Third Time Lucky (27 page)

‘Not yet, Mom. I haven’t, uh – had a chance, as you can see.’

‘Well, it’s very hot out here. If you just got off a flight, you must be dehydrated. Can I get you some lemonade, Alexander?’

‘I don’t want to put you to any trouble, but that would be lovely, thanks.’

‘It’s no trouble as you’ve made a detour to see us. Would you prefer tea? I have some Earl Grey in the kitchen. Lauren seems to have acquired a taste for it while she was away.’

‘Lemonade will be fine, thanks, Blythe.’

‘Why don’t you sit down here while I fetch it? I’ve asked your driver into the kitchen for a cool drink; he must have been baking out in the car, despite the air conditioning.’

He settles his big, lean frame in the deckchair at the table, while I collapse into the seat opposite, grateful for some solidity under my watery limbs. My mother is halfway around the pool when, out of the corner of my eye, I see her turn her head and give me an open-palm gesture of total confusion.

He
rests his hand on the table, inches from the envelope containing my contract. ‘What a lovely garden. I had no idea you had a pool,’ he says innocently, then starts to toy with the envelope. It has the Ross Foundation logo on it, my name on the front. It doesn’t take a genius to work out what it is.

My mother comes back with the drinks on a tray. ‘Here you go. If you need anything else, Lauren will sort you out, I’m sure. Now, I need to get changed out of this suit and I guess you two have a lot to catch up on.’

She leaves us alone. Alexander taps the envelope.

‘That’s the job offer,’ I say, almost defiantly.

‘I guessed as much. Congratulations.’

I stay silent.

‘You asked me why I was really here, so I’m going to tell you.’

I stiffen in my seat. ‘Oh.’

Despite the lemonade, my mouth is dry.

‘You remember when Valentina threatened to share that video?’

My heart rate picks up. I can’t deal with any more of her crazy antics now. ‘How could I forget?’

‘We both thought she wouldn’t go through with it, but nonetheless I had to take it seriously. I could have spoken with the count and contessa. I could have told them what she’s been up to and how it would have hurt my mother and father, if they’d known, but I didn’t. I told Valentina to go ahead and share it.’

‘You
did what? Why?’

‘Perhaps it was a risk, a huge risk, but I know by now that you have to take risks to survive and get what you want. I told her that posting that video and her story would be pointless. I told her to go ahead and do it, that if I got kicked out of the army for it, I’d accept that, but nothing and no one would ever be able to force me into doing something I don’t want to –
stop seeing you
.’

I swallow hard at the implication of his words. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, knowing he was prepared to risk his commission for … me.

‘And I didn’t mean it, the all-or-nothing thing. I was just upset,’ he says simply.

Now I am really lost for words; I wasn’t expecting any of this. Alexander keeps going.

‘Listen, I’ve made another decision too. Assuming Valentina doesn’t carry out her threat and the army don’t chuck me out, I’ve no choice but to complete this year. I owe them, and I owe it to myself to finish it. But then I’ll leave. I know I can’t carry on with it.’ He sees my questioning look but stalls me. ‘So it’s only for a year that we can’t be together. I know you are tied here, I know our jobs make things bloody difficult. But I’m not giving up, Lauren.’ He looks at me fiercely. ‘I need to have you in my life, in whatever small way. I probably
will
fuck your life up, and you mine, but I don’t care. Seeing much less of you is a hell of a lot better than not seeing you at all. You know I
have
to keep fighting.’ He finishes his long speech and takes a deep breath.

‘Fighting
each other?’ I whisper.

‘Yes, each other if we have to, because anything is preferable to the nothing I’ve suffered over the past two weeks. Fighting each other is better than lying down and giving in. I
don’t
give in. I don’t lose. Do you?’

I flail around for a response. I can hardly breathe, let alone speak rationally. ‘You didn’t say any of this at the ball.’

‘I was upset – shocked about the job. And then, before I knew it, you made me promise to walk away – you demanded I left – and for your sake, I did it. I didn’t tell you how I felt because I didn’t want to hold you back, and you didn’t want to hear it anyway. Well, you’re hearing it now and I don’t care what it does to you. I’m a selfish, single-minded bastard, you know that by now. I’m not asking you to come back. I know that isn’t going to happen.’

