Thief of Hearts (12 page)

“You remind me of my brother, Lee. He’s always putting the rest of us before himself. I didn’t understand it for a long time,” said Stu, running a hand through his hair as he came to sit next to me on the bed. The mattress dipped and my skin tingled when his arm brushed mine.

“But you do now?”

Stu stared out the window. “Yeah, I do now. It was supposed to be Lee, you know. He was supposed to be the one to go to prison. Little bastard was prepared to fall on his sword like always, take the flack for the rest of us. And you know what? In the past I would’ve let him, but something changed in me. I was sick of sitting back and letting him take one for the team. No matter what way you want to spin it, I was a coward, hiding behind my fucking little brother of all people. So I stepped up. I went behind his back and made sure it was me who got sent down instead of him. He was angry at me for a long time. In a way I think he felt powerless. I’d taken away his ability to protect us by putting myself on the chopping block.”

I stared at him, taken aback by his story. “That was a very selfless thing to do.”

He shook his head. “Nah, I was just taking what had been coming to me for a long time. Anyway, I’m out now and that’s all that matters, but my point is, you and Lee are alike. You’d rather live a life for others than for yourselves, and it’s not right. You should live your own life, Andrea. Just because someone you loved got stolen from you too soon doesn’t mean it’s over. There’s so much more out there for you.”

His voice was tender as his gaze dropped to my lips, his eyelids hooded. My lungs felt bereft of air as his meaning sank in. And I hated to admit it, but I was shocked by his sentiment. I knew Stu wasn’t stupid, but I hadn’t thought him capable of seeing so much of me either.
Just because someone you loved got stolen from you too soon doesn’t mean it’s over. There’s so much more out there for you.
He understood me on a level deeper than I ever could’ve expected and it was sobering.

“I never realised I was so transparent,” I breathed, my cheeks heating under his attention.

“You’re not. I’ve just been looking real close.”

Heat encapsulated me as Stu’s gaze darkened. My tongue dipped out to wet my lips, the action involuntary. I was staring at his collarbone, too shy to meet his eyes. “How close?” I whispered, finally glancing up at him.

All the air left me as he reached out, his big, strong hand cupping my neck. I felt like I was under water, struggling to breathe.

“This close,” he whispered, right before his mouth descended on mine.

Stu’s kiss was hot and electric. I couldn’t move, couldn’t pull away. And believe me, my brain was yelling at me to do so, but my body had other ideas. My body wanted Stu Cross to taste every inch of me until I was warm and sated.

He didn’t kiss me tenderly, instead he kissed me hard, his tongue plundering inside my mouth like a man starved of oxygen only I could provide. It was disconcerting, because although we’d just shared a pretty intense moment, I didn’t feel like it warranted such
hunger
. Then a thought hit me. Despite how he’d bragged during his first day in class, Stu hadn’t actually been with a woman since he’d gotten out of prison. He’d confessed as much the day I’d shared my lunch with him.

I was his first kiss in over two years. And God, was he kissing me.

Wow
.

His hand wrapped around my throat, the action making me shiver. His fingers felt hard and soft at the same time, giving just enough pressure to make me tingle all over, but not enough to hurt me. His lips were warm and wet, his scent incredibly masculine. When I shifted my weight, turning my body into the kiss, he groaned into my mouth and I trembled.

I’ve never been kissed like this.

Mark’s kisses had been sweet and tender, beautiful in their own right. Stu’s kisses were fierce and hungry, like he had a fire burning under his skin and only my lips could put it out.

“Open your legs,” he breathed, breaking the kiss long enough to push me onto the bed and climb between my thighs. I felt his hardness press against my inner thigh and grew instantly wet. Stu wasn’t the only one who hadn’t been intimate in a long time. In fact, I had him beat by more than two years. Perhaps that was why everything felt so much more intense than I expected. Every sweep of his tongue, every press of his fingers on my throat had me wanting to open for him, let him take whatever he wanted, however he wanted it.

