This Can't Be Happening at Macdonald Hall (12 page)

“Oh, no, sir,” protested Boots in dismay. “That is —”

“Sir,” Bruno interjected earnestly, “Elmer Drimsdale calculates that in five days their pool will be as good as new. You know Elmer is never wrong.”

Mr. Sturgeon coughed. “I am delighted to hear that. I should hate to have to approach your parents with a bill for the repair costs. Because this is your first offence, this year at least, your punishment will be light — one week confined to your room after dinner.”

“Yes, sir,” said Boots. “Thank you, sir.”

“Sir,” said Bruno, “may we speak with you while we're on the subject of pools?”

“Very well. What is it, Walton?”

“Sir, is there any chance at all that we'll get a pool?”

“I'm afraid not,” replied the Headmaster, folding his hands in front of him. “We had one planned for this year, but construction costs being what they are, the budget was fifty thousand dollars short. I would like to have one because it would fill a gap in our athletic program and provide some fine recreation. However, these things can't be helped. There simply is not enough money.”

“Yes, sir,” chorused Bruno and Boots.

“Dismissed,” said Mr. Sturgeon, waving them out.

As they were walking back to their dormitory, Boots could stand his roommate's silence no longer. “Bruno,” he pleaded, “stop it! I don't like that look on your face.”

“There's no look on my face,” insisted Bruno, much too softly. “I'm just thinking, that's all.”

“About what?” Boots demanded suspiciously.

“About how badly we'll beat those York turkeys at the next swim meet. Which, incidentally, is going to be held at our pool — a bigger and better one than theirs.”

“Our pool? The Fish just said we aren't getting one!”

“Yes,” Bruno continued, unheeding. “We're not taking any more guff from those turkeys, and we're not losing you — or anybody else, for that matter — to York Academy. We're going to raise the money.”

“Bruno, you're talking about fifty G's!”

“If that's what it takes, that's what we'll get,” Bruno assured him. “Tomorrow morning at breakfast I want you to round up five or six guys — let's say two from each dorm. We'll meet at lunch and set ourselves up as a fund-raising committee.”

“But Bruno —”

“Don't argue with me. You don't want to be a York turkey, do you?”

“I wasn't arguing,” replied Boots meekly. “I just want to know who I should pick.”

“Well, let's see,” said Bruno thoughtfully. “We'll need Elmer Drimsdale. He's a genius. And Mark Davies. We may need the print shop. Chris Talbot would be good — we'll need some art work. And get Wilbur Hackenschleimer in case there's anything heavy to carry. That should do it.”

“What will you be doing while I'm recruiting?” asked Boots.

“Sleeping in, of course. You know I never get up for breakfast.”

* * *

“Mrs. Davis,” Mr. Sturgeon instructed his secretary, “please notify Mr. Hartley of York Academy that his swimming pool will be back to normal in five days' time.” He smiled thinly. “Tell him I have it on the highest scientific authority.”

Gordon Korman's first book,
This Can't Be Happening at Macdonald Hall!
, was published when he was only fourteen. Since then he has written more than seventy teen and middle-grade novels, including six more books about Macdonald Hall. Favourites include the
New York Times
bestselling
The 39 Clues: Cahills vs. Vespers Book One: The Medusa Plot; Ungifted; Schooled
; and the Hypnotist, Swindle and Island series. Born and raised in Canada, Gordon now lives with his family on Long Island, New York.

Q:
What's the easiest part about writing a book for you?

A:
Because I'm such a plotter, endings are where I feel the most in control, since that's where everything comes together.

Q:
What do you find is the most difficult part about writing a book?

A:
I have the most trouble with the transition between beginning and middle.

Q:
Your books tend to be very action and adventure, or completely hilarious. Do you find one style easier or more fun to write?

A:
Right now, I love switching back between a variety of styles — humour, adventure, sports, historical fiction, and then there's the series The 39 Clues, where I'm part of a team of authors. For a writer, the real enemy is boredom. If you're bored writing, you write boring.

Q:
Is it harder to write humour for middle grade readers, or for teens?

