Tide Will Tell (Islands of Intrigue: San Juans) (22 page)

Kate went on. “She was actually there with him after he found Emily, and she was one of the last people to talk to Trina before she vanished. It looks like Chase’s story about her leaving him for another man is true.”

He pulled in a breath, but let it out in a heavy, wordless sigh.

Why was he acting so distant? Was he really this upset about her not answering her phone? Or was there something else?

She buried her apprehension behind a plastered-on smile. “So, we don’t have to do any more investigating. We can focus on getting ready for the wedding.”

He worked his jaw, like he wanted to say something but couldn’t decide how to start. Her heart quivered. She missed the banter they’d had just the day before.

Act like a boss, Kate. Not a friend.

“So, we might as well get started.” She swung her leg off the ottoman and pulled herself to her feet. “I need to decide where we’re going to stand for the ceremony, and where the guests are going to sit. Just think…” She took a cautious step, her knee responding with a dull ache. “In a few days, you’ll be calling me Mrs. Cole.” Forcing a smile, she turned for the door.

“If that’s what you want.” His voice sounded firm and solid, like he wasn’t moving to follow. “Or maybe you’d rather I call you
Kathy
.”

She froze, the word stabbing her like a cold blade. Slowly, she turned, gaping at him in confused disbelief. “How did you…?”

Stepping toward her, he pulled some folded papers from his inside jacket pocket and held them out.

She took the papers with trembling hands. The heading of the top page screamed at her.
Missing Persons Report
.

A shockwave skittered through her. Her mother had reported her missing. Of course she had.

A copy of an old photo of her was clipped to the corner of the page. It was all she could do not to fold into a heap on the deck as she pictured her mom, frantic, responding to a policeman’s request for a recent photo of her by extracting this one from its frame on the living room wall. Had her stepdad been with her, offering comfort? Or had he made her go through this alone?

She flipped to the second page—a yellow paper filled with handwritten notes. Her eyes swept over the murky mass of words.
Kathy Jennings…Emily Cole…Detective Johnson…Carl Hingston
. Then out of the blur of pencil markings, a phrase took shape.
Possible accessory to criminally negligent homicide.

Her knees buckled and Josh reached out to clasp her arms.

She tried to pull away from him, but her strength failed. “How…where…?”

His eyes, which had seemed so distant just a moment before, now brimmed with compassion. “Eli tracked this down for me.”

Her breath caught. He’d had her investigated? Betrayal surged in her chest till she could scarcely breathe. “Why?”

“Because I asked him to.”

Fury mixed with fear, forming a potent brew that threatened to erupt like a volcano. Wrenching free from his grasp, she took an unsteady step back. “You…you had him check up on me?”

“I’m sorry, Kate.” Remorse filled his voice. “But I just had a feeling there was something serious going on that I should know about. Why didn’t you tell me about any of this?”

“Because it’s none of your business.” The papers crumpled between her shaking fingers. “Didn’t that ever occur to you?”

He shook his head. “No. That didn’t occur to me because I happen to care about you. I want to protect you, and not just because Mr. Cole hired me to.”

He cared about her.
She looked into his eyes, not sure if she wanted to see a deeper meaning in them. Her outrage faltered. “But…you had no right…”

“I understand why you’re running.” With an extended hand, he took another step toward her. “And why you’re trying to hide inside a loveless marriage.”

Loveless?
The word gave her anger a reboot. Josh couldn’t tell her how she felt. He had no idea.

His suppliant gaze connected with hers. “But you need to know that the detective isn’t interested in arresting you. You don’t need to hide anymore.”

Her head started to spin, and she grappled for a chair to catch her weight. Getting arrested for her involvement with the clinic was really the least of her worries now. Did Josh know the rest of the story? Did anyone?

She scanned the yellow page again, looking for any mention of Karen or of the stolen money. Seeing nothing, she flipped it over. There she saw more notes, but in different handwriting. Something about a documentary and some numbers behind a dollar sign.

She looked up at Josh. “You got offered a job on a movie?”

