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Authors: Jessica Thompson

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Men turned their heads as she darted through the crowds of people standing around on the street. She was attracting quite a lot of

attention, so I felt very proud when she ran up and flung her arms around me like she hadn’t seen me for years. She smelled lovely.

Her hair smelled delicious – I wanted to bury my face in it. But no, that wasn’t how I was supposed to think any more, so I quickly

pushed those thoughts out of my head.

‘Now, Sienna, look up there,’ I said when I had finally prised her off my chest, and pointed to the big cinema-style letters above

the concert venue. I was standing behind her with both hands on her shoulders.

There it was, in bold black lettering: J.O.H.N L.E.G.E.N.D L.I.V.E T.O.N.I.G.H.T

She opened her mouth and covered her face with her hands. Wow, she was really touched by this. I’d thought she might figure

out what I’d planned and spoil the surprise, but her reaction seemed quite genuine.

‘Oh my God, Nick, thank you so much,’ she said, holding my hands and flashing that megawatt smile in my direction again.

‘Come on, then,’ I said, pulling her towards the entrance and extending a leg Basil Fawlty style.

As we walked, she gave me a kiss on the cheek. A short, sweet, ‘thank you, friend’ kiss on the cheek. I wanted to peel it off my

face and stick it in a frame.

An impatient woman tore our tickets in half and ushered us through the double doors and into the circular darkness of the venue.

The stage was illuminated with blue and green lights. It was so exciting.

We made our way to the bar where I flinched as I paid three times over the odds for a flat beer and a watered-down glass of wine.

A famous DJ I’ve never even heard of was the warm-up act, swamping the room with beats and bass as it filled with chattering

people; he was playing a host of hip-hop tunes, which I recognised but knew none of the words to. I suddenly felt old. Sienna,

however, was mouthing each and every line. Moving her body gently to the beat of the music. It was so good to see her happy and

relaxed.

‘How’s George?’ I shouted above the buzz, squinting as a strobe light was tested right in my line of vision.

‘Not great, Nick. He’s been a lot worse lately. They’ve changed his medication and it isn’t going so well. That’s why I had to

make sure his friend could keep an eye on him tonight because he can’t be properly alone at the moment.’ She stood on her tiptoes to

see the stage as it was being set up. Five members of staff dressed all in black were plugging wires into various sockets and tapping

on microphones.

I held her hand and pulled her through to a spot very close to the front. ‘I’m sorry, Si. Is there anything I can do?’

I realised the absurdity of the comment as soon as I made it. Of course there was nothing I could do. I was about as useful as a

chocolate fireguard. I wished there was something I could do to make things better.

‘No, no. There isn’t anything, thanks. Although he would like to see you soon. He’s investigating human sense disorders at the

moment – you know, people who can taste colour, smell sound and all that . . .’ She rolled her eyes affectionately.

‘I’m sure that can be arranged.’

After we’d been standing around for an hour listening to the DJ, Mr Legend finally came out. He was wearing a skinny grey suit

and looked so good, I think every man in the room cringed in unison while their girlfriends swooned. Why would you take your

girlfriend to one of his gigs?

There was a glossy black piano in the middle of the stage, waiting and wishing, like most of the women in the room, for the

soulster to run his expert hands all over it. A small gospel choir was revealed at the back of the stage as a curtain rose. They had

those wholesome smiles you only ever see on people who sing their cares away at the crack of dawn every Sunday, as opposed to

lying in bed with a filthy hangover.

The room went quiet and he pulled up his stool, playing the first note of the night. It reverberated through the sound system

perfectly. I knew this was going to be mind-blowing. Sienna was so excited she could barely contain herself. The music gave me the

same warm feeling inside that I get when I am with Sienna. The two combined were setting my heart on fire.

Halfway through the third song Sienna’s hand brushed against mine and I thought for a second she was going to hold it. I

panicked momentarily before realising it was just an accident. This really wasn’t getting any easier. After going to the bar for the

second time, I thought it might be a good opportunity to ask how things had been going with Ben.

