Thor Is Locked in My Garage! (3 page)

Lewis took a step back. “We’d better get out of here.”

“Relax, Lewis, it’s only a snowman,” said Greg. “A few good kicks will knock it to bits.”

Even as he spoke, the lumpy snow creature hardened into a glittering statue of clear greenish ice. Its face became a crystal mask of jutting angles. Claws like icicles bristled from its hands.

Lewis gulped. “I think it’s a lot worse than a snowman.”

“Actually it’s more of an ice monster,” said Loki. “Here, why don’t you get acquainted?”

He waved the creature forward and it stomped towards the boys, slashing the air with its jagged claws.

“Run!” yelled Lewis.

The brothers wheeled around and bolted. Almost at once they found themselves floundering in the snow. The monster came after them with a noise like icebergs colliding.

Bounding clumsily from drift to drift, the boys fled along Station Road.

Lewis could hear the creature’s icy talons clashing behind him like steel shears. Straining for speed, he slipped and sprawled flat on his face.

Greg seized his elbow and tried to haul him up. “Come on, Lewis, move!” he urged. He lost his footing and flopped down right beside his brother.

His heart pounding, Lewis looked up and saw Loki’s monster looming over them. It raised its claws and prepared to strike.

Lewis gritted his teeth and braced himself for the deadly blow.

But at that instant a figure leaped suddenly from the narrow alleyway of Granny Clarke’s Wynd, like a rabbit popping out of its hole.

It was Susie Spinetti.

As the monster lunged at the boys, she swung her hockey stick and hooked it around its ankle. The boys rolled desperately aside as the ice creature toppled face first into the snow.

“Ka-BOOM!” Susie crowed in triumph.

It was what she shouted whenever she scored a goal.

“Spinny!” Greg exclaimed, as he struggled to his feet, pulling Lewis up beside him.

“Come on, you two, don’t hang about!” Susie cried, bounding off in her thick-soled boots. “Good thing for you I hung back in defence.”

“It’s lucky for us she’s a pal,” said Lewis, as he and Greg toiled after her.

The deep snow made it impossible to move quickly. When Lewis glanced back he saw the ice monster heave itself upright. With a noise like an avalanche, it started after them, closing the gap with long, purposeful strides.

“We’ll never get away from that thing!” Lewis gasped.

“We’ll have to stand and fight then,” said Greg. “Here, give me a loan of that stick, Spinny.”

“Don’t be daft,” said Susie. “Come on, we’ll duck in here.”

She swerved left, vaulted up a couple of steps and dived through the revolving door of the Rannoch Hotel. The boys dashed in behind her and stumbled into the brightly lit foyer.

Following hard on their heels, the snow monster hurled itself at the revolving door. Without a brain to understand how the door worked, the creature got trapped in one section. Instead of exiting, it sent the door into a wild spin.

Faster and faster it flew around, the monster clattering about like a glass tumbler in a washing machine. Chips flew off at every impact until suddenly it shattered into smithereens. When the door slowed to halt all that was left was a harmless scattering of ice.

“Fife Flames one, ice robots nil!” Susie declared with satisfaction.

Lewis yanked off his woolly hat. “Loki could easily whip up another one of those things to send after us,” he muttered to Greg.

“The heat in here would probably melt it,” said Greg.

“Fair enough,” Lewis conceded, “but we can’t stay put forever. Suppose Loki’s waiting outside?”

“One thing at a time,” said Greg, turning to Susie. “Not that we don’t appreciate the help, Spinny, but what exactly are you doing here?”

“I knew you were up to something,” said Susie, “and it’s easy to trail folk when they leave footprints in the snow.” She fixed them with a challenging stare. “If you ask me, it’s you boys that have got some explaining to do.”

Lewis noticed that they were drawing disapproving glances from a number of guests who were seated in comfy chairs
sipping coffee.

“Over here,” he said, leading the way to a quiet spot by a potted rubber plant.

Susie lost no time in getting to the point. “Spill it. Who is that guy in the fur coat and how did he make that monster come out of the snow?”

As Lewis groped for words, the revolving door spun around and Loki came sauntering across the hotel lobby. He scanned the foyer and Lewis’ heart skipped a beat when his sharp eyes spotted them.

Loki popped a stick of chewing gum into his mouth and walked over to them.

“No cigar today?” Greg inquired.

“My doctor told me to give them up,” said Loki.

Lewis forced himself to speak boldly. “That’s right, without any magic powers, you’re just a guy.”

“And you can’t pull any of your snow tricks in here,” said Greg.

“Don’t be so sure of that,” said Loki. He raised an eyebrow at Susie. “And who’s this little spitfire?”

“Leave her out of it,” said Greg, stepping between them.

