Thorneless (Rose of Thorne Series) (12 page)

S
hit! I’m so damn hard that the zipper on my shorts is killing me.
 

One last final flip lands her facing the porch where I stand and her gorgeous eyes meet mine. Her cheeks redden with embarrassment when she realizes that I’ve been watching her. A huge smile fills her beautiful face as she looks up at me and switches off the music. I begin clapping my hands in approval of her dancing. She bows and laughs as she makes her way to where I’m standing. I meet her on the steps with a bottle of water. She thanks me as she opens the bottle and
tips it to suck and quench her thirst.
Fuck, what I wouldn’t give to be the damn piece of plastic.

“I know I‘ve told you before, but you’re an amazing dancer. How long have you danced like that?”

“I started dancing when I was two years old. It was all I ever dreamed of until my parents died. After they passed away, I had to turn down a scholarship. There wasn’t enough money for me to continue, so I stopped. It made me too sad to dance anyway without them here to watch me perform. I only dance if I need to let out how I’m feeling.  Dancing is my release. It allows me to let go of what’s inside of me.  Without it, I can’t survive. It’s almost the same as breathing to me,” she replies passionately.

I stare at her face while she finishes speaking. The light is back in her eyes agai
n. The smile is back on her face. My girl is coming back to me. She reaches out, takes my hand and entwines her fingers with mine. There’s something there in that look.
Please, Lord, tell me I’m not imagining this.
Tenderly, she kisses me and then shyly excuses herself to take a quick shower.  

Imagining her wet and naked in the shower doesn’t help me at all. I turn at her words and feel the tug in my shorts
. I must wait.  

The rest of our day flies by and before I know it, she’s sitting beside me in my Aston Martin as we head back to the airport. Turning her baseball cap backwards to match mine,
I smile, grab her hand, and place it in my lap. She turns the volume up on the music and begins lifting her hands in the wind.  Katie Perry’s
Roar
blares through the speakers and I smile like a fool. Slowly, my beautiful girl is coming alive again.  I’m determined to be patient and slowly breathe life into her. I don’t care how long it takes; she’s worth the wait.  As bad as I want her, I want her to love me and for Sebastian Thorne to be a distant memory on the Sea of Regret.

I look back over to her singing.
 
That’s it, baby!  ROAR! London here we come!

Sebastian

Walking death.  Those are the two words that describe me since I lost her. I’d known the minute she’d left the city again, because I had felt it.  It was as if part of me died all over again. How do you go on without your soul or your heart? The answer is simple…you don’t.  And what I’m doing certainly wouldn’t classify as living. I can’t even say that it’s surviving, because I’m already dead inside.  

I knew writing that letter would be pointless. I had to let her know that I love her and that I am sorry for
every horrible thing I did. I didn’t even believe she’d actually even read it. I’ve betrayed her trust and I don’t deserve her love or her forgiveness. Let’s be honest, maybe I never did in the first place. I’d hoped she would, in some way, come to forgive me, but I realize now that I’m asking for the impossible to occur.

I wish I could run from all the pain her memory causes me, but I can’t.
 She’s always there when I close my eyes. If only she were there when I opened them. Believe me, I’ve prayed and wished for it every possible waking moment. As if I don’t torment myself enough, I have a new obsession. It’s called Internet stalking. I hadn’t actually meant to become so addicted to searching for them on the computer. It’s just that I crave seeing her in any way I can, even if it means she is pictured with that son-of-a-bitch, Lucas. Google alerts ring almost daily with pictures of them at events all over the country.  

Tabloids are never usually true and I’m quite familiar with their shady headlines
—however, this week’s Google alerts on my tablet only seem to feed my jealousy and anger. There are rumors of Lucas proposing marriage and how the stunning beauty had yet again won the heart of one of the hottest eligible bachelors in the country.
Lucas never kept a quiet profile like I do, so the paparazzi love him.  Unfortunately, they also now love the only woman that frequents his arm . . . my Skylar.

I’m not blind and I am definitely not stupid. Lucas Drake is completely and madly in love with her. Hell, he always has been for that matter.
 Every single picture I find on the computer shows her giving a breathtaking smile, and him looking at her in complete fascination. Something in her eyes is very different now; it saddens me that even with that beautiful smile on her face, she’s still so empty. I did that to her. I’d been the one who had put that pain there.  

What she doesn’t know is that seeing her in Austin a couple of weeks ago awoke something inside of me. There is no way I am letting the love of my life go. I’ve kept away for far too long. Whether she’s willing to right now or not, I’ll fight for us. What Skylar and I have is beyond epic. Our love isn’t like anything you see every day. People live their entire lifetimes without ever witnessing this. We are meant to be together and I’ll be damned if I allow Lucas Drake to have what is mine. She is and always will be just that
—mine.  

Yes, I had let her go. Like a fucking fool, I let her walk away that day
—however, that never meant I’m giving up on us. Forgiveness for what I have done I know seems impossible, but I pray for it every day.  I will do anything it takes to earn it and her love again.  First thing first, how do I get close enough to her to talk to her? Last time we saw each other wasn’t expected and certainly hadn’t ended well.  And for that I hate myself.   

Per my request, my mail had been forwarded to me while I was in New York on business. As usual, I quickly go about disposing the invitations to social functions and gala openings that I normally received
—all except this one in my hand. This is the miracle I need. This is my ticket to see my girl.

