on Randolph's living room floor she crossed the room to his bedroom and slowly opened the door, closing it behind her.
The drawn blinds made the room completely dark, and the air smelled of musk, alcohol and man. She saw Randolph lying flat on his back, looking up at her as if in a daze.
“Jenna?”
She caught her breath, then answered softly, “Yes, sweetheart, I'm here.”
He slowly got out of the bed and walked over to her and pulled her into his arms. “I hurt, Jenna. Please take away the hurt,” he said between kisses.
“I will, Randolph, I will.”
She let him take her into his arms and carry her over to the bed. She watched as he removed his clothes and rejoined her there, all the while calling her Jenna. And then he was on top of her and a few seconds later, he was inside of her. It didn't matter that she wasn't the virgin that Ross had thought her to be. To Randolph, this was a sweet dream anyway.
Randolph made love to her, bringing both of them to the highest peaks of fulfillment. Then before he could catch his breath, she was on top of him, doing all those things with her mouth and body that she had perfected over the years, just for him. When the two of them could not take any more pleasure, he collapsed from total exhaustion in her arms. She snuggled close to him and wondered how he would handle it when he woke up after the effects of the speed had worn off,
and realized that it was Angela, and not Jenna, who had shared his bed and his passion for the entire afternoon.
 
Jenna's hand tightened around the spare key she inserted into the lock of Randolph's door. She had tried calling him on the telephone before leaving Memphis but didn't get an answer. Then she'd been placed on standby to get a flight out. When she'd tried calling him from the airport, his phone line had been busy. It was a good thing that she hadn't had any problems getting a taxi from the airport, and she was grateful that he had given her a key to his place. If he was as drunk as Leigh said he was, he wouldn't be fit to get up and open the door.
The first thing she noticed after entering the house was the pile of woman's clothing on the floor, a blouse, a skirt, slip, bra and panties. She frowned, wondering if Ben had brought a girl over who'd had the bad taste to undress in the living room. In Jenna's opinion that was kind of tacky for any woman to do since two men and not one lived there.
Placing her suitcase next to the sofa, she softly crossed the floor to Randolph's bedroom and opened the door. The closed blinds made the room dark, so she turned on the lamp next to the bed.
Jenna gasped, not believing what she saw. Angela was in bed with Randolph. Both were asleep. And they were naked. Angela's body was draped over his while he held her in his arms. All the blood from Jenna's body rushed to her head, and then a degree of pain she had never experienced before tore into her when it was apparent what they had done. His betrayal felt like a knife that had been plunged into her heart.
With eyes filled with tears, she angrily shook Randolph awake. When his eyes opened, he looked up at her, confused, with a red, bloodshot gaze. “I don't believe you did this, Randolph! And with her!”
Before Randolph could gather his wits Jenna ran from the bedroom.
The lingering residue from any alcohol or drugs immediately washed from Randolph's mind with Jenna's painful outburst. He quickly pushed at the naked body draped across him and almost froze when he saw it was Angela.
“What the hell are you doing here?!” he asked as he frantically got out of bed and reached down to slip into his pants. He didn't remember a damn thing but right now the one thing he did know was that he had to stop Jenna from leaving.
Without waiting for Angela's response, he raced after Jenna. He found her in the kitchen hanging up the phone. She looked up and appeared further pained by the sight of him. “I called a cab,” she said, wiping tears from her eyes. “I'm going to wait outside.”
He made a move toward her and she backed away from him. “Jenna, please—”
“Jenna, please what? Listen to your explanation?” she asked as more tears clouded her eyes. “How can you explain having Angela naked in bed with you? It was apparent what the two of you had done. How can you explain that, Randolph?”
Randolph rubbed his palm across the back of his neck as his mind fumbled, trying to find an explanation. He remembered making love to someone, but in his mind it had been Jenna. “Jenna, all I remember is getting drunk yesterday. Nothing else is clear.”
“That's not good enough, Randolph,” she said, wiping away more tears. “I know what I saw with my own eyes and what's obviously clear to me.” She moved to walk past him and he reached out and touched her. She recoiled from him.
“Don't touch me!” she screamed, anger flaring in her features. “Don't you dare touch me after touching her. How could you make love to her when you're supposed to love me? And how could she let you make love to her when she's supposed to be in love with Ross?”
At the mention of Ross's name, pain—deep and sharp—cut into
Randolph's features to the point of puncturing Jenna's heart. Had he gotten that drunk trying to drown his sorrow that he had made love to the first available woman? Or had something been going on between him and Angela all along and she had been clueless?
“Has something been going on between you and Angela, Randolph?” she asked him quietly, desperately wanting to believe otherwise.
The sudden twist of his lips indicated he couldn't believe she could ask such a thing. “No, Jenna, I swear. I don't know what happened. But I do know that I love you, please believe me. I was stone drunk.” But he was even more confused by that notion. He remembered getting completely wasted earlier in the day but by the time Angela had arrived he had pretty much sobered up. Or had he?
“You weren't drunk on alcohol, Randolph, but on grief.”
Jenna and Randolph turned to the sound of Angela's voice. The woman hadn't bothered to get dressed but stood before them wearing of all things, Randolph's bathrobe. “What happened was that our grief was so great that it made us reach out to each other. One moment we were crying, comforting each other, and then next thing I know you had removed my clothes and taken me into your bedroom. I was so filled with grief that in my mind I pretended you were Ross. I would not have slept with you otherwise.”
Tears sprang into Angela's eyes. “I was a virgin holding myself for Ross and our wedding night. But I was too overwrought with grief to stop you.”
Jenna didn't know if Angela was sincere or acting. Was she really an innocent victim of circumstances, or was she just pretending, laying it on as thick as she could to deepen Randolph's guilt? At the moment she really didn't want to know. All she wanted was to get away from them. “I'll walk to Leigh's. When the cab comes please have him bring my luggage to her place. I've got to get out of here. The sight of the both of you sickens me.”
“Jenna, please don't—”
“No, I need time alone right now and since it seems you've been in capable hands, there's no need for me to stay.”
Without giving Randolph an opportunity to say anything else, she left.
 