I look up at him, still unable to speak.

‘But, like I say … even if you can’t be with me physically, I’d like to know – I need to know – that you’ll be with me
somewhere
… unless it’s too late, of course, and someone else got there first?’

‘No … No, they haven’t … but … Look, I don’t need you or any other guy. I love my parents too, but I don’t need them to find me a career. I can make my own decisions about my life, my love life, my career, even if’ – I take a deep breath – ‘they’re very, very stupid ones.’

He
looks at me questioningly, as if he can’t believe what I’m implying. ‘What are you saying?’

I take a deep breath. ‘I’ve decided not to take the Ross Foundation job. My parents don’t even know this yet but I emailed Donna this morning to say thanks, but no thanks.’

‘Why?’ He doesn’t move a muscle.

‘Like I said, I make my own decisions. The job, it felt too “set up” for me – almost
too
perfect.’

‘So you’re turning it down because your parents arranged it?’

‘Not only that. It’s … I’m not ready to settle into the whole career thing just yet. I’ve had a taste of freedom, with all its joy and pain …’ I smile at him. ‘A
lot
of pain at times but going it alone seems to have given me a taste for adventure, so I’ve decided I want to travel, like Immy. I’m hoping I can join her, wherever she is.’

He swallows hard. ‘Immy and you let loose on the world? That
is
an adventure … And your decision has nothing whatsoever to do with me?’

‘Would it hurt your ego if I said it didn’t?’ I smile, I hope enigmatically, while my heart does a slow thump, thump against my ribcage.

‘Not even a little?’

‘Well, maybe a teeny tiny bit.’ I pinch my fingers together to show him just how little, while inside I have the strangest feeling, like I’m as light as a helium balloon and if someone cut my string, I’d fly off into the sky.

‘Listen,
that’s fine,’ he says quietly, and I feel like I really have stunned him. Then he looks up, giving me a guarded look. ‘Though it won’t be nearly so easy for me to visit you when I’m on leave,’ he says ruefully. ‘Christ, I don’t know how I’ll cope – I’ll be in Britain and God knows where else. You’ll be halfway round the world. It’ll be a form of torture seeing so little of you – seriously,’ he adds when he sees my face. ‘But,’ he sighs, ‘in a year’s time I’ll be back at Falconbury for good and things can be different – if you want them to be.’

I start to speak but he stops me. ‘It’s not just about you; it’s time I did my duty to Falconbury and to Emma, no matter how much she thinks she doesn’t need me. Maybe I can still have some kind of role, in training or intel, but I need to go home and take up where my father left off, and hopefully, if I try very hard, make a better job of things, of everything, than he did.’

Now this really takes me by surprise. I know how much he’s struggled with the idea of being tied to Falconbury, but I guess his father’s death changed everything, and I admire how he’s facing up to his responsibilities. Seems content to do so. And then, just as I think there can be no more surprises, from the pocket of his shorts, he pulls out the necklace. It sparkles in the sunshine, way more dazzling than the sunlight on the water.

‘But it
is
, partly, about you too. My mother didn’t leave this for Emma; she set it aside for me.’

‘It
wouldn’t suit you,’ I say, yet my voice sounds wobbly.

He laughs but doesn’t let me off the hook, his gaze burning into me. ‘You know what I mean. Are you going to wear it?’

‘With my bikini?’

‘I can’t think of a better outfit.’

Every rational cell in my brain, every smart one, is saying, solemnly: no. Yet my instincts are not rational when I hear his next words.

‘Lauren, I know I’m rubbish at this sort of thing but please take this. Keep it with you, treat it like it’s a piece of me while we can’t be together. I really want you to have it –
need
you to have it. And if in a year’s time you want to give it back, if we can’t survive this year apart, I’ll accept it back then, if that’s really what you want. I’m in this for the long haul, and I want to give you this to show you I mean business. I want a future for us when we’ve both got through the next year.’

You know, he looks so agonized that I almost feel sorry for him.

Almost
.

