Three Girls And A Wedding (16 page)

***

Matt didn’t call me back. I kind of
gave up after the second day. It stung, really it did. I’d had such a good time
with him. It was hard for me to really connect with people like I had with him.
Outside of Ginny and Annie, my circle of friends consisted mostly of
acquaintances: people whose company I enjoyed, people who were fun to hang out
with, but not really anyone I could confide in.

I was feeling pretty terrible about
the whole thing until I talked to my mother Monday evening. She was eager to
hear all about the trip and I tried to oblige, but the whole thing was soured
for me.

“Jennifer, what’s wrong?” she
finally asked. “I feel like something must be bothering you.”

I closed my eyes, unsure of what to
tell her. I wanted badly to ask her advice about Matt, but I wondered if there
was a point. She would probably be horrified that I had allowed something
personal to overshadow the work I had to do.

“If you don’t want to tell me,
that’s fine,” she finally said. “But would you allow me to give you some
advice?”

“Sure,” I mumbled.

“I have a little trick I like to do
when I’m feeling overwhelmed or upset. I have a list in my head of the things
that are important to me. Whenever it all feels too much, I go over those
things. I visualize them.” I smiled, thinking of her visualizing me and Lou and
drawing comfort from our faces. “I really allow myself to see them. It usually
helps to pull things into focus.”

“That’s a good idea, Mom,” I said,
already thinking of what would be on my list. Annie and Gin, certainly. Danny.

“Think of your promotion,” she went
on, and I stiffened. Of course, these were meant to be professional goals.
“Think of how high you could climb in that firm. I would imagine the commission
on this wedding will be pretty extensive. You could get a better car, Jen,
something that makes more of a statement!”

“You’re right, Mom,” I said,
sighing.

“I just would hate to see you get
distracted at this stage, sweetie,” she said. “I know it’s tempting to let
yourself worry about all those silly things girls your age get caught up in,
but you’re really so much better than that. So much more driven.”

It was just like what Jason had
said about me, I thought as I ended the call with my mom. I was supposed to be
a driven person, I was supposed to have focus. I was finally in a position
where I might be in line for some of those things I had been working toward. A
promotion. A raise. Was I really going to let Matt get in my head and distract
me? When it was so clear he wanted nothing to do with me?

I felt a slight pang as I thought
of his eyes in the moment before he kissed me. The way he seemed so concerned
about my pain, so sad at the sight of my tears. I thought of the way he had
stayed in my room until I was in bed, tucking me in and rubbing my back. Making
me feel safe and warm. When was the last time I’d had that? Someone to take
care of me?

But that was the point, wasn’t it?
I shouldn’t need someone to take care of me. I could take care of myself. My
mom was the perfect example. She had fallen for that old line with my dad,
believing that a man could give her the things she needed. Look how that had
turned out. It wasn’t until she had left him, until we had left him, that she
figured out how to look after herself. My mother was the poster child for
self-sufficiency. And she was so much happier now than she had ever been with
my dad. I couldn’t let myself forget that.

I decided right then and there that
nothing, and I mean nothing, was going to distract me from doing the very best
work I could possibly manage on Kiki and Eric’s wedding. Nothing was going to
get in the way of my dreams coming true. I would be like my mother. I simply
wouldn’t allow myself to fail.

My iPhone rang again, distracting
me from my thoughts. Jason. Fabulous.

“Hello,” I said, not trying to keep
the irritation from my voice.

“Hello, Jen,” he said. “Listen, I
wanted to apologize. I think I may have been too harsh with you at the hotel
yesterday.”

My mouth dropped open. Was he for
real?

“I was hoping you might let me make
it up to you,” he continued. “Maybe with drinks tomorrow after work?”

I was flabbergasted. This was the
second time Jason had asked me out. What was his angle? He clearly didn’t like
me any more than I liked him.

Jason chuckled softly on the other
end of the phone. “You still with me? Listen, I don’t have some nefarious plot
here. I just want to spend some time with you. You’re an interesting person. If
it makes you feel better, we can talk about work the whole time. What do you
say?”

