Three Rivers (41 page)

It was hard to believe that she had had her hair done only that morning. She thought about her darling Ava on her picnic, and said to herself as she looked at her watch:
Eh, if I know my daughter, she is bored with everyone by now, even Takis. She is off by herself, giving herself a lecture about how superior she is to everyone around her. Well, good luck to her, maybe she is
.

Kate took herself away from the table and went to the railing of the yacht. She looked at Cairo as they sailed between the banks of the river. She looked down over the side into the water and watched it swirl around. Suddenly she saw Ava’s face in the foam. She knew that she was imagining it, but it was such a clear image looking up at her through the river. Kate blinked her eyes and looked again. The swirling foam had flattened out, and Ava had disappeared.

Oh, for Christ’s sake, now I am seeing things
, Kate thought. She was feeling sick to her stomach and suddenly had a severe attack of heartburn. She thought to herself:
I am so over-tired that my mind is playing tricks. Oh, that Ava, she haunts me always, ever since she was a child. I will be believing in ghosts next
.

She spat in the river and decided to go and lie down in her cabin. Maybe if she freshened up a bit it would make her feel better. She was wet through with perspiration, dirty from the road, tired with a terrible headache, and on top of all that, she realized suddenly, she was going to be seasick.

Billy Buckley came to her rescue just as she was about to faint in the corridor while looking for her cabin. He informed her that the air-conditioning had broken down.

When Kate was finally seated on one chair, her feet put up on another, and her smelling salts found and used, she seemed revived. She told Billy to go and get her case at once, that she had no intention of going down to that hellhole again. The heat was so oppressive and the smell of disinfectant mixed with the sour smell of vomit so strong, it would have knocked anyone out. He then received a lecture and reprimand for even thinking anyone could sleep in a cabin in such conditions.

You silly old bat
, Billy thought,
you are absolutely right, and it’s just as well you did not see the cabin. Four people in a ten-by-twelve-foot space would have really thrown you
. He returned with a towel filled with ice and plonked it on top of Kate’s head.

She grabbed it and said, “For God’s sake, Billy, watch my hairdo.”

He lifted her hair, not even thinking about what she had just said, and smacked the ice-towel onto the back of her neck. He patted her on the shoulder and left her holding the ice on various parts of her body.

When she was revived enough, Kate found a corner at the rear of the deck and assembled a place for herself. She had a chair to sit in, a chair for her feet, one to the right of her for her overnight case and one to the left of her for her handbag. Covered by the canopy and next to the ship’s rail, she was as comfortable as she ever could be. She had a clear view of the riverbank, a little breeze off the water and at least an element of privacy from the others.

The city of Cairo was slowly left behind. There was just a smattering of shacks amidst the vegetation along the banks of the river. It was luscious and green, all rural, all peasant country. Except for the lingering effects from the pitch and roll of the motor launch that made her so very sick to her stomach, the constant pain that she had in her chest, and a dizziness, Kate thought she was feeling better.

She closed her eyes and tried desperately to relax and lose some of the tension and exhaustion that was weighing so heavily upon her. Occasionally she would open her eyes to glance at the late afternoon sunset. Once when she opened her eyes she saw her fellow tourists having a revolting dinner of seven courses, which they wolfed down.

Kate had weak tea and some biscuits, but they made her feel even sicker. Just the smell of food turned her stomach. She was close to the rail and ready to retch several times, but she held back, using willpower. She was a stubborn and vindictive old lady. She was going to control as much of her mind and body as she could during this trip. Every time she felt herself slip into heavier nausea or felt a deeper pain in her chest, she thought of Isabel and the lesson she was teaching her. She thought of Isabel and how she had to be punished. She thought of Isabel and how she hated her.

Kate no longer knew why she hated Isabel. All she could think of was that at last, after years of pretending that she didn’t hate her daughter, she could now admit that she did.

While Billy Buckley had his thirty-five passengers playing “Simon Says” on the longest, most romantic river in the world, Kate’s mind wandered on about the hate she had for Isabel. Isabel would not take her with her. Isabel left her behind. Isabel made a life for herself. Isabel could create things from nothing and be successful at it. She was admired by people. Her Isabel had even made history out in that vast world. She had remained free and independent.

