Three Round Towers (4 page)

As we set off for South Farm, Billy-alone ran alongside the trap. ‘Can I see the lass, Esther, can I see her?'

I asked our driver to stop a moment. He tipped his cap with a whip and called ‘whoa' to the horse. Billy jumped up beside me and we set off again.

‘'Ee she's bonny ain't she? Not much like you though.'

Beth opened her eyes and looked at us before burping loudly.

‘When you are out and about miss, I'll come and help you look for your ma's people. I know lots of places downriver; you'll need someone experienced to guide you.'

He was so cheery and hopeful I had to smile and say yes.

As he jumped off the trap he waved and shouted, ‘I'll come and see how you get on.'

He'd called me miss. I hadn't corrected him.

I was shown to the room next to young Mrs Elwood. It was beautiful, with tall glazed windows and lovely heavy drapes. There was a single high bed with a pretty yellow counterpane and a mirror with a little table and chair in front of it.

A cradle had been put next to the bed and I lost no time in settling Beth in it. As I stood gazing round me in awe there was a light tap on the door.

A small, timid-looking girl peered into the room.

‘I's Mary-Jane missus. You be needing me for the baby.'

I gestured for her to come in and sit down.

‘Where is your own baby, Mary-Jane?'

‘He be down in the kitchen missus. He'm a lot older than this little tacker but I carry on feeding him so as I can earn some money nursin'.'

‘I don't know much about your job Mary but I would be grateful if you would wash yourself before you feed Beth.'

She looked at me askance. ‘But I 'ad a wash last month. And I don't know what you do mean about me job ma'am, I's just a wet-nurse.'

I soaked a piece of flannel in a prettily decorated pitcher and feeling a bit embarrassed I left the room while she undid her bodice. When I came back a few moments later the baby was latched greedily onto her generous breast.

‘She'm 'appy now missus.'

‘Aye, and so am I. Thank heavens for you Mary-Jane. I'll leave you now and go and see how Mrs Elwood is getting on.'

Mrs Elwood was looking much more relaxed though very pale. A tray of food, meats, sweet things and fruit lay at her bedside but she didn't appear to have eaten anything. I picked up some fruit and put it into her hand gently.

‘How are you now ma'am, shall we try some of these?'

‘I don't want anything Esther, but your baby, is she feeding?'

‘Aye, she is that, and very happily too. Mary-Jane seems to have lots of experience.'

‘She has that, certainly, I've heard said that she has too much experience but it is to our favour. Esther, may I hold little Beth when she has finished, just for a minute?'

‘Of, course you can ma'am, if it wasn't for you I don't know where we would be.'

‘My name is Cecilia, will you call me that?'

‘If you wish, but first, before I bring Beth in I think we need to eat a little something. I'm that hungry and you need to get your strength back – if only to be able to sit up and hold her properly.'

For the first time I saw a little smile. She was such a pretty thing and her name suited her perfectly – I tried it.

‘Cecilia. What a beautiful name.'

‘It runs in our family, my grandmother was Cecilia. What was your grandmother's name?'

I had no answer for I didn't know.

To avoid the question I pretended I heard a cough next door and went to see how the feed was going. Beth was detached and looking content in Mary Jane's arms.

‘I think she'm done missus, she be falling asleep.'

I picked her up and sniffed her wonderful contented smell. ‘Wait here Mary-Jane, I'll just let Missus Elwood hold her awhiles before we change her.'

‘Aye missus. I've got the clouts and I can shows you how I do it in case you have to change her in the night.'

I nodded my thanks and took Beth through to Cecilia, placing her gently in her waiting arms.

I found my way downstairs to the pot room and asked the girl, Cilla, for some small ale to take upstairs.

‘I'll take it up for you miss. Is it for Mary-Jane? She be that fond of the ale.'

‘Yes, all that feeding needs replacing.'

‘Beg pardon miss, can I get you something else?'

‘No, I'm fine, I am just going to sit with Missus Elwood awhiles.'

‘The master likes his supper at six miss, will you be joining him?'

Mrs Fisher appeared, scowling. ‘Of course she won't Cilla, she can have a tray in her room,' she said scornfully before adding, ‘or she can come down here with the other servants.'

‘That will be perfect,' I replied, and tried to muster some dignity as I made for the stairs.

Cecilia was dozing with Beth at her side. I carried her into Mary-Jane and between us we changed and settled her in the cradle. Exhausted from the events of recent days, I collapsed on the bed.

I must have dozed for some time as it was dusk when I awoke. Beth was awake and crowing. I carried her into Cecilia and we lay on the huge bed laughing at the baby's expressions. Every now and then I tried to tempt Cecilia with some cordial or sweetmeat but she took little. The light was fading rapidly and Cilla came in to light the candles. ‘Mrs Fisher do want to know if you could eat a bit of fish for your supper?'

Cecilia grimaced and I laughed at her funny face.

‘Perhaps you could ask for just a little egg custard with some cream,' I suggested. ‘Fish tomorrow, maybe.'

‘Aye miss, I'll go and see.'

It was a strange night, my first at South Farm. I was so tired, even having had an afternoon nap, I could hardly think of anything other than trying to get food into both Beth and Cecilia. I know Farmer Elwood came up and sat with his wife for a long time; he had called me in and asked to see Beth. I took him to the cradle, which was undoubtedly meant for his own baby and he gently stroked her forehead. ‘I am glad to have you in my house Esther, you will be company for my wife. I hope your baby thrives.'