His eyes narrowed in confusion, then widened in realization. He let out a long breath and took the papers back from her. “I got a phone call while I was home.”

“Really?” She pressed her lower arms to her belly. “When does the job start?”

“Well, they would need me to be in Vancouver tomorrow.”

Tomorrow?
Pain squeezed her chest, where the happiness she felt for him made a confusing contrast to the sorrow she felt for herself. “So…you’re leaving?”

He let out a breath. “That’s why I was trying to call you. “I haven’t given them an answer yet. I wanted to talk to you first.”

Anguish filled her throat. He had wanted to talk to her. Like what she thought mattered in his decision. Like
she
mattered.

She couldn’t let herself think that way. “But you’re taking it, right? I mean…it’s what you want.”

“Kate.” He knelt next to her. “I made a commitment to you.”

As she met his gaze, her body weakened in an exodus of spent adrenaline and rage. With everything in her, she wanted to just go with him. To get into his dented-up Toyota and drive away from all her fears and concerns. Into a life filled with passion and the kind of love that was formed by a thousand colored dots of different emotions that only made sense when you stood back to see the picture they formed.

She looked away, afraid of what she might say if she looked into those eyes again. If love could build a strong fortress around her she’d be safe, but it couldn’t. No matter how badly she wanted it, love would never be enough.

Pulling herself painfully to her feet, she crossed to the railing and focused on the creeping patch of grey in the sky. At least with her back to him and that small distance between them, she could fake a strength she didn’t feel.

“I think you should take the job.” She blinked back a tear. “It’s a great opportunity, and I can’t stand in your way.”

The sound of his steps behind her carried over the soft sloshing of the waves below them.

“Kate…I need to know you’ll be okay.”

His hand touched her shoulder, and she turned. Unable to help herself, she looked up at his molten eyes drilling into hers.

She slowly shook her head. “You can’t keep me safe.” It came out in a choked whisper.

“You’re right. I can’t.” He removed his hand, but she could still feel its warmth. “No one can guarantee your safety, Kate. Not Mr. Cole. Not me.”

The tears started to come in spite of her best efforts to restrain them. “Then what am I supposed to do?”

Dipping down to recapture her gaze, he spoke softly. “You have to have faith. Just know that God is in control.”

Wrapping her arms around herself, she turned again and wiped her eyes. “You don’t know what I need, Josh.”

“You’re right. But I wish I did.” Resting his hands on the railing, he eased up next to her. “Kate…
Kathy
…I…”

Turning to meet his gaze, she felt her heart skitter in her chest. She leaned in closer to him, longing to allow everything she had worked for all these weeks to slip from her grasp so she could follow her heart’s lead.

Don’t be a fool, Kate.

Stumbling back a step, she held up a hand. “I know what I want.” She pulled in a breath for strength. “I want to be Mrs. Chase Cole.” Overcome with a need to get away from him, she started for the stairs that led down to the water.

“Wait.” Alarm cut through his voice. “Where are you going?”

Good question.
Her first step down reminded her that putting stress on her knee was not a good plan. “I’m going to the yacht to wait for Sam.”

He moved to follow. “At least let me drive you.”

She held up a hand. “It’s not your job to take care of me, Josh.” Emotion mixed with pain, doing little to convey a sense of self-assurance. “I think you should go.”

He wavered, then let out a long sigh. “Fine.” The word was low. Resigned. “If you’re sure that’s what you want. I’ll just go inside and get the rest of my things.” He took a step, then stopped and met her gaze. “I won’t bother you again…Mrs. Cole.”

As he headed back to the house, Kate stood motionless—torn between the need to flee and the desire to go after him.

The door clicked shut behind him, and a tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly swiped it away, then grabbed hold of the railing with both hands and made her way down the stairs. By the time her feet touched the soft ground at its base, the periphery of her vision had blurred, and her throat had tightened. The throbbing of her heartbeat echoed in her ears.

Focusing on what she could see of the dock through the trees, she started down the trail, the thin soles of her ballet flats providing only minimal traction on the dewy stones. This was a stupid move, tackling this trail. But she’d needed to get away from Josh.

