Three Thousand Miles (39 page)

“Of course
F
ather you can count on me being there,” Mr Jenkins smiles at Michael and then he turns to Adrian.

“Son I would really like it if you could be there too,” Adrian runs his fingers through his hair as he thinks of his answer. He stares down at me and I quickly flash him a smile. He takes a deep breath and then he turns to Mr Jenkins.

“Alanna and I will be there.”

Dinner runs smoothly
and
as it ends
t
he men of the house have
retired to study for brandies and cigars whilst the women sip champagne in the lounge. Tabatha begins to talk about fashion, her dogs and of course her home furnishings. I smile as I pretend that her latest curtain choice interests me. Katharine in unusually quiet as she sips her fourth glass of champagne.

“Am I boring you dear?” Tabatha asks. I immediately flash a smile as I try to reassure her that I am not bored.

“
No
,
not
at all,” Tabatha smiles and then it quickly fades.

“Alanna I have a confession to make. When I first found out that you and Adrian were together I was worried.”

“Why?” I say as I blink rather rapidly.

“As I am sure you are aware Adrian is a broken boy. He had the worst childhood and it left him with major issues. He has mental scares that will stay with him forever. I guess the reason I was worried was that Adrian means so much to me. I would do anything for him and when I heard that a beautiful American girl came into his life I was worried about your intentions.”

“I guess that is a natural reaction but I want to reassure you that I love Adrian. I would do anything for him and I would never do anything to hurt him. He is my world and without him I would not exist.” I protest. Tabatha takes in my words and I feel that she might need a little more convincing.

“If that is true then why do you need Michael?” I blush and then I glance at Katharine and I am stunned that she still has not said a word. I focus again on Tabatha as I try to respond.

“I am
not
sure what you mean by that?”

“I guess what I am trying to say is that I don’t fully understand why you need him in your life. Adrian adores you and if what you say is true then that should be all that you need.”

“Tabatha what I am saying is true I love Adrian. However, Michael saved me and I owe everything to him. Both of them mean the world to me but Adrian is the guy that I will always love.” Tabatha rushes over to me and she gently caresses my arm.

“Adrian is a complicated boy and Michael is wild. However, if you think that you can have the both of them then you are wrong. Adrian will not stand around and watch you flirt with Michael. He doesn’t need that type of stress in his life and if you feel that you cannot live without Michael then you can say goodbye to a life with Adrian.” I gaze at Tabatha as I try to process her words. I am not sure what to think of her honesty and I am beginning to sense that she does not like me. I feel that her smile is forged and her eyes are raging. She
stares at me and I feel very uneasy around her. Her words seem harsh and I feel that she does not think that I am good enough to be with Adrian. I glare into her eyes and I begin to get dizzy. I gently step back from her as I try to compose myself. Katharine walks over to me and she has a concerned look on her face. She takes me by the arm and she quickly excuses us from the room. Katharine ushers me into the large kitchen and she closes the door behind us. She deeply exhales as she makes her way over to me.

“Alanna I got to talk to you,” she says. Her words a filled with anxiety and I reach out and take her hand. She pulls her hand away as she fixes her hair. 

“Katharine what is wrong?” I ask.

“Michael is what’s wrong,” She
snaps and my heart begins to race
.

“What has he done?”

“I cannot stay with him any longer,” she confesses.

“Why what happened?”

“Everything, he treats me liked dirt and I am so stupid for taking him back.” Katharine is furious and I begin to panic.

“Katharine a few days ago you were happy what has changed?”

“Alanna I cannot be with someone who will never love me. He does not call me; he does not care what I do. He never
shows
any interest in anything that I say or do. He doesn’t treat me the way Adrian treats you.”

“Katharine you should compare your relationship to mine and Adrian’s.”

“How can I help it when it is right there in front of me?” Katharine’s words stun me and I feel very awkward. I clear my throat as I try to reply.

“Every relationship is different. Michael has a funny way of showing his feelings maybe you misjudged him.” Katharine shakes her head at my words.

“No Alanna I know that you see it to
o
. I feel like I love him but I know that he will always love you. I have
a
deep jealousy of you that takes over my body.
You have one amazing guy in Adrian but Michael wants you as well. I don’t understand it Alanna and it is not fair.”

I begin to lose sight of myself as I hear Katharine’s honest words. I had no idea that she felt this way and the thought paralyzes me. I gaze at her and I see a stunning, wholesome girl and I do not understand why she would be jealous of me. I am nothing compared to her and if she only knew how I felt about Adrian and Michael wanting me. I myself cannot understand why two, gorgeous guys like them would be interested in me. I am awkward, shy, and super inappropriate. I always find myself in sticky situations with guys. I push their buttons and I bring out the worst in them. Marco is a fine example of that as he almost slapped me in the hallway of Columbia because I irritated him. Michael is another; he treats other girls like crap because he wants me. He tries to sabotage my relationship with Adrian because again I lead him to think that more could happen. Michael and Adrian argue over me and I still vividly remember that night when Adrian punched Michael at dinner. I wish that I could wave a magic wand and make Michael love Katharine. No better still, I wish that I could make my feelings for him disappear. I wish that I could hate him at least if I did
,
then he would not get hurt by me. He would not have this constant battle with Adrian over me and he would be free to live his life away from my teasing. He could have the happiness that he deserves but I cannot change how I feel. I cannot wave a magic wand and suddenly hate him. I hate that I am being selfish but I will not choose until I absolutely have to.