For the third time in less than four hours, Randolph was at Leigh's house, pleading with her to tell him where Jenna had gone. Leigh claimed she wasn't there.
“Leigh, please tell me where she is. I have to talk to her! I have to explain things.”
Leigh was livid. “And just how are you going to explain being caught in bed with another woman, Randolph? A woman who was engaged to your brother? You hurt Jenna. You hurt her pretty damn bad.”
Pain clouded Randolph's eyes. Not only had he lost the brother he loved but he'd lost the woman he loved, too. “I need to see her and talk to her. I don't know what happened, Leigh, but I do know that I love Jenna and unless I was stone drunk I would not have slept with Angela. I've been racking my brain trying to remember and constantly come up with zero. All I know is that there is no way I could have been in my right mind. I would not have intentionally dishonored Jenna like that.”
Leigh glared at him. “But dammit, Randolph, you did dishonor her and with a woman who's always treated her lower than low. It wouldn't surprise me if Angela set this whole thing up. She's always wanted you.”
Randolph lifted a confused brow. “What are you talking about?”
“I'm talking about the fact that Angela has always been attracted to you. I'm not stupid. I picked up on it a while ago and even mentioned it to Noah before he left.”
Randolph shook his head. “You're wrong, Leigh. Angela loved Ross. There was a time when I actually thought she didn't but now I believe she does. And she's taking his death pretty hard. Not only did I mess things up with Jenna but I've messed things up for Angela as well. The only reason she slept with me is because in her grief-stricken state she envisioned me as Ross.” He sighed deeply, guiltily. His grandparents and Angela's parents were now aware of what had happened
and everyone was taking sides—Angela's. She had been the grief-stricken virgin who had been taken advantage of by the grief-stricken brother.
“When Jenna returns please let her know that I need to see her and talk to her, Leigh. And please let her know that I love her. Totally. Completely.” Randolph's eyes became misty. “They're having funeral services for Ross on Saturday.” He almost broke down when he said the next words. “His body is supposed to arrive tomorrow.”
Without saying anything else, Randolph turned and walked out of Leigh's house.
 