It was only when I heard my parents chatting downstairs that I came back to my senses. Yes, parent chatter was the perfect bucket of ice-cold water to throw over any sexual situation. I drew away from Stu, my breaths coming hard and fast. My entire body felt warm, ready for something it had forgotten it even wanted. Stu’s eyes were still closed, and he seemed lost in me, drugged by our kiss. He pulled me back under him, his mouth finding mine again.

“Wait, wait, stop,” I gasped, my mind at war with my body yet again.

“Andrea,” he murmured. “Just let me—”

“I can’t,” I said as his mouth lowered to my jaw, planting kisses that sent a pleasurable sensation down my spine and made me moan. “My parents are downstairs. You have to stop.”

Stu groaned and let his face drop to my chest, his nose brushing the top of my breast. How I wanted to feel his mouth there, his lips, tongue . . . teeth. Honestly, where had all this desire come from? Had it been building up for years, silently wait for its time to unleash?

His eyes were still dark, still full of need and want, even as he withdrew from me, our moment of bliss cut short. I knew it was the right thing to do. Being with Stu was not only bad for my heart, it was bad for my career. I could lose my job if anybody ever found out.

“Let’s go back to yours,” he said, his voice pure gravel.

“We can’t. Alfie will be there. We live together.” I was using my cousin as an excuse, I knew that, but it was all I could think of on the spot. I needed to pull the brakes.

“Come back to mine then.”

I let out a small squeak of a laugh. “That’s an even worse idea. You said yourself your house is packed to the rafters.”

“We’ll be quiet then,” he said, running his hand along my shoulder, down my arm.

“Stu, I’m surprised my parents didn’t hear your groans just now. If you’re that loud just kissing, then I can’t imagine how you’ll be doing . . . other things.”

Now he smirked. “Oh yeah? Care to find out?”

Before I could respond my mum called up the stairs that dinner was ready. I looked to Stu as I asked quietly, “Are you staying to eat?”

His smirk widened. “Course I am.”

Wonderful.

“Okay, well, please behave yourself.”

“I always do.”

I scoffed at that, then rose from the bed and led him down to the dining room. I did my best to smooth out my top and fix my hair, but somehow I still felt dishevelled, like my parents would be able to tell what I’d done with Stu just by looking at me. I was being paranoid, of course, because neither of my parents noticed a thing.

In fact, dinner was less awkward than I anticipated. Mostly because my dad chatted away to Stu about what he planned on teaching him in the coming weeks, and I filled my mum in on how Alfie was doing. My parents cared a lot about my cousin, but given his hermit-like ways, he didn’t come to visit them very often. Or let them visit him for that matter. I knew it hurt their feelings, but I always tried to reassure them that it wasn’t anything personal.

Alfie simply didn’t maintain contact with many people, and a lot of the time it was because he was so wrapped up in his art. Also, we weren’t actually blood relatives, since Alfie’s mum was adopted into my mum’s family after my grandparents discovered they couldn’t conceive any more children. This was why my aunt was so different. She’d spent her early childhood in foster care and it made her very ambitious. Determined never to be poor again, she’d married Alfie’s dad, who came from wealthy stock. She didn’t foresee how he’d get caught in a fraud scandal, resulting in him losing all his money.

“Let’s go back to yours,” Stu whispered over my shoulder as we left my parents’ house and made our way to our respective vehicles. My thoughts of my cousin’s family were cut short when his body pressed into mine from behind.

“I told you, Alfie will be there,” I replied.

“I’m sure he won’t mind. Actually, I’ve been hoping to try again with him. We didn’t get off to the best start.”

“Don’t be offended. He’s like that with everyone except for Jamie and me. My cousin is one of the hardest people to get to know.”

“Well, I’d still like to try,” said Stu, and there was a determined note in voice that made me curious.

“Why?”

He lifted a shoulder. “He seems interesting.”

“He is interesting, but I’m not sure you two would get along. You’re very different kinds of people.”

Stu’s lips drew into a tight line and he seemed annoyed with what I’d said. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means exactly what I said. You and Alfie are polar opposites, plus, he’s incredibly paranoid. He doesn’t let new people in very often, and if I brought you to the flat he’d get freaked.”

“So what do you do when you want to bring a man home? Sneak him inside while your cousin is asleep, then ship him out before he wakes up in the morning?”