Loki removed his hat and scratched his head. “Take it from me, toots,” he told Susie, “hanging around with these chuckleheads will only buy you trouble.”

“Toots?” Susie echoed indignantly. “Who do you think you’re talking to?”

Ignoring her, Loki addressed the boys. “Last time we met up you got lucky, plain and simple. But if you cross me again, it will take more than a trick door to save you.” He put his hat back on and headed to the exit. “Take a telling and back off.”

As he disappeared through the revolving door, Lewis let out
the breath he had been holding. “I thought he might whip up another blizzard right here,” he said.

“He was bluffing,” Greg snorted.

“Did you hear what he called me? Toots!” Susie exclaimed, as though that were all that mattered. She took an angry step towards the door. “I’ve half a mind to go after him and—”

“That’s a bad idea,” said Lewis, blocking her way.

Susie eyed him crossly, then turned to Greg. “I’m still waiting for an explanation from you two,” she said, bouncing the blade of her hockey stick off the palm of one hand. “And it better be good.”

Greg rubbed his jaw. “Well, since you’ve jumped right into the middle of things, I suppose you might as well know the whole story.”

He and Lewis took turns telling, as briefly as possible, how Loki had conjured up a magical day that transformed the whole of St Andrews and how they had only just been able to turn everything back to normal. It had happened months ago and they definitely hadn’t expected to see him again.

There was a long silence while Susie stared at them. “Okay,” she said at last, “who is he really?”

“We just told you,” said Greg.

Susie clucked her tongue. “Greg, I wasn’t born yesterday. I don’t believe in Norse gods and magic and stuff any more than I believe in ghosts or fairies. Come on, what is he? A space alien?”

Lewis knew there was never any point arguing with Susie. “All right, you guessed it,” he said. “He’s a space alien.”

“From Planet X or something,” Greg agreed.

Susie grinned. “Well, why didn’t you just say so in the first place?” She gave her hockey stick a warlike shake. “We’ll teach
him to invade
our
planet!”

Just then a young woman in a smart uniform approached them from the reception desk. “Excuse me, can I help you?” she asked primly. “I don’t think you’re guests here.” She cast a wary eye over Susie’s hockey stick.

Before Lewis could say they were just sheltering from the blizzard, Greg declared loudly, “We’re here for the spoons.”

The woman raised her eyebrows. “Spoons?”

“Right. We’re collecting spoons for charity. To help starving people in Burpovia.”

Lewis groaned, but there was no stopping Greg now.

“Are people starving in – what was it? –
Burpovia?
” the woman inquired.

“You bet they are,” said Greg. “We’re collecting spoons, selling them, and using the money to send food to Burpovia. So how about it? Have you got any spare spoons?”

The woman peered at him for a few seconds then said, “I don’t think so. We need all our spoons for our guests.”

“Fine. If you’re going to be miserly about it, we’ll be off,” said Greg.

He gestured to the other two and marched off towards the rear of the hotel. “Did you see that?” he said when Lewis and Susie caught up. “She couldn’t have cared less about the people in Burpovia.”

“There’s no such place,” Lewis objected.

“Of course there is,” said Greg. “You should pay more attention in geography.”

Susie chuckled. “Oh, Greg, the things you
say
.”

Lewis shook his head. “Where are we going?”

“Do you not remember when Dad took us all here for lunch?
There’s a back door we can use. Just in case Loki has a snowman hanging about out front.”

As they emerged from the back of the hotel they faced the full blast of the icy wind sweeping across the golf course from the sea.

“See, there’s the Swilken Bridge there,” said Greg pointing a gloved finger. The bridge was just an arch of snow now surrounded by more snow.

“That’s where Dad says Loki found his magic box,” said Lewis. “But what was it doing there in the first place?”

“Beats me,” said Greg, striking out past a row of golf shops.

Lewis and Susie fell in behind him. “Should we not call the government or the army?” asked Susie as they turned the corner into North Street.

“And tell them what?” said Greg. “That there are gods or aliens or monsters on the streets of St Andrews and they’re the ones that are making it snow?”

“I see your point,” said Susie. “It’s at times like this you wish you had Dr Who’s phone number.”

“If only we knew what Loki was up to,” said Lewis.

“Last time he was here he was pretty much trying to take over the world,” Greg recalled.

“That’s standard for aliens, taking over the world,” said Susie grimly. “Their own planet’s always dying or something.”

“We need to come up with a plan,” said Greg.

“That’s going to be hard seeing as we’ve no idea what we’re doing,” said Lewis.

“That’s the point, Lewis. Once we have a plan we’ll know what we’re doing. Try to be positive.”

Lewis frowned in thought. “Well, I suppose, once we get
home I could look through those books of Norse mythology I’ve got. And maybe we can find out something about Larry O’Keefe on the internet.”

