Thug in Me (7 page)

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Authors: Karen Williams

BOOK: Thug in Me
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“Them having you up in this bitch.”
“I can't figure out how a man I have never even met would testify against me. Calhoun, have you ever seen that man before?”
“No. Matter a' fact no one from the Springdales has even heard of his ass. Trust me, I been looking.”
I felt good to hear that. Truth be told, when the blood was thrown into the mix, I doubted that people would believe I was innocent.
“But don't worry, Chance. There has to be a way out this shit.”
I nodded. “Well, my baby Toi and my mama are working on getting the money so my lawyer can continue. I'm relieved because I thought Toi was cool on a nigga.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. But my mama said she is on it for me and that she has been spending all her time trying to get me out of here.”
He changed the subject. “Who the fuck cut you?”
I touched the scar of my face. “I got jumped by a couple dudes.”
“What were they? Black? White? Mexican?”
“They were Mexican.”
He nodded. “Get used to that and don't take it personal. Because what you gonna see that in here is modern-day segregation.”
“Oh, I have. The shit is crazy. And the prison don't do shit about that.”
“Prison? You mean the guards? They just as bad as the inmates—you gonna see! Man, I hope I never have to come back here. I'd rather die!”
I looked away.
“Naw, man, it's different for you. Listen to me, Chance. They are not going to keep you in here. They can't. You didn't do nothing wrong. It's just going to take some time to get you out of here. Just look at this shit like a little vacation.”
I laughed despite myself. This shit would never be a vacation to me.
“Just don't think too serious about this shit. All you need to do is kick back, wait for that lawyer to do what he need to do, and you're gonna be good.”
“You really think so?”
“Come on, man. We been boys for how long? The one thing I'm never going to do is bullshit you, man. Everything is going to be okay, Chance. There is no way they going to keep your squeaky-clean ass up in here. And I'll keep a watch over Toi while you wait.”
“Boy, don't make me beat your ass,” I joked. I knew he was joking. Calhoun would never betray me with Toi. With anything. He was a lot of bad, but he was my boy. Our bond was too strong.
“It's good to see you with that twinkle back in your eye. The last time I saw you lose your twinkle was when Paul died.”
I nodded.
We chopped it up about what had been going on since I been in here. Calhoun gave me little tips on how to get by while being locked up in there. One thing was I was going to have to show them is that I could and would get down with anybody in there. He said eventually they would stop trying to test me, but that there was always someone on some racial shit and that it would have to be a part of my life now until I got out. I even told him about Tyson and how he had been in there for ten years.
“Keep your head low, dawg. Read and work out. Stay out of bullshit.” Those were his last words to me and a promise to come back again to see me.
Chapter 10
When the guard ended our visit I didn't bother arguing like some of the other men did. The officer that had assaulted me, Roscoe, was also running visiting. The men didn't say anything smart to him.
As I got in the line my name was called.
It was Roscoe. “Aye. Your girl finer than a muthafucka, man.”
I locked eyes with him, but refrained from anything extra except, “That's my mom.”
“Damn, that bitch fine. What you white boys say?
Milf
?” he asked the white, bald officer next to him.
The white officer nodded.
“Yeah,” Roscoe said. “ She's a muthafucking
Milf
, man.”
They both laughed.
I didn't respond, just looked the other way. I wanted to beat his ass for disrespecting my mom like that. But I didn't. He had the power. I didn't.
I knew that situation in solitary wasn't gonna be the last run-in with him.
 
