Tideline (9 page)

Jez had looked startled by her temper, and had apologized. She’d been taken back by his contrition – Barney and Theo would never have said sorry – they were more likely to tell
her to bugger off. She’d left the room without saying any more, and was now ashamed by her lack of graciousness.

Surely Jez hadn’t taken her words to heart, gone off feeling he wasn’t wanted? Something daft like that? Mick’s anxiety combined with her sister’s hysteria had forced
Helen to remain calm last night. But now she felt a slow terror build within.

Maybe Maria was right. She had been too laid back. Not just laid back though, in some ways, downright negligent. She had not asked where he was going when he went out. Had not worried what time
he came in. She’d treated him like one of her boys but he wasn’t one of her boys. He was young and innocent and naïve and sweet natured. All these thoughts made her so
uncomfortable she had to stand up and move. She hurried back through the park, her head down, dreading what lay ahead.

‘You’ve contacted everyone he knew?’ Inspector Kirwin glanced at each of them in turn. She was short and plump and looked too homely to be an inspector, Helen
thought. Alongside her sat a boy, a police constable she introduced as Josh, who barely looked Barney’s age.

Helen and Mick exchanged glances. They were at the kitchen table sipping tea. Maria, dressed impeccably as usual, nevertheless looked exhausted. It was clear she hadn’t slept a wink. She
was biting her thumbnail, unable to sit still.

‘We could go through Barney and Theo’s mobile contacts, and then our phone book,’ Mick suggested.

‘You haven’t done that yet?’ Maria stood up, her face drained of colour.

‘We only began to think there was something amiss yesterday evening. It was late. We could hardly phone people at that hour.’

Helen looked at Inspector Kirwin across the table for affirmation.

‘You’ve had all morning,’ said Maria. ‘I don’t believe this.’

‘There are, believe it or not, other things in our lives apart from Jez!’ Helen blurted before she could stop herself.

‘Helen!’ Mick glowered at her.

‘We’re just as upset and worried as you are, Maria,’ said Helen. ‘He’s our nephew. But to keep apportioning blame . . .’

‘No one’s blaming anyone.’ Mick glared at Helen and Helen pursed her lips.

‘From what you’ve told me,’ said Kirwin, ‘there’s still a strong possibility he’s on his way back home to Paris. You say he was expected some time this
weekend but he hadn’t said exactly when.’

‘He said Saturday,’ said Maria. ‘But he’s left his things here. I know Jez. He’d have been in touch if he changed his plans. He knows I worry if he’s late. He
always phones or texts.’

‘Unlike our two,’ Helen couldn’t help muttering.

‘What was that?’

‘I said unlike Barney and Theo.’ Helen didn’t mean to sound bitter, but she realized the minute she’d spoken that it was how it had come out.

Mick stared at her. ‘Drop it,’ he said.

Kirwin glanced from one to the other of them.

‘Was there a feeling of animosity at all towards your nephew? Did he give rise to any conflict while he was staying with you?’ she asked.

Mick shook his head.

‘Not at all,’ he said.

‘He’s lovely,’ said Helen. ‘It’s been a joy having him to stay.’

‘Which one of you saw him last?’

Mick looked at Helen and shrugged.

‘I left for work at, oh, 7.30 on Friday morning. I assumed he was in bed.’

‘He was,’ said Helen. ‘He came into the kitchen for a glass of water just before I left. About quarter to eight. I went off to work as usual. I do a half day on Friday so I
came home at lunchtime. He went out again at about three thirty I think.’

‘Do you know where he was planning to go?’

Helen decided her irritable words before Jez left were best not mentioned.

‘I don’t remember. He was in and out such a lot. Off to rehearse in Barney and Theo’s band. And he had a couple of interviews last week.’

‘Those were over by Friday!’ said Maria. ‘I can’t believe you don’t know that.’

‘Of course I know,’ said Helen. ‘But he’s nearly sixteen, Maria. He was very responsible about getting himself where he needed to be at the right time. You have to trust
kids, you can’t breathe down their necks all the time.’