Leigh stood at the window and watched as Randolph got into his car and drove away. “You know I'm a poor liar, Jenna. Chances are he knew you were here.”
Frowning, Jenna came down the stairs, her eyes still swollen from all the crying she had been doing. “I really don't care what he knows.”
Leigh sighed and turned around to face her. “I think you should go to the memorial services, Jenna. Not going will make Angela think she's won.”
Jenna sighed. Leigh was convinced the entire thing had been set up by Angela to make a move on Randolph. “Leigh, it's not a matter of winning.”
Leigh raised her eyes to the ceiling. “Surely you don't think Randolph has feelings for Angela?”
“No, I believe he was either stone drunk or overcome with grief, or both. But the fact still remains that he did sleep with her, Leigh. I found them in bed together.”
“But consider the circumstances, Jenna. It's not like he was intentionally unfaithful to you. He was torn up over his brother's death. I know how that feels from personal experience. You'd do just about anything to ease the pain.”
“But would you have gone to bed with another man?”
“Jenna, to be honest with you, there were times I don't remember if I was coming or going, I was so full of grief when my brother was
killed. But luckily for me Noah was there and unfortunately for Randolph
you
weren't and Angela took advantage of an opportunity.”
A part of Jenna didn't want to believe Leigh's theory. She didn't want to believe anyone could be that deceitful and stoop that low.
“But like I said,” Leigh continued, “you need to go. You need to show Angela that the love you and Randolph share is pure and true, and nothing can come between you, even her sharing his bed when he wasn't in his right mind.”
When Jenna didn't say anything, Leigh kept talking. “I'm sure you couldn't resist taking a peek at him. He looks so pitiful, Jen. He's lost Ross and now he thinks he's lost you, too. He's going through a hard time right now and he needs you more than ever. And you know in your heart that he loves you. Only
you.
I don't think even you can question or dispute that.”
Jenna nodded as more tears formed in her eyes. In her heart she knew that she couldn't. Their love had been special from the very beginning. It had even survived Julia Fuller's meddling. “Oh, Leigh, I don't know what to do.”
“Yes, Jenna, I think that you do. I know it hurts, but you're going to have to swallow your pride and stand by the man you love—the man who loves you.”
No longer wanting to dwell on Randolph and how she would handle the situation, Jenna asked, “How did Noah handle the news?”
“Not well. This is the second best friend he's lost. I'm just grateful he and Ross got to spend time together last month in Saigon. Noah said Ross made him promise that if anything happened to him that he would make sure Gia and the baby were taken care of. And now with Ross gone there's no doubt in my mind Noah will keep his promise.”
 
On October twenty-second more than fifty thousand people—liberals, radicals, black nationalists, hippies, professors, women's groups and war veterans—participated in a massive demonstration in Washington against the United States' policies in Vietnam. The demonstrators marched in an orderly procession to the Pentagon where they held
another rally and vigil that continued through the early hours of the next day. A force of ten thousand troops surrounded the Defense Department, standing ready to defend a nation against its own people if they had to.
Not far away a military plane landed, bringing Ross Donovan Fuller home to his country and his family for the last time.
 
Tan Son Nhut, Saigon
Artillery missiles resembling Fourth of July fireworks lighted the sky not far from the military base, and all around the smell of smoke, fumes and cigarette tobacco permeated the air.
No one noticed the man wearing fatigues as he entered the small freestanding building that served as a chapel. Walking to the front, he knelt before a bruised and battered statue of Jesus.
Noah's heart was heavy and tears suddenly sprang to his eyes as he pulled out of his pocket a group of photographs. They were the same photos he had been looking at during his free time over the last five days.
He knew that back in the States, in Virginia, the services for Ross were about to begin. Taking his time, he looked at one photo and then another, remembering the moment each was taken, just last month. Ross was smiling in every one of them as he stood next to the woman he loved, his bride. The last photo, one taken by another soldier who'd been passing by, had included Noah as well. He stood in the middle with one arm around Noah and the other around Gia. Everyone had been so happy that day, Ross's wedding day.
Then that night when he and Ross had some private time alone, his best friend had made him promise that should anything happened to him, Gia and their unborn child would be taken care of. Noah had made him that promise.
Noah had then made Ross promise that should anything happen to him, likewise, Leigh and his unborn child would be taken care of. Ross had made him that promise as well.
“Damn you, Ross, looks like I'm it,” Noah said, trying to joke
through the tears wetting his cheeks. “That's just what I need, man, two more mouths to feed.”
He wiped at his tears. “But I'll do it for you, buddy. I'll do anything for you. I promise to take care of and hold dear your most precious possessions. I promise.”

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