This is a Love Story (36 page)

Twelve

I wished someone could take a picture.

Nick

It was green. The most beautiful shade of green I have ever seen in my life. A shade that reminded me of deep, painful, all-consuming envy. It was more than a colour, it was a feeling. An urge. And this colour was draped all over Sienna, touching her curves like the hand of an insatiable lover and dripping down her body like a waterfall. Jesus Christ.

Now
that
was a dress. I wondered where the hell she’d got it from. I’d been dragged around Oxford Street with Chloe enough times to know they don’t sell stuff like this in the chain stores. My eyes did that slowing-down thing they do sometimes when she walks into a room. I’d always thought it was a crappy film effect,
but it does actually happen.

It was our Christmas party. It was a tacky affair, which usually resulted in at least one drunken kiss between people who ended up deeply regretting it, and at least one precarious display of terrible dad-style dancing on a rickety table. In fact, last year Nigel from sales ended up with a cast on his leg from doing just that. The table wasn’t so lucky. It’s a hideous annual event that sees everyone at The Cube get pissed together and pretend they like each other, whisper all sorts of things over the table and get in major trouble for it the following Monday.

This time everyone’s attention was stolen because Sienna had arrived wearing the dress that made us all want to get her into bed. Men and women. And the dress seemed very much out of place in this restaurant attached to a budget hotel. But it didn’t matter. I think everyone was pleased she’d decided to wear it. I’d never seen it before, and I’ve seen most of her ‘going out’ dresses. I wonder where it came from.

Sienna is twenty-four now, and she’s stunning. She just seems to get better and better. It’s as if everything that happens in her life, good and bad, just adds to her beauty. I nearly choked on my beer when she walked in with Ben; he was holding her hand tightly and looked exceptionally nervous. He was running his free hand awkwardly down the side of his blazer and glancing down at his shoes a lot. They were nice shoes, too . . . I expect Si picked them out. There’s no way a man would select a pair of kicks like that without the help of a woman.

He’s a good-looking boy, is Ben, and we’ve got on pretty well on the few occasions we’ve met. He’s a big improvement on the loser she last went out with, Daniel House. I’d rather pull each and every one of my body hairs out with blunt tweezers than spend another minute in his company . . . Ben was wearing a white shirt with a black skinny tie and a black suit. Together they looked like they were on their way to a film premiere. They looked far too good for this tinsel-clad function room off the M25, and the hotel where we were all about to spend the night.

This place was about as glamorous as my grandma’s dentures. Faded red tissue paper was spread over all twelve tables. They were covered in half-hearted decorations, which looked like they’d come from the local pound shop, including party poppers, cheap-looking crackers and confetti in the shape of various festive symbols. In the middle of each table were two cheap bottles of wine – one white, one red – and a tired-looking flower arrangement. A small DJ booth was set up on the far side of the room, which I expected would soon be pumping out the greatest hits of Wham! accompanied by some out-of-sequence disco lights.

Looking at Sienna and Ben standing in the doorway as people clucked around them, I felt like I’d turned up in my pyjamas, despite the setting. I looked down at my trousers and spotted a tiny stain where I’d managed to slop some beer on my lap. Bollocks.

‘What are you looking at, sweetheart?’ asked Chloe, thrusting her face in my line of vision as she returned from the toilet.

I jumped. ‘Oh, nothing. Sienna’s just arrived with Ben, look,’ I said casually, as if I’d only just spotted her when actually I’d been staring at her for ages. Ben must literally wake up every day and pinch himself.

Chloe looked good too, I thought, as she sat down and started gulping down a glass of wine far too fast.

‘Easy, Chlo,’ I said, hoping we wouldn’t be in for any drama tonight. She was particularly dangerous when she was drinking. As I looked across the table she sat there with a look of mock guilt on her face, in a nude dress that made her seem a lot more angelic than she is. It was a corset number, which she was wearing with a pair of heels that showed off the muscles in her calves when she walked in front of me. It drove me wild. She’s trouble, just like all the other girls.

I’ve had a string of unstable girlfriends and she’s the latest in what’s becoming a worryingly long list. What with Amelia’s crying on my doorstep – a sound which still haunts me sometimes – and Kate, who needed me to be her confidence when she’d lost her own, I thought about whether I had been paying attention to the wrong people. Yes, since she moved in I’m truly beginning to understand just how unstable Chloe is. I seem to be a magnet for women like this. That slap around the face all those months ago was nothing. It was just an appetiser.