‘Oh fine, thanks, yeah,’ she whispered into my ear, keeping her eyes firmly on the stage.

‘Just fine?’ I asked quietly, horribly aware that the music could go quiet at any moment, leaving me shouting out across the room.

‘Well. It’s a bit difficult. He seems to have some fairly serious family problems I didn’t know about, and instead of letting me help

him, he’s shutting me out. He just seems a bit distant sometimes and I don’t understand why he won’t talk to me about it, because

you know, I might be able to help,’ she finished, her eyes squinting in the glittering lights.

Distant? How anyone could keep any kind of distance from Sienna was beyond me.

‘I’m sure he’ll be back to his old self soon,’ I responded positively.

She nodded silently and I couldn’t help but notice how stunning her profile was.

I was trying really hard to be positive about this. I wanted Sienna to be happy, and Ben was by far the closest I had seen a man get

to making her happy. The others, quite frankly, had been a disaster. Turning up late for birthdays, calling her the wrong name (no

joke, she got called Fiona once), being too young and selfish . . .

We went back to watching the gig when something mortifying happened. I mean genuinely, really, deeply embarrassing.

‘So, this next song is for all the people in love,’ came the smooth voice of Mr Legend as he addressed the crowd, his hands

hovering above the ivory keys in front of him. ‘Y’all tell me if you’re in love right now, Brixton!’ he shouted, rising from the piano

until he was standing in the centre of the stage.

The heat coming from the lights was creating small beads of sweat on his skin as the crowed roared out. Oh, come on, surely not

everyone in this room was in love with someone, were they? Ridiculous.

Sienna and I stayed quiet, which I guess was a bad thing, looking back. He held the mike casually in his right hand. If I’d been up

there I’d probably have started trembling like a leaf and just stood there in terror-induced silence under the spotlight while people

threw their drinks at me.

‘So for my final song, I want to sing this to some people in love. Do you think I can find two people who love each other in this

room?’ he cried, waving his arms in the air. More people screamed. One woman near the front fainted.

God, he was cool, I thought. Why can’t I be a bit more cool? Then my thoughts were interrupted.

‘You, over there in the blue shirt, I want you to come up here,’ the singer said, crouching down at the front of the stage and

smiling at some poor sod who was about to be hauled on to the stage.

Unlucky git, I thought smugly. Then: that’s funny, he’s pointing in my direction. I’m wearing a blue shirt too. Holy shit . . .

‘Yeah, you, c’mon!’ he said once more.

All of a sudden the crowd parted and it was just Sienna and I standing in isolation, our mouths wide open like farm animals

selected for the slaughter. The rest of the herd turned and stared at us, smiling and whooping.

‘No, no, you don’t understand, she’s not my . . .’ I tried to speak but my voice was a mere squeak. Butterflies swamped my chest

and my legs turned to mush. Oh no, I was going to faint like a girl, wasn’t I? I could see my face fill the large screen to the side of

the stage, the camera pointing straight at me. They were filming this too? Shit. Shit. Shit.

‘Come on fella, now don’t be shy,’ said Legend one more time in his heavy American drawl, the enterprising smile still plastered

across his face.

Next thing I knew, two security guards were ushering me towards the stage. Oh bollocks. I thrashed my arms around towards

Sienna who was standing there, smiling, both hands to her face as if she was praying. Thanks a lot, Si. I’m going to need a prayer

now. She was getting further and further away.

‘Guys, guys,’ I frantically whispered to the guards, trying in a terribly British way not to cause a scene. ‘You don’t understand,

she isn’t my g—’

‘Oh, chill out, mate,’ said one of them, laughing to the other. I couldn’t work out which one of them had the shinier skull. It was

like being led to my own execution by two men built like oak trees with bowling balls for heads.

As I was led to the left-hand side of the stage where the steps were, we marched past what seemed like dozens of people all

clapping and smiling and waiting for something really romantic to happen. Well, they could sod off. I have a girlfriend, Sienna has a

boyfriend, this is all just a big mistake.

