Thieves in the Night (22 page)

If it were only a question of wading out to work and back home, that would be a trifle. The trouble is that our billets and living conveniences are scattered over an area of five acres. The communal showers and W.C.s are at a distance of 120 yards from the hut in which my room is; the Dining Hall is
80 yards away, the Reading Room 100, the Secretariat 150 in another direction. Thus all the routine functions of life become transformed into amphibious expeditions through the rain-beaten swamp, each necessitating a change from outdoor gumboots into indoor shoes and back, and the tedious paraphernalia of scraping, stamping and brushing one's footwear all day.

It is of course all a question of money. If we had enough money for proper sanitation, we could at least have running water and a W.C. for each living-hut. But this luxury not even the oldest and wealthiest Communes are so far able to afford. “The children first, then the cattle, then the workers….” However, the first two concrete living-huts and three further blockhouses are nearing completion, and in a month's time everybody, including the youth-group, will have a roof over his head and the tents will be stored away for the next batch of newcomers.

The greatest plague during the rainy season is to have one's tummy upset—and it is a frequent one. To wade at night through the rain and gale and mud to the lavatory, possibly three or four times, is much worse than an Arab raid. But for these heroic achievements there are no laurels.

There is a water music by Haendel and an Alpensymphonie by Strauss; I wish Mendl would compose the Symphony of the Mud. It would have to be mainly written for double-bass—a slow, heavy, thumping, thudding, squelching, belching, squashing, splashing, atonal cacophony, to the accompaniment of the drumming of the rain on the roofs.

Sunday

The Arab unrest is petering out. Peter, leader of the
Haganah
in Chanita, our most exposed settlement on the Syrian border, visited us yesterday. He had a long hush-hush talk with Reuben, presumably about illegal arms. Later in the dining-hut he told us more stories about Wingate, who lived
in Chanita for some time last summer; he was training them in offensive guerrilla-warfare and led them in various actions. They all worship him, even Peter who is a dry and cautious kind of fellow. Apparently he has the habit of working stark naked in his room, speaks little, has a laconic sense of humour, a romantic penchant for Hebrew History and seems to lack the faculties of fear and fatigue. Once he remarked to Peter: “You chaps learn more in a week than a Tommy in a month; but you can talk more in a day than he talks in a year….”

That's all very well, but Wingate is an exception. He can't change the Government's policy, which is to accept our help against the Arabs and at the same time to prepare our Munich. And how indignant they are when the victim protests before having his throat cut. The Czechs at least have the consolation of having been sacrificed to save the peace of Europe. But we are let down without urgent need, simply because betrayal has become a conditioned reflex with this Government. The so-called Arab rebellion was a bluff, in which only about fifteen hundred hill-men participated actively. The Moslem world is split even more than the Christian; Wahhabis and Iraqis hate each other more than German and French; the desert tribes are busy with raids and blood feuds; the danger of a Moslem Holy War is about as real as the noble Sheikh of the movies. Our neighbours in the country are not even Arabs, but the descendants of Canaanites, Jebusites, Philistines, Crusaders, and Turks, with a good deal of Jewish blood. For all that they are charming people, naïve, cunning, quarrelsome, good-natured and cruel. The contradictions in their character are those of backward children: greed and generosity, cringing and pride, corruption and chivalry.

Of course they don't like us. They are slum-children in possession of a vast playground where they wallow happily in the dust. In comes another bunch of children who have nowhere to play and start cleaning up the place and building tents and lavatories with a horrible burst of efficiency. “Get
out from here,” they cry, “we don't want you.”— “But there is plenty of room,” says the clever lot, “and we've got permission to share it, and after we've improved it the place will be much nicer for you too.”— “Get out, get out,” they cry, having already pinched some of the new-comers' tools and toys; “get out, we don't want you. This is our place and we like it as it is.”