“Katharine, please do not think like that. I hate that I make you feel this way and I am sorry. I do not fully understand why Adrian or Michael wants me. I am nothing in comparison. However, if you feel that you cannot be with him then you should end things. If he treats you badly then do not stand for it leave him whilst you still can. You are a beautiful, independent woman and you do not need a guy to define you. If Michael cannot see what a great girl he has then he is not worth it.” Katharine looks up at me and she gently presses a smile from her lips. She lunges from the seat and into my arms.

“Alanna you are right, I don’t have to stand for this.” She rushes out the room and I begin to worry what she might do. I have seen this side to Katharine
many times before when she is breaking up with a guy. I quickly follow her into the study and I watch as she tells Michael how it is.

“Now darling I have news for you. I am
not
going to stand for your bullshit any longer. You treat me like a piece of dirt and I am over you.” Michael looks furious as he rises from his seat. He walks over to Katharine and he smirks at her.

“Well I am glad you finally took the hint. For a minute I actually thought that I would be stuck with you forever.” Katharine lets out a squeal and then
she
slaps Michael very strongly across his face. He lunges forward but he stops himself, he looks at her and he lets out a dark laugh. Katharine again squeals and then storms out the room. Adrian looks bewildered by what has just happened and I hear Tabatha.

“Good lord what is going on in here?”

“Well sweetheart I think that the lovely Miss Katharine has ended things with our son.” Mr Jenkins says in a light tone. I cannot hold back my smile at his words and Michael quickly locks his eyes on mine. He looks angry with me as he walks over. I am standing in the doorway and I gently move to let Michael out. He leans down as he passes me.

“Alanna a word,” I make a dashing look towards Adrian a
nd he gently nods his approval
. I excuse myself and then I follow Michael. He leads me into the
k
itchen and as Katharine did,
he closes the door behind him.

“Alanna what was that?”

“Well if it is not clear I think that Katharine broke up with you.”

“Don’t get smart with me,” Michael says as he points his long finger in my face. I instantly reach out and push his finger away. He clenches his teeth at my action and I feel that his fury is building.

“I wasn’t
,
I
was just stating the obvious.”

“Well I could do without your sarcasm right now Alanna,”

“Michael I am sensing that you are mad at me?” I snap. He rolls his eyes.

“I could never be mad at you, but right now I am a little annoyed with you.”

“Isn’t being mad at me and annoyed with me the same thing?”                     

“There you go again with the sarcasm,” Michael says firmly.

“Why are you annoyed with me?”

“Alanna it is clear to see that you influenced Katharine’s decision to break up with me.”

“That’s not true it was Katharine’s decision and I never forced her to do anything.”    
             

“You see that’s where I do not believe you.”                                 

“Well I don’t really care if you believe me as long as I know the truth then that’s all that matters. Katharine chose to end things with you because you were not treating her right. Did you really think that she would put up with your behaviour
,
forever?” Michael again rolls his eyes at me and I feel my fury building.

“You see that’s where you are wrong Alanna. You try your best no
t
to care about what I think but you crave my approval of everything that you do. Even now when you are trying to be feisty and fight back against me. Your eyes are melting in mine and can see that you are relieved that I am no longer with Katharine.” I shake my head at him.

“No Michael you are wrong,” I protest. Michael lunges to
wards me and he grabs me by my
wrists.

“Sweetheart, you want to fall at my feet right now. You want me to hold you and you want my kiss. Just give me the signal and I will make all your dreams come true.” I stare into his eyes and just for second I lose myself in them. His beauty is divine and I could almost cave in and give him the signal. However, as that thought enters my mind Adrian washes over me and I am reminded of my love for him. He is the guy that I want but Michael’s words do speak some truth. I could fall at his feet but Adrian would be there to catch me. I do crave his touch but in a friendly way. His kiss would be nice but Adrian’s is superior.
So many feelings that I have towards Michael cannot be explained and I am resulted in not figuring them out. I hate that I am drawn to him and I hate that I owe him my life. I slowly loosen his hands from my wrist as I think of my response.

“Michael
,
your words are inappropriate I am with Adrian, please accept that.” He rolls his eyes again as his ice blue stare is on me.

“Alanna if I thought for one second that you did not feel the same way about me as I do for you. Then I would leave
and
you would never see me again because I would have nothing to fight for. As long as I believe that you want me then no I will accept that you are with him.” His voice is dark and I back away from him. He is wrong, so wrong.

“Michael
,
I love Adrian,”

“If that is true then why did you almost kiss me?” I blush as I remember my moment of weakness.

“I was angry, sad and I needed someone. I am sorry if I have led you on but even if I had of kissed you, my feelings would not have changed. I would still be in love with Adrian and that kiss would have just confirmed it. I am sorry if I seem harsh but it is the truth.”  Michael is silent as my words ring in the air around us. I wait for
a
reply but Michael does not have one. I gently sigh as I look at him. The anger and sarcasm has faded from his eyes and
in
it
s
place is sadness. I feel instantly guilty and I feel that I have hurt his feelings. I feel sorry for him and wish that he would find a girl and be happy. He needs love and he deserves to have all his dreams come true. Even if those dreams do not include me.

I step back from Michael as the kitchen door pushes open. I turn fr
o
m Michael and I see Adrian standing in the doorway. He looks concerned as he stares at Michael and me. I walk over to him and he quickly reaches out for me. I link into his arm as I briefly smile at him. I turn my focus back to Michael and Adrian’s looming words.