I swallowed. Part of me was
horrified at the very idea, while another part was flattered. After the
rejection I had just experienced, I had to admit it was very nice to hear that
someone actually wanted to spend time with me. And Jason was a successful
person. Driven, like he had said. And wasn’t that my grand revelation after
talking with my mom, that I needed to be more driven, more focused? Who better
to help me with that than Jason?

“Sorry,” I said, clearing my
throat. “Jason, I’d love to have drinks with you. Thank you for asking.”

Chapter Eighteen

‘There are few days
more special in a girl’s life than the day of her wedding shower! In addition
to preparing you for the home you’ll build with your husband, this should be an
opportunity for you to enjoy the company of friends and family. Isn’t it
wonderful to be surrounded by so much love?’—
A Bride’s Guide to a Fabulous Wedding

“Jen, this is lovely. What a nice
job you’ve done,” Mrs. Barker said, putting an arm around my shoulders and
giving me a slight squeeze. I was touched. I had been working very hard on the
shower, and now that it was here, I had to agree with her. It was lovely.

It was a beautiful day, not too hot
for late August, with a lovely breeze rustling through the flowers in the
Barkers’ extensive gardens. I couldn’t have asked for a better site for the
shower. The grounds were perfectly landscaped, the flowers riotous with color
this time of August. I had chosen to use Mrs. Barker’s own blossoms in the
vases on the tables, and I think it added a nice touch.

“I think most of the loveliness is
due to our surroundings,” I told Mrs. Barker honestly. “Your home is so
beautiful.”

“Oh, thank you, dear,” she said,
smiling as she looked around. “You know, sometimes I still find it hard to
believe. Our first home was a studio apartment, did Kiki ever tell you that?”

“No!” I said, unable to picture it.

Mrs. Barker laughed. “It’s true.
Now, granted, it was a well-decorated studio apartment. I made sure of that.”

I laughed, knowing from talking
with Kiki that Mrs. Barker had studied interior design and had, in fact,
handled the interiors on her husband’s earliest real estate acquisitions,
before being the wife of the David Barker had become a full time job.

“Naturally,” I told her, and she
laughed too.

“Anyhow, I suppose I should
circulate,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Have fun,” I told her, and she
moved away.

I walked through the garden,
straightening chairs and table linens. There wasn’t much left for me to do,
honestly. The place looked perfect.

I allowed myself a moment to sit.
My feet ached and my back was feeling tight. I couldn’t remember the last time
I had gotten a full night’s sleep. In the month since we had been back from New
York, I had completely thrown myself into my job. Jason had been very pleased
with my performance, going so far as to tell Jacqueline he was impressed. High
praise from him.

We’d gone out a couple times and I
was surprised to find that I enjoyed myself. He was different outside of work,
less “on” all the time. He was a smart guy and had a lot of interesting things
to say. There wasn’t any spark there, no real chemistry, but we got along
pretty well and it was better than spending my rare work-free evenings alone.

However, in the week leading up to
the shower I’d put in so many hours I barely had time to eat, let alone go on
dates. Annie and Jen expressed concern that I was overdoing it, but I knew they
just didn’t get it. This wedding—every single aspect—was going to be
perfect if it killed me.

I felt a slight twinge thinking
about Annie. She and I weren’t on the best of terms.

In fact, we’d had a pretty big
fight the day before. She was irritated with me because I was skipping the
meeting with the graphic designer Josh had found to do invitations. I didn’t
understand what the big deal was. This person was a co-worker of Josh’s, not
someone I had found. What on earth did they need me there for?

“It’s more than just this meeting,
and you know it,” she had said flatly. “You’re putting all your attention on
the Barker wedding and I don’t think it’s very fair.”

That had really pissed me off.
Didn’t she see how hard I was trying? I said some things to her that, in
retrospect, weren’t very nice. It wasn’t like Annie and me to fight—she
often bickered good-naturedly with Ginny, part of their having been friends
since the age of five—but she and I usually were fairly even-keeled with
each other.

