Thirst (3 page)

My stomach
churning, I held my mobile phone to my ear and waited for a
familiar voice to answer. One word threw me back into my past. The
silver crosses, the holy water baths, the daily prayers to God for
cleansing. The mistake I made that forced me to leave. One hello
from Nancy, my grandmother, and everything I bottled up threatened
to break loose.

“Hello?” she said
again, her voice impatient. I hesitated, already regretting the
call. I wasn’t sure what to say, or if she’d even want to hear from
me. Our relationship has always been strained at best.

“Ava?” she
whispered. I swore silently. How on earth did she know it was me? I
cleared my throat, stalling as always.

“Uh, yeah, it’s
me.”

“Ava,” she
repeated, relief washing the tone of her voice to my surprise. “Are
you okay? Where are you?”

“I’m
alright.”

“Do you know how
long I’ve been worrying about you? Seven years. Seven years, Ava!
Without a phone call or anything! How dare you do that to
me?”

I sat back and
let her words roll over me. The familiar anger in her voice was
almost comforting. I ran away when I was eighteen, after an
intimate moment with my first serious boyfriend almost turned into
a bloodbath. Too ashamed to go back home, I did what I could to
make money and finally got a place of my own. I didn’t go far. I
settled for a rough area she wouldn’t be caught dead in.

“Granny,” I
interrupted. “I need your help. I’ve... done something. I don’t
know what to do to fix it.”

Her intake of
breath was sharp. But her voice became brisk and business-like. “Is
there a body?”

My insides curled
up in shock. “No, I haven’t... I don’t hurt people,
okay?”

“Then what is
it?” Her voice was too calm for my liking.

“There’s this
guy, Carl. I don’t know him or anything. I just happened to be
around. I, uh, smelled something. A vampire attacked him last
night. I helped him get away, but now he won’t leave me alone. I
think I’ve done something to him. I don’t know what, but he stood
outside my door all night, waiting for me.”

“Is he stalking
you? Have you called the police?”

I almost laughed.
I could only imagine the police trying to deal with Carl. “It’s not
like that, Granny. He’s not himself. It’s like he has a spell on
him. He thinks he’s my slave or something.”

“Is that a bad
thing?” The amusement in her voice loosened me up
completely.

“I’m freaking out
here! I can’t be around him; he keeps offering himself to me. His
neck, you know? I’m scared, Granny. I don’t know what to do. It’s
like he’s trying to get me to bite him. I can’t control myself; you
have to help me. Please, tell me what to do?”

A couple of tears
rolled down my cheeks. My hands shook again. I had to have the
worst of both sides: the weakness of humanity and the overwhelming
thirst of vampirism. I sniffed noisily, overwhelmed by self-pity
and frustration.

“
You
could come and stay here. I could help you control it.”

I brushed away my
tears, angry at her words. “How? You gonna make me kneel on the
floor, and pray for my sins? Didn’t work before,
remember?”

“There’s no need
to be a smart mouth.” Her voice trembled a little. The way we
reverted back to our old relationship annoyed me. Her, the victim.
Me always having to apologise for the way I was born.

“I’m sorry. This
is hard for me, okay? I can’t go back there. You know that. I have
to figure this mess out.” I tried to swallow my bitterness for
Carl’s sake.

“You can’t do it
alone. If you’re asking me for help then you’re in big trouble,
that much I can tell you. If you won’t come here then I can give
you a name and address. There’s a man I’ve come across who knows
about things like this. He might be able to help you. Will you go
see him?”

I nodded
obediently before remembering she couldn’t see me. “Yeah, okay.
I’ll see him. Thanks.”

“Before I give
you his details, I need you to promise me something.”

“What?” I said
warily.

She took a
shuddering breath.

“I want you to keep in touch with me. I
want my granddaughter back. And I need you to remember you
are
human. Not a vampire. Not a
demon. Not evil. I’m sorry it took me so long to realise that. You
have a problem, yes, but it isn’t bigger than you. You can do
anything you put your mind to. Remember that when the thirst kicks
in.” She moved on briskly, giving me the details of the man she
knew and telling me to be careful. She hung up before I could thank
her.

I typed the man’s
contact details into my phone quickly before I forgot them. Peter
Brannigan. I was pretty sure the address was in a nice part of
town. I imagined Brannigan to be a middle-aged librarian living
with his cats. I wondered how my grandmother had even come across
him and if he was the real deal, or yet another con
artist.

The entire
conversation with her had been surreal. I sat and stared at my
phone for a few minutes, completely overwhelmed. The day before, I
had been sure I would never talk to the woman again. Yet here I
was, listening to her talking about my thirst like it was
nothing.

I was born in my grandmother’s house,
shortly before my mother died from a vampire’s bite. She refused to
go to a hospital, saying
they
would find me. Whatever she said convinced my grandmother
that not only did vampires exist but that her grandchild would be a
hybrid version who needed to be kept hidden. My start in life was a
secret. That was rule number one in our family, so it was strange
for my thirst to be acknowledged by my grandmother in such a
relaxed manner.

I only remember
her telling one person the truth about me. That woman had appeared
to be the real deal. She was the one who told us vampires hadn’t
been able to turn humans in over a century. She warned us that
secrecy was imperative, and she even tried to mend the damaged
relationship between my grandmother and myself. She disappeared
before she could finish the job.

I knew I had to
go back to the flat, but I figured if I brought food then Carl’s
scent might not hit me as hard. I unlocked the door and dumped the
food on the table, keeping a careful eye on Carl. He had been
asleep on the sofa and was stretching lazily, giving me a charming
smile.

“Hungry?”

He nodded
eagerly. I gave him some of the food and took the rest, standing at
the counter to put space between us. It was nice being close to him
without feeling compelled to bite him. It was almost normal. I had
company for dinner for the first time in seven years. I nearly
smiled.

