Three Round Towers (19 page)

The next morning, once I was fully awake, I thought through the events of the previous day and thought it was one of the best of my life. So many enjoyable things had happened and best of all I believed I had found my calling. I loved helping deliver the young woman of a healthy baby. I wanted to attend more births and I resolved to ask the doctor to help me train for this. Yes, it had been a good day.

I allowed my thoughts to wander from my work to the doctor and our rather strange relationship. Many times I had felt a connection to him and thought he felt that too. His choice of words was often misleading given the plain look on his face. He gave nothing away but I sensed a growing interest in me but was it as a person or as a nurse in whom he had a certain pride? Cecilia was convinced that he wished to become my beau. I thought her imaginative and deluded by her wish to see me well married and protected. Why would an older man who had the Lewes ladies flurrying around after him look at me? More to the point was I interested in him? I loved his inclusiveness, his wit and cleverness; he was quite inspirational and very kind, but he was twenty years older than me and didn't make me melt like Wilf did. Oh, it was all so confusing these emotions and strange sensations that came from my core without any help from my thoughts.

Once I thought of Wilf the good doctor was pushed aside. I acknowledged my delight in his company; he made me feel vibrant and fully alive. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to fall into his arms and hold him and most of all I wanted him to kiss me.

I pulled myself up and prepared for the day. Mrs Jenkins had let me sleep in and Beth was, no doubt, tucking into her breakfast. I felt so good about myself I took my time in dressing and doing my hair. I had been quite adventurous lately with pins and clips, taming my locks into a recognised style. I used Becca's comb every day and sometimes when doing Beth's hair I would tell her about the comb and that it had a direct connection to her mama who was watching over her. I truly believed that Becca was always with us. I smiled into the mirror and made my way downstairs.

Some weeks later I had another visit from my cousin Sam. He turned up at the back door and wanted to see me urgently. I was working in the doctor's study but once I had finished cleaning the instruments – a task I couldn't leave – I hurried down to see what was wrong.

Sam was clearly upset and begging me to return to Southease with him to look at my Aunt Tilly who was sickening. I suggested that we should ask the doctor to visit her but he was very agitated and said she would not see anyone except family and, as I was family, I must go with him.

I packed a bag with some herbs and things that might be needed and having arranged with Mrs Jenkins that she look after Beth until I got back, I clambered up behind Sam. We trotted off at a brisk pace and I tried not to notice the uncomfortable ride. The sense of urgency in Sam was affecting and I worried all the way to Southease that I would be unable to help. As we drew nearer the village I calmed down a bit, if I couldn't help I would send for Dr Grieve, come what may.

I hurried into the house which was back to its usual dishevelled state and there sitting at the fire was Aunt Tilly. She seemed in fine health to me.

‘What's wrong?'

She looked at me as if I had gone daft.

Sam chipped in. ‘I had to tell her you were sick otherwise she wouldn't have come.'

‘Of course I would have come. What's going on? Why did you tell me she was sick?'

‘Jeremiah has been shot by the preventative men, girl, and we need you to put him right.' Her voice was cold and I knew immediately that I would not be allowed to leave until I had done what was necessary. Sam was leaning against the door; they both looked grim.

‘Where is he?'

‘In a barn nearby.'

‘Can't you get him here where we can clean him up?'

‘Don't be a fool girl, the constables will be looking for him. Take her Sam but blindfold her.'

I gasped, but Sam grabbed my arms and twisted them behind me before slipping a cord round my wrists, none too gently. A musty sack was thrown over my head and I was bundled onto the horse this time in front of him.

We rode for about fifteen minutes and I knew we were following the river as I could hear it nearby and the horse was picking its way carefully. When we stopped I had to wait for Sam to lift me down and untie the bindings as well as remove the sack. The light blinded me for a few seconds and I blinked furiously.

‘Don't mind ma, her bark is worse than her bite.'

I didn't reply, I did mind, she was my aunt yet she was treating me horribly and so was he.

‘Come,' he said. ‘Follow me and mind where you walk, the wood be rotten.'

We went into a barn that looked to be derelict. Light filtered through broken slats and spars and beneath my feet I could feel the fragility of the wooden floor.

Sam helped me through a trapdoor and down a ladder. We were going into a black hole and I began to wonder if this was a trap.

At the bottom of the ladder I blinked the dust clear from my eyes, my mouth was dry. I heard a tinder strike and at last I could see that we were in an underground cellar where my cousin was lying on a pile of sacks. I could smell the sourness of blood and distress. I knelt down at his side and tried to ascertain what was wrong.

‘We picked the bullet out,' said Sam.

‘What with?' I was horrified.

‘A knife. It weren't deep.'