All she could think of as she edged into the thicket of trees that enveloped the trail as it wound past the guesthouse, was her desire to get back to the yacht. And what then? She didn’t even have a key to get inside.

Another wave of uncertainty tightened her throat. It would be okay. Josh would leave, and she could start to feel like a normal bride with nothing worse than a case of pre-wedding jitters. Then when Sam returned, she would help put things into perspective.

She passed the front of the guesthouse, then followed the trail as it wound down below the beams that supported the decks she had so looked forward to spending time on. Keeping her head down, she focused on the pine-needled path and tried not to think about which stabbing pain hurt worse—the one in her knee, or the one in her heart. Both seemed to be gaining intensity with each step. How could she have let herself get so caught up in caring for a man who wasn’t hers?

The truth was, she felt drawn to Josh in a way she would never be to Chase. But even if she could stay with Josh, what kind of life could she offer him? Her past would forever haunt them. And unless she decided to spend the stolen money, which would create a whole new set of problems, she needed Chase’s resources. That was just the way it was.

As she passed the stairway that led up to the backdoor of the guesthouse, she paused and looked around. She hadn’t realized that from this section of the trail, there was no view of either the main house behind her or the water in front of her. Aside from that staircase and the mostly obscured guesthouse above the trail, there was nothing but a shroud of trees on either side.

A chill passed through her, and she attempted to hasten her steps, even though the steep downhill grade of the path made that very difficult.

Behind her, something crackled. Before she could turn, a hand took a firm hold of her shoulder and jolted her to a stop.

Chapter 23

Raking his hand through his hair, Josh climbed the stairs to the second floor. Why hadn’t he talked to Kate calmly, the way he had planned? Whatever chance he’d had with her had crashed and burned in a blazing trail of the trust he had failed to instill in her.

Confusion blurred his thoughts. To stay or to go. He’d prayed for guidance in making this decision, and her words had seemed like the answer. But if he’d been able to talk to her about it last night, would her response have been different?

Entering the room that had been his over the weekend, he contemplated. The question of Mr. Cole’s innocence wasn’t really the issue anymore. Josh had to face it. The real issue was that he couldn’t stand the thought of someone else marrying his Kate.

His Kate?
He jarred at the thought. When had she become
his
Kate?

He tossed the few items he’d left out into his backpack. He should be totally stoked right now. Working on this movie could set him on the career path he’d dreamed of for years. But taking it meant walking away from Kate, the woman he could have sworn, if he didn’t know better, was the woman he was meant to be with.

Get a grip, man.
No matter how badly he wanted things to be different, Kate wasn’t his. If he stayed, things would only get more complicated.

He closed the zipper on his backpack and tossed it onto the bed, then grabbed his phone from his jacket. He took the papers from his other pocket, wishing again that he had handled the situation differently. He scanned his scrawled notes for Mark Hughes’ phone number. This was for the best. But why was he still so torn?

Mark picked up after a couple of rings, and Josh told him his decision. It definitely gave him a boost to hear Mark’s enthusiasm over the news that they’d be working together. As Mark filled him in on how to get to the hotel and the first location, Josh glanced out the window toward the pristine bay. There was no sign yet of the ferry, but it would be coming soon. He might as well board the next one and just make a clean break.

He allowed a look at the woodsy area below. From what he could see through the trees, there was no sign of Kate either. Small wonder. On that leg, it would take her a while to get down the trail. Why hadn’t he insisted on driving her?

Grabbing his backpack, he confirmed with Mark that he’d see him in Vancouver that night, then ended the call. Stepping out of the room, he prayed that his fervor would match his new boss’s by the time he crossed the border.

“Well, hey.” The sound of a female voice drew his attention to the end of the hallway, where Kim rolled a sleek silver suitcase out of her room. She started toward him. “Looks like we’re planning to catch the same ferry.”

Hoping to conceal his indifference to that prospect, Josh shouldered his backpack and reached out to take Kim’s bag for her. “I thought you’d be staying for the wedding.” Small talk felt hollow, but at least it might help to take his mind off Kate.