Thirty-Three and a Half Shenanigans (33 page)

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Authors: Denise Grover Swank

Tags: #Mystery; Thriller & Suspense, #Mystery, #Cozy, #Women Sleuths, #Romance, #Romantic Comedy, #Romantic Suspense, #Mystery & Suspense, #Suspense, #Mysteries & Thrillers

BOOK: Thirty-Three and a Half Shenanigans
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I stopped in front of her and tilted my head. “I don’t know why you have a bee in your bonnet about me, but I don’t have time to sort it out. I have pressing issues to attend to.”

“Like stirring up trouble? Chief Deputy Simmons doesn’t have time to run after you, and Mr. Deveraux’s currently incapacitated. Thanks to your previous bad choices, I get to babysit.”

“Look, you obviously don’t want to spend time with me, and I don’t need you, so why don’t we part ways and go about our own business? Individually.”

“Not likely.” Her eyes squinted to slits. “The chief deputy has assigned me this job, and as much as I detest it, I’m going to show him what a great deputy I am.”

This was never gonna work. “Okay. If you insist on tagging along, let’s go.”

“Tagging along?” she sneered. “There’s no tagging along. I’m taking you into protective custody.”


What?

“Chief Deputy Simmons didn’t mention that part?”

There was no way I was going anywhere with this woman. I made a dash past her and hurried down the hall, the deputy on my heels.

“Stop!”

I ran down the stairs and made a bolt for the exit. Deputy Hoffstetter caught up with me as I was opening my car door.

“You’re gonna wish you hadn’t done that,” she said, out of breath.

“Am I under arrest?” I asked. “Because unless I’m under arrest, I think I can go wherever I want.”

She grunted, her lips curling. “My job is to protect you. You’re not making that easy.”

“Mason should be your priority, not me. I don’t need protection.”

She smirked at me. “And how do you know that?”

Oh, crappy doodles. “Just a gut feeling. Now I’ve gotta go.” I climbed inside my car and locked the door as she pulled on the handle.

“Open the door! Where are you going?”

I started the car and backed up.

“Stop that car!” she shouted, jumping in front of it to block my path.

Now what was I gonna do?

She grinned. “That’s right. You’re not going anywhere.”

I glanced in the rearview mirror. She was wrong about that. I threw the car in reverse and drove backward. The deputy ran after me, but I found another exit and backed up past it before putting the car in drive and turning out of the parking lot.

I dug my phone out of my purse. “Neely Kate? I need you to meet me somewhere.”

“Okay, where?”

I took a deep breath. “I don’t know . . . Um . . . how about the parking lot of Jonah’s church?”

“But I thought Jonah was out of town until Saturday. Isn’t he doin’ that special holiday themed televangelist Jeopardy taping?”

“He is. That’s not why I’m meeting you there. I’m kind of running from the law again.”


What?

I looked into the rearview mirror to see if the deputy was following me. “I’ll explain when I see you.”

“That’s what you said this morning.”

“So now I have more to tell you. Can you meet me really soon? And we need to take your car so she won’t track me.”

“Who?”

“Deputy Hoffstetter.”

I got to the parking lot before Neely Kate, not that I was surprised. The hospital was five minutes from the church, and Neely Kate was a good twenty minutes away. I used the opportunity to call Bruce Wayne.

“Hey, Rose,” he said, sounding cheerful. “Good news! Mason’s call lit a fire under our penny-pinching landlord, and the fuse box is getting fixed today. What are you up to?”

“If you’re at the office, you might want to be prepared for what’s about to show up on our doorstep.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means a deputy’s probably gonna come by lookin’ for me.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing. Not this time. I swear it. Someone’s trying to kill Mason, and Joe’s assigned a deputy to watch out for me. Only Deputy Hoffstetter thinks that means protective custody.”

“Whoa, whoa,” he said. “What do you mean someone is trying to kill Mason?”

I filled him in on what I knew from Joe, keeping the Skeeter part to myself, but in the last month or so, Bruce Wayne had gotten really good at reading between the lines. “How does Skeeter Malcolm play into this?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’d heard rumors that the Lady in Black was spotted last night, but I didn’t want to believe it.”

I groaned. “Bruce Wayne . . .”

“You’re supposed to let me help you, Rose.” The hurt in his voice was like a stab in the chest.

“It’s too dangerous for you, Bruce Wayne. You’re on probation. You can’t get mixed up in this.”