‘Did you sterilise the knife?'

‘Aye, I held it to the flame.'

‘Was he conscious?'

‘No. It had to be done quick like afore he came round. Did I do right?'

‘I don't know, this is beyond my knowledge Sam. When did he get the bullet?'

‘Two days gone.'

‘Has he come round?'

‘Aye, but he seems to be raving now – can 'ee help?'

‘I'll try. You will need to get me some things. I'll need my bag and some clean water, is there a spring nearby? I will need thread and a needle and a very sharp knife.'

I looked down at my cousin, he looked so much younger than I had thought him to be. His skin was sallow and clammy to the touch. ‘Sam, we really need the doctor, can you not fetch him?'

‘No! It's as ma says, if they get their hands on him he'll be lost. We've lived life in the rough for too long and there would be no mercy from the excise. You must do it for us cousin.'

‘Well, I'll try. Fetch me my bag and the things I need. Some clean cloth too. You might need to go and see Mrs Jenkins and ask her to get me a needle and thread for stitches. If you tell her it's for me and that your brother has cut his leg she might not question it. You will need to hurry Sam, we might not have long.'

He vanished silently, but taking the ladder up, I was left in the gloomy cellar with naught but a candle for comfort.

I tried to make Jeremiah comfortable and took his clothes off. There was clean water in a flask, which I used to sluice the wound. I surmised that Sam had to cut deep into the flesh to get the bullet out. The area round the cut was angry and infected. I searched his body for other wounds and found lots of scars from earlier injuries. My cousin had lived life hard. I also found strap marks where he looked as if he had been beaten. I wondered if that was how my grandfather had enforced his rules. What sort of man was he that would take his own daughter and get two children on her? She held my mother to be responsible for her downfall but surely the real culprit was the man that was their father.

Once Jeremiah seemed comfortable on my improvised bedding and I had got used to the dim light I looked round the cellar. It was clearly a hiding place with evidence of the smuggling trade all around: signal lamps, ropes, crates, staves, waterproof carriers and sacks and finally at the furthest point from the entry, barrels. There was also a locked crate, not big enough to hold drink but maybe a stash for tea, salt or baccy, which would need to be kept free of damp.

Sam had been gone a long time and I was getting cold and lonely. I hoped he would return before the candle guttered. I sat alongside my cousin and watched him closely. He was quiet and I thought it would be better to stitch him whilst he was unaware.

I held the flask to his mouth and he swallowed a little. I just prayed that he was strong enough to recover from what was obviously an infected wound.

It seemed hours before Sam returned with another man who seemed to know what was required. He built a small fire under a hole in the ceiling and put some water on to boil. I was able to clean the knife and needle in the boiling water. The thread had been supplied by Mrs Jenkins. I didn't ask what tale Sam had spun. Both men held lamps over my patient as I did my best to cut away the infected flesh and swill the wound with clean water. I boiled up some of my herbs to help with healing and impregnated some cloth with the mix.

Finally, I tried to draw some of the flesh together and stitch it. It wasn't possible at one end of the wound so I had to resort to tight bandaging. I made a tisane and got some between Jeremiahs lips, which were gripped tight together. He must have been conscious while I worked but he had not cried out.

I sighed, and shook my head at Sam. ‘I don't know if that is good enough: he needs careful nursing and a change of dressings every day, the wound needs to be kept clean.'

‘We're obliged to thee Esther; I will go and get you some blankets and food and more water. We'll stay here this night.'

‘I can't stay here!' I gasped. ‘I will be missed – I've done what you asked now I must go home to Beth.'

Sam smiled a slow almost lazy smile. ‘You be one of us now girl, there'll be a price on your 'ead for 'elping such as we. I'll leave you now with Digger, who'll watch over you and my brother. Don't think about trying to escape – you'll never make it through the brooks alive.'

He turned to Digger, ‘Don' 'ee touch 'er boy we got plans for she. I be back before dark.'

He was gone. Digger produced a flask and offered it to me. I shook my head, wanting nothing to do with him or my cousin. I huddled down and tried to put as much distance between me and my guard. He fixed his eyes on me and rarely looked away. I was petrified. Clearly these men had no moral standards and I could look for no help from them.

I tried to shut down my fears and focus instead on my patient. His recovery would be my best opportunity to escape. If he died I might become expendable. Clearly there was no loyalty for me from this cruel family. No wonder my mother had run away.

Jeremiah was groaning and I crawled over to him, my leg hurting at the hardness of the ground. His mind was wandering and I could hear fear in his delirium. He muttered constantly in dreams that seemed tortured. I hardened my heart and allowed no sympathy no matter what he had endured within his own family. He had forfeited my goodwill by the wickedness of his family's deeds. That they had spilled blood in the pursuit of coin and strong drink was reason enough to turn my back. I would only seek to help him in the interest of my escape.

