Throwing Love #4 (Throwing Love #4) (4 page)

I quickly got off the phone, regretting the fact that I had
asked him about Bennett at all.

I was steaming mad. I was thankful that I had managed to
keep my cool while talking to my father, but it hadn't been easy. I wanted to
choke him for the things he said. How could he put the business above my
happiness? There was nothing wrong with Bennett having a relationship right
now. We had been doing just fine before he showed up. Yes, Bennett definitely
needed to get back to his practices, but we could have continued dating
throughout that and we would have been just fine.

I walked out of my bedroom, unable to stop pacing around the
room. I went to make a pot of coffee. There was no point in trying to study, I
was frustrated and wouldn't be able to concentrate. I sat down at the kitchen
table and put my head in my hands.

I couldn't believe what my father had said to me, but what
was worse was that it appeared that Bennett was taking my father’s advice. It
was the only explanation for the way he had been behaving lately. I couldn't
believe that this was happening to me, and yet there it was right before my
eyes. My father was grooming Bennett for his team, and he was removing all
distractions to that end. It didn't seem to matter that I was the distraction
and my happiness was at stake. No, of course not, my father always got what he
wanted when it came to business.

If only Bennett hadn't skipped his practices, then maybe he
wouldn't have had to choose between
his career and us
. Why was I being punished for
his stupidity?

I got up and poured a cup of coffee to try to prevent myself
from pacing all over the apartment again. I couldn't help but remember all
those good dates we had when he was skipping practices. Things had been so good
between us then. All Bennett had wanted at that time was to be with me, how
could those feelings have just gone away?

I almost wished that we were back to those days –
anything to just keep our relationship going. I didn't want to be the one that
took his dream away, but I also couldn't imagine not having him in my life. How
could he make that choice? How could he want me gone?

I had no idea what I was going to do. I didn't want to give
Bennett an ultimatum because there was a chance that I would either lose him
completely or he would lose his dream. In the end, I didn't want Bennett to
grow to resent me because of my involvement in ruining his dreams.

I sent a text to Connie. I needed her now more than ever.

Chapter Seven

When Connie walked through the door, I immediately burst
into tears.

“Oh my God. What is going on?” She came to the kitchen table
quickly and wrapped her arms around me. It felt so good to be hugged, though I
felt like an idiot for crying like a baby.

“You didn't bring wine, did you? Because at this point I
think I'm becoming an alcoholic with all my relationship issues.” I sniffed.

She got up to pour us both more coffee, and she grabbed a
box of Kleenex and handed it to me.

“No, not this time. It's too early in the day for me. I
thought you were studying for a test.”

“I was before my father decided to ruin my life.”

“Uh oh, this doesn't sound good. What happened?”

“Ugh, I'm so sick of talking about it. You must be sick of
listening, that's for sure.”

“I am never sick of listening to your problems, that's what
friends are for. I'm here for you, Emmi. What's wrong?”

I wiped my nose with the Kleenex as she sat down at the
table with our coffee. I tentatively took a sip and the warmth soothed me
instantly.

“I made a mistake.”

“I doubt that. You are pretty level headed, Emmi.”

“I called my Dad about Bennett.”

“Okay, that was probably a mistake.”

I laughed. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

“No, you tell me about it. What happened with your dad?”

“I called him and asked him how Bennett was doing. He was
probably wondering why I didn't know.”

Connie nodded. “Does he know that you guys are still
together?”

“I wasn't sure at first, but yes he definitely does. He just
has no idea if it's serious or not.”

I took another drink of my coffee while I formed what I
wanted to say. Connie was also drinking her coffee, waiting patiently for me to
continue.

“So, I ask him and he tells me that things are going great
and that he imagines that Bennett will be in the majors soon if he keeps up all
his hard work.”

“Oh man. I bet he loves all those extra practices.”

“Oh, you bet he does.” I rolled my eyes, completely
exasperated by my father. “So, I ask him for more info and by the sounds of it,
he's going for Bennett. He wants him on his team, and I think it's only a
matter of time before it happens.”

“Wow, really? Well, that's what you both wanted, right? Even
Bennett wanted to be on your dad’s team, so it sounds like it's a win for
everyone.”

“I think I'm going to lose him, Connie.”

“Why? Why do you think that?”

“My dad asked how things were going between Bennett and me,
so I told him we were still seeing each other, but taking it slow. I was being
really vague because I don't want him meddling even more than he already is. If
he knew we were serious, I don't know how he would react.”

“Yeah, I understand that. It was probably the best thing to
do.”

“So after he asks, he tells me that I need to leave Bennett
alone.”

“What? Really? He told you that?”

“Yes, and I'm furious at him. He said that Bennett needs to
focus and I need to let him do that. He said to leave him be, that it was a bad
idea to get serious with Bennett right now.”

“Oh girl, I'm sorry. That must have been hard to hear.”

“It was brutal. I wanted to scream at him to mind his own
business, but it's pointless to get emotional when it comes to my dad’s
business because he doesn't believe emotions should be involved at all. I'm just
so angry. I think he's feeding all of this BS to Bennett, and he is obviously
taking my dad’s advice because I have barely talked to him all week. That's the
most frustrating part...what is wrong with Bennett? Why is he doing this to
me...to us?”

