Through Fire (Portland, ME #3) (27 page)

He finally pulls his mouth from mine and takes a deep breath in. “Jesus, Ruby. What you do to me.”

I can feel what I do to him. I’ve been grinding myself down on the hard bulge in his pants that leaves no doubt of that. “Don’t stop,” I beg, sounding pathetic even to my own ears. “I need you. I want to feel alive. You do that to me,” I whisper urgently when he tries to set me back.

“God, Boop. I’ve missed your taste. But not in the middle of the street in the cab of my truck. You deserve so much more.”

“Not like I’ve never done this before,” I remind him, which isn’t a good idea, as I come to find out as he now firmly pushes me back to my seat.

“Exactly why I’m stopping now,” he says in a stern voice, his eyes burning into mine. “I’m not that guy you have to get off quickly in a car.” He stops and turns his eyes forward. “And you’re not that woman who should be subjected to that.”

Thoroughly chastised, I buckle my seatbelt  back up, fully expecting him to drive me to the front door of the shelter. Which is why I’m surprised when he starts the engine and suddenly swings the wheel around, making a U-turn, so the truck is pointing back in the direction we came from. His next words spark the fire that was slowly dying inside me, back to its full flame.

“I’m taking you home with me.”

T
im

Christ.

I hadn’t planned on taking things this far. Not tonight. Not that I really had any control over the situation; Ruby had been in my lap before I was even clear what was happening. Now I’m flooring it to get home in record time, just so I can bury myself in her heat. What does that say about me? Well, other than that I’m eager to get rid of a set of seriously painful blue balls.

She’s fragile, dammit.

She doesn’t seem so fragile the moment I close the front door behind us. I don’t get a chance to take off my jacket before she’s trying to tug it down my arms. The instant my arms are free, she has my head pulled down and her mouth sealed to mine. Fuck, I’m in trouble.

“Ruby,” I try, gently grabbing her by the wrists to untangle her hands from my too long hair. “Slow down, baby,” I mumble against her lips. Her frenetic pace grinds to a halt when she steps back from me, her eyes big and shiny.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, shame staining her cheeks red.

Great. Now I’ve upset her. I just want her to slow down and see me. Not just some body she can
feel alive
with. Yes, I recognize the irony. Before that day when I found her in my bathroom—a day that will be forever burned in my brain—I’d been holding her off, because I wanted her to know I didn’t see
her
as just someone to only fulfill my physical needs. Here I am doing it again, but for the opposite reason.

She’s not looking at me when I slowly unzip her coat and pull it off her shoulders. She’s staring at the ground, which she continues to do as I pull her along to the couch, where I sit pulling Ruby on my lap.

“I want you so bad, I’m about to pop an aneurism here, babe. The operative word here is
you
. I just need to slow it down, so I can make sure you feel the same. That you want me because it’s
me
. I’m...” My words are cut off when the little fireball on my lap twists suddenly and kisses me with renewed vigor and a healthy dose of aggression.

“How dare you question that,” she says. When she finally pulls her head back, I see anger in her eyes. “Knowing what you know about me. You are the only person I’ve kissed in thirty years.
Thirty years,
Tim. I never could bring myself to. Wanted to keep something for myself, even when the rest of me was public property. I give that to you. Give you all of me. No one else gets that.”

I’m a fucking bonehead.

Even more so because Ruby’s anger is seriously turning me on. Pointing that little finger at me every time she’s talking about me, and in her own chest whenever she refers to herself. She’s worked up. She’s also making my head swell. The big one.

“Ruby...” I try to soothe her when the magnitude of what she’s telling me starts setting in. She folds her arms over her chest, sits ramrod straight on my lap, and looks at me with fire in her eyes. “I hear you,” I assure her.

“Good,” she pushes through tight lips, before her face softens, and she reaches out to run her fingers over my beard. They come to rest against my mouth. “It’s just...you make me
feel
, Tim.”

I close my eyes against the surge of emotions welling up. It’s not exactly a declaration of love, but it’s close enough “Good,” I mumble against her fingertips. “Now where were we?”

It would appear a little controversy heats the blood, because as soon as my mouth tastes hers, we spark into a raging inferno.

We don’t make it to the bed that first time.

Clothes fly everywhere and our fucking is frantic. The need to imprint myself on her body so strong, I lose all control as I plunge inside her. My mouth is fused to hers, and I can barely brace myself on my arms as my hips pump furiously. With her small hands clawing at my back, and the soft groans coming from her throat, it takes only minutes before a tingle at the base of my spine spreads like wildfire through my body in a blinding climax. Ruby’s cries heralding her own release ringing in my ear.

Sweaty, despite the chilly temperature, I finally lift myself off and carry her to the bathroom where I help her clean up. No words are exchanged, but our eyes appear glued on each other.

“Let’s try that again, shall we?” I suggest in a low voice. The responding smile on her lips is answer enough, and when I scoop her in my arms again, her soft giggle against my skin feels warm in my heart.

I take my time with every dip and swell of her soft body, making sure to press my lips to the brand on the inside of her thigh. I briefly think about offering her to have it removed, but the moment my mouth closes over her heat, the thought is gone. Drowned out by her taste and scent as she squirms underneath my lips. I take her to the brink, using the tip of my tongue to tease the hood away from the hard little pearl it hides, without ever touching her clit. Before she can find her release, I slowly make my way up her body, tracing my lips over every inch of skin I encounter. By the time I reach her swollen mouth, I’ve eased her back from the edge.

“Look at me, beautiful,” I whisper, with my lips against hers. Her hooded eyes lift up, her emotions on full display in those big brown pools. With excruciatingly slow determination, I slide myself home, feeling all of her close around me.

This time, the pace is lazy, almost reverent, and when Ruby finally comes around me on a sob, I’m not far behind. Fully sated.