I wasn’t sure how
being enthralled worked, if his brain worked properly, if he’d even
remember all of this later. But I decided to treat him like a
normal person as much as possible. Just in case his mind was still
his somewhere in there, and he was freaking out
internally.

“Is there anyone
who might be missing you, someone I can ring?”

Carl looked up
dreamily, shook his head slightly and went back to devouring his
food.

For someone who
had spent almost seven years spending as little time with humans as
possible, I was strangely disturbed by Carl’s lack of chatter. I
found myself waffling away to make up for the quiet. Twinges of
guilt snapped at my insides when I thought of his worried
family.

“Carl, if you’re
freaking out and scared and can’t, you know, express it? Then I
want to say I’m not planning on hurting you. I’m trying to figure
this out. Promise.”

He looked back at
me solemnly.

“Talk to me, it’s
weird when you don’t. What age are you? Do you have a job? Family?
Anything like that?” I wasn’t used to making small talk; I hadn’t a
clue how to initiate conversations. Especially with a complete
stranger I’d accidentally enthralled.

“I’m... twenty-seven. Engaged. Live with
her. Maria. I work... in an office, accountancy.” He scrunched up
his nose and squinted, like he was trying really hard.
Oh, God, what have
I done?

“Engaged. Wow.
You must be planning the wedding, yes?”

He put his fork
down and looked thoughtful. He seemed to make a conscious effort to
gather his thoughts and speak to me properly.

“She is. I don’t
want to.” A pained expression settled on his face.

“Don’t want to
plan or get married?”

“Get married.
We’re together ages. It’s what you’re supposed to do.”

“I’m pretty sure
you’re supposed to do what makes you happy.”

He looked
directly at me, clarity in his eyes. But it passed within seconds.
His eyes dulled again, and he went back to his food.

“Don’t worry,
Carl. I found someone who might be able to help sort out our little
problem. Then you can go home and forget all about me.”

He shook his
head. “No, thanks.”

I was afraid of
that.

“Whatever it is
you’re feeling, it isn’t normal. This isn’t what you really want.
And it’s dangerous for you here. I’m a danger to you. So you need
to go. Okay? Trust me, you’ll thank me later.”

He smiled blankly
at me. It was frustrating trying to talk to him, so I gave up. “Go
watch TV or something for a while.”

I finished my
food and went to lay on my bed, thinking about what to do next. I
could visit the man my grandmother recommended, Peter Brannigan,
but we might not be back by dark, and I didn’t want to risk that
vampire seeing us again. He was bound to return; I saw how curious
he had been.

I decided it
would be better to leave as soon as it got bright the next morning
to avoid trouble. Vampires couldn’t handle sun light, so daytime
meant protection. Unfortunately, during winter, there weren’t that
many daylight hours; I had often spotted vampires out and about
just before dusk. My biggest problem, however, was spending another
night with Carl.

I had been okay
while we were eating, but now I wasn’t doing anything in
particular, my ears kept zoning in on his pulse again. I began to
imagine what he tasted like. I clawed at my clothes, bit at my
knuckles and struggled to stay still, wondering if it felt anything
like a junkie’s withdrawal. Carl knocked at my door right on cue as
though he knew how I was feeling.

“I’m trying to
sleep. Go away!” I shouted at him, my voice bordering on
hysterical.

I had to keep him
away from me. He was all too willing to be a victim. I reminded
myself he had a family somewhere, people who would miss him if he
didn’t come home. I remembered my grandmother’s words.

I’m bigger than my thirst; it doesn’t
own me
. I repeated that
sentence in my head over and over again until I dozed
off.

My dreams were
all about Carl. He was in the alleyway again, pinned against a
wall, his eyes wide with fear. But it was me holding him there, my
eyes that glowed red. It was me nipping his neck and licking his
wound slowly, sensually.

I awoke crying,
my stomach growling with hunger, my heart racing with need. I heard
him move and prayed he wouldn’t come near me because I was way too
close to the edge. I stayed awake, pretending to read, until
daylight came. I was counting on Peter Brannigan to solve all of my
problems.

I showered and
dressed, then stuffed myself full of cereal and toast, hoping to
get out of the apartment without killing Carl. I sent him into the
bathroom to get washed up.

“Don’t even
attempt to shave,” I hollered at him through the door. The last
thing I needed was for him to cut himself on a razor. I nibbled on
chocolate until he was ready.

“We’re going to
see a man called Peter,” I told him. “He’s going to help us. You’ll
snap out of it, and everything will go back to normal.” I didn’t
add what else I was thinking—hopefully he could help before I tore
Carl’s throat out.

Carl moved toward
me suddenly, catching me unaware despite my edginess. He held my
arms and moved close to me. My heart pounded with anticipation. I
lifted my face and nuzzled against his chest, inhaling his scent
and relishing the feel of his heartbeat against my cheek. I
realised I was licking my lips again when he jerked his head down
and brushed his neck across my mouth.

My fangs shot out
rapidly, shocking me into action. My head fought against my
instincts, and I pushed him away as hard as I could, even as my
mouth opened to bite him. I stumbled backward, losing my balance as
Carl fell to the ground. I lay there panting, half afraid to
move.

“We have to get
out of here,” I muttered, the thirst almost blinding me with its
intensity. The angry girl inside hadn’t been much help this time,
and my head felt like it might explode.

“It’s okay, Ava,”
Carl said, moving close to me again.

“No, it really
isn’t. Don’t come near me!”

He stopped moving
straight away, to my relief. I wasn’t able to control the thirst.
It would always get the best of me. It was like an animal trapped
inside me, wild and feral. I’d never tame it. I needed
help.