Thwarting Cupid (14 page)

“Is this included?”

“Sure is.” The woman put it in the bag for him. “Thank you for being a Sassy Saver.”

Hutch chuckled. “That’s such a fun name.” He joined Carissa by the shelf. She held up a body wash for him to smell.

“What do you think?”

“What’s with this sudden obsession of yours for men’s products? Something I should know about?” He sniffed, then shrugged when the fragrance did nothing for him. She put the bottle back and picked up two more for him to sniff.

Carissa shrugged. “I was just thinking about how many times you’ve fallen asleep at my place. I thought it would be nice if you didn’t have to rush home in the morning like you have been.”

Surprise had him raising his missing brows before he could stop himself. The extra sting and burn of his injury did nothing to lessen his excitement. She was letting him in. This was progress. Hutch pointed to the body wash he liked. She smiled.

“I liked that one, too.”

He reached up and stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers.

She nodded toward the red bottle in her hand. “Now all you need is a horse to ride backward and you’re all set.”

He laughed when he got the reference. “I love those commercials.”

She laughed along with him. “They are hilarious. I love–”

Hutch hooked an arm around her and pulled her close. He frowned at the deodorant guy who was stuffing containers into his pockets behind her. “What are you doing?” Hutch demanded.

The guy paused mid-stuff and stared at Hutch like a deer caught in the headlights. “Nothing.”

“Are you stealing deodorant?” Carissa glared at the guy.

“I knew it! I knew you’d been stealing from me.” The woman rushed over to them. “I couldn’t prove it, but I wondered why deodorant always appeared to be missing after you came by.”

“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The man blustered and stood up straight. His eyes still darted between the three of them.

“Then you won’t mind emptying your pockets,” Hutch stepped forward and folded his arms across his chest.

“Sure.” The man reached in his pockets like he was going to obey. Instead, he took off down the sidewalk. Hutch chased after him. Deodorant bottles dropped out of the man’s pants leaving a trail a blind man could follow.

Hutch did his best to avoid stepping on the bottles, but one seemed to skid right under his foot at an inopportune moment. His weight was already shifting to that leg. When he tried to take that step, the bottle slid backward, throwing him off balance. He just managed to prevent a face plant into the sidewalk by using his hands to break his fall.

“Hutch!” Carissa screamed his name behind him.

In front of him, a car backed down a driveway, cutting the deodorant thief off. The driver stopped just short of hitting him. However, he was trapped between that car and the one parked at the curb. In desperation, he turned and fled back the way he’d come.

Carissa ran to Hutch’s side. Before she could reach him, the man bowled her over. She went sprawling backward on the sidewalk. Hutch pushed himself up and hurried to Carissa’s side. He knelt next to her.

“I’m okay. Get him!”

Hutch nodded. He stood just in time to see the woman from the shop grab a green bottle from a shelf, rip something loose from the side and aim it at the guy like a gun.

“Lousy thief!” she yelled and pulled the trigger.

Liquid shot in a steady stream from the bottle. She got the man dead in the face. He screamed and went down rubbing his eyes. He curled up in a fetal position and rolled around in pain.

“I’m calling the police,” the woman told him and pulled a cellphone from her pocket.

“Good. You’re going to jail for assault. What’d you do to me? It burns. It burns!” He started crying.

The woman gestured with the bottle she was still holding. “Fantastic. Works on soap scum and scum of the earth.”

Hutch reached down to help Carissa up. He was relieved to see she was desperately trying not to laugh at the ludicrous scene before them instead of being injured. While the woman reported the crime, Hutch leaned close to whisper, “Remind me not to mess with her.”

The guy tried to get up. The woman didn’t miss a beat. She shot him in the face again with the bathroom cleaner. He collapsed back on the ground and howled in pain. She hung up the phone.

“The police are on their way.” The guy tried to crawl away. She shot him in the chest. “How about you stay put?” The man whimpered.

A police cruiser raced up the street and stopped at the curb. The two officers who’d taken Hutch and Carissa’s statements earlier got out. They both did a double take when they saw the two of them standing there.

“We got a call. Robbery in progress.” Officer Stephens checked out the guy on the ground then eyed Carissa and Hutch. “You two have had a busy day.”

Hutch shrugged. “Just lucky, I guess.”

“I don’t think I want your kind of luck.”

It was another two hours of statement-taking before everything was sorted out. Hutch had a strong suspicion it took so long because Yancy had taken a shine to the Sassy Saver lady. From the looks of things, the feeling was mutual. Which was really too bad for the poor deodorant thief who kept rolling around on the ground and whining about how she’d attacked him with the cleanser.

Things went from bad to worse for the deodorant thief when Officer Yancy realized he’d seen the Sassy Saver lady before. She’d been at a local homeless shelter dropping off crates of goods for the residents. It turned out that whatever she didn’t sell, she donated. A fact that made the guy’s crime that much worse. Not only was he stealing from some nice lady, he was also depriving the homeless.

Sick of the whining, Officer Stephens cuffed the deodorant thief and tossed him in the back seat of the cruiser before rejoining his partner. He made the mistake of asking the lady where she got all her merchandise. Her face lit up like it was Christmas morning and she’d just found everything her heart desired under the tree.

“I’m really good at couponing. Check it out.” She pulled a file box out from under the table and opened it. She retrieved a receipt that was longer than Hutch was tall and handed it to Officer Yancy. The other three just looked on in amazement. “That’s my best trip yet. I wish I could frame the receipt, but I’m not sure it’s possible since it’s so long.”

Yancy looked at the bottom of the paper and did another double take. “You spent three dollars and sixty-eight cents on eight hundred and thirty-four dollars’ worth of groceries? How is that even possible?”

