Three Women (12 page)

She was not prepared after all these years for someone to come along and destroy her family and the good life she had built with Paddy.

The time had passed. The moment was gone. The choice was made.

THE APARTMENT WAS
empty. Erin was so relieved that Nikki and Claire were already gone out. She’d talk to them tomorrow. Even though they were her best friends she couldn’t face letting them see how devastated she really was by Kate’s actions. She needed to think, to sleep, and to forget that Kate Flanagan was ever a part of her life. She should never have gone searching and trying to find out who she really was. What a disaster! She should have let it lie and been happy with the nice life she had. Why had she done it? Why had she wanted to open the whole Pandora’s Box? Upset her parents? Dig up the past? She had stirred up feelings she had never experienced before – and pain she hadn’t believed possible.

She needed another drink and, grabbing a bottle of red wine from their wine rack and a glass from the kitchen, she flung off her shoes and jeans and cardigan and crawled into bed.

The phone rang again. It was her mum.

She couldn’t put off talking to her any more. She had to tell her what had happened – or, more precisely, what didn’t happen.

‘Erin, is everything okay? I’ve phoned you so many times. I know that you and Kate were probably far too busy talking and getting to know each other, but I—’

‘Mum, Kate didn’t bother to even bloody turn up.’

‘What?’

‘I waited in the café for hours for her but she never came. She stood me up, Mum! It was awful.’

‘Oh Erin, I’m so sorry, really sorry this has happened to you.’ Erin could feel the genuine concern and upset in her mother’s voice. ‘I never expected something like this to happen … for her to do that. You poor pet. Where are you?’

‘I’m here in Sandymount.’ Erin struggled to control herself.

‘Do you want to come home? Your dad and I are in tonight. Maybe you’d be better here with us.’

‘Mum, I don’t really feel like talking or anything. I just want to stay here on my own, sleep a bit. I’ve been so wound up about this all week and now I just need to crash.’

‘You could crash here in your old bed at home,’ her mother continued. ‘I’ll come and collect you.’

‘Thanks, Mum, but not tonight. I just want to be on my own.’

‘Are you sure that’s wise? We could talk about it—’

‘Mum, I don’t want to talk about it.’

‘Of course, love. I understand.’

Erin knew well that her mother didn’t understand. Nina Harris was one of the most protective mothers ever and spent her whole life looking out for Erin and Jack, looking after them, catering for their needs, often putting her own life and interests on hold for the sake of her children. She was a good mother – the best ever.

‘Erin, will you come over tomorrow then? We could go for a walk …’

Her mother believed half the troubles of the world could be solved by going on a walk, that the fresh air and exercise and rhythm of walking were a salve for the soul.

‘Okay. Okay,’ she agreed.

‘Try to sleep, Erin,’ finished Nina. ‘You’ve had a shock.’

‘Goodnight, Mum.’

Erin sipped her wine. She
was
shocked. She felt sort of sick and shaky and cold, and she pulled on her pyjamas and a fleece as she gathered the duvet around her.

The phone went. No doubt her mum again. But this time it was Luke.

‘Hey, Erin, what’s been going on with you and that new mother of yours? Why haven’t you answered my calls?’ he asked.

‘Luke, it was awful, really awful.’ She began to cry; she couldn’t help herself.

‘Don’t tell me she’s an absolute bitch!’

‘I wouldn’t know, as she never even bothered to turn up … I mean so little to her that she couldn’t even be bothered to give me an hour of her busy bloody life after twenty-six years.’

‘Shit!’

‘Exactly,’ said Erin vehemently. ‘That is exactly how I feel right now.’

‘Erin, baby, I’m really sorry about her. Where are you?’

‘I’m back in the flat. The girls have gone out.’

‘Do you want me to come over?’ he offered. She could hear noise and laughter and music in the background.

‘Where are you?’

‘I’m in Doheny and Nesbitt’s with a few lads. I’ve had a few
pints
but I’ll get a taxi to yours, or otherwise you could come into town and join us. Davy’s girlfriend Astrid is here. A few drinks might do you good!’