They are a relic of the middle ages. They have no conception of nationhood and no sense of discipline: they are good rioters and bad fighters, otherwise none of our isolated settlements could have survived. As a political factor they have been negligible since the days of the Kalifs, except for their nuisance value. If treated with authority, they keep quiet; if encouraged, they make an infernal nuisance of themselves. The policy of the people who run the show here is to encourage them, so as to have an excuse to get rid of us. Two years ago when things began to stink to heaven they sent out a Royal Commission to investigate matters. “If one thing stands out clear from the record of the Mandatory Administration,” says the Commission's report, “it is the leniency with which Arab political agitation, even when carried to the point of violence and murder, has been treated.” If a cautiously understated official report goes as far as this, one can imagine how far our Hendersons have gone in their game….

Oh, if at least I could hate as Simeon does! But after all I am half English myself. Spoiled and pampered by the safety of our island, uninvaded for a millennium while other countries served as battlefields, we could afford to muddle and bungle through the ages and develop the mystic belief that our bungling is some higher God-inspired wisdom. We will plunge ourselves and the rest of the world into a disaster worse than anything in history; and when we scramble out of it we will make humorous remarks about our own stupidity—blissfully unaware that, though we pay for our own mistakes, we shall never be able to pay for the horrors into which we have dragged
the others, who are dead and buried and unable to share the joke.

Tuesday

More rain and more
botz
. It is not so much the dirt and bother which depresses one, but the sheer weight on one's boots. It drags you down, depriving you of all levity, makes you weary and earthbound. Stamping through the heavy mud I almost feel myself transformed, by force of mimicry, into a clumsy, dripping, melting figure of clay.

Thursday

Two new matches. Gaby has won the competition for the Egyptian (if he was ever aware of Sarah competing). They are shamelessly happy, his eyes bulging and hers melting. At least with them the oppressed territories of the flesh have attained full sovereign rights. She calls him “Ham” which in Hebrew means “hot”, but could also signify Noah's second son from whom the Egyptians are descended, or else be understood in English as pointing to his hind parts. The other couple are Max and that very fat new girl from Rumania. Perhaps his sleeping with this gentle eiderdown will mollify his world-redeeming zeal. Both couples are going to move into the new hut which will be ready by next Shabbath; so I shall get rid of Max and have my room alone for the time being—though Ellen walks about with tight lips and hardly looks at me.

Poor Sarah is even worse off. Her chastity seems to have a corroding effect on her like a slow-acting acid. The bachelors of both sexes are a problem so far unsolved in the Communes. We have eleven of them. Those who have not become matched after a year or two become sexually allergic towards one another; the intimacy of life in the smaller Communes acts as a gradually materialising incest-barrier. As long as new grafts are still due, there is hope for them; once we have reached our full establishment there will be little hope left. Then some will resign themselves, some will break down and leave us—and
probably come back after a year or so, defeated by their loneliness in the world outside for which they have ceased to be fit.

There is also the expedient of a year's leave. It works sometimes; but it can only be granted to one or two at a time, and people are reluctant to apply for it: partly because of a feeling of obviousness and ridicule attached to such a bridal quest, and partly because it has something of the pathos of the last chance about it, and they are scared of returning alone and defeated.

Sunday

I had hoped to enjoy a peaceful Shabbath afternoon with Pepys; instead, I had a two-hours talk with Reuben, which led to momentous consequences. Subject: myself (Joseph and his Brethren, or the Individual and the Community).

It was Reuben who provoked it. He came to my room and, with signs of mild embarrassment and a semi-official air, suggested a walk. I knew at once that something was up. Before, I had not fully realised how far I had worked myself into a crisis, and even less had I known that the others had noticed it. One is always apt to forget that the Commune has most sensitive antennae; taken one by one we are perhaps not very observant, but there is a kind of collective intuition operating as in an insect state.

