Thug in Me (23 page)

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Authors: Karen Williams

BOOK: Thug in Me
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She was still so tight.
“Isaiah!”
“I know, baby.”
I wanted to take my time and really enjoy her. And let her enjoy the things I was doing to her body.
But she was pleading with me.
I placed more kisses between her thighs, down to her knees, then back up again toward her pussy, and licked the juices that leaked there.
For a second I thought about going in her without protection and getting her pregnant so I could always have her in my life despite whatever happened between us. I had never had the desire to get a woman pregnant so soon. And I was about to take a gamble and do it because I loved Deyja. But before I could, she pointed at the nightstand.
So I edged my way toward it, pulled it opened and pulled out a condom she had resting on the top of bras and underwear. I ripped it open and put it on. Then I got back on the bed and pulled her body on top of mine so that she could ride me.
First she took her time and rode me slowly. But I started slapping her on the ass and pressuring her to speed up.
“Come on. Get that dick, baby.”
That's when she got wild with it, thrusting up and down on me and twisting her body in a circular motion.
I reached up and grasped her breasts and started playing with her nipples, squeezing them between my fingers. Then I rubbed my palms across them.
I then gripped her and propelled her up and down on my dick so she could move at a faster pace.
Her moaning continued and I flipped her over so that I could hit it from the back.
But before I stuck it back in, I began eating her from behind while gripping her ass in my hands.
She pleaded with me. “Isaiah, please finish making love to me!” She was reaching behind her, grabbing my knees.
I reinserted my dick back into her.
“Get it,” I told her, breathing hard.
She started bumping against me, making me groan as her pussy splashed against me.
I then started meeting her pace, ramming into her harder and harder.
I held onto my nut so she could get hers, but once she started convulsing and her pussy twitching on my dick, I let loose all up in her. Well, I wish into her, but into the condom.
The next thing I knew we were all sweaty in the bed. Despite the sweat and how hot we felt, we were still all on each other.
I played with her by saying, “You got wild with it, D,” giving her a nickname.
She buried her head in my chest. “Oh god. I'm sorry!”
I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her on her head.
“Naw, it's cool. I liked it, baby.”
She sat up in the bed. “Isaiah, all of this feels so foreign to me.”
“What?”
“This. Do you know how long it has been since I have even dated, let alone had sex with a man?”
It couldn't have been as long as I had been waiting,
I wanted to say, but I didn't.
“I honestly feel like I'm starting all over again, because for so long, I have been scared to see another man. But you, I don't know . . . there is something different about you, Isaiah. I feel safe on so many levels. It doesn't feel like I've known you a couple of months. And you have been in my head ever since out first date. And I think I want to explore where this can go.”
It sounded so good to hear her say that.
But I was curious. “Why has it been so long since you have dated someone else?”
That's when she inhaled as if she was about to speak, then she stopped herself.
“I'm going to go and get the spaghetti served up for us.”
Chapter 35
We made love four times that day.
Deyja pretty much had to push me out of her house. I didn't want to leave.
“If I don't get you out of here I'm not going to be able to get any work done!” she said as she pulled up to my hotel. I wasn't ashamed to show her where I lived, because she said my financial status and living situation didn't matter to her I wondered what
would
matter to her. What would be a deal breaker for us? And there were still things I wanted to confess to her, but fear of losing her wouldn't let me.
“Bye, Isaiah.”
“Bye, baby.” I kissed her sweet lips again and got out of her car.
I waved to her one last time before going into the building.
Once I got to my room I unlocked my door, walked in, and laid back on my bed, reliving the past couple days.
I had never fell for somebody so hard and so bad as this girl in my life.
“Man.” I chuckled, thinking about her.
Then there was a knock on my door.
I figured it was Deyja. Maybe she changed her mind about work and wanted to play some more.
But when I opened the door, I saw Toi standing there.
I paused and stared at her.
She placed two hands up as if in surrender. “Before you think I'm stalking, let me come in.” No response from me.
“Can I come in?”
“No.”
“Chance, you ain't gotta act like this, baby. Come home to me. And it can be like old times.” She gestured toward my room. “You aint' gotta stay in no shit hole like this! Yeah, I'm back in the Springdales, but my crib is decked out. We can be like old times. Like no time has passed between us.”
She reached out to hug me.
I took a step back, causing her hands to fall to her sides.
Her face turned to an ugly scowl. “Is it cause of that bitch who just dropped you off?”
“You need to stay out my business,” I warned.
“Humph. I guess that fucking bitch got your nose wide open. With her stuck-up ass.”
“Yeah? And what do you know about her?”
“That she is the bitch you chasing after. Keep on chasing after her. That's all you'll ever be able to do, 'cause I'm pretty sure she don't do convicts!”