What a suffocating mother Maria was. No wonder he’d gone off on his own for a bit, rather than going home. Helen shifted in her chair and changed the subject.

‘I bumped into his girlfriend yesterday. She said he was due to meet her in the foot tunnel on Friday afternoon but he didn’t turn up.’

‘The foot tunnel?’ Maria blanched. ‘The Greenwich foot tunnel? You let them meet down there?’

‘It’s not what it was,’ said Mick. ‘There are CCTV cameras down there these days.’

‘That’s true,’ said the young constable, speaking for the first time.

‘We need to speak to the girlfriend,’ said Kirwin. ‘Did anyone else see Jez that day? In your family, I mean. Obviously we’ll check with your sons too.’

They all shook their heads.

‘To clarify, then, you came home on Friday lunchtime and saw him leave the house at about three thirty,’ the policewoman said, staring at Helen rather intently.

‘Yes, that’s right,’ Helen said. She felt her face go hot and hoped no one would notice.

‘Well thank you,’ said Kirwin. ‘If you could let us have a look at anything that might help – a laptop or mobile he may have used, before he went missing. We’ll
need a recent photo of Jez if possible, for our missing persons poster. And if you don’t mind, there’s a reporter who’s interested in your case. I know it can feel intrusive, but
it often helps to get publicity out there as soon as possible. Are you happy to talk to someone if they come round later?’

‘Of course,’ Mick said straight away.

‘I have a lovely photo of him,’ said Maria, ‘on my phone. Could I print it out Mick?’

‘Sure,’ replied Mick. ‘Let’s get that done straight away.’

The policewoman smiled.

‘You can email it straight to us at the station,’ she said. ‘I’ll give you the address.’

As they all stood up the phone began to ring. Helen picked it up.

‘Helen, it’s Simon.’

‘Simon, just a friend,’ Helen told the expectant group, covering the mouthpiece. They trooped out of the room. Helen was relieved to have an excuse to hang back.

‘Listen. I’ve got a spare ticket for Tosca, the dress rehearsal this Friday. You interested?’

‘Oh, Simon, how timely. I’ve had the most horrendous weekend. Thank you. If no one else wants it?’

‘I was going to offer it to Sonia but Greg often gets tickets and I thought you’d appreciate it more.’

‘I’d love it.’

As she put the phone down, Helen could hear Maria with Mick in the study sorting out Jez’s photo. She made for the fridge. She could kill for a large glass of wine.

Sonia

I let one end of the silk run through my hand. I’m about to untie it so Jez will never know, but suddenly he opens his eyes. Blinks up at me.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Nothing. It’s fine, Jez. Everything’s fine. I have someone coming this morning who’s interested in hearing you play. My opera friend. You know, I said he could help
you.’

‘I don’t want help. I’m leaving.’

He struggles, pulling at the bonds, which of course only tightens them. His wrists redden. ‘Let me go. I want to go now.’

‘Please don’t, Jez. Don’t say you want to go. It upsets me.’

‘But you’ve tied me up.’

I stand up. ‘It was just a little game. Look, I’m popping out to get some things to eat. I can get you croissants, bagels, whatever you prefer. What would you like?’

‘I just want you to let me go. This is mad. Mad!’

I sit down on the bed, stroke the hair off his damp forehead.

‘You’ll be glad of the contact, won’t you? Then you’ll be free to follow it up in your own time.’

He’s quiet for a bit as he searches my face. Then he says, ‘If it is a surprise party for my birthday on Wednesday, I think you’re going a bit far.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Tying me up! Locking me in! You could just tell me I have to stay here now I’ve guessed. I won’t tell Helen I know about it. Honest.’

‘OK. But I want to get your ankle better, and I don’t want you to do anything rash.’

When
am
I going to let him go? I haven’t really thought it through properly. Maybe it will be on his birthday as he imagines. Anyway, soon, before Greg and Kit come home. Before he edges
further towards adulthood. Today though, I want to savour every second I have left with him, and I want him relaxed and happy, not anxious like this.

