Through Her Eyes (18 page)

Love and miss you,

Ari

I hold my breath. Excitement courses through me as I take in my surroundings. The Blue Grotto. The infamous cave looms in front of me.

“What are we doing here?” I say in awe as Chase’s arms wrap around me from behind.

“Want to take a dip?” His mouth tickles the back of my neck. I feel the warmth from his lips as he speaks.

“What?” I say, perplexed. He couldn’t possibly have said what I think he did.

“Take a dip. Go for a swim. Get in the water.”

“I know what you mean. Stop fooling around. We aren’t going in, obviously. Is it even allowed? Plus, I’m not wearing a bathing suit.” I thank my lucky stars that I can clearly see the sign banning entry on top of the cliff.

“If you mean is it illegal and dangerous? Then, yes. It closed hours ago. But come on, it will be fun. Plus, you can always go naked. I don’t have a suit on, either.” I feel the curve of a smile form against my skin.

“I—” My heart starts to pound. Invisible walls start closing in. I can’t get in the water. I can’t.

“What’s wrong?”

“I . . . I don’t know. I don’t think I can, Chase. I . . . I haven’t been in the ocean since Owen’s death.” My shoulders collapse forward. A lone tear trails down my cheek.

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry. I— Shit. I fucked up.” He steps out from behind me. His face is ashen. Ragged breaths escape his lungs.

“I’ll be with you. I won’t let anything happen to you. We’ll do this together. What can I do to help you?”

“God, I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you think it will make you feel better to talk about him, about what happened?”

I feel as if I’m about to be sick. I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to remember.

“It might help you heal if you talk about it,” he replies in a gentle voice.

I’m floating in a sea of despair and I’m about to drown.

I’m completely overwhelmed by fear. My eyes are blinded by the tears pouring out as the grief surges through me every time I try to breathe. The emptiness in my heart from reliving this memory threatens to suffocate me. I shake as I look at the water. My teeth rattle in my mouth.

“Shh, don’t hide from your fears. Conquer them. Be present, be here. We can do this together.” I stare at him through swollen eyes. Where had I heard that before?

“What did you just say?”

“You can’t hide from your fears, Princess. You can’t stop living.”

“I stopped living years ago. I’ve barely existed since Owen passed. I fucked up. It was my fuck-up that killed him. I hurt everyone around me.”

“No matter what happened, you can change things. Live, fuck up. The only thing that’s important is that you learned from those mistakes and continue to move forward.”

The painful memories of Owen’s death hum within me. I want to scream that I’m not ready for this. Soon, the white noise fades as Chase holds me close. He looks at me, and our eyes meet, and I’m rendered speechless.

He silences my world. The craziness in my brain stops.

Peace.

“Lean on me, okay? Once we get in the water, I got you. I won’t let you go.”

“This isn’t easy for me.”

“I know.”

“I’m not used to feeling this lost. I don’t want to need anyone. But I need you. That used to scare me. But well, I’m not afraid of that anymore. I know you won’t let anything happen to me.” His eyes light up brighter as I speak. His lip turns upward.

“You’ll do this with me?” he asks.

“Just give me a minute, okay?” I inhale deeply and hold the breath in my lungs.

“Breathe,” he commands in a playful voice.

“It hurts to breathe,” I whisper back without letting out the breath I’m holding.

“Take it one step at a time. Just inhale.” My chest rises as I suck in the salty air. “Exhale.” And I do.

“Okay, what do I need to do?”

“I’m proud of you.”

“Just tell me before I freak out again.”

“Since it’s late in the afternoon the waves are higher than normal. You’ll have to swim underwater right at the mouth of the cave, okay?” My heart rate picks up at his words.

“I have to swim under?”

“Yeah, but I got you.” He looks down at me, and I know he does.

A crazy notion filters through me. Trust. Quickly, before I have time to change my mind, I strip off my clothes and stand before him in only my bra and panties. He pulls off his shirt and leaves his shorts on. Holding hands, we step toward the back of the boat, directly in front of the mouth of the Blue Grotto.

“I can’t, Chase.”

“You can. Repeat after me, I intend to conquer my fears.”

“I intend to conquer my fears.”

“Okay, on three. One . . . Two . . . Three . . . Jump!” And we do. The wind is knocked out of me as my body connects with the frigid water. It feels like tiny needles as my body adjusts to the sudden drop in temperature. Once the shock wears off, I kick my legs, and we swim toward the opening. The gap to the low mouth of the cave is already small, and with each minute that passes it shrinks further as the tide rises.

“Hold my hand. Swim underwater with me.” I follow his lead and make my way into the cave. When I pop up on the other side, a bright azure reflection surrounds us.

“It’s beautiful, Chase. How does it look like this?” I’m treading water, my chest bobbing with the ebb and flow of the tide.

“It happens because of the sun. The sunlight enters the cavern through an underwater opening. Then the light reflects off the cavern walls.”

“It’s unbelievable.” My eyes widen in delight.

I look back at the opening where beams of sunlight pass through, illuminating the seawater. It’s truly spectacular. I feel my mouth pull up at the corners. I’ve done it. Once more I pushed passed my resistance and accomplished something I never believed possible.

“Thank you, Chase.”

He swims closer, and I wrap my arms around him, allowing him briefly to kick for me. To support my weight. I give him my full trust.

“Thank you,” I say against his lips. I offer a series of soft kisses as he treads water.

“Anything for you. Anything.” The happiness, like the azure blue water surrounding me, soaks into my soul.