Erin had absolutely no intention of joining Luke and his drinking buddies for their usual Saturday-night session before heading off to a night club.

‘Luke, I’m not really in the mood for a night out after today.’

‘Then we can stay in together – talk about it.’

She certainly didn’t feel like going back over it all again with Luke, which would no doubt end as usual with them going to bed and having sex, which was Luke’s answer to everything.

‘That’s just it. I’m knackered and upset and I just need to sleep.’

‘Exactly,’ he murmured softly.

‘No – I mean on my own, conked out with the duvet over my head.’

‘Oh! Are you sure you don’t need me there to help you unwind and relax a bit?’

‘No!’ Erin insisted, sensing his disappointment.

‘I feel like I’m letting you down, Erin.’

‘You’re not, honestly you’re not.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes. Listen, I’ll talk to you tomorrow about it, Luke, okay?’

Putting down the phone, she felt so alone. But what she was going through was not something she could share with anyone. She was so disappointed and upset that she felt awful. She hadn’t known what to expect when Marian set up the meeting. Maybe she had hoped that she and her birth mother could have some kind of relationship, or a type of friendship, but she hadn’t been expecting Kate to become a big part of her life. She already had a mother she adored and was close to, so
she
didn’t need that from Kate, but she was expecting her to be decent and that the two of them would have some kind of connection. How wrong she had been!

Kate Flanagan must be a cold fish, uncaring and distant, glad to have got rid of her unwanted child and now unwilling to admit that Erin even existed. Luke was right – her natural mother must be a bitch to have done what she did to her today and put her through such turmoil. She would never forgive her.

NINA COULDN’T BELIEVE
what that kate woman had done! Standing Erin up in a busy restaurant, leaving her to sit there for hours waiting for her to appear was cruel. Erin had built up the meeting with her natural mother and was hoping that some kind of relationship or friendship would develop between them and now this … It was heartbreaking and humiliating for her daughter to have to go through being let down by her so-called mother. Nina was fuming, and if she ever met that woman, birth mother or not, she would give her a right piece of her mind!

‘Nina, for heaven’s sake stop,’ urged Tom, who’d been listening to her continuous rant since she got off the phone with Erin. ‘Nothing you or I can do can change what has happened. Erin is an adult and no matter how much we try to protect her, she is going to have to deal with disappointments and heartaches like we all do. It’s what grown-ups do, and she’s a grown-up now even though you seem to think she’s still a little girl.’

‘She will always be our little girl and I’ll do everything in my power to protect her for as long as I’m alive and even afterwards if that’s possible!’

‘Knowing you, that will happen,’ he retorted.

‘We waited so long to be parents, Tom – don’t you remember it?’ she demanded fiercely. ‘All those tests and fertility charts and doctors and hospitals, and then getting pregnant, thinking we might have a chance … ten weeks … twelve weeks, and then miscarriages … losing another baby …’

Tom nodded slowly, his head in his hands.

‘Then there were waiting lists, and interviews and inspections and assessments, and us jumping through hoops to see if we were suitable people to adopt … Imagine trying to see if we were suitable to even be parents! I fought so hard for motherhood that I can’t help myself. That’s why you and Erin and Jack are the most important people in my life.’

‘Kids grow up, Nina,’ he smiled, cupping her face in his hands and tracing the outline of her jaw with his finger. ‘Then it will just be the two of us again. Will you mind being stuck with an old fogey like me?’

‘Less of the old, please!’ she hushed him. ‘We still have lots of good years ahead of us, Tom, lots of things to do and places to go.’

‘Nothing stays the same,’ he said gently.

‘I know that,’ she said. ‘But we have each other and the kids, and that’s what matters.’

Tom opened a bottle of wine as they sat down to eat together. Usually they went out on a Saturday or entertained friends at home, but Nina herself had been so worked up about Erin meeting her birth mother that she’d told Tom that tonight she just wanted a quiet night in. Tom had been away on business
so
much lately and working so hard, that a night in relaxing would do neither of them any harm. He should be winding down now, work-wise, and beginning to think of retirement instead of always trying to meet clients and being so caught up in work. The business, Harris Engineering, was a mediumsized company that Tom had set up over twenty years ago, supplying heat and water and ventilation systems to many of the big building projects around the country: offices, hospitals, shopping centres and schools. But now, with government cutbacks and lack of investment funds, the company was taking on more and more projects overseas. Sometimes Tom seemed so preoccupied that it worried her. He was pushing himself far too hard.

