This Time Around (Maybe) (7 page)

“About before
−”

He cuts me off. “You mean you parading your latest fuck around the building?”

I gape. “You hypocritical asshole! You’ve fucked everything with a pulse, but I can’t bring one guy to my apartment?” Okay, totally getting off track here. But the nerve of him!

“I haven’t had anyone since you returned
, Taiya,” he says, sitting down opposite me. “But nice to see you were keeping tabs on me.”

“So what? You want a
Husband of the Year Award or something?”

His expression darkens, his jaw ticking. “Heaven forbid you say something nice about me.”

“Oh, I said something nice about you at the door when I was drooling over your body,” I blurt out, not looking directly at him.

“See something you like, did you?” he asks, his tone laced with disdain.

“Are you… offended I was checking you out?” I ask, extremely fucking confused.

His lips tighten, and he pushes his blond hair off his face. “Why are you here?”

“I wanted to tell you about Scott,” I start.

“Look
, Taiya−”

“He’s a friend. Just a friend. He’s never even touched me, so stop with the jealous bullshit
, Ryan,” I get out, cutting off whatever he was going to say. He eyes me suspiciously, as if gauging if what I’m saying is the truth.

“You’ve never fucked him?”

“No,” I snap.

“Kissed him?”

“No, Ryan,” I answer patiently.

“He clearly want
s you,” he says, clenching his fists.

“He doesn’t want me, trust me. Just friends. So stop looking at me like I kicked your puppy.”

“Of course he wants you, Taiya. What man wouldn’t want you?” he says sweetly, and I instantly soften.

“Not everyone feels that way
, Ryan,” I say softly.

“Then they are blind.”

“Are we okay?” I ask, trying to stop my eyes from roaming down to his chest. Smooth, rippled, tanned skin. He’s so beautiful it almost hurts. The fact that so many women after me have seen this, have had this man even if only for a night, it hurts like nothing I’ve ever known.

He clears his throat. “Eyes up here
, wife.”

“Why? By law doesn’t all this belong to me?” I ask, instantly cursing myself for saying that. I seriously can’t control myself around this man. It’s always been that way.

“Interesting that you say that,” he says. As if taking that as permission, his eyes trail over my body for the first time tonight. “As your husband, I want no more males entering your apartment.”

“You’re kidding me?” I ask.

“Dead serious,” he says, his lips curving into a sly smirk.

“Scott’s a friend,” I say slowly.

“If he has a dick, he’s included,” he says nonchalantly.

“We’re getting divorced
. None of this matters.”

“That’s yet to be seen,” he says, studying me under his lashes.

I look around his apartment. “I bet these walls have a few stories to tell.”

“Actually
, the only woman who’s been in here, besides you, is Summer,” he throws back, grinning. Clearly happy with himself.

“So you must have moved in recently then,” I guess.

Probably just moved in a few days ago.

Silence. Bingo.

“Why did you fuck around so much?” I ask boldly. I need to know the answer to this.

He looks surprised at my question, at the fact that I just spoke about something important. Something addressing the past, something that I didn’t dodge. He sighs heavily, leaning back in his chair.

“You left me. I was pissed. I was hurt. My heart was ripped open
, Taiya. You obviously didn’t give a shit, since you bailed, so I did what I had to do to distract myself.” He looks straight into my eyes. Green clashing with blue. “I’m not proud, or anything like that. It was just my life without you in it.”

“Is that what you thought?”

“What?”

“That I didn’t give a shit
. That’s why I left? I left because I loved you so much and you destroyed me. You broke me, Ryan.” I needed this reminder. I can’t let myself lower my guard around him again. He’s my weakness. He hurt me once. Who’s to say he won’t do it a second time? Am I that desperate for him that I’m willing to give him control over my heart again? I might not be able to heal myself the second time around. I can’t run again. I won’t let myself.

With that, I stand up and walk out of his apartment, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

Chapter Eight

Ryan

You broke me
, Ryan.

Her words from last night
play in my head. This whole situation is so fucked up. How do two people come back from this? Is it true that sometimes love isn’t enough? I remember that night like it was yesterday. I was messed up, so fucking messed up. I had just visited my father in prison. I don’t know why I went. He’d been calling for years, but Reid and I never went to see him. The last night I had seen him was the night he gave Reid that scar. It was also the night we lost our mother. I went to the prison looking for answers, looking for… something. Redemption from something I’d been carrying around for a long time. Guilt. Something I’d always dealt with, something that made me feel like I wasn’t worthy. Like I was a coward.

I left the prison feeling ten times worse than when I walked in. I should have listened to Reid, but I didn’t.
And then I fucked it up, and lost my wife. I could use many different excuses. I was young. I’d never been with another woman besides Taiya, and the list could go on. But the truth was I fucked up. Plain and simple.

“What’s with the long face?” Summer asks as she cuts limes into slices.

“Just thinking.”

“About
Taiya?” she asks, putting the knife down and giving me her full attention. I nod, scrubbing my hands over my face. It’s come to the point where we either need to talk, and work on our marriage, or just let it go and move on with our lives. I won’t accept the latter, until I’ve tried my hardest at the former.

“Yeah, we spoke for a little last night,” I tell her, washing my hands in the sink and taking over the cutting.

“You ever going to tell me what exactly happened between the two of you?” she asks in a soft voice. I look out over the bar for a distraction, but the place is empty. We don’t open for another hour.

“Anything she throws my way I deserve
. Let’s put it that way.” And then some.