Kingston Gilbert Corporation Annual Masquerade Ball

Guest of Honor

Skylar Rose of Drake Corporation

Baylor Par Square

The Seventeenth of May

Event will begin with reveal at Seven in the Evening

A masquerade party means that she’ll never recognize me behind the disguise of a mask. I can slip in and out of the ball and remain completely undetected.
I’ve got to see her
. I check the date on the card and see that it will be one week from today in London.  Something about seeing her name etched in silver on this card ignites a maddening desire within me. I slowly trace the letters of her name on the front of the invitation and smile. A decision had never been so easy to make. I immediately begin making all the necessary phone calls to make all the arrangements. This time next week I’ll be in London. I’ll be with my girl.

Lucas

We arrived in London and finally settle into our hotel. We both will share the same suite, but with separate bedrooms. Once our things are settled in, we decided to go out to grab a late dinner. I wanted to celebrate her accomplishment, so I ordered us the finest bottle of champagne. It isn’t long before we’re laughing and stumbling into the waiting cab on the street. Skylar isn’t drunk, but she’s definitely tipsy. When she spots the London Bridge just ahead, she yells for the driver to stop and then tugs me excitedly out with her. She looks like a happy, young, and free spirit dancing here in the streets of London.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” she asks, not taking her eyes off the old bridge ahead.
 I haven’t stopped staring at her.

“Yes, it certainly is,” I reply. I’ve seen that stupid bridge a thousand times at least and it isn’t special to me anymore. I’ve seen her face since the moment I hit her with my car. She is on my mind constantly
—however, I’ll never grow tired of looking at her. That smile she’s wearing right now? Well, let’s just say it makes it all worthwhile.

All of these moments and all of these long months were not just for her. I wanted to save her from the pain; I wanted to give her back her life. Watching her swirl around and around giggling makes everything I’ve waited patiently for worth it. My angel has awoken to see that the world around her is still there.
 Right now, she’s in my world and I will let nothing take her away from me.

Skylar

Never in my wildest dreams could I imagine my life like it is right now. Walking back to our hotel hand in hand with Lucas tonight is magical.  When he touches me now, I crave more and I miss his touch when it leaves my skin. Yet I admit, I still crave another’s man touch even more. Well, it’s time to change that. I have to do this and it must be tonight.

I have to move on
—
it’s the only way.

Lucas always holds off and stops us every time we get carried away in our kisses. I need more of him to get rid of these feeling and thoughts that rage in my head. Once we’re in our suite, he kisses me goodnight, but this time I hold on.

“Make love to me Lucas,” I whisper against his lips.

His eyes turn a deep dark green and flood with desire. I’ve seen this look before. It happens all the time now, and it’s always an indicator of him about to push me away.

“No, Skylar. Not until you’re ready,” he replies as he tries to control his frantic breathing.

“Yes. Yes, I am ready. Please, Lucas,” I say as I lick his lower lip.

My body wants him, but my heart is screaming at me with vengeance to knock it off. Ignoring the voices inside my head, I intensify my kiss and move to loose his shirt.

I smile
when the zipper of my dress slides down on my hip. I slam my mouth to his and roll my tongue around his. I make it to the last button before he pushes me away. Gasping for air, he staggers backwards.

“No! Not this way!” H
e says and then turns to go to his room.

“Please,” I cry as he shuts the door behind him and I walk to my room in defeat.

Removing my dress, I slip my favorite nightgown over my body. The soft plush covers feel so good to lie against and soon I am drifting into a deep, yet troubled slumber. Soon, I wake up shivering and gasping for air. Sebastian’s kiss and touch is haunting and invading my dreams once again. Nightmares aren’t unusual for me by any means, but now my dreams are beginning to terrify me. They terrify me because they make me question everything that I’ve worked so hard to put back together in my life. They make me question who I love. This dream has left me panting for him. My continual desire for Sebastian cannot be ignored.

I tried to convince myself that I’m ready for more by begging Lucas to make love to me tonight. It hadn’t worked obviously, as I’m here all alone now.

Damn that man for being so strong!

Maybe that’s for the best, especially after the dream I just had. I truly do love Lucas
—at least this is what I think love feels like. I can’t tell because everything is different now than before when I was with Sebastian. These two men are so very unique, so wouldn’t the way I feel about them be different too?

Love can’t feel the same for everyone can it?

The raging battle of my heart and mind continues and I don’t know if I’ll survive to find out who wins. It’s killing every part of me.  

I throw my covers back and stare over to the mahogany desk in the room where my leather satchel is laying. The moonlight glistens off the shiny surface through the open curtains. I drag my damp nightgown off over my head and reach for the robe beside my bed. Tying the sash around my waist, I make my way to the chair in front of the desk and sit.
 

London traffic is still bustling in the streets below, but all I can think about is the satchel before me. I open the side flap and hesitantly slide my hand inside. I grasp the tip of the envelope and gently slide it out. I’ve held this letter so many times in my hands that the corners of the paper are wrinkled. I lightly trace my name with my fingertips and close my eyes. He’s here with me in every curve of my name on this envelope.

I sit shaking as I push myself to move my finger under the flap of the envelope.  I fold it back and hesitantly I ease the paper out.  I gather every bit of courage I have left inside me and open my eyes to unfold the stationary.
Breathe.
I try to relax, but a knock on my door causes me to jump. Looking over at the clock, I see it’s 3 am London time. I stand and walk over to the door and open it to find Lucas looking at me through smoldering emerald eyes.