With Ruby sleeping on my chest, her soft puffs of breath ruffling the hair there, I feel we’ve turned a corner. Where I may have had my doubts earlier, they’re gone now.

This is what I want. She is what I want. Her history is irrelevant, just like mine is. Whatever struggles she still faces—or
we
still face—she won’t be facing them alone. 

Suddenly it hits me: Ruby didn’t run—didn’t even try. Instead she stood her ground and fought for what she wants. That puts a big-ass smile on my face as I let sleep wash over me.

R
uby

“Go back to sleep.” I hear Tim’s sleepy voice mumble when the persistent ringing of a phone wakes me up. “It can wait,” he says, snuggling in closer behind me. In seconds, I hear his soft snore to indicate he’s followed his own advice. But I can’t.

Memories of last night’s sweet moments come back to me with vivid clarity, and I can’t keep the smile from splitting my face. I shouldn’t be feeling this euphoric, and frankly, it scares me a little. Pam had warned me there might be times I’d feel like nothing was holding me back. That there would be other times, where I’d feel that darkness close again and to always stay prepared for that.

Our first frenzied bout of passion was desperate, a bit angry still, but in the bedroom he made love to me. I can’t call it anything else. It had been agonizingly tender and intense in a completely different way. Where the romp on the couch had been dark, all about getting what we wanted, the second time, in bed, had been all about giving. Sharing. So exquisitely sweet, I swear it felt like I was floating.

I’m still there...floating.

Until the distinct click of a door downstairs has me land back hard to earth.

“Yo, Tim!” Mark’s voice sounds from downstairs, followed by the pounding of footsteps, coming up the stairs. I barely have a chance to pull the sheet up to cover myself when Mark comes barreling in the bedroom, screeching to a halt two steps inside the door.

“Jesus!” His shock is clear as he looks from me, hiding behind the sheet, to Tim who suddenly shoots up in the bed, rubbing his eyes.

“Fuck me, Mark. What the hell?” he snaps angrily at his brother, who is already backing out of the room, his hands lifted defensively.

“Sorry, man. Sorry, Ruby...” His voice fades as I hear those same footsteps going in the opposite direction. “Making coffee! We have an appointment in twenty minutes!” he bellows upstairs.

“Fuck! I totally forgot,” Tim mumbles, pressing a distracted kiss to my hair before jumping out of bed and disappearing into the bathroom. Leaving me, still in shock, staring after him.
Madre de Dios.

Ten minutes later, after taking my own turn in the bathroom and doing my best not to think too hard about what just happened, I tentatively make my way down the stairs, wearing an old plaid bathrobe that was hanging on the back of the door. Hearing the deep rumble of voices coming from the kitchen, I decide in the direction of the living room, in hopes of snatching up the clothes I discarded there last night. Mark must’ve gotten an eyeful when he walked in this morning. Or maybe not, since he came right upstairs. No woman would’ve missed the clothes strewn haphazardly through the room, without knowing exactly what went on. But a man might have.

I manage to sneak into the powder room, where I quickly replace the robe with my jeans and sweater, tucking my dirty underwear in my pocket.

“Do you at least have those references printed off?” I hear Mark ask, as I walk into the kitchen, all too aware of the eyes that immediately turn my way.

“Hey,” I say with a paltry wave. In two steps, Tim is there, pulling me firmly to his side. I automatically lift my face to receive his kiss, as if this was our regular routine. Mark smiles big, as he stares unapologetically.

“Glad to see it,” he says to me. “The man has been an absolute bear, all this time. Good to see something other than a scowl on his face.”

“Uhh, didn’t you guys have somewhere to be?” I try to steer the conversation in a different direction, feeling more than a little uncomfortable. Not only because of the situation, but also because since I ended up in the hospital, I’d not once reached out to Mark to make good on my promise to help the FBI. I hope it hasn’t put him in a difficult situation.

“No worries. Mark called and bought us another hour,” Tim says, smiling down at me.
Well, damn.

“Do you think Mike still wants to talk to me?” I tentatively ask Mark, knowing that I should deal with this head on. The alternative is avoidance, and I’ve learned how dangerous that can be. Sticking your head in the sand, doesn’t make things go away magically.

“Very much so.” His hesitant smile is not really reassuring. “Fuck, Ruby. Mike’s gonna have my head for telling, if my brother doesn’t get to me first, but he’s had eyes on you the entire time.”

“Excuse me?” Tim hisses beside me, glaring at him. He takes a threatening step in Mark’s direction, but with a hand on his arm I hold him back.

“Wait. What are you saying?” I ask him, unable to keep the wobble out of my voice. It was difficult enough to consider all the people I would have to face, knowing what I’d done. Finding out some stranger—or God forbid,
strangers
—
have known and been watching me, is humiliating.

“Honey,” he softly coaxes. His eyes are tentative, searching, as he looks me straight in the eye. “I told Mike because I was worried about your safety. You needed some time to heal without any interference from Tim or anyone else, including me. But the information you hold is valuable enough to make it dangerous for you. You know that. Only way I could protect you was to let Mike know. He made sure you were always covered.”

“Oh.” Is all I manage to express. Part of me still feels humiliated and invaded, but his words also fill me with unexpected warmth. I’m just not used to this kind of consideration. I’m guessing it might take some time for me to get used to it, if I ever do. Of course, that makes me feel guilty again, the reality of what I’ve put these people through. Apparently sensing my internal struggle, Tim, whose rigid posture has relaxed somewhat on hearing his brother’s explanation, pulls me into his chest and folds his arms around me protectively. With his chin on the top of my head, he addresses his brother.

“I still want to beat you up,” he admits to Mark. “But considering you were trying to look out for my girl, I’m thinking thanks might be the appropriate response here.”