A:
Obviously, when you're writing for a very young audience, all you have to do is mention underwear, and you'll get laughs. But as your readers get older, the humour has to be more subtle. Also, with a younger crew, simply being funny can function as an end in itself, whereas in the teen world, the humour has to be an organic part of the greater whole.

Q:
What's your writing process like? Do you start with an outline?

A:
I'm a big outline guy. I need the beginning, the ending, and a couple of events from the middle before I start writing. Then, as the first draft progresses, more and more details fall into place. By the time I reach the ending, I pretty much know how it should go beat by beat.

Q:
Do you prefer the very first draft, with a blank page or computer screen, or do you look forward to revisions? Or going on tour?

A:
There's an immense feeling of satisfaction to finishing a new novel. But I do love going on tour and meeting my readers. I continue to do dozens of school visits every year.

Q:
What's the strangest question you've ever gotten from a fan?

A:
“Do you prefer discoing or waltzing?” Answer: Neither (I was a mosh-pit guy in my younger days).

Q:
What's a question you've never been asked about your books or writing that you've always wanted to answer? (And, of course, what's the answer?)

A:
“When are you going to write an important novel?” It's true that no one has ever finished one of my books and said, “Yep, now I know the meaning of life.” But I do believe that my books are important, because they get kids psyched about reading. Sure, I don't have a mantle full of Newbery awards, but I have something even more important for a writer — fans, stretching all the way back to the release of my first book in 1978.

Q:
Do you have any advice for young writers? What's the wackiest thing that works for your writing?

A:
Ninety-five percent of what I know about writing comes from doing it, so my advice would be to keep on writing. It may not always be fun, but you will continue to get better. And I don't think this is all that wacky, but I am nuts about backing up my work. When I write something, I save it on my laptop, my desktop, and a flash drive. Then — just in case — I e-mail it to my cell phone and my parents' computer in Canada.

This Can't Be Happening at Macdonald Hall!

Go Jump in the Pool

Beware The Fish!

The Wizzle War

The Zucchini Warriors

Lights, Camera, Disaster!

The Joke's on Us

 

 

“This is the darkest hour in the history of Macdonald Hall!”

—Bruno Walton

For the students of Macdonald Hall, there's nothing worse than losing to York Academy. And until the Hall gets its own pool, those York turkeys will win every swim meet. A pool is out of the question, though: the Hall's budget is fifty thousand dollars short. School pride is plummeting. There's even talk of Boots O'Neal's father transferring him to York Academy.

But Bruno Walton has a brilliant plan. It's time for the students to take matters into their own hands. How hard can it be to raise fifty grand? A few bake sales, a talent show, a rummage sale … they'll be there in no time, won't they?

Won't they
?

 

 

“Attention, world! We bring you
The Fish!”

—Anonymous

Macdonald Hall is having a serious cash-flow problem. Everything is being cut back — evening snack is gone, the lab equipment is decrepit and the dorms are freezing at night.

Worst of all, Headmaster Sturgeon is closing Dormitory 3 and moving Bruno Walton and Boots O'Neal in with Elmer Drimsdale, the science geek. There's even talk of Macdonald Hall being put up for sale.

Could this really be the end for Canada's finest boarding school?

Please
. This is Bruno and Boots we're talking about, and as always, they have a plan. If they can get some major publicity, score some big media attention, then tons of new students will sign up and the bucks will start rolling in!

The only problem is that the cops are closing in on them …

 

 

“You identify the enemy, and then you fight!”

—Bruno Walton

Macdonald Hall is under attack. Where once tradition and freedom of speech ruled the campus, now there is Mr. Wizzle.

That means a dress code — ties, even. Demerit points for just breathing the wrong way. Psychological tests for all students. Surprise dorm inspections. All in the name of progress.

Are the students of the Hall going to stand for it? Not on your life! Wizzle doesn't stand a chance against The Committee — a secret society of Macdonald Hall loyalists who meet out in the woods, late at night, to plot their revenge.

Whether it takes toilet-paper rolls, a touch of romance, or even an earthquake, it's unanimous: Wizzle must go!