“Now you’re thinking like a boss,” Greg complimented him. “I’ll see if I can rig up a flamethrower to take care of any ice monsters.”

“A flamethrower?” said Susie sceptically. “Greg, you nearly blew yourself up fiddling with your mum’s coffee maker.”

“This is different,” said Greg. “I’m in war mode now.”

“Maybe we can shelve the flamethrower until things get desperate,” suggested Lewis.

“At this rate,” said Susie, slogging through the snow, “it’s going to take us all day to get back to your place.”

“You’re right,” Lewis agreed. “This is a nightmare. And it doesn’t seem to slow Loki down at all.”

“He probably comes from an ice planet,” said Susie. “That would explain a lot.”

She broke off short as up ahead a pair of headlights stabbed through the gloom and a 4x4 Land Rover came into view.

“That’s my dad!” exclaimed Susie. She waved her hockey stick over her head and yelled, “Hey, Dad! Over here!”

The vehicle pulled up and the passenger door swung open. Susie dived into the front and the boys got in back. Mr Spinetti had the heater on and it was a relief to be in the warm.

“What are you doing here?” Susie asked.

“Looking for you,” answered Mr Spinetti as the car started moving again. “We tried phoning but the network’s all messed up.”

Greg slipped out his phone and confirmed that it wasn’t working.

“You were supposed to be chucking snowballs around on Bannock Street,” Mr Spinetti continued. “What are you doing down here?”

“We got carried away,” said Susie. “You know what it’s like.”

“I don’t mind losing my kids in the Amazon jungle,” said Mr Spinetti, shifting gears, “but losing them in St Andrews would be embarrassing.”

Susie chortled. “You’ll not lose me that easy, Dad.”

“This weather is ludicrous,” said Mr Spinetti. “Most of the roads out of St Andrews are blocked already.”

“I suppose hockey camp will be cancelled,” said Susie glumly.

“Keep your fingers crossed,” said her dad. “Maybe it’ll all clear up by tomorrow.”

They passed a council snowplough, its yellow lights flashing as it struggled through the drifts. Nearby, some hardly soul was trying to clear his front path with a shovel. When they pulled up in front the McBride house in Bannock Street, the boys saw there was a layer of snow a foot deep on the roof and the windows glinted with frost. Because it was so dark outside, all the lights were switched on.

“Thanks for the ride, Mr Spinetti,” said Lewis and Greg as they climbed out.

Susie threw open her door as well. “I’ll stay here with the boys,” she said. “We could get back to our game of Star Blaster 3.”

“I told your mum I’d bring you home,” said Mr Spinetti.

“You don’t want me sitting around our house being bored, do you?” Susie challenged him.

Lewis saw the side of her dad’s mouth twitch as though at an unpleasant memory. “No, I definitely don’t want that. You’ll stay
put at the McBrides’ though?”

“Where else can I go in this?” said Susie, gesturing at the weather.

Inside, the heating was on full blast and it was as warm as toast. They all stripped off their coats and hats and trooped up to Lewis’ room.

“I’ll handle the online search,” said Susie, plonking herself down at the desk. There was a bar of chocolate next to the mouse mat. She pounced on it and wolfed it down while the computer started up.

Greg stood over her, watching the screen. “You might have shared that,” he complained.

“Too slow, Greg, too slow.” Susie grabbed the mouse and clicked on an icon. She clicked again and again then shoved the mouse aside with a grunt. “It’s no use. Your broadband’s down.”

She swivelled the chair round to face Lewis, who was sitting on the bed leafing through a book of Norse legends.

“You’re wasting your time with those fairy stories,” she told him.

“There’s a lot of truth in these old myths,” Lewis insisted, without looking up.

“He’s right,” Greg agreed. “We’ve seen it with our own eyes.”

“Honestly, you two are that gullible,” scoffed Susie. “I mean, ask yourselves which is more likely: that this guy with the ginger beard is a magical god from some ancient fantasy land or that he’s an alien using a superior technology? Like when they ran into Apollo on that episode of Star Trek.”

“At the end of the day, it doesn’t make much difference,” said Greg. “We need to get an edge. Let’s go talk to Dad again. Maybe Loki let something slip while they were playing golf.”

Downstairs, they found Mum in the living room watching the news.

“The BBC news is the only channel that’s not breaking up,” she said. “It looks like I’m going to miss tonight’s episode of
The Inspector Golightly Mysteries
.”

On the TV a reporter was talking to the camera. The caption below said he was in Strathkinness, just outside St Andrews. Behind him was a swirling cloud of white where St Andrews should have been.

“All roads in and out of the town are now completely blocked,” the reporter said, “and all efforts by the emergency services to break through have failed. With me here is the climatologist Dr Oscar Blintz, author of the book
Climate Change and the Way We Live
.”