I must have dozed because when I woke the man Digger was closer to me. Still he watched, his deepset eyes only shifting from me when he took a swig from his flask. He saw I was awake and grinned at me – I thought he looked like a wolf with his unkempt hair and yellow teeth. Once again he offered the flask saying something indecipherable. I shook my head and attempted to move further from him but there was nowhere to go. He grinned again and crept even closer. I prayed for Sam to return before I had to fight this man off. Drink could overcome Sam's instruction to leave me alone and I felt very vulnerable. I was so frightened my throat started to swell and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. Poor Beth, would she lose two mothers, who would care for her?

He was alongside me in a moment, I saw him raise an arm, I couldn't breathe but I could still smell him, I felt my senses distort and I collapsed into a whirling darkness.

Something cold was dripping on my face and I came round to find Digger sitting at my side and dripping cold brandy over my face.

‘You have a drink girl. Jeremiah can't hurt anyone now.'

I took a few seconds to think this through before saying, ‘does he hurt people then?'

‘Aye, he do lash out when 'ee's cornered. It were only a matter o' time 'til he be knifed or shot.'

‘What do you do in the gang?'

‘I be lookout, look after people who need watching and getting rid of the stuff.'

‘You don't hurt people then?'

‘Nah, there's others to do that. I just look the part and frighten them.' He grinned at me.

‘Digger, can you help me escape?'

‘What d'you wanna escape for, these is your kin?'

‘They don't behave like kin, I don't like them. they frighten me. Is my grandfather the ringleader?'

‘Nah, it's her who holds all the keys.'

‘Aunt Tilly?' I said in astonishment.

‘Aye, she's real mean. Don't let her catch you messing up her gang, she'll have your guts for garters,' he smirked. ‘'Cept she don't wear none.'

‘See lassie, if I lets you go you'll not get through the brooks an' I'll end up with a beating, or worse.' He grinned his wolfish smile and took another swig from the flask.

‘But you won't hurt me?'

‘Nah lass, you be safe with old Digger. It's the family you got to watch out for.'

‘Are there many in this gang?'

‘Aye, enuf to frighten the justices. If we get caught we bribe our way out and if they finds our stash we reform and ambush them 'n get it back. We be the free traders and everyone wants what we got, 'specially those old judges.'

‘Does everyone know that it is Aunt Tilly who runs things?'

‘Nah, she's too clever for they. Shh. Someone be there.'

I couldn't hear anything but a few minutes later Sam reappeared with blankets and some food as well as more water.

‘How is he?' he asked.

‘Quiet,' I replied. ‘I don't think he is any worse.'

‘You'd best get some sleep cousin, you'll need your wits about you tomorrow. Ma will come and see yous lookin' after 'im, proper, like.'

‘And what if he dies?' I asked.

He just shrugged and smiled that slow and sinister smile before handing me some bread and a slab of cheese. We all sat the long night through, dozing and waking, shifting and rolling on the hard floor. I kept forcing water into Jeremiah and feeling the heat of his bandage. Sam was sitting propped against the ladder and often I saw his eyes glinting. Like Digger he watched me but Digger was harmless – it was Sam and his mother who frightened me.

I was awoken with a kick. ‘He's talking – wake up, you've got work to do.'

The tight bandage was cool to the touch but I poured cold spring water on it to make it easier to remove without tearing the fragile flesh underneath.

Everything came away easily and I sniffed. I couldn't detect any putrefaction but that didn't mean he was safe. Gently I bathed the edges with my mix of herbs and as I finished I became aware of his eyes on me. He smiled weakly before relaxing into a grimace as I replaced the bandage with clean material and wrapping it tightly. I did not know if I was doing this right, how could I know – I had no experience of such wounds. I prayed once again that he would live, if only for my self-preservation.

Sam had disappeared, taking the ladder up. Digger went with him for a few minutes. I needed to pass water and I didn't want to creep into a corner and expose myself to them. I found my voice and shouted.

‘Sam, I need to come up for a minute. I need some minutes alone, I promise I will not run.'

The ladder reappeared and I wobbled up it and came into the light of the barn. The sun was shining outside and the air smelled sweet and laden with fragrant flower. I breathed deeply as if it were my last.

‘You can go behind those logs but don't think about running,' he warned.

I made myself comfortable but I was distressed at how dirty I had become so quickly.

I was sent back down and once again went to sit beside Jeremiah. He was sleeping, not exactly peacefully but quieter than he had been last night. His pallor had lessened and he was not so clammy. I had hope.