I sighed. I would make it up to her
the next day. The three of us, along with Josh, were going to register at a few
stores. Honestly, this is something we should have done weeks ago—Ginny’s
shower was fast approaching—but I simply hadn’t had the time before now.

Just
keep everything going until the Barker wedding is over
, I told myself for
the millionth time. It had kind of turned into a mantra for me. Of course,
there were things that had to be done for Ginny’s wedding before then, but a
lot of it—the centerpieces, the seating chart, the favors—could be
done the week before the 30th. That one beautiful week between the end of
Kiki’s wedding and the start of Ginny’s. If I could just get to that point, it
would all be fine.

And when Ginny and Annie saw how
lovely everything I had planned would turn out, they would forget their
irritation. I hoped.

I looked up and saw Kiki emerging
from the house. She looked gorgeous. She and I had spent hours shopping for the
perfect dress for today. She wanted it to be inspired by her wedding dress
without giving the look of it away. But it was worth it in the end: she looked
perfect in her cream colored, empire-waist sundress. Annie had been the only
one to go with Ginny to pick out her shower dress, because I had been at a cake
tasting with Kiki. I felt a pang but pushed it down.

Tomorrow
,
I thought, standing up to get the shower under way.
I’ll fix it all tomorrow.

Kiki’s shower went off without a
hitch. The weather remained perfect, the food was delicious, the games silly
and fun. Bella was probably the only one who didn’t have a good time, but I
refused to let that bother me; that was a battle I just couldn’t win.

Eric arrived at exactly the right
moment to help Kiki open presents. His charming nature and self-deprecating
humor as Kiki oohed and
ahhed
over every gift won
over all the ladies.

I was feeling pretty good as I
helped oversee the clean-up crew. Kiki and Mrs. Barker were happy, everything
had gone beautifully, and I had a whole day off to spend with the girls.

Then Matt showed up.

As soon as I saw him step out
through the French doors onto the patio, I dropped the glass I was holding.
Luckily I was out on the grass and it didn’t break, but still. Real smooth.

I probably wouldn’t have felt such
a reaction if I had been expecting him, but I wasn’t. I was completely
unprepared to see him. I hadn’t laid eyes on him since we got off the plane
and, as he had never returned my message, I hadn’t even talked to him in nearly
a month.

I had been hoping that by throwing
myself into my work, I would be able to forget about him, get over him. I had
even thought seeing Jason might help. And in fact, I had nearly forgotten just
how gorgeous he was, how tall and broad, how dark his eyes were. Maybe I
was
over it. But nope, there he was in
front of me and I felt every bit of that same attraction deep in my stomach.

Perhaps I was in the clear though.
He didn’t seem to have seen me; instead, he was talking to Kiki and Eric.
 
If I just made myself really busy he
might completely ignore me. I saw him and Eric head over to the massive pile of
gifts (seriously, did these people not realize how loaded Kiki was?). It looked
like they were debating the best way to get them out to the car. I took a
relieved breath.

“Jen!” Kiki called loudly. “Jen,
look! Matt’s here!”

I groaned. So much for avoiding
him. I looked up to wave, hoping I could get away with just that, but saw that
Matt was already making his way toward me. Alone. I felt my heart rate begin to
increase.

“Hey, Jen,” he said, stopping a few
feet away from me and putting his hands in his pockets. He looked awkward.

“Hi, how are you?” I tried to keep
my voice light, casual.
Don’t think about
kissing him
, I ordered myself.
Don’t
think about how his hand felt on your face
.

“I’m good, you?”

“Pretty good,” I replied. Oh God,
could this be any more awkward?

“Look, I owe you an apology,” he
said quickly, not meeting my eyes. “I was really rude to you and it wasn’t
fair. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” I said,
trying to laugh lightly. I’m not sure I pulled it off. “Ancient history.”

He looked at me closely, but didn’t
respond.

“Really,” I said, feeling like I
was babbling but unable to stop myself. “Don’t worry.”