“Oh, sweetie, I don't think Bennett is trying to hurt you. I
think he's caught up in trying to build his dream. What your father said that
day clearly had an effect on him because he's doing whatever your father wants
now to make sure he gets in the major leagues. That's what you wanted for him,
right?”

“Yes, of course, but I want him, too. Is that just selfish?”

“No, it's not. You obviously care a great deal about
Bennett. You may even love him.” She smiled. “But going off on Bennett right
now will not get you what you want. If you start freaking out and telling him
to spend more time with you, then he is going to see you as a stumbling block
that he doesn't need.”

“Then what can I do?”

“Exactly what your father said.”

“No. I can't.”

Connie nodded at me. “Yes you can. In fact, you probably
don't have any choice at this point. You need to leave Bennett alone and let
him come to you when he is ready. I really believe that he will come back to
you. I think he will realize that he needs you just as much as you need him.
Having a little patience right now will pay off later in a much bigger way, I
assure you of that.”

“I'm so scared of losing him, Connie.” Tears were streaming
down my cheeks. I took another drink of coffee as I wiped them away.

“I know you are, but you will be okay. I promise.”

“Okay, I guess I don't have any other choice.”

Connie shook her head sadly. “No, you don't. The boys are
calling the shots right now. You will either get Bennett back or you will
realize you deserve so much better. Either way, you are going to be okay.”

She came over and hugged me again. What she was saying made
a lot of sense and whether I liked it or not, I would have to let Bennett
decide if he really wanted to be with me anymore.

I took a deep breath and calmed myself down. Everything was
going to be
all
right
.
I just had to believe that.

Chapter Eight

What Connie had said hit home for me. Unfortunately, it
didn't last very long. I had made the decision to back off from Bennett hoping
that he would notice my absence and come back to me. But the next week passed
with very little effort on Bennett's part. I didn't bother to bring up my
concerns with him because I wanted to be supportive and didn't want to push him
away even further. The problem was, the less I bugged Bennett for time, the
more he seemed to spend on the field. It was like he embraced the fact that I
called him less and decided to spend even more time practicing.

It was becoming increasingly frustrating, as well as hurtful.
How could he not see what he was doing? Or maybe he did and just didn't care
anymore. It was becoming abundantly clear that Bennett chose to spend the
majority of his time on the field and not with me. What could I do about it?
Basically nothing.

While I was trying to be understanding, what was really
happening was that I was becoming more and more discontent with the
relationship that I was in. There was something seriously wrong between Bennett
and me. I was starting to think that I should just throw in the towel
completely. My whole sense of happiness in my relationship was being disrupted
by the fact that Bennett was being totally selfish with his time. I couldn't
even believe he didn't notice my absence. Did he not miss me at all?

Even talking to Connie had lost its effectiveness. There was
only so much she could say to me before it all just sounded like excuses. She
meant well for sure, but she had no idea how I felt. My world seemed to be
falling apart. I wanted a relationship with Bennett, but what we had together
was falling apart. There was nothing Connie could say that could change that
fact.

I made the decision to give Bennett a call and hope for the
best. I crawled out of my warm bed and grabbed my phone off of the nightstand.
I made the call and hoped he would answer the phone this time.

As luck would have it, he answered right away.

“Hey, Emmi, how are you?”

“I'm good, Bennett. Long time no talk.”

There was a pause. “Yes, I'm really sorry that we haven't
been spending as much time as we used to. I just have a lot going on right
now.”

This would have been the perfect opportunity for me to
unload on him and try to open his eyes about our relationship. But I decided to
heed Connie's advice and leave it alone. I could hear in his voice that he felt
bad and maybe that alone was a good sign.

“I understand. Look I'm calling because I was hoping we
could have lunch on Sunday? Would that be possible? I would really like to see
you.”

“Let me check my schedule.”

Oh great.

He paused as he looked at his calendar. “Yeah it looks like
I'm free, so we are on for lunch, for sure.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “That's great.”

“I'm looking forward to seeing you, Emmi.”

I smiled, though I still felt so sad inside. “Me, too,
Bennett.”

We didn't talk further about his time away from the
relationship. He knew something was wrong, that was at least some hope. I just
needed to be happy that I had a date with him finally and keep my fingers
crossed that it would keep blossoming from there.

“I do have one request, though, Bennett, if that's okay.”

“Sure, Emmi, what's up?”

“I would like the opportunity to spend the whole day with
you. I know you don't have a game or practice and it would mean a lot to me. We
haven't done that in so long.”

“I would like that, too.” There was excitement in his voice
that made me smile. He sounded like he used to sound when we were together all
the time. I felt that same old sense of excitement that our relationship used
to have. The fire that had almost blown out seemed to be flickering in the air
once again. I hoped that this would be an opportunity to rekindle our old flame
because I wanted that more than anything. I did not want thing to die between
us. It may be up to me to get us back on track, but I felt like I could be up
to the challenge if it meant getting my man back.

Chapter Nine

Sunday arrived quicker than I could imagine and I was as
giddy as a schoolgirl. I couldn't wait until I could be in Bennett's arms once
again. He agreed to come a little earlier so that we could have brunch instead
of lunch since he promised I could have the whole day with him.

I dressed in something casual and pulled my long locks into
a loose ponytail. I did my makeup and waited impatiently for him to come and
pick me up.