“We’re
partners
, Rose. The only reason you’re tangled up with him is because I was stupid enough to set up that meeting. You need to let me help you.”

“I’m done with him.”

“The hell you are.”

“I’m done with him for today, then.”

“Rose.” His voice was heavy with disappointment.

“He said he could help me find out who was trying to kill Mason. How could I pass that up?”

“How about letting Joe take care of it?”

“Because, officially, Joe’s no closer to finding the culprits, while I found two of them last night.”

“Did you tell Joe?”

“No.” I swallowed. “They were Skeeter’s men. They wanted to pin it on Skeeter, so he’d go to jail, and they could take over. He took care of it.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“You think Skeeter’s men are going to betray him and walk free?”

“That’s not what I’m talking about, Rose.”

“Then what?”

“How do you know Skeeter’s not behind it all and duping you into thinking he’s helping?”

“I had visions, Bruce Wayne.”

“Did you have any visions that specifically told you Skeeter wasn’t behind the attempt on Mason’s life?”

I scowled. Of course, I knew there was a chance Bruce Wayne was right, but my gut instinct, which I’d learned to rely on, told me it wasn’t true. “No, I guess not.”

Bruce Wayne was silent for a moment. “Skeeter’s bad news, Rose. Stay away from him.”

“I told you. I have no plans to see him again.”

“If he calls you, don’t answer.”

Neely Kate’s car pulled into the parking lot. “Neely Kate’s here, so I have to go. I just wanted to warn you about Deputy Hoffstetter.”

“If you need me,
call
.”

I was getting all kinds of offers for help today. “Thanks, Bruce Wayne.”

Neely Kate stopped her car next to mine. I started to get out, but she shook her head and climbed out from behind the wheel. “We can’t use my car, Rose. I barely made it here. Something’s wrong with it.”

I suppressed a groan. “Okay, we’ll make this work. Surely she won’t think to look for me at Billy Jack’s.”

“Why does Joe have her trailing you anyway? Does he not want us to visit Billy Jack?”

“No. Someone tried to kill Mason yesterday.” I repeated what I’d told Bruce Wayne as I drove down side streets in an attempt to avoid Deputy Hoffstetter.

“Then what are you doing runnin’ around?” she asked. “I know you don’t want to spend all day cooped up with that cranky woman, but this isn’t worth risking your life for, Rose. If someone’s after Mason, they might be after you, too.”

“Calm down. I’m safe.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.” Mostly. I couldn’t escape the nagging feeling there was more to this.

“What were you
really
doing?” she asked in her Neely-Kate-snooping voice.

I stopped at an intersection and turned around to face her. “Honestly, Neely Kate. The less you know, the better.”

She stared at me for three full seconds. “You’ve been running around with Skeeter Malcolm again.” Her face was expressionless.

I didn’t answer.

Her eyes rolled as she threw up her hands. “You have!”

“Skeeter’s been set up to make the sheriff’s department think that he’s trying to kill Mason, but he’s not.”

She grabbed my hand and held tight, giving me a sympathetic look. “Oh, honey. Of course Skeeter says he’s not. He wants you to keep helpin’ him.”

I knew both she and Bruce Wayne believed it, but I just couldn’t. I pulled my hand from hers. “No, Neely Kate. He was being set up so he’d lose his crown as king of the underworld. There are a lot of people who are unhappy with how the auction got busted just after Skeeter won. Two of his men thought they could take out Skeeter and Mason all at the same time.”

“And you really believe that?”

“Yes, Neely Kate. I
do
. I had visions to back it up.”

She was silent for a moment. “Did you tell Joe?”

“No. I’m trying to figure out how to do that.”

“Okay. We’ll figure something out. Do you want to hide out somewhere so we can avoid getting caught by your deputy?”

“No.” I shook my head. “Billy Jack’s somehow involved in the plot to kill Mason. I just don’t know how, which means the threat might still exist. Skeeter doesn’t believe it, and he wants me to let it drop. But I can’t.” I turned toward her.

“Do you think it has anything to do with Billy Jack wanting to see me yesterday?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe. Maybe he knew someone was doing something to Mason’s car.”

“Did you tell Joe
that
?”

“Tell him what? I had a vision in Skeeter’s clubhouse, and I saw some guy talking about Billy Jack when I tried to have a vision about Mason’s attempted murder.”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “You’re right. Anything else I need to know?”