‘Tell me what I can bring you, Jez. Remember I’ll get you anything you like.’

After a pause he lets his head fall back against the pillows. ‘I could do with a smoke. There’s some weed in my jacket pocket.’

‘I’ll bring it.’

‘But I need my hands free. I need a piss, Sonia! How am I supposed to go for a piss like this? Or a shit. I’ve got to go!’

I look at him, spreadeagled on the iron bed. His bad foot wrapped in its bandage, lolling over the edge. He can’t go anywhere with his ankle like that.

‘I’ll take these silly scarves off then, if you promise not to try anything daft like you did yesterday.’

‘No. No. I promise.’ He says it as if he’s weary with playing the game but knows it’s in his best interests to continue.

We smile at each other and I untie the knots slowly, watching him all the time. I run my thumb over the red welts the scarves have left on his wrists. ‘I haven’t hurt you, have I? I
didn’t mean to hurt you.’

‘No,’ he says, shaking his hands as I pull the silk away. ‘No, it’s OK. That’s better. Thanks.’

‘Good, then I’ll be back soon. With weed and croissants. And I’ll bring Simon.’

A bustle this morning as I go along the alley to the shops. A brisk spring wind blows ripples across the river so the boats speeding in both directions rock on the choppy
water. Students in scarves and hoodies gather in little groups in the university gardens, kids bound along on their way to school. People hurry towards the pier to get the Clipper up to town.
Everyone’s on their way somewhere. I’m going to buy croissants from Rhodes for me and Jez and Simon who’s due later. I may grab some of their fabulous panini, too, for Jez to have
for lunch. He’ll have an appetite by then. While I’m there I’ll treat him to one of their chocolate brownies. It’s one of those shops, Kit used to say, where you can’t
buy just one thing however resolute you are when you go in. She used to make me buy her slices of their Princess Cake, with its marzipan icing, and she’d eat the layers one at a time, licking
up the creamy filling between each one as she went.

There’s a spring in my step this morning. Michael notices this as I pass. He works in the Anchor and is sweeping the paving stones outside.

‘You’re looking perky this morning, Sonia,’ he says. I wave and hurry on towards the village. I cross the road, about to pass the newsagents, and then stop.

There, staring from the rack where the local papers are stacked, is his beautiful face. What’s he doing there, on the front page? Smiling over to his right, caught unawares, his mouth half
open, as if he’s just spotted someone special. Who? I peer at the caption under the photograph:

I buy the paper and hurry to the steps opposite the Cutty Sark, which has been shrouded in white stuff since the fire destroyed it. The wind keeps lifting the corners of the pages as I start to
read and I have to bat them down. The white awnings flap around the Cutty Sark, and the blue hoardings slap and rattle. The wind unsettles me. It takes me longer than it should to grasp the meaning
of the words.

This is so premature! For goodness’ sake, boys fail to go home after a weekend with mates, after a heavy drinking or smoking session all the time. What’s the fuss
about? A gust of wind lifts the front page and snatches it from my hand. I lurch to catch it, bumping into a woman who gives me a look as she goes past. Putting my foot on the page to trap it, I
almost lose my balance. I sit down again and spread the page against my lap.

Another small inset picture shows Jez, almost unrecognizable, turning a somersault, mid-air. The caption reads:

The article continues:

I can’t help smiling at the mistake in this last detail. Jez is wearing Nike trainers, the kind that come up the ankles a bit. I look again at the photo and see that he
was younger then. A child still. He’s filled out now, his hair’s longer. Pleasure shudders through me at the thought that he’s mine. But as I stand up I find my knees are weak. I
stumble. This is silly. The report that he’s missing makes it sound as if he’s come to some harm. But Jez is safe with me. He’s getting everything he wants, and more. Do I need to
phone everyone and tell them that Jez came to me and now he’s staying for a while? That I’m taking care of him? Why should I? He’s comfortable. He is, in fact, in the lap of
luxury.