We have these arguments, these rows that involve yelling at each other like crazed animals into the early hours of the morning. And then there’s the sex, the crazy ‘I love you’, ‘I’m so sorry’, ‘Let’s never fall out again’ sex. The biting, the scratching, the kissing . . . It’s complete madness. It’s exhausting. I don’t know if I can take any more of it. She’s jealous, possessive, insecure and angry, but she’s beautiful, caring, loving and funny too. She’s a double-edged sword. Sweet and sour. Completely bloody bonkers.

‘Nick, why are you looking at me like that?’ she asked. She slowly and seductively licked the tip of her knife, which had a tiny bit of pâté on it from the pre-dinner nibbles laid out on our table.

‘Oh, just ’cause you’re beautiful,’ I responded, gently pulling her blade-wielding hand towards the cheap crackers and word-processed menus before she split her tongue like a serpent. She visibly melted a little, and ran her hand up my trouser leg under the tablecloth.

‘Fuck’s sake, Chloe – stop it!’ I whispered playfully, squeezing her hand tight and lurching forwards because it tickled. A candle tipped in the middle of the table and I grabbed hold of it just in time, splashing wax all over my plate.

After Sienna had done the royal parade, shaking everyone’s hands and introducing Ben to them, she eventually came to our table. ‘Hello, Wolfie,’ she said, leaning down and kissing me softly on the cheek with a silly smile on her face.

The scent of her wafted down and rendered me speechless for a few seconds before I pulled myself together and stood up to shake Ben’s hand. She and Chloe kissed each other on the cheek and soon we were sitting side by side with delicate bowls of leek and potato soup in front of us.

Chloe kept licking her spoon suggestively whenever people were looking down at their food. I kicked her shin gently in the hope she would stop. She was embarrassing me.

‘So, how are things with work?’ Ben asked Chloe and me, smiling knowingly like everyone does when they find out how we met. They must think it’s awkward. They’re right. I’m just so glad we work in different departments – cohabiting and working directly together would drive me insane.

‘They’re fine, thanks. And we’re really enjoying living together, too,’ I responded, pulling a slice of bread from a basket in the middle of the table.

That was a little bit of a lie. It had started really well, true, but now I couldn’t escape her mood swings. There was nowhere to hide. On occasion I would come home to find her in a delightful mood, full of joy and love. At other times I wondered if we would make it through the night . . .

‘Do you think you guys will live together soon?’ Chloe asked, directing her question at Sienna.

I winced a little. It was a bit like asking how much they earned or if they were planning to try for children. You just didn’t do that kind of thing, but it was totally Chloe.

‘Er, well. Er, I don’t know,’ Sienna responded, as if it was the first time the idea had been mentioned.

Ben intercepted: ‘Well, it’s probably a bit soon, really, isn’t it?’ he said, turning to look at Sienna, who seemed to visibly thank God. I couldn’t help but notice how sharp and blunt his response was. Maybe they were just a smart couple taking their time. I wish we had, I thought as I looked at Chloe, who was blowing gently on a spoonful of soup and somehow smiling at me at the same time. Still, she was so sexy. Maybe it would work out . . .

Another bottle of wine arrived at the table, which was promptly shared out. It seemed as though the alcohol was getting to Sienna even before the second course had arrived. She had that relaxed look about her eyes and a pink flush to her cheeks.

‘Nick, do you remember that time we went to Amsterdam?’ she asked, leaning towards me and smiling, her gorgeous straight teeth almost dazzling me as I started to cut into my roast turkey.

‘Yes, I certainly do,’ I responded with a grin, memories flooding back. Chloe flashed her insecure look at me. I ignored it.

‘Well, you know that weird guy we met? You know, the one who said he was travelling the world, meeting couples and writing love stories about the people he spoke to who particularly inspired him?’

‘Let me guess – he’s writing about you and Nick?’ interrupted Ben, with a smirk on his face. I jerked my head back in shock.

Chloe’s mouth dropped open and Sienna scowled at him. He looked hideously embarrassed almost as soon as the words had escaped his mouth. A crimson shade took over his cheeks.