I shrugged. “Maeve’s helping Violet unpack inventory at the nursery today.”

“Wow. I didn’t see that one coming.”

“I know.”

We made it to Pickle Junction without getting spotted by any Fenton County deputies, and I turned down Billy Jack’s gravel drive, my stomach knotting into a ball. “We need some kind of plan.”

“I suggest we just show up at his doorstep and ask him why he called and then didn’t show.”

I stopped the truck where I’d parked last time and glanced over at Neely Kate. “Maybe you should stay in the truck.”

“Why?”

“What if he’s still mad, Neely Kate? I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“He called
me
yesterday, Rose. I’m going.”

We got out of the truck and walked toward the trailer.

“His car’s here,” Neely Kate said, pointing to an old muscle car.

“It wasn’t here last time.”

“He probably had it parked in the garage behind his trailer the other day. He doesn’t like to leave it out if he thinks it’s gonna rain or snow,” she said, walking over to the black vehicle. “Hey . . . there’s a chance of snow tonight. I can’t believe he’d just leave it out like that.” Neely Kate peeked inside the passenger window. “The keys are in the ignition.” She stood up. “There’s no way he’d do that. Something’s up.”

“Let’s see if he’s home,” I said, the hair standing up on the back of my neck.

“Yeah . . .”

We walked up to the front door, and Billy Jack’s dogs started barking frantically. Neely Kate rapped on the front door, and we waited for a good ten seconds before Neely Kate knocked harder. The door creaked and opened, leaving a small gap.

“Oh, crap. That’s not good,” Neely Kate said, turning around to look at me. “He’s totally paranoid. He’d never leave his door unlocked and open.”

“Maybe we should call Joe,” I said.

“Do you think he’d come? What are we going to tell him? That Billy Jack’s car is here and he’s not home?

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Joe doesn’t care about Dolly Parton.” Neely Kate sucked in her bottom lip as she concentrated. Then she turned back to the door. “Billy Jack!” she called out. “Billy Jack! Are you home?”

The dogs went crazy barking, and Neely Kate pushed the door open wider. The Chihuahuas rushed out, and one attached itself to my leg.

“Again?” I muttered, shaking it off.

Neely Kate took a step over the threshold. “Billy Jack?”

“Neely Kate!” I hissed. “What do you think you’re doing? Billy Jack’s gonna kill you if he catches you in his trailer.”

She grinned. “Then we better not get caught.”

Oh crap.

I had no choice but to follow her. She stood in the center of the tiny living room, looking around.

“Something’s not right, Neely Kate,” I said after a moment, a shiver running down my back.

“I know.”

But we’d come this far, so there was no turning back now. “Let’s just look around to see if we can find something tying him to Mason.”

“Like a journal entry that says, ‘Dear Diary, I’m gonna kill the Assistant District Attorney today’?” Neely Kate asked sarcastically.

“Very funny.” Only it wasn’t. Hearing her say the words terrified me. “I don’t know. Just keep an open mind. Maybe we can find out something that will help us with Dolly Parton too.”

“Okay.”

“You look out here, and I’ll check the bedroom.” I took off down the dark hall and pushed open a door to reveal a guest room that was surprisingly tidy, considering the state of the front part of the trailer. I left it and passed the bathroom before pushing open the door to what I guessed to be the master bedroom. Feet planted in the doorway, I stared inside with disbelief.

Billy Jack lay in his bed, fully clothed, with a bloody hole in his forehead, his hand gripped in a fist.

“Neely Kate . . .” I called out to her.

“Just a minute. I think I found something. Nope . . . nope, I didn’t.”

“Neely Kate,” I said more insistently, still staring at Billy Jack’s face. His eyes were wide open.

“I just found Billy Jack’s porn stash. Disgusting.”


Neely Kate!
” I yelled.

“What?”

“I found Billy Jack.”

“What?” She was behind me within seconds. “Oh my God! Is he . . . ?”

“Dead? Yeah. We have to get out of here.” I spun around and pushed Neely Kate toward the living room as I dug out my cell phone.

“Who are you callin’?” she asked.

“Joe. He’s bound to listen now.” He didn’t answer, and it went to voice mail. I immediately called him back, and he answered after the first ring, sounding irritated. “Are you calling to complain about Abbie Lee?”

“No. I’m calling because Billy Jack’s dead.”

“Billy Jack?” he asked in confusion. “Who’s Billy Jack?”

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