This Darkest Man (3 page)

My
mouth was dry and I couldn’t speak even though my mind screamed for him to move
his hands lower down to ease the throbbing down below.

“Speak
to me, Mattie.” He kissed my neck, sucking on my skin so I would be left with
red bruise tomorrow. “Tell me what you need.”

My
body arched back like it had a mind of its own, and I rubbed against his boxers
to feel him hard behind me.

“Speak,
Mattie. I won’t give you anything unless you ask for it,” he tormented, all the
while his hands kept massaging my breasts when all I wanted him to do was rip
away the intruding nightdress and feel my flesh.

“I
want…” I managed to say, nearly trembling. Although, it wasn’t shame or
embarrassment that I felt right then, it was a want that made me weak. I moved
my hands to grip at my crotch through the gown. “I want you here,” I said in a
hoarse voice.

He
met my eyes in the mirror, and grinned. His hand slid down to cover mine
between my legs and he rubbed my hand so that it was forced to stroke against
my already wet panties. I gave a slight moan at his more intense touch and I
began to move, resting my head against his chest as I did so. He kissed me as
he continued to massage me in a way that had ripples coursing through me. I
broke away from the kiss to look at my reflection. In the dim light I saw a
girl whose lips were swollen and red, eyes half closed in satisfaction, and my
hard nipples were clearly visible. This girl looked wanton, and she looked like
she was getting what she wanted.

“I’m
going to fuck you now, my hot little thing,” he whispered to me.

All
I could do was nod and he moved me to lean over the vanity, making me grip the
sides. “Don’t let go,” he whispered as he began to lift up my nightdress.
Everything he did was with a slow seduction that had me panting and wanting to
scream at him just to rip it off. He moved it up to expose my white silk and
lace panties. “Very pretty,” he murmured. He dragged them down, baring me, and
his hand snaked between my legs to begin stroking me. I thrust against his
hand, telling him that I wanted it harder, and he just chuckled. “You are an
impatient little thing, aren’t you?” But he did what I wanted, and I smiled.

He
reached into his toiletry bag that sat on the counter and drew out a condom,
only removing his hands from me for a second to put it on. He slowly entered me
from behind, and I was more than ready and dripping wet. He slid in with ease,
filling me up and making me feel deliciously satisfied. Then he began to
thrust, and I realized that I had never known what satisfaction was until right
at that moment. I leaned into him while his hand still played with my clit and
began to make low moans as I felt myself build up.

“Please,”
I begged.
Although I didn’t know what I was begging for because right then, I had
everything I wanted. My mind
turned blank and I couldn’t control the
things that came out of my mouth, it didn’t sound like me, but all these tantalizing
things that were happening were definitely taking
my
body to heights I’d
never imagined. I cried out as I came and trembled, panting and gasping as my
legs weakened. Only his secure hold kept me from collapsing to the ground in an
exhausted, well-fucked mess.

We
stayed like that, resting against him for support while I struggled to breathe
again. When I opened my eyes, I saw I had a wide smile on my face, my hair was
messed, and cheeks flushed. Then it hit me what I’d done. I’d just screwed a
stranger in my dead Aunt’s house.  I imagined her ghost standing beside me,
sneering at the juices running down my legs and the love bites on my neck.
“Like mother, like daughter,” she spat.

My
eyes widened, and I pushed Clay back from me. He slid out of me and stepped
back. “What’s wrong?”

I
couldn’t even look at him. “I—I have to go.” I ran from the bathroom for the
safety of my bedroom and slammed the door shut securely behind me before
retreating to my bed.

I
stayed up half the night, mulling over what I had done. No doubt Clay thought I
was a freak now, just like the rest of the world. Who the hell runs away after
having sex with the hottest guy they’d ever met? Matilda Larsen, that’s who.
Why couldn’t I just be normal for once? Josh used to call me frigid. Move your
ass, he’d say. Deep throat me, he’d order. And if I didn’t, or began to gag, he
would mock me for the rest of the week. I didn’t run away after those episodes,
all though I should have. So why did I run from Clay?