‘No, Ben. What I was actually going to say was that his book’s been published. I’ve seen it online.’ She seemed to brush off the comment like it was nothing, but I knew we were all very humiliated by it. I wondered if we could recover. How could I talk to Ben normally? It was clear that he had an issue, and now darkness had clouded Chloe’s face, too. There was radio silence, so I decided to break it.

‘I’m sorry,’ I said, turning to Ben, who was sitting next to me. ‘Why did you say that? What were you getting at?’

He tilted his head down towards his dinner and took a breath. My heart seemed to stop in my chest as I realised that this could escalate and I wasn’t quite prepared for it.

‘I’m sorry, mate, I don’t know what’s wrong with me at the moment. Chloe, I apologise. I honestly don’t know why I said it. Sienna, I’m sorry,’ he finished, shrugging his shoulders like he’d accidentally taken my napkin or used his dessert fork too soon. A minor slip.

‘No problem. Just as long as everything’s OK,’ I said, looking at Chloe to reassure her. I genuinely wanted all this shit to end now; it felt like I’d only just managed to convince Chloe that Sienna and I weren’t having some kind of affair.

The chatter from the tables around us seemed to grow louder at this point; I could hear crackers being pulled and loud shrieks of laughter. I hoped the energy of the room would dissolve the hideousness of that moment. A Brussels sprout came sailing through the air and hit me on the back of the head. I didn’t even need to look because it was obviously thrown by Tom, but I was quite glad of the distraction. I picked it up from the floor and threatened him with it across the room, laughing to myself as I turned round.

‘Well, Sienna, between you and me, I think there might be quite a big job coming up soon,’ said Chloe, leaning towards Si and smiling at her. A perfect subject change. That’s my girl.

‘Really? Tell me more,’ replied Sienna, mopping up the gravy on her plate with some bread.

‘I think Sarah – you know, the editor of
SparkNotes
? I think she might be leaving in a few months, but you have to keep that to yourself . . .’ She had significantly lowered her tone by now.

As the two of them chatted, I took the opportunity to talk to Ben. ‘Are you sure everything’s OK, pal?’ I asked, taking a bold step. I still couldn’t get over what he’d just said. Sienna had always made out like he didn’t care about our friendship at all, so his comment had come as a bit of a shock.

‘I don’t know,’ he said quietly, leaning forward like the weight of the world was balanced on his shoulders. Oh shit. Here it comes.

‘My dad’s not well, Nick. Really not well, mentally. It’s all getting a bit much, if I’m honest. I keep ending up saying crazy stuff like that, you know – having a go at people when they haven’t done anything wrong. I feel alone. I can’t imagine that anyone could understand,’ he said.

I admired that about him. His honesty. I could see why Sienna liked him.

‘I’m really sorry to hear that. I know what it’s like when you’re that stressed, you just get wound up by little things,’ I said, trying to comfort him in some way.

He leaned close to me now and lowered his voice, keeping his eye on the girls the whole time. ‘I’m not treating her right. I just can’t be everywhere at the same time. I don’t feel like I’m good enough for her at the moment.’

I flinched a little, glancing over to Chloe and Sienna, hoping they couldn’t hear. Wow. Now
this
was honesty. And a huge responsibility on my part. Anything I said at this point could have a marked impact on my best friend’s future.

I looked over at her in The Dress, which plunged at the neck, revealing her delicate collarbone. She was laughing with Chloe, playing with a strand of hair. They were both engaged in their conversation.

‘Right, OK . . . Well, I don’t want to say the wrong thing. What are you going to do?’ I asked, whispering so quietly it was barely audible. For a moment we were eye to eye. I could almost see the fear in his pupils.

‘Leave her,’ he said, unblinking.

My blood ran cold. I quickly looked at Sienna in horror, praying to God she hadn’t heard what he’d said, but she and Chloe were still engrossed. I shuffled awkwardly in my seat and tried to look inconspicuous. I wanted to grab hold of his shoulders and shake some sense into him.
What are you thinking of, boy?
I felt guilty even though it wasn’t me saying the words. Like I was doing her wrong somehow just by hearing this.

‘What? Ben, no, come on. I’m sure you can work through this,’ I pleaded, hating the thought of her being hurt. Abandoned. Alone. ‘She really likes you, mate, come on.’ I was starting to beg now.