I could say anything at this point. I could tell him it’s not going to work, that we’d better walk away from one another now. That we will both move on and forget all about each other. I do none of these things. It takes all my resolve not to tell him I’ll come back to Falconbury with him, that all I want is to be with him, because right
now, that’s exactly what I long to do. But I can’t, I know I can’t.

I look down briefly at the choker before looking up into those eyes again, almost blinded by the intensity of their gaze, and I give him a barely perceptible nod. I hold out my hand, and I take the choker, my fingers clumsy and awkward.

I hear his soft intake of breath, of astonishment and relief, and then he lifts my chin and something shifts in those dark, beautiful eyes. He moves to clasp the necklace round my neck and I almost think I can feel his fingers shaking as he does it, but then maybe it’s me shaking.

He pulls me to him roughly and kisses me like he’s never kissed me before, his still damp hair brushing my face. His hands exert a firm and totally delicious pressure on the back of my bikini bottoms. I don’t know what to think, I really don’t, but right here, right now, I can only let myself enjoy the feeling of him against me and take one day at a time.

‘My mother must be watching,’ I whisper.

‘I don’t doubt it …’ he murmurs. ‘And if mine is watching too, I should think she’s a hell of a lot happier than yours.’

OK, I can feel the tears threatening now and yes, I’m wearing the Hunt family heirloom along with my bikini, and my mother is definitely watching because I can see her in the French windows, one hand over her mouth like she’s waiting for Daddy’s results on election night.

Alexander
sees her too, but neither of us cares.

Something has shifted in both of us and he gives me that slow, lazy smile I can never resist. ‘So, um, Lauren, I have a week before I have to rejoin my regiment.’

‘Only a week?’ I moan, instinctively leaning in closer to him. How on earth am I going to say goodbye in a week’s time?

‘I’m sorry.’ He pauses, then adds, ‘So how do you propose we fill it?’ He really is outrageous. One minute you can almost hear the sound of my heart cracking in two and the next I could rip all his clothes off right here in front of my mother. I shake my head and take a moment to steady my thoughts before grinning at him helplessly and walking my fingers up his chest. ‘There’s a lot that can happen in a week …’ I whisper.

‘That’s what I’m worried about. I don’t want to go back to my unit in a worse state than I just left it.’

Every inch of me is fizzing and now I really don’t care what my mother sees or thinks. I slip my hand down the back of his shorts, revelling at the look on his face as he closes his eyes and I reach up to kiss him. ‘Like what could I possibly do to hurt you?’ I whisper.

He gives me such a look. ‘Severe mental trauma? Physical exhaustion?’

‘You think?’ I tease.

‘Oh, I
know
. And frankly, I can’t bloody wait.’

There’s
probably a statement at the start of this book, reminding people that the contents are purely a work of fiction, but I’d just like to add my own ‘disclaimer’. While I have done a lot of research into many aspects of the worlds I’ve been creating, I’ve also – shock horror – made a lot of it up. So I apologize to all the generous people who’ve helped me gain insight into military life, horsey things, hunting etiquette, American culture, etc. If I used some of your information while changing other aspects to suit my story. While many of the places mentioned in the book are real, all the people and the events are pure fantasy. Actually, no one would believe it if I did include some real stuff, but that’s another story …

So now I’ve got that out of the way, I can have the pleasure of thanking all the people who helped and supported me in writing the series. It has been a total joy as well as an exciting challenge. I’m sure I’ll miss someone out, but here goes, in no particular order: Janice Hume, Liz Hanbury, Nell Dixon, Lizzie Forbes, Mike V., David I., James T., Hannah T., Catherine Jones, Debra Ross, Leah Larson, Karen Markinson-Ambrose, and a bunch of great students, who had better remain nameless.

At
Penguin, a huge thanks goes to my ed, Claire Bowron, for her skill and forbearance, and to Alex Clarke for making me laugh in a good way and giving me this wonderful chance. Also thanks to the copy-editing team, especially Emma Horton, to Charlotte Brabbin and Viola Hayden, and the fantastic sales and marketing gurus, in particular Katie Sheldrake and Anna Dercakz.

To my agent, Broo. You are a legend. ’Nuff said.

Finally, to my parents and my family, ILY. John and Charlotte, you are amazing and I genuinely couldn’t have done this without you.