No
doubt Aunt Anna was having her desired effect.
Your mother’s a filthy whore,
spreading her legs for anyone; no doubt you’ll end up the same…
I shoved
the pillow over my head and tried to muffle those voices, but they had been
ingrained in my brain for years and it would take more than a thin pillow to
muffle them.

I
slept in late the next morning, and when I finally rose, I saw that Clay’s door
was open and that his bed was neatly made but there was no sign of him. I slunk
into the bathroom and stood under the shower as I tried to think about what I
would say when I saw him. Finally, after taking my time, I went downstairs.

The
mess of glass had been cleaned up and the floor was spotless, but Clay was
nowhere to be seen. I peered out the window and his bike was gone as well. I
sat at the kitchen table with my head in my hands. It was probably for the best
that he was gone anyway, but that didn’t make me feel any better. Then I heard
the roar of a motorbike outside and practically ran to the window. He was back.

I
sucked in a breath, before letting out a slight laugh, and then tried to calm
myself as I heard his footsteps. “Hey, you’re awake,” he greeted. “I went into
town to try and get cell phone reception.” He reached into his bag and pulled
out a loaf of bread. “Found a great bakery.” He placed it on the table and the
smell wafted to me. Then he busied himself grabbing a knife and plates before
he started to slice it. “I don’t know how you live here, being so isolated and
not even having a phone. It’s kind of like you’ve dropped off the planet until
you get over a few hills.”

I
bit into the bread that he gave me, still not sure what to say about last
night. He seemed to brush over it like nothing ever happened but then I noticed
him staring at me. “What?” I asked softly after I swallowed my mouthful.

A
small smile played on his lips. “At least I know that you can’t run far, not on
foot at least. I’m sure that I’d always be able to catch you.”

I
blushed and looked down. “About last night—”

“Don’t
worry about it. I’ve embarrassed you and I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention.”
I heard his chair scrape on the floor as he moved it to sit closer to me.
Without warning he grabbed my chair and moved it so I was facing him. I looked
up at him in alarm, and then that alarm turned to something else when he placed
his hands on my thighs. I was wearing jeans, and at that moment wished
desperately that I wearing something sheer and delicate which I could feel his
hands through. He leaned in close so that I could feel his hot breath on my cheek.
“You enjoyed it though. I know you did,” he murmured.

I
dared to look at him then. “Yes,” I whispered.

He
regarded me for a few moments more before saying, “There’s nothing wrong with
what we did, Mattie.”

“I
know. I know that. I’m not frigid or anything,” I said, more to myself than to
him, trying to wash away all the awful words that Josh had said.

“Oh,
I know that. You are definitely not frigid.” He brushed a strand of hair away
from my face. He was so close that it would be too easy for me to lean in and
plant my lips on his. “You know, Mattie, I want to have you again, but I’m
going to wait.”

My
eyes darted quickly to his. “Why?” That wasn’t what my body wanted to hear.

“Because
I want you to be comfortable with me and I don’t want you to run away from me,”
he told me simply as he gently ran his hand over my denim-clad thigh. I could
feel the throb between my legs again, and it amazed me that a man could have
such an effect on me.

“I
don’t want to wait,” I told him firmly.

He
watched me for a moment, before a small smile spread over his face. “All right
then. Stand up. I want you to strip naked and lie on the table.”

“What?
Here?” It was mid-morning and the sun was streaming in. I would be on display
to anyone who decided to walk past.

Taking
my hand, he pulled me to my feet. “Yes, here. It’s so isolated out here that no
one is going to come by, the only person who you have to be scared of,” he
planted a small kiss on my lips, “is me.” He released me and stepped back.
“Take your clothes off.”

I
looked out the window, of course, no one was out there and it would be highly
unlikely that anyone would see me. Taking a breath, I began to undress. I
pulled my t-shirt over my head, revealing my boring cotton bra, and then I
shimmied out of my jeans and wished that I had worn the underwear that Erin had
sent me. “And the rest,” he said gently.