Her head rolled around on her neck and she now had her hands on her hips. “I bet you ain't bothered to tell her you did seven years in jail for murdering a cop.”
“You need to get the fuck on, Toi.” I made a move to close the door in her face but her words stopped me.
“Maybe I'll just pay her a visit and tell her my damn self.”
That's when I snatched her in the room and had her hemmed up against the wall.
I studied her face. First she seemed scared, then hurt, then angry. “Muthafu—”
But I was tired of her and her bullshit.
I placed a hand over her mouth. “Shut up.” I stepped even closer to her and stared in her eyes intently. “Listen and listen well. What we had—is gone. I don't love you. I don't even like you. I don't want no parts of you. Get that shit through your fucking head! Leave Deyja the fuck alone, keep my name out your fucking mouth, and stop coming around here!”
Tears spilled from her eyelids onto my fingers.
When I released her, she slid to the ground, looking pitiful.
I turned my back on her and shook my head.
Then in a flash, before I could catch her, she ran to my kitchen area.
“Get the fuck out!”
Next thing I knew, she was rushing toward me with a knife in her hand, yelling, “Muthafucka!”
She aimed it toward my chest.
I moved over to the side and she blindly plunged it into the wall, putting a hole there. She spun back around, facing me. She paused as if she was deciding whether or not to go after me again.
Before she could make another move, I lunged for her, knocking her on the floor.
I used my strength to twist her body up like a pretzel with one hand and snatched the knife out of her hands with my other hand.
She started sobbing uncontrollably.
I didn't want to hurt her. But at the same time, like I said, I didn't want any parts of her.
“Chance, please! It's 'cause I love you so much, that I'm acting this way. I'm sorry I turned my back on you! Please give me another chance!”
I tossed the knife toward the kitchen and went to the door. I opened it and held it open for her.
“Get out.”
She dragged her miserable ass out my door, sobbing all the way.
Once she was gone, I slammed the door shut and locked it behind her.
Chapter 36
The next day, Deyja ended up popping up at my job during my lunch break.
“Hi, baby.”
“Hi,” she said.
I studied her. Something didn't look right.
I came from around the counter and hugged her. “Everything okay?”
She pulled away. “Isaiah. I need you to go somewhere with me.”
I closed the shop and called Zalman to let him know I would be gone a couple hours. He said it was going to cost me. I didn't care.
I was surprised when she brought me to an actual cemetery called
Forest Lawn
. I wondered what her purpose was bringing me there.
“Remember when you asked me why I hadn't been with another man in a long time?”
“Yeah.”
We got out of her car and continued to walk past the cars down a path of tombstones.
“Well, I am going to show you why, today. Now.”
We continued to walk down the path.
I glanced a few feet away from where we were, a huge group of people were gathered by a grave, looking utterly depressed.
Being there made me think of my mother.
I looked away but continued to follow her until she said, “Okay. Isaiah, here it is.”
We stopped in front of a huge tombstone. I read the words engraved on them and froze in disbelief.
Devin Johnson
, 1/1/1980–3/6/2003.
Gone Far Too soon And Never To Be Forgotten
.
He was the man I went to jail for murdering.
“He was my fiancé. He was killed the night before we were supposed to get married seven years ago.”
Tears slipped from her eyes as she relived it. “He was the love of my life. My everything. And after he died, I wanted to die. I couldn't imagine living in this world without him. He was all I had out here. My home, my comfort. When he died, I flew back home to Baltimore and stayed with my parents, wanting to get away from all the madness, all the memories of me and him. I knew I had to get out of the house that we shared because all it did was make me want to die. I would smell him, see him, and I thought I was going crazy. So I sold our house and left. But when I went back home, all I did out there was cry and cry. Everyone that I came into contact with who knew about what had happened to me, felt so sorry for me that even if I managed to make it through a day without crying they would make me cry all over again, by reminding me. So a year later, I came back to California. I thought if I kept myself busy with work the pain would be less. I threw myself into real estate so I had no time to think about anything else. I ended up doing so well and I became so busy that I opened up my own real estate office. It kept me busy but still nothing felt right anymore. I was unable to move on and love another man after him. And part of me felt like it was a betrayal to him if I did. During that time, I felt so empty inside.” She smiled through her tears and cupped my face in her hands. “And now seven years later, I meet you. Isaiah, baby, you have shown me that I can. You—I don't know!” she screamed excitedly. “You don't know what you have done for me. There has to be something different about you. You woke me up. You make me smile and laugh. You make me feel good. And most of all, you make me feel like it is okay to love you.” She wrapped my arms around me and sobbed into my neck.
I was still in shock and had a sick feeling in my stomach.
 