‘Oh, by the way, I’m over in Manchester next week,’ he said, topping up her glass.

‘You’ll be home that night?’

‘No, I’m staying over for two nights. Bit of business there.’

Nina sighed. At the moment Tom seemed always to be away or out somewhere trying to get business.

‘And I’ll probably play golf on Saturday with Frank. He’s organized for a few of us to play down in Mount Juliet, so we’ll stay over and have dinner afterwards. Do you mind?’

‘Of course not. I’ll organize to do something with Lizzie or one of my friends.’

The one thing Nina had learned about marriage over the years was to give each other space. Couples needed that if they were to survive years together and stay interested in each other. She and Tom had what she considered a good marriage, but they definitely had each developed interests of their own.

‘Is there any dessert?’ he asked.

‘Eclairs!’ she laughed. Tom had such a sweet tooth. ‘And I’ll
make
us some of that French filtered coffee you like before we put something on the TV.’

As she relaxed in front of the fire, Nina thought of Erin all alone in the apartment tonight. She should have insisted that she come home. As she sipped her wine she slipped off her shoes and pulled her feet up on the couch. Even though she was angry about the way Kate had treated her daughter, Nina had to admit that she was secretly relieved that the actual meeting between her daughter and her birth mother hadn’t even taken place … and she hoped it never would.

IT HAD BEEN
such a shit weekend that erin was actually glad to be back in the office on Monday with plenty of work to keep her busy. She’d been handed a design brief that had just come in for a new Italian children’s shop that was opening off Grafton Street, and she had also been asked to create an album cover for Lia, a young Irish folk singer. She had listened to her songs and they were amazing! And to top it all, Monika had asked her to take over working on Declan’s project, developing an overall concept for the online marketing package for a new brand of Irish foot lotions that were based on all-natural seaweed ingredients and were selling all over the world.

‘Why they all come at the same time I don’t know, but that’s the way it goes,’ shrugged Monika. ‘We sit around twiddling our thumbs for months with little or no work and then everyone wants us. Declan has got that big contract for Nua, the new green energy company, so we have to try to keep a balance with the rest of the work. Clients are like gold dust, so it’s important that we perform and keep everyone happy.’

Erin nodded. She really liked working here and would love to see the company prosper again. Declan and Monika gave their staff immense creative freedom in terms of ideas and design concepts compared to some of the other companies, and there was a huge camaraderie among the staff working for them, with none of the bitter rivalry about projects that she knew existed elsewhere. Her friend Lisa had hated the work atmosphere and constant backstabbing in her old office before she eventually quit and moved to London.

Turning on her Apple Mac, she began to play around with the shop name. She yawned, still tired and shell-shocked from what had happened.

Yesterday, despite almost a gale blowing, she’d walked the West Pier in Dun Laoghaire with her mother, Nina barely able to disguise the anger she felt about Kate while trying at the same time to be sympathetic.

‘Put it behind you now, Erin. You have made the contact. You have written to each other. She knows about you and you know about her. You are both alive and well and have very separate lives. Let that be an end to it.’ Perhaps her mum was right, she thought, as they enjoyed a bagel and coffee afterwards.

Nikki and Claire, she knew, were embarrassed and hurt for her and the way she had been treated. They had a very low opinion of Kate Flanagan now and didn’t bother trying to hide it.

‘She doesn’t deserve to be your mother, Erin, honestly she doesn’t. Forget her!’

Luke had arrived on Sunday evening with flowers, a consoling bottle of wine and a takeaway and there were none of the ‘I told you so …’ recriminations from him that she was expecting. It had been nearly midnight when he’d reluctantly finally left the apartment and gone home.

Luke had talked to his boss and it looked like the move to the London office was almost definite now.