“Ryan,” she whispers, trying to get me to look at her but I can’t. “Everyone makes mistakes.” Summer forgave Reid for whatever shit he pulled, but this situation is different. I’m not Reid and
Taiya isn’t Summer. I don’t answer Summer; I’m living in my head and blocking out the world. When Reid arrives with River, I instantly feel better.

“How long do you have him for?” I ask Reid as I lift River in my arms and kiss his chubby little cheek.

“He’s staying the night at ours.”

“Mia’s letting him?” I ask, surprised. Mia normally lets us have River for a few
hours max. She’s such a bitch. Not that I’d ever say that in front of River.

“Yeah. Mia has a date,” he says, telling me with one look all I need to know. Mia want
s to get laid, so River is spending the night at Reid’s. Not that I’m complaining, I love the little guy.

“Oh
, well, our gain,” I say, ruffling River’s hair. “We better get out of here before the bar opens.”

“You want to come to ours?” Reid asks.

“Yeah, I’ll wait until Tag gets here then I’ll come around.” I hand River over to Reid.

“Okay
, see you then,” my brother says, leaving with Summer and River. Tag arrives half an hour later, and we shoot the shit for a little before I take off.

*****

“Where the hell has Dash been lately?” I ask Reid. We’re all sitting in his lounge room, watching cartoons and eating snacks with River. Summer pulled out a whole set of blocks, and other toys to keep him entertained.

“Sorting his sisters out, and working.” Shit, I need to drop by his house and see if there’s anything I can do to help. Dash has four young
er sisters, and does practically everything for them. I can’t even imagine what that must be like for him.

“I spoke to him yesterday,”
Summer adds, earning a scowl from Reid, which she chooses to ignore.

“And?”

“Yeah, he’s just been busy. Said he will drop by this week sometime,” she says, popping a grape into River’s mouth. Summer’s going to make an amazing mother someday.

“When’s dinner going to be ready? I’m starving.”

“Does Taiya cook?” Summer asks, not answering my question. Reid and I burst out laughing.

“
Taiya can’t even fry an egg.”

Summer frowns, like she doesn’t like the idea of me not being fed.
“Don’t worry you can always come here and I’ll cook for you.”

“I plan on it,” I say, pulling her close and kissing her on the cheek sloppily.

“Yuck!” she complains, wiping her cheek with her hand.

“Yuck!” River repeats. We all look at him and grin.
He’s fucking adorable; he really is.

“No, really. When’s dinner going to be ready
?” I ask my future sister-in-law. Summer laughs and walks into the kitchen. Reid throws me a ‘leave my woman alone’ dirty look. I flash him a wide smile. He throws a pillow at me, which I dodge, and it almost hits a lamp.

“
What was going on with you today?” he asks, getting straight to the point.

“Nothing,” I lie.

“Summer said you zoned out. What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asks, looking concerned. Why does he always make me feel so much younger than him?

“Just trying to sort through some things with
Taiya,” I tell him, being vague.

“I’m always here if you want to talk about it.”

“I know, and thank you. I suppose I have Summer to thank for you growing a vagina?” I joke, moving the subject away from me.

Summer chooses that moment to walk in
, carrying a tray. “Oh, so a man shows a little emotion and it’s a chick thing?”

“No.” Yes.
“What do you have there?” I ask, peering up at the tray. She puts it in the centre of the table, and I see cheese, crackers, and cold cuts.

“Reid has such good taste in women,” I tell her, ey
eing the food. Well, except for all the other women he dated before Summer. Summer wrinkles her nose, letting me know she’s thinking the same thing. “You’re right. He has bad taste; you’re the exception.”

“I’m sitting right here,” Reid growls, pulling
Summer onto his lap.

I shield River’s eyes. “Keep it PG people!”

The doorbell rings, and Reid gets up to answer the door.

“Are you expecting anyone?” I ask Summer. She shakes her head no. A few seconds later, Xander walks inside, grinning widely. “What’s for dinner, sis?”

Chapter
Nine

“Hello,” I say when the redhead answers the door.

“Right, the husband,” she smirks. “Hello, come on in.” With that, she walks away, leaving the door wide open. I step into their apartment and close it behind me. Walking into their kitchen, I find Isis now sitting on the countertop, eating cereal.

“She’s in her room. First door on the right,” she says just before she lifts the bowl to her mouth to drink the remaining milk.

I flash her a smile and then turn in the direction she pointed, stopping in front of the first door. I knock, entering when I hear her yell, “Come in!”

“Oh
, my God!” she shrieks as I walk in on her standing at the end of her bed in nothing but a towel. My eyes devour the smooth bronzed skin on her bare shoulders. “What are you doing?” she asks, hiking the towel up. It gives me a glimpse of her toned thigh. I try to discreetly adjust my now hard cock, but she notices the movement immediately, and her eyes narrow.

“You told me to come in,” is
all I can manage to say.

“I said I’m coming, not come in,” she growls. Droplets of water run down her arms, and I find myself suddenly feeling extremely thirsty. What would
n’t I give to lick those off her. I notice her eyes widen, as if she suddenly remembered something, and then she slowly steps closer to the bed.

“Okay, you need to leave. Wait in the living room, please,” she begs. It’s her use of the word ‘please’ that has me instantly suspicious.
My eyes give her a once over before moving to the bed. It’s then that I see what she didn’t want me to. I glance over at her, amused, chuckling when she turns red.

“I could take care of that for you, you know,” I tell her, gesturing towards the
hot pink vibrator.

“Someone kill me,” I hear her mutter under her
breath.