Through Her Eyes (32 page)

A
FTER LEAVING
P
ARKER’S HOUSE
there is one more stop to be made.

Inhale

Exhale

Breathe

Every breath you take is one step closer to moving forward. Holding Chase’s hand, I move my way toward the last bit of closure I need. A shadow looms over us. Streams of light flicker in through a canopy of clouds. The foggy haze begins to lift, and I turn my head toward his. Our eyes meet, his lips part. He gives me a knowing nod and squeezes my hand gently. It’s just a small reminder that he’s here, but it’s enough for me to stay my path. On our way up to the destination in front of us, we pass a mass of trees that darken as the sun drops back behind the clouds. Only a few more steps. I can do this.

I step forward and stare at the headstone. The gray marble with etched words I never thought I would see stares back at me. Tears well in my eyes, and I turn to Chase. “Sometimes I miss him so much I don’t know how to breathe. He was your best friend. How do you do it?”

“All you can do is own your pain and grow from it. Remember, sometimes people aren’t meant to stay in your life. Sometimes they are meant to pass through and teach you about yourself. You can do this, Aria. You are stronger than you ever thought you could be.” He squeezes my hand in his, then steps onto the path, allowing me time alone with Parker. My Parker.

He was all the great parts of me. When I was alone and struggling to find my way, feeling unloved, he loved me. If he could love me, I know I’m worthy of being loved.

“I miss you every day. You were my rock, my shoulder to cry on. You were my strength when I had none. You were the very best parts of me, and I will love you always.” In the grand scheme of life, I’d only known him a brief second, but that moment of my life would last me until the end of time.

“When I think of the short time we had together, I don’t regret anything except that I never told you I loved you, because I do and always did. Chase says you knew that. That you always knew how I felt. I pray every day that’s true. I pray that you did know what you meant to me. What you will always mean to me. You made me change my perspective. You opened my eyes, and I thank you for that.

“I want to thank you for coming into my life and teaching me about myself. I want to thank you for every time you held me and put me back together. For loving me and teaching me, many years ago, that my grief will eventually fade and what’s left behind is a beautiful memory to always cherish. I’d forgotten that lesson. Chase has reminded me. Letting someone go isn’t a sign of weakness, but rather it’s the mark of strength.

“I will always be yours, Parker. You’ll always own a piece of my heart, but it’s time I move on. I’ll never forget you, and I know it would make you happy that Chase brings me peace. With him, I’ve finally found the piece of me that was missing. We’ve decided to give us a try and see where the road takes us. So after long consideration, I’ve decided this will be my last postcard. Not because I don’t still love you, but because it’s time for me to move on. I’ll celebrate you and honor you in every breath I take for as long as I’m blessed to take it. Thank you for giving me your heart. I will never let it go. I will keep it with me forever.”

Dear Park,

All the things I never said to you—I could fill one million cards with all the words and missed moments between us. But I know you’d never want that. Before I say goodbye, I want to tell you that you were right . . . about everything. Thank you for that. Everything I learned on this journey was because of you. You believed in me before I believed in myself. I’ll cherish all the memories I have with you until the end of time. You’ll live in my heart forever. I never had time to tell you that I do love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you.

Yours,

Ari.

The greatest journeys in life are those not planned.

T
HE LAST HALF OF
a year has passed quickly. Right after saying good-bye to Parker, Chase was asked to do a photo shoot in Portugal. He wanted me to go with him, and at first I was hesitant. I mean, I was still trying to find my place in the world, but then I realized maybe this was my place. After a lengthy discussion in which I shared my travel desires with him, we decided to give it a go. We researched day and night for the first few weeks and soon learned that certain brands and multiple tourism boards paid for exposure, and then we discovered that restaurants and hotel chains were constantly vying for photographers to shoot their products, stay at their hotels, and even eat their food. With a large enough Instagram and blog following, you could earn a living leveraging your follows, as well. So we decided we would travel together. I’d report from our locations, and he would shoot the pictures.

It was everything I dreamed of from a job perspective, and more than I could dream of from a personal one. Every day for six months, we discovered new treasures and fell in love a little more. Every minute we were together was monumental, but even the moments that seemed inconsequential were equally important because we were together. Life was good, and even things with my parents were starting to improve. Dad and I kept in touch. We were working hard to mend the distance between us and mom was finally getting the help she needed. I had faith that in time we’d be able to form some sort of relationship.