Why shouldn’t Isabel be enslaved like everyone else? Kate knew that there was only one thing that enslaved Isabel and that was guilt. Not as long as Kate lived would she allow Isabel to rid herself of it, for it was the one hold she would always have on her daughter.

The red-hot sun had gone down now. Along the bank of the river, scruffy little children in torn and patched galabias waved at Kate. They ran along, trying to keep up with the boat. Peasant ladies, draped in their black dresses and veils, waved like the children to the strangers passing by. The boat moved, closer to Alexandria.

Now it was black, black night, and the sky was shot full of stars. There was even a moon, a big, perfect, white half-moon. Kate was looking at her watch. She could hardly believe it. Eleven o’clock and they were serving food again. Her ancient traveling companions were still on their feet, now drinking hot tea, coffee and milk and eating biscuits and sandwiches. She settled for weak tea again and tried another biscuit.

Billy Buckley came over to her and asked if she was feeling better. He thought she did not look at all well. She had been awfully still and quiet and had not demanded anything. In his experience as a group guide that did not seem right.

Kate told Billy that she was all right. He slipped a pillow under the back of her head. It made her a little more comfortable and she thanked him, saying, “Go away, Billy, I’m fine, just thinking about my daughter.”

Again she began to fantasize about Isabel. For the very first time since this whole insane journey of hers had started, and she had seen Isabel in Athens and received
the news that her daughter was going to marry, Kate at last considered the possibility that Isabel might go through with it.

Her imagination took flight and she saw Isabel giving herself in a strange exotic ceremony. Dozens of Arab men in flowing long black robes were all around her, while a few dark, black-draped women off in a corner watched.

Isabel herself was all draped and veiled in black except for her breasts, which protruded through two round holes in her dress. She had diamonds, huge diamonds, on all her fingers.

Kate tried to conjure up what the man looked like. He looked like, like, who? Oh, yes, she remembered the look of an Arab man. He would look like that awful oil sheikh from Saudi Arabia. She remembered how he looked from all the pictures of him in the paper.

He would take her to a big house with lots of servants and keep her there, just for his own sexual needs. He would give her no money but shower her with presents.

For the first time in her life Kate saw her daughter, Isabel, ask even for the very bread that went into her mouth, or a dress for her body, all because of this man. Isabel beaten down and made dependent on this man. Why would she do it? Because this man dominated her sexually? The slut!
That
is why she did it. Oh, my God, she made herself a slave, that stupid, stupid girl. She was free all of her life, earned her own money, and now she makes herself a slave for a man!

Kate became hysterically agitated. In her warped imagination, she hated her daughter Isabel even more.
I only hope that when she tries to get away, he does not let her go. He’ll know how to keep her. I hope he beats her. I hope he whips her. I hope he gives her all the whippings that I never did. The minute that she tries to be independent, stubborn, an individual, he will take a whip out and let her have it
.

Kate became strangely excited by the idea of a man whipping her daughter. The thought that he would punish her because she wanted to leave him, wanted her freedom, was just.

When she opened her eyes most of the passengers had gone downstairs to their hot, smelly cells to try and get a few hours’ sleep. A few just sat all night in their upright chairs.

When her eyes were open, reality of a sort came back to her. The heat, the constant threat of seasickness and the state of her emotions, as well as the pain in her chest, all merged into exhaustion, and finally Kate fell into a restless sleep.

The sun was just coming up when she felt the most terrifying pain across her chest. It was as if someone had taken a sharp knife and driven it into her heart. The pain woke her out of a deep sleep. She screamed as loud as she could, and gasping for breath, she grabbed for her chest. The people on deck jumped up and ran towards her. She opened her eyes and the pain subsided. There was just a horrible soreness as if someone had beaten her around the chest. There were tears in her eyes. She whispered to please bring her a drink of water so she could take a pill. She told them she had been deep in a horrible nightmare and that it had frightened her; the next thing she knew she was screaming.