The rain had stopped since the early morning and though the settlement was still a muddy mess, the slopes on the side of the wadi were already drying. Reuben suggested we should walk down into the wadi and then up the hill to the west to see how our new vines were getting on. So I put Pepys on the shelf and off we went. We passed the Tower and the Children's House; as always on Shabbath the children were all in their parents' rooms and the house was empty and still. The doors were open, showing the deserted beds and cots; at the end of the passage Dina sat all by herself on a stool, pretending to read. It looked as if she wanted to prove that she was still in charge of the house and of the children who were not hers.
The white house stood still and dead in the afternoon sun, submerged in the drowsy peace of the Shabbath, and strangely oppressive. As we passed, Dina looked up with a pathetically cheerful smile; she seemed to wait for an invitation to join us. Reuben nodded to her but said nothing, so I couldn't ask her either. “Reuben is taking me for a walk,” I said to her, “and afterwards I am going to be thrown into the well.” I saw on her face that she had guessed what it was about. We walked on without speaking and Reuben's silence told me that he in turn had understood why Dina was sitting alone in the empty Children's House.

We all know too much about each other.

Sometimes the air is overcharged like certain regions of the aether where too many transmitters operate on the same wavelength.

When we had passed the fence I said: “Well, let's have it out. What is it about—Ellen, or my fascist tendencies, or my general cynicism?”

Reuben took his time, walking steadily down the slope. At last he said: “It's about your attitude to the community in general. Everybody here has his problems and tries to simplify them. With you one sometimes gets the impression that you are deliberately complicating them.”

“By what? By reading the newspapers? Or by refusing to live with a girl whom I don't love?”

Reuben paused again. “It is distasteful to me to meddle in your private affairs,” he said. “But Ellen is in rather a bad way, and if things have gone as far as to upset the inner balance of a comrade and even her capacity for work, they cease to be private and become a concern of the whole community.”

“Oh, God,” I said. “Oh, Moses our rabbi.”

Reuben kept steadily pacing down the slope. I would have hated him had I not known how much he himself hated the things he had to say.

“To cut a long story short,” I said, “you can't force me
against my will to live with Ellen. There are limits to the community's claims on its members.”

“If you were a Moslem,” said Reuben, “you would regard it as natural that the community had the right to force you to marry a girl, or be stabbed by her brother with a dagger. If you lived in a town, you would also take it for granted that sexual relations entail certain responsibilities. It is a common mistake of most people to accept the limitations imposed upon them by traditionalist societies as matters of course, but to regard any interference on the part of a socialist society as intolerable.”

“But of course,” I said. “The whole point in a socialist society is to get rid of those traditional limitations and to reduce interference to a minimum.”

“Quite,” said Reuben. “The question is how you define that minimum. I believe that mutual respect for each other's feelings should be included in the definition.”

“But what if there is incompatibility between those feelings?”

“Then there must be an adjustment imposed by Society which, to do a great right, must do a little wrong.”

“And the ‘little wrong' in my case would be an imposed union which I detest?”

“Either a stable union—or, if your detestation of it is really so strong and not simply egotism and emotional cowardice-then you should give up Ellen altogether.”

“But I need her—and she needs me. And it all went quite well for almost six months.”

“And after six months Ellen is beginning to feel the one-sidedness of your needs unsatisfactory and degrading.”

“But Reuben,” I moaned, “when will you all learn to understand that bodily relationships exist in their own right, and are neither more nor less degrading than intellectual ones? Is it degrading for my tennis partner if I don't play chess with him? To discuss politics in a frivolous small-talk manner is as obscene and shocking to me as a petting party with a half-virgin. But two people who give each other bodily satisfaction
have a clean and healthy relation, which should be sufficient in itself.”

“I don't agree with you,” Reuben said. “I don't believe that sex can be isolated from the rest. But the point is not what you or I believe, but what Ellen feels. And she feels about it so strongly”—here he was looking down at his feet— “that she wants to bring the matter up in public at the next meeting.”