I realised something deeply humiliating was going to occur and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Yup. I, Nick

Redland, was about to be pulled up on stage in front of thousands of people and filmed making an utter twat of myself. And I’d paid

for this. I had paid for my own humiliation. Brilliant.

I have always feared the whole going onstage thing since I was picked out at the circus at the age of five and promptly threw up

all over a clown’s lap. It was awful.

We reached the stairs.

One. Two. Three. Four. Stage.

‘Ah, here he is,’ said Mr Legend as he walked towards me and took my arm gently. Everyone clapped. Gosh he was handsome.

‘What’s your name, bro?’ he asked before turning the microphone towards my quivering mouth. I wanted to bite it so it would

stop working, but that would have been a bit weird. I’d have definitely ended up in the papers for that. I imagined a picture of me on

the front page, a mouth full of metal and blood, frayed wire poking out from between my lips.

‘Nick,’ I replied moodily.

‘Well, everyone, this is Nick. Say hello to Nick.’

The whole crowd shouted my name back to him. Oh shit. They knew my name now and everything.

He pulled me in front of the piano and kneeled down towards the people gathered below him, his eyes scanning back to where we

had been standing.

‘Now that lady there, in the black T-shirt and jeans, is your girl, right?’ he asked, pointing towards Sienna who was probably also

soiling herself.

A huge spotlight swung across the audience, making her the centre of attention and plunging my frantic head-shaking into inky,

unnoticed darkness. Damn it.

I mopped my brow quickly and whispered in his ear, ‘Mate, there’s been a mistake, she’s just a—’ and would you believe it, I

was interrupted again.

‘What’s your name, beautiful?’ he asked, holding his right hand to his ear.

Her mouth was still open and she stared at him in fear and wonder. Speak, Sienna! Speak! Tell him we’re just friends, for God’s

sake. I was hoping I could transmit these messages to her telepathically.

‘I can’t hear you,’ said Legend, looking a little panicked that he might have chosen the most socially inept non-couple in the room.

‘Sienna!’ she shouted out, shrugging her shoulders at me.

‘Now, Nick, I’m going to play this next one for you and Sienna.’ His face was very close to mine now.

This was being filmed for his live DVD, which would be for sale all over the world. The globe. That would mean people in

China, Canada, Africa, France would be able to watch me, onstage, wondering if it might be possible to pack my own body into a

suitcase and carry myself off. A fake smile spread across my face.

‘Sienna, come up here, girl!’ he yelled, raising both arms towards the blistering lights.

Oh no. It actually gets worse. I saw the heavies buzz towards her and ‘help’ her onto the stage. Within a minute she was standing

next to me in front of the whole world, with her arm around my waist. I was sweating. Heavily. People were cheering.

Chloe and Ben were probably going to see this. Someone would post a copy through my gran’s door, and after finally working

out how to operate a DVD player, she would immediately assume I was a cheating bastard and never talk to me again.

‘So, here we have some love in the house,’ said Legend, walking slowly towards the grand piano, leaving us clutching each other

and trembling.

The crowd roared. There were whistles and shouts and more fainting women. My head felt very light, as if it were a little balloon

about to roll off my shoulders.

‘We’re here to celebrate love, y’all. This is what my music is all about, so let’s give it up for Nick and Sienna,’ he grinned,

apparently genuinely believing that she and I were a couple as he started to play the first notes.

A proper couple that slept next to each other every night, packed lunches together in the morning and shared showers. A proper

couple that did the love thing.

Sienna squeezed me tight around my waist and whispered in my ear, ‘OK, Nick. This is obviously very bad. Very, very bad. But

there’s nothing we can do. So let’s just roll with it, OK?’

She turned to smile at me, with those eyes, those cheeks and those teeth, and I suddenly felt like everything was all right. I wanted

to kiss her, there, in front of everyone. She was much braver than me, definitely.

‘This one’s not just for Nick and Sienna, it’s for all of you who love somebody. So one by one, I want couples to join our friends

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