Someone brought her a glass of water and she took her pill, asking them to please just leave her alone, she would be all right. Kate closed her eyes and the nausea came on her fast. She struggled up from her chair, went to the rail and vomited violently.

The sun came up and it became light, hot and then bright. Kate made it the few steps back to her chair and, with tears of pain from her own wretchedness, she sat there looking across the river to the bank, where life was beginning to stir. With a great deal of effort, she put her feet up on the chair opposite her and lay back. She closed her eyes, and in a while she felt a little better. She would take it very easy onboard the
Aphrodite
. This was a very hard trip, but she was sure in the end it would be well worth it.

At eight in the morning all the tables were set for breakfast, and the senior citizens, none the worse for wear, streamed to the tables. The smell of fried eggs and coffee, combined with the chatter of the blue-haired travelers, made Kate even more miserable. All she could think was:
I am sick enough to die. Will this river trip never end?

Once the realization came to Kate of just how miserable and ill she was, real fear set in. After all the years of imaginary heart attacks, Kate realized that she had suffered the real thing a few hours before. She was still in
pain, but she knew that as much as she wanted to be taken care of, she dared not make too much of it until they were off the river and on the
Aphrodite
. Once out to sea, she would then let them put her in the sick bay.

There was no way that she would allow them to discover how bad she was, for fear that they would put her in the hospital at Alexandria. The last thing on earth she wanted was to be in Egypt and have Isabel find out she had not had a wonderful holiday for herself. There would be good doctors aboard the liner. They would have a fine sick bay, what with all these old cronies. She would be fine once she was out of the Egyptian waters on her way to America.

She took stock and decided she could brave it all the way to the ship. She would take it easy and pretend it was all a severe case of seasickness and dysentery.

Billy Buckley was standing over her. He had a tray, and on it was a glass of orange juice, a poached egg on toast and a cup of tea. He very gently put the tray down on her lap.

“Oh, Billy, I know that you are trying to help. You are a good boy, but please, darling, go play ‘Simple Simon’ over there.”

“It’s ‘Simon Says,’ Mrs. Wells.”

“OK, Billy, go play ‘Simon Says’ over there. I couldn’t eat a thing.”

“I think you should, Mrs. Wells. You have been so seasick that I think if you made an effort to put something in your stomach, it will give you a little energy. Look, there will be a bus when we land to take us to the
Aphrodite
, but you need to have some energy so we can get you on that bus. You want to see a little of Alexandria, don’t you, on the way to the port?”

“Listen, Billy, I don’t care if I never see a thing of Alexandria. Don’t worry about me, I will drag myself onto that bus, and once I am off this crappy river I will be my old self again.”

In the end they made a compromise. Billy’s dimples and sparkling white teeth, his open and good nature, got Kate to eat part of the egg on toast and drink most of the tea. It seemed to stay down this time, and she thought,
I will be just fine when I get on that nice big ship. Two days and I will be up and around and bored with all these old bags
.

In the early hours of the morning Kate did manage to get out of her chair, even spoke sweetly to a few of the blue-haired ladies and took a small walk on deck. She never strayed very far from the little niche she had made for herself and eventually went back, sat down, and put her feet up.

If there was anything good she could say about the trip, it was that at least she was out of the city, and it was nice to see all the fresh greenery along the banks of the Nile. So far as Kate Wells was concerned, all the Arabs could keep their country. She had seen plenty of it, and it was less than nothing. The romantic Nile, you could keep it. Leave it to Isabel to end up the rich wife of a man who would make her live in a country riddled with disease, poverty and heat. That is
if
she got married, or was going to get married.

An hour outside Alexandria, the delta cruise ship passed a village along the bank of the river. It was no different from any other village, except that the people were walking along in some sort of procession. Kate watched them trail along the path. There were a dozen people sitting on an old wooden flat cart. It was being drawn by an emaciated ox, or some sort of animal like that. The animal was draped in garlands of colored flowers, half fresh, half plastic. Around its head it had a wreath of green leaves. The people were all laughing and playing.