 
Now I had a little shred because I knew Toi was working on selling the house. But another month had passed and I had not heard from her and she still had not visited me. This made me start to worry again.
My mom and Calhoun visited me religiously.
I had called my mama because I spent the night before worrying about the whole situation with Toi.
“Mom, are you sure Toi is still working on getting that money?”
“That's what she said. She said she had three buyers so far and that they were going to make a decision in the next few weeks.”
I took a deep breath. That was good to know. But it wasn't all that was bothering me.
“It's not just that, Mama.”
“What is it, Chance?”
“I know you my mama. But she is my girl. The woman I planned on marrying. It hurts me that she doesn't bother coming to see me.”
“Jail is a horrible place. I can't blame her for not coming there.”
“Mama, I don't. If she never visits me, I'm okay with that as long as I know she is still with me. I just don't want to feel like I'm losing her behind this shit. I don't want to feel like she is slowly distancing herself to be done with me for good.”
“I understand, son.”
“I write her letters and she doesn't bother to respond.”
“Have you tried calling her?”
“No.” I said, not wanting to explain my reason why I hadn't called, because it probably wouldn't make sense to my mama. See, the thing is I wasn't ready to let go. I needed to feel like my baby was still with me. And if I called her and she ended things with me, I don't know if I would be able to handle it. As much support as my mama and Calhoun gave me and the tight bond I had managed to form with Tyson, I needed to feel it from Toi. Pride is why I couldn't bring myself to call her.
“Toi has not told me anything different than what I told you.”
“Yeah, but she showing me something different.”
“It may just be in your head, Chance. You got so much going on right now you're probably not thinking straight.”
I had gotten the power of attorney papers, signed them, and mailed them back. And still Toi had not contacted me.
“I tell you what, Chance. Hang up with me and give her a call. Call her, Chance, and let her tell you for herself whether or not she can do this. And if she can't, you're just going to have to accept that. And what I'll do is become your power of attorney. No need for her to do it if she don't plan on being a part of your life any more.”
“Aye. Wallace.”
I glanced at the guard Roscoe. He was fucking with me again.
“Hang the phone up, nigga. You ain't the only one who needs to use it.”
“Mama, I gotta go.”
“Call her, Chance.”
“All right, Mama.”
And regardless of the punk-ass guard rushing me off the phone, I couldn't bring myself to call Toi anyway.
I went back to my cell and chopped it up with Tyson instead, trying to keep my mind off of her.
 