He looked so sad as I wished him goodnight. Mary-Jane came up before the household retired and it was quite late by the time I clambered into the wonderful soft bed. I tried to think back over the events of the last three days. So much had happened but I still kept seeing Becca in my mind. She must have believed her baby would be safe otherwise she wouldn't have done what she did. I tried to picture the Coad family – what would they be doing now, saying now? Would the master have arranged a decent funeral for Becca? Was she already in the ground? I realised I had little idea of the way of things. I would have to learn fast if I was to keep our child safe. I had seen Mrs Fisher looking at me suspiciously out of the corner of her eye. I am sure she didn't believe I was the mother of a newborn.

The next few days passed dreamily, I was in a joy of comfort and warmth, such as I had never experienced before. Beth, when she wasn't swaddled tight, would wriggle and punch the air. I had to resist telling Mary-Jane to leave her to kick; after all, she was a lot more experienced than I. Beth loved the milk she got from the wet-nurse and I only had to call her during the night and she would appear from the kitchen region of the great house and Beth would latch on to her greedily. I became quite adept at keeping her dry and clean and felt myself to be her mother.

Cecilia was visited again by the doctor who told me to watch for signs of puerperal fever and milk fever both of which can lay a weak mother low; at no time did he recollect that I was supposedly a new mother too and liable to such conditions.

I remembered my pa going to help some of the poorer people who came to the apothecary's shop. They had not the money to pay for medicines but he said that a few basic things could improve their lot if they did just know it.

I looked in my box and found his notebooks, written over many years of practising. His writing was tiny and cramped and for a few moments I felt quite overwhelmed seeing his dear hand again. I looked up his notes on complaints or diseases peculiar to females. The regimen he counselled was: ‘the patient's drink should consist of pure water with a toast in it; barley water, either by itself or with the addition of a little nitre; whey made with rennet or vinegar; milk and water; lemonade; a slight infusion of malt and mint or sage tea.'

I asked Mrs Fisher to make some of the teas and to have barley water available should Mrs Elwood fancy it. After a few days she looked much stronger and I believe having Beth at her side did help her greatly. She was not able to attend the funeral of her baby but the house was full of local people who had heard of their sadness. I agreed to go to the service so that I could tell her all about it, from a feminine point of view. Cecilia's own family lived at some distance and were not able to attend. Master Elwood dressed in his best clothes, quite different from his farming attire, stood tall and straight at the site of the little mite's resting place. He looked straight ahead and didn't for a minute relax his guard. The man who officiated was nothing like Rev. Skillen and I am not sure what connexion he belonged to but death is death and whatever form the prayers took they must give comfort to those left behind. For a moment I wished I had been present at Becca's funeral to hear the prayers and take some comfort.

Mrs Fisher had laid out some cold collation for the mourners and friends and the taking of brandy and other strong drinks lightened the misery of the day. I kept upstairs with Cecilia, and described who was there. She thought my descriptions funny and we did manage to giggle despite the occasion. It was a very long day and I think the family breathed a sigh of relief once it was passed.

Beth slept in her cradle for most of the time except in the night when I took her into my bed and cuddled her. I had become quite adept at changing and cleaning her; I loved the milky sweet smell of her head and many times when young Cilla came to wake me she found the babe lying awake alongside me. Mary-Jane drew off some of her milk for the night-time and I was able to feed Beth myself. It was the most wonderful experience of my life.

Many days passed and at last Cecilia was able to get up and about. She showed me round the house and even found some of her old clothes for me to wear; my simple black dress was very ugly and dishevelled and I was grateful to discard it for something pretty. I took Becca's comb and did my hair as I looked in the mirror. It seemed very strange to be able to see myself so clearly and though I could never look as pretty as Becca or Cecilia I did try to improve my appearance, even standing differently so my crooked leg wasn't as obvious. Living as Cecilia's companion was a lot easier on me than all the hard scullery work at Coad Farm. I thought it was all too good to be true.

I had a visit from Mrs Makepiece and Cecilia promised to return her call as soon as she was feeling better and I would of course accompany her with Beth. Billy-alone also found his way into the kitchen of South Farm and I was pleased to see him. We walked together round the orchard on a fine autumn day. The windfalls smelled sweet as they awaited collection. South Farm was so different to Coad Farm. Apart from Mrs Fisher, everyone was friendly; there were no bad atmospheres and the place felt full of light as opposed to the gloom and bad temper at Hamsey.

I was beginning to feel safe and wanted but I knew that I was only staying as long as the wet-nurse and that sooner rather than later I would have to start weaning Beth. I didn't want to think about it. Billy found a few fallen apples and we sat in the lazy sunshine munching our way through them.

‘Beth looks right bonny.'

‘She does that, she is thriving and very content. We love it here Billy.'

‘I wouldn't mind a job here; any chance you think?'

‘I thought you didn't want to stay in one place?'

‘Well, this is a bit different ain't it?'

‘Yes, it certainly is. Farmer Elwood is a good man and very kind. Why don't you ask him?'

‘Will you ask him for me?'

‘No, but I will tell him that you are a good, kind boy and probably hard working.'

‘What d'ya mean, ‘probably'?'

I laughed at his indignation as I eased myself up and then pulled him to his feet. ‘Come along, I want to pick some herbs. I've a mind to make some of my ma's receipts. Mrs Fisher is away for a few days so I can use the kitchen.'

We were foraging along the hedgerow when he said, ‘There was a body found in the river yesterday.'

A hand clutched at my heart, squeezing.

‘Do you know what happened?'

‘Na, it might be a suicide.'

A chill swept across me.

‘Do you know who it was?'

‘A maid, 'pparently.'

Was it Becca? Had old man Coad gone back on his promise to bury her fittingly?

‘Let's finish here now Billy, I've got enough.' I tried to keep my voice from trembling. When we got back to the house I asked him to find out a bit more about the girl. I made it sound casual, but to me it felt like I was guilty of something, and I knew I wasn't.