I
turned my back to him as I removed my bra and then the panties. When I let them
drop to my feet, I crossed my arms across my breasts. “What now?” I asked
nervously.

“Climb
up on the table and lie on your back.”

I
paused for only a moment before I did so. I had never before felt so exposed as
I lay flat on my back, eyes on the ceiling, hands still crossed over my
breasts. Clay stood over me, and removed my arms so my breasts were revealed,
then he took my legs and spread them, pushing them up so they were bent at the
knees. I nearly whimpered in shock that all of me was open and on display. Clay
stood between my legs.

“That’s
much better.” I almost shivered as his eyes raked over me. “Now, I want you to
play with yourself.”

My
eyes widened. “What? No!”

“Yes,
Mattie. What’s the big deal? You do it when you’re alone right?” I flushed and
didn’t answer, he laughed softly at that. “I want you to be comfortable with
me. I’ve already seen you naked, I’ve already been inside you,
felt
you.
I’ve made your pussy soaking wet and I’ve made you call out the most obscene
things.” He gently took my hand and pulled it down between my legs. “You have
no secrets from me. I want to watch you make yourself cum. I’ll wait here all
day if I have to so you may as well get started.”

His
words were already turning me on, and I wanted to touch myself there.
Hesitantly, I started to stroke myself with one hand, and the effects were
almost instantaneous. With my other hand I touched my breast and pinched at my
nipple, imagining that it was him. Even so, this was still beyond embarrassing.
I kept my eyes trained on the ceiling as my hips began to move in response to
my own touch. I squeezed my nipple hard as the first tremor went through me. I
thought of Clay calling me sexy and desirable, of him slipping inside me and
squeezing my breasts tightly…

Nothing
got in the way. Not the hard table beneath me or the thought that someone may
peer in the window. That risk actually turned me on more, but first and
foremost was the knowledge that Clay stood above me, watching and appraising. I
moaned and gasped as I came. The orgasm was almost electric in its power. It
was nothing like the ones I had given myself in the past in dark rooms with
locked doors. This surpassed everything. At some stage, I had closed my eyes
and as I came back to myself, I opened them to find Clay staring down at me. I
expected to find his customary smile or smirk, but instead, he looked serious.
He bent down and kissed me on my lips, and I hungrily accepted his tongue into
my mouth, wanting more and more of him.

When
he drew away, I heard myself moan with disappointment, but then he said, “Now
it’s my turn.” He moved between my legs and lowered his head down to where I
had just pleasured myself. Gentle laps between my slick folds turned more
urgent, and his mouth closed over my clit as he sucked it into his mouth.

“Fuck!”
I hardly ever
swore, but right now Clay was sending me higher than I’d ever been. It was
nearly unbearable as he built me up and up. I gripped his hair and pulled, not
sure if I wanted him to stop because I couldn’t take it anymore or because I
never wanted him to stop. “Fuck,” I swore again, and then the noises coming
from me turned into wails and I shook underneath his hot, wet mouth.

“God,
that was…brilliant,” I said after he had pulled away, licking at his lips and a
satisfied smirk on his face. “I can’t believe that I came so fast again.” I
struggled to sit up and he helped me.

“I
told you that you weren’t frigid.” He wiped my hair that was damp with sweat
away from my face before kissing me. “See how good you taste?” he asked when he
broke the kiss, and I had to look away in embarrassment. At that he laughed
softly. “After all we’ve done and you’re still ashamed. You’re so cute.”

My
eyes darted back to him. “Cute?” My mouth twisted with distaste. “I don’t want
to be cute.” I got to my knees so I was eye level with him. “I want to be hot
and sexy. I want to be the seductress for once…”
I want the upper hand.

“Mattie.”
He cupped my face, and I wished that I could have read the expression on his,
but there was nothing there to lead me into the inner workings of his mind.
“You’re so many things.” We held each other’s gaze for a few seconds, before he
dropped his hand and pulled away. Then that normal grin came over his face, and
I did not know if that were an act, or that seriousness that had been shown
moments before was an anomaly. “Ever been on a motorcycle?”