He pulls me into him, and the movement makes my loose strands of hair flow against the wind. He begins to snap his camera. I cherish these images most of all. They are intimate, beautiful, and ours.

“There’s something about towering peaks and deep valleys that inspire me.” His breath tickles my neck and makes tiny goose bumps awaken across my flesh. He’s right, the view is spectacular. I can see the sun set on a distant horizon.
The only place you can see all four seasons in one day.

These days I’m often in constant awe of the beauty that surrounds us. Chase has given me the gift of seeing the splendor around me, and now I can’t turn it off. Not that I want to. Snowcapped mountains span the distance. They fade into the horizon, making a path toward the heavens. I feel as if I can touch the sky. Heaven is only a fingertip away

“This is what happiness is.” My lids close and the sun lightly tickles my face. “This is peace.” He lowers the camera and I turn to face him. Peering up into his eyes, once again I lose myself in his mesmerizing gaze.

“You steal the breath from my lungs, Aria. You like this . . . it’s what I’ve been waiting for. You’re truly remarkable.” He pulls me into his embrace. His touch is comforting, warm, and tender. “If I were drowning, I would want you to be my last breath of air.” His gaze never wavers as he speaks his poetry to me, the depth of his blue eyes endless like the sky.

“What are you looking at, Princess?” His nose crinkles as his eyes peer down at me.

“How beautiful you look.”

“Beautiful?”

“Yes, Chase Porter. You’re beautiful. Your heart, your love. You healed me one broken piece at a time.”

“You were never broken, just a bit cracked.” His hand reaches out to stroke my cheek.

“You’re really good at loving me,” I say as I give him a lopsided smile.

“Loving you is the easy part.” His lips descend, and he places a delicate kiss on my lips.

It’s funny to think of how far I’ve come. The change was so gradual I barely noticed it, but before I knew it, like a masterpiece from yesterday’s past, he had etched himself into my life.

When I set out six months ago for Italy, I hadn’t planned to fall in love, but life doesn’t always play out the way you expect. Chase taught me how to fall in love. He taught me how to fall in love with
me
.

“I’m out of my mind in love with you.” He peers down at me as I speak, his long eyelashes blinking rapidly.

“Good to know, Princess. Because to me, you’re the sun, you’re the moon, you’re the stars in the sky. To me, you’re everything.” His eyes sparkle as his lips turn up, the right side a bit higher than the left to bring on the smirk I’ve loved since the first time we met. His fingers touch my jaw, and he gently tilts my chin up. His mouth covers mine, and I sigh into his breath.
Like coming home
. Kissing Chase always feels like I’m coming home.

“Nothing can be more perfect than this.”

“I love you, my beautiful girl. This is the beginning of our latest adventure. Only time will tell where this journey is headed, but I’m excited to find out.” My weight softens against him. The future might be unknown as it’s not yet written, but mine is crystal clear. Everything is in focus.

Life is tiny hills, giant mountains, and adventures for us to conquer. No matter how big, I know I will conquer them all.

“I love you.”

One phrase.

Three simple words.

A moment that changed everything.

Life is measured by all of these moments. That’s what it’s all about.

The little dreams.

The little flashes of time.

And seeing how beautiful life is . . .

Through your own eyes.

THE END

I want to thank my entire family. I love you all. We’re a crazy bunch but I love that about us!

To Mom, Thank you for keeping all my poems

To Liz, Thank you for helping me create my first “book”.

To my sister: You inspired this story with your many adventures and the map on your wall! I love you, baby girl.

Thank you to my husband for always loving me, I love you so much!

A special thanks to my “Bears”. You’re everything!

Thank you to all the amazing indie companies that helped mold my words.

Champagne Formats

Chelsea Kuhel (
www.madisonseidler.com
)

Write Girl Editing Services

Indie After Hours

Behind the Writer

Thank you Lisa from the TRSOR for being amazing, supportive and helping spread the word!

Thank you to Linda from Sassy Savvy for your help with promo and getting my story into so many new hands.

Thank you to Neda from Ardent Prose PR for your unending support.

Thanks to Jenny Woods for taking the most perfect pictures in the world!

A very big thanks to Hang Le! I adore your work and I love that you get me! Sorry for always bothering you with just one more thing . . .