 
I continued to replay Deyja's words in my head at home and who she was at home.
I shook my head. The man I went to jail for murdering was the same man that Deyja was going to marry. To know this killed me and to know what I had to do at this point killed me even more.
She had been calling me nonstop since we had gone to the grave site. I ignored the calls out of fear that she would pop up at my job I worked at the other store. But when she showed up at my room, I knew what I would have to do.
I opened the door and simply stared at her. I must have avoided her long enough, I thought.
“Hi,” she said in a shaky voice.
My tone was flat, not loving like it used to be. “What's up.”
“Can I come in?”
“Naw. I'm tired.”
She looked at me, confused. “Isaiah, I have been calling you nonstop and a couple times I stopped by the shop and you weren't there. I got worried about you. I asked Zalman what was going on but he was tight-lipped. What is this?”
I gave her a fake laugh. “Look, I think you got me misunderstood. What you looking for, I'm not. I'm not trying to be your man and you just a little too needy for me.”
She whispered, “What?”
“I ain't looking for what you looking for, baby girl.”
“But I—”
“Bitch. I don't want you! It wasn't never like that, so fall the fuck back!”
Her eyes teared up instantly and her shoulders begin to shake.
“Isaiah?”
I turned my back on her. “It was just pus—” my voice cracked. “Pussy to me.”
Silence was all I got. All I wanted to do was take her in my arms, though. It crushed me to say that bullshit to her.
She turned and walked away.
I took a step to go after her, then stopped myself. I would rather break up with her then have her find out who I really was. What were the chances she would believe that I was innocent? None.
 
 
That night as I tossed and turned, I couldn't sleep for shit. I knew I couldn't let it stay that way. So I jumped out of bed, threw some clothes on, called a cab, and rushed over to her house.
When I got there, despite how late it was, I banged and banged on her door until I saw a light come on.
When she opened the door and saw me she immediately slapped the shit out of me.
I closed my eyes at the sting her little hand brought to my face. “I'm sorry, baby.”
But she wasn't done. I let her beat on me because I deserved the shit. I took all her punches and slaps.
Soon the beatings stopped because she was now sobbing uncontrollably.
I pulled her into my arms.
I carried her to her bedroom, all the while repeating, “I was just scared, baby.”
I laid her on her bed. She let me.
I proceeded to make love to her.
This may sound stupid, but I figured if I made love to her and if I was real good, it would correct the hurt I had inflicted upon her. And once I did serve her, I think that I did it right because once she came, she fell right asleep in my arms.

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