“I know, right! Isn’t it awesome? But what the receipt doesn’t show you is how I earned twenty-seven dollars back on that transaction! I pretty much bought all that stuff and got paid twenty-three dollars to do it.”

Seeing she had a willing audience in Officer Yancy, she walked him around her little shop and told him in great detail how she’d acquired each piece of merchandise. Officer Stephens hung back with Hutch and Carissa. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Boy, did I ask the wrong question.”

“It’s okay. You couldn’t have known,” Hutch consoled.

“No need to punish us all. Think you two can make it home without getting into any more trouble or should I arrange for a police escort?”

Hutch picked up his bag of purchases. “I think we can manage.” He looked at Carissa. “Ready?”

She shook her head. “I haven’t paid for my items, yet.” She held up the toothbrushes and body wash.

“Hang tight. I’ll see if I can interrupt this touching little
tete-a-tete
.”

Officer Stephens jumped into the middle of the coupon conversation. He gestured toward Carissa and Hutch. The woman smiled at them. “Sweetheart, take what you want. I appreciate you guys for helping me out. He’s been stealing from me for weeks, but I could never prove it.”

“You’re sure?” Carissa asked.

“It’s the least I can do.” She reached under the table and got a bag for Carissa’s non-purchases. When they walked away, Hutch slung an arm around Carissa’s shoulders.

“How do you like that? I do the hard work and you get the free gift.”

“You poor, mistreated thing. I might be tempted to feel sorry for you if three of my four items weren’t for you.”

Hutch gave her a squeeze. “Perhaps you have a point.”

* * * *

It was after sundown when they made it
 
to Main Street. The trendy cafes and restaurants were already lit and the night crowd was starting to make an appearance. So much for their quick little outing.

“You hungry?” Hutch asked.

“Famished.” Carissa felt a bit bold. She linked her arm with his while they walked. “I’m totally fine with takeout. It’s been an exhausting day.”

“You’re reading my mind. A nice, hot shower wouldn’t be unwelcome either.”

“I know what you mean.” She squeezed his arm and pulled him to a stop. “Oh, look!” Carissa pointed to a couple of men unloading a huge ice sculpture from a freezer truck just ahead of them. The carving was of a bride and groom in the center of a garden, complete with live flowers. Miniature cupids surrounded the couple with their little bows and arrows aimed at them. “Isn’t that amazing?”

“Quite,” was all Hutch could say. Carissa shook her head and rolled her eyes. When the delivery guys had cleared their path, they continued down the block.

“You’re such a guy.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He adjusted his bag of purchases on his free arm and pressed the pedestrian signal so they could cross the street. In true Santa Monica fashion, the light changed almost immediately.

“You were totally humoring me back there. I bet you didn’t even pay attention to that sculpture.”

“I paid attention,” Hutch defended himself. “It just looked kinda lethal to me. Did you see how sharp those cupids’ arrows were?”

“Lethal? It’s ice. How lethal can it be?” Carissa countered. She pointed to a restaurant with a takeout window open toward the street. “Hey, what about there? It smells good and looks quick.”

“Fine by me. They have some pretty good fries.”

“Are they crispy?” Carissa stepped up and checked out the menu.

“Is there any other kind?”

“An excellent point.” Famished, it didn’t take her long figure out her order. Hutch placed his order and waved off her offer to pay. They stepped to the side so other people could order while their food was being prepared.

“Now that the sun is down, I think it’s a bit too chilly to eat out here on the beach. Why don’t we head back to my place to eat?”

Carissa’s first instinct was to refuse. She didn’t want to wear out her welcome with Hutch. She liked being around him and would hate it if he got tired of her. However, their argument from earlier in the day replayed itself in her mind. When it came right down to it, she always said ‘no’ regardless of what the invitation was. Maybe he was right. She had disconnected herself. That didn’t mean she had to stay that way. Who better to start with than Hutch? Carissa gave him a smile.

“Sounds like a plan. I’d love to see the ole bachelor pad.”

He snorted. “It’s not very exciting. I’m not big on–”

A furious shout from down the street interrupted their conversation. Everyone in the vicinity turned in that direction to look. A woman wearing a hideous green taffeta dress barreled toward them on one jeweled sandal. Her blonde hair was pinned under a flower on one side. On the other side, the flower hung by a lone bobby pin. The loosened hair whipped behind her while she ran.

A dark haired woman wearing a track suit and bridal veil chased the first down the street. “You’re a bridesmaid! That means that you
don’t
get to sleep with the groom!”

The woman in the dress looked over her shoulder to see the bride gaining on her.

“Get back here!”

The woman kept running, but was slowing down. Desperate, she looked for something to slow the bride down. The something she found happened to be Carissa.

When the woman raced around the corner of the restaurant where they stood, she shoved Carissa into the bride’s path. She didn’t have a chance to recover before the bride collided with her. Carissa heard Hutch call her name when the two of them tumbled to the sidewalk.

“Get off of me!” the bride demanded even though she was the one pinning Carissa down.

Hutch reached for Carissa to help her get out from under the woman, but the bride lost it. She swiped the object in her hand across Hutch’s exposed forearm, slicing it open.

Chapter 14

Hutch stared at it, looking shocked. When blood started dripping from the wound he went all pasty and sat down hard on the pavement. At the same time, the bride leveraged herself up off of Carissa and tried to continue the chase.

“Oh no you don’t!” Still lying on the ground, Carissa reached over her head and caught the bride around her legs. The woman slammed back down to the ground. Hard. The object in her hand skittered free and slid toward Hutch. Keeping his injured arm as far from himself as possible, he picked up one of the little ice cupids. The cupid’s bow and arrow was stained the slightest shade of red from where it had cut him.