“Aria, we should swim back. The tide is rising fast, and I don’t want you to hit your head on the rocks when we leave.” I hold his hand as we kick toward the entrance. He smiles and encourages me to dive deep. When I resurface in the open water, a laugh escapes my body. Chase leads me back toward the boat.

We swim a short distance before we reach the ladder. His arm snakes around my waist, pushing me forward. I grab the railing and turn to face him, my legs wrapping instinctively around him. His hands tighten around me, skimming over my hips. Pressing our bodies together, I entwine my arms around his neck. Hidden emotions bubble to the surface. God, I want him. My lips part, and his mouth rushes to meet mine. His tongue seeks entry and my skin pebbles. A chill runs down my spine. The only sound in my ears is the waves lapping against the boat. My heart pounds so erratically I feel it might burst. Chase nips at my lip and pulls away. A moan escapes me. Kissing Chase is exquisite torture.

“You’re driving me insane.” The words sound sultry and he laughs. The tone carries over the water. It’s a rich harmony to my ears.

“Come on, we have to get dressed or we’ll be late.”

“Late?” I’m breathless, my words barely audible.

“A surprise.” He smirks.

As his mouth moves back over mine, silencing me, I become lost in his trance once more.

Chase Porter has cast a spell on me. He beguiles me, and every time he smiles I go weak in the knees.

Chase clears his throat as I step out of the shower wrapped only in a tiny towel that barely covers me. He slowly drinks me in. His eyes are hungry. They dilate with every inch of my body they linger on. They devour me. I move past him, swaying my hips and making my way into my cabin. He groans behind me, and I chuckle to myself.

After getting ready to leave, I meet up with Chase on the dock right outside the boat. He’s engrossed in a conversation with a beautiful Italian woman.
Who the fuck is he talking to?
He throws back his head in laughter, and anger boils deep inside me. She places her hand on his arm as she joins him in laughter. Hours ago we were kissing, and now he’s laughing with some goddess. The corner of my mouth twitches as my lips begin to pucker. I’m jealous.

Insanely jealous.

As I take him in, I feel as though I’m going mad. He looks so handsome in white linen pants, driving loafers, and a baby pink button down. Not many can pull off that color, but against the scruff of his jaw, his hair brushed back and wavy, and his steel eyes that are locked on mine. He’s sheer perfection, and I hate him right now. Pulling my shoulders back, I march up to them and don’t even pretend to calm myself.

“I’m Aria, and you are?” I say as I push my hand out, my nose scrunching as I speak.
God I sound like a bitch. What the fuck is wrong with me?

“Aria, this is Maria. Her family owns the dock. She came over to make sure we were settled in okay,” he says as an introduction. What the fuck? Maria? Maria? As in torrid love affair, Maria? Why was she standing so close to him, and what in God’s name were they laughing about? My mouth tightens, and my anger rises so fast it’s like a raging inferno with no extinguisher in sight.
Clearly I’m just the next summer fling
. Maybe I need to leave
. I feel ridiculous standing here as they gaze longingly at each other.
Self-doubt begins to cloud my anger, and I’m not sure what I’m even still doing here. He must feel the heat radiating off my body, or he sees the daggers and flames shooting from my eyes because he places his arm around my back. Slowly stroking. Calming. Putting out the fire.

“Umm,” I choke out. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” I bite my lower lip into my mouth.

“The pleasure is all mine, Aria. I hope you enjoy your stay on our lovely island, and if you need me, please don’t hesitate to call.” She beams, oblivious to my attitude and outburst.
Thank God for small favors.
Chase squeezes my side tighter as she makes her way further down the dock to greet other residents staying at port. I look up at him, and our eyes meet. His eyes twinkle down at me in delight.
Shit, he noticed.

I use my hands to flatten my dress. I need to keep them busy to distract myself from the nerves growing inside me. The delicate eyelet dress ruffles slightly as I run my fingers against my thigh. Chase’s eyes roam leisurely, following the path of my hand. Then he runs his gaze up my body. He leans into me, pulls me closer. His lips brush against my ear.

“You look gorgeous, Princess.” He places a kiss on my shoulder between each word. I exhale with relief and grin up at him.

“You don’t look too shabby yourself,” I reply. I’m happy to have my petty behavior go unmentioned.

“Were you jealous?” My gaze falls to the ground.

“No.” My voice doesn’t sound very convincing.

“It’s okay if you were. I would like to think you wouldn’t want me talking to another woman. I would be pissed if I saw you talking to another man.” He growls, and surprisingly it calms my nerves to know that Chase Porter is just as affected by me as I am by him.

“Okay, A little. But that’s your Maria and—”

“First off, you have nothing to worry about, and second, she’s not my Maria. She’s not my anything.”

“Sorry, about that,” I murmur under my breath, embarrassed from my previous outburst.

“Good. I’m glad we got that settled, because I’ve been dying to do this ever since you walked out in that dress.” His voice is assertive as he grabs my face. His other hand glides up my back, grasping the back of my neck, bringing my head to his. He plunders my mouth with a rawness I didn’t know he was capable of. Yep . . . Chase Porter is affected by me, that’s for sure.

He pulls away and grabs my hand in his. Slowly, he escorts me further from the boat. The click of my flip-flops echoes off the wooden planks as I attempt to keep up with his pace. Once we make it out of the Marina di Capri, I’m shocked to see how crowded the island is. As we walk toward the street, it’s as though the entire population of the island is blocking our path. We look down on the street from above, trying to discern the best route to cross to where all the restaurants and shops are.