 
Three days later I didn't have to worry anymore. I got a letter from Toi that made me feel so much better.
Hey baby,
Your mother said that I should write you so I'm doing this now. I'm not too good at writing letters. But if I need to write one to put you at ease, baby, then that's what I need to do. First of all . . . Are you crazy? Of course I'm still with you! You my man, baby. I love you. Why would you even think I wouldn't be in your corner? That's what a woman does, they don't turn their back on their man when things get bad. They stick it out like a ride-or-die chick. And that is what I am, all day, everyday, baby. I haven't come to visit you because I have been busy dealing with this greedy-ass lawyer and selling the house. You don't belong in there, baby! So I hope this letter puts your mind at ease and gives you one less thing to worry about. I got you.
Toi
Oh. One other thing . . . I'm pregnant!
I couldn't help but crack a deep smile when I read that part.
“Tyson!” I held the letter in my hand in the air. “My girl wrote me and she's pregnant!”
Tyson paused on his bobbing and weaving, took the letter from me and scanned the paper. He laughed. “Congratulations, my nigga!”
“Thanks, man.”
We slapped fist.
“I bet that gives you something to look forward to, huh?”
I chuckled. “Yeah, my baby didn't quit on me after all. She's in my corner and to know that I'm about to be a father is the best feeling in the world.”
“Seems like everything is going to work out for you.”
I got on my bunk and nodded. I was the happiest I had been since I had gotten there.
Tyson stood by my bed as I talked. “At first I thought she had given up on me. You know. I mean, I'm in prison. That's enough to scare any woman. I should have known better.”
“How long have you been with her?”
“Three years. I've never cheated on her and I have always treated her well. I'm talking about taking her out to eat once a week, sending flowers to her job, getting her hair and nails and feet done. That's my baby.” I chuckled. “Matter a' fact, she really doesn't have to work. I pay pretty much all her bills, anyway. I moved her out of the projects. And when she has my baby she is not going to have to work.”
“Well, shit, that's why she ain't going nowhere. You can't get any better than that.” He held his arms out.
I nodded.
“But don't you think you spoiled her?”
“Spoiled her? Hell, yeah! She's my woman. My queen. I wouldn't have the shit no other way.” I licked my lips and said, “I'm gonna marry her one day.”
“What makes her worth marrying?” he asked.
It was a question I had never been asked before.
I shrugged. “I love her.”
“Yeah, but it has to be more than that.” He swallowed and said, “How is she qualified to be your wife?”
Before I could answer, he said, “Don't get me wrong. Sounds like a good woman you got there, based on her being by your side and all.” He waved his hand as if he wanted me to disregard his question.
“How did you meet her?”
I chuckled and thought back to the day I had met Toi. It was spring break and I was trying to have fun so I rolled with Calhoun, who had borrowed his mother's car. We were only driving through the Springdales.
We were trying to look like we had dough, but we didn't have shit.
That's when I saw a big, firm ass and sexy thighs that instantly had me drooling. I was praying her face looked just as fine as her body did.
Not taking my eyes off of her, I told Calhoun, “Aye. Get baby attention for me.”
He was eyeballing her too. “For you?”
“Yeah.”
Calhoun honked the horn at her and yelled out the window of the car, “Aye baby? What it do?”
She turned around, looked at him, giggled, and walked up to the car. She was fine as hell with mocha brown skin, dimples, and a gap in her teeth. Her hair was slicked in a ponytail. She was wearing a pair of shorts and a pink tank top with some flip-flops.
Before I could lean over and tell her to come to the passenger side, Calhoun cock blocked.
“What's your name, baby?”
“Toi.”
“Well, my name Calhoun. Let me take you out and wine and dine you, baby.”
I was fuming in my seat.
“Oh, you gonna wine and dine me?”
“Yeah, baby. Where you wanna go?”
“Red Lobster. Can you hang with that?” That's when she finally looked my way. She paused for a second before turning her attention back on Calhoun. But her eyes came my way again.
“Yeah, I can hang with that cause I'm a real nigga. Now, what's your number?”
She told him her digits and Calhoun put them in his phone. “You didn't give me no fake shit, did you?”
“No!”
“Umm- hmm.” He dialed her number.
We heard a phone ring. “See. I told you that's my real number,” she said, giggling. She pulled her phone off of her hip and pressed a button on it, silencing Calhoun's call.
“Well, you know how y'all females do.”
“Shit, you know how y'all niggas do. If you ain't got money to take me out don't even bother calling.”
Her eyes locked with mine one more time before she walked away.
“Ha!” Calhoun winked at me.
Didn't matter though, I had put the number in my cell phone too so I ignored him.
When I got to my mom's house later on, I called her.
The first thing she said was, “Aye. Calhoun. You got another bitch? 'Cause some girl is calling my phone and cursing at me!”
I chuckled. Calhoun had two kids by two different women. He had his first kid at fifteen and his other at seventeen. Both lived in Springdales so it was no telling who was calling her. One of them had probably got his cell phone and was calling the numbers in it.
“Listen. I'm not Calhoun. Let me tell you who I am.”
She was silent for a moment. “Oh. 'Cause he's been calling me from different numbers so I thought it was him. And some bitch has been blocking her number and calling my phone.”
So I laid it on thick and some would say I hated on my homie. But I saw her first and plus what would Calhoun do with her besides get her all caught up in his baby mama drama and hurt her? I was the better pick. I would do right by her.
I wanted her. So I got her.
Next time I saw Calhoun, I told him, “Aye remember baby we swooped up on a couple weeks ago?”
“Yeah man, the redbone with the big ass?”
He was messing with so many chicks he had her mixed up with someone else.
“No, this one was dark skin. Her name was Toi. That's all me. I got that on lock. So take her number out of your phone.”
Calhoun was quiet for a moment I guess trying to remember who Toi was. When he did, he looked at me like he wanted to whip my ass.
“I saw her first, nigga,” I said. Then playfully, I rushed him and we ended up falling in the grass outside my mama's apartment.
Calhoun was pissed at first and yelled, “Get the fuck off of me.” I kept fucking with him by throwing jabs at his upper body. We had never let women come between us. So eventually he laughed and tried to twist me up on the grass. But he ended up twisted up like a pretzel.
Tyson broke me out of my thoughts.
“If she were a celebrity, who would she look like?” he asked, all into my story like Toi was standing in front of him.
“I would say she looks like Trina, but darker and thicker.”
“Damn! Thicker than Trina? She sounds like a winner, dude. You better keep her.”
“She would have been a fool to pick that nigga over me. I love my boy and all but he ain't no good to women, he just ain't.”
That initial conversation with Toi led to a date, the date led to us being inseparable ever since. She made the right choice.
Reminiscing about her had me feeling so good that when they let us out for rec, the first place I went was over to the pay phones. Not wanting to make her phone bill sky-high, I called my mama and had her call Toi on the three-way. I had to hear my baby's voice.

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