“No,” I answered before thinking it through. “I don’t bring men home.”

Stu came around to face me, his expression disbelieving. “Never?”

“Never,” I said, feeling a blush creep in. A moment of quiet ensued.

“So . . . eh, when’s the last time you—?”

“Oh my God, I’m not discussing this with you. I’m getting into my car now, okay? I’ll see you in class in the morning.” I felt self-conscious. He knew how long it had been since Mark’s passing. Would he laugh at my celibacy or be understanding about it?

“Come on, Andrea. Don’t just run off when things get personal. I’m trying to get to know you.”

When I reached my car I opened the door, threw my bag into the passenger seat, then turned back to Stu. “That’s just the thing, you shouldn’t be trying to get to know me at all.”

I slid into the car before he could respond, closing the door and slotting my key in the ignition. I was on edge as I pulled away from my parents’ house. In my driver’s side mirror, I saw Stu standing on the street, his frustration evident in the way he clenched his fists.

I’d let things go way too far tonight and it wasn’t his fault. Even though he was older, he was still my student. I was in a position of power over him and it was wrong to let him kiss me. I should’ve stopped him, should never had let things progress that far. But I’d been incapable of resisting. His touched had stoked a fire in me that had lain dormant for years, and it felt almost freeing to let it out, like I’d been waiting all this time for the right person to bring it out of me. Was Stu that person?

No, he couldn’t be.

My hand started to tremble as my attention fell to my ring finger, where my wedding band sat, like always. My shirt sleeve was rolled up, revealing the end of the tattoo I got a year after Mark passed away. I felt like I needed to commemorate him in some way, so on the inside of my left forearm I had a small M shaped into a heart surrounded by pretty flowers. I’d caught Stu staring at it once or twice, but he never asked me about it. Perhaps he knew it was too personal.

Even distracted by the tattoo I couldn’t get his kiss out of my head and I felt awful, because even though he was gone, I felt like I’d betrayed the man I’d loved since I was seventeen years old. And that was the most disconcerting part of all.

***

A fresh batch of overdue bills arrived the following morning. I shoved them into my bag on my way out the door, too afraid to leave them in the flat in case Alfie found them. My cousin was blissfully unaware of how bad things had become and I planned to keep it that way.

When I arrived at college, I immediately spotted Stu’s car a few spaces away from where I parked. The fact that he was here made me nervous. We’d both acted completely inappropriately last night, and I was scared of him telling someone. My stomach tensed at the very idea.

As I approached the entrance, I saw him leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette. Our eyes locked and we both moved at the same time, reaching for the door handle. Our bodies collided, knocking my handbag off my shoulder and sending my bills spilling out onto the ground.

Crap.

It was just my luck that the most visible one had a big red OVERDUE stamped on the envelope. Stu bent over to help me pick them up, and I knew he could see it. A deep sense of shame washed over me. It was ridiculous, because it wasn’t like paying for your deceased husband’s medical bills was anything to be ashamed about, but I felt it all the same.

“Here,” said Stu, handing me the letters. I shoved them back into my bag, glad when he didn’t comment on them.

“Thanks.”

Hurriedly, I made my way inside, feeling uncomfortable. All that morning, I felt jittery. Was he staring at me because of the kiss or the bills? I kept dropping things and making mistakes all the way through until lunch. When the bell finally rang, I felt like I needed some air and decided to take a little walk around the grounds.

About fifteen minutes later I returned to the classroom and found Stu waiting for me. No other students were around and I hovered in the doorway, wary of his presence.

“Do you need something?” I asked.

Stu’s gaze was intense. His hazel eyes first traced over my face then wandered down my body. My outfit was plain and conservative, but the way he looked at me made me feel naked. Like he could see everything, visualise it in his head even though he’d never actually seen it.

My throat went dry.

“I want to talk to you, Andrea. Come in and shut the door,” he said, his voice commanding. It was like we’d switched roles and all of a sudden he was the one in charge. On instinct I did as he requested, closing the door and stepping inside the room. I took a seat at one of the desks and waited for him to speak. When he didn’t say anything for a long moment, I grew even more antsy.

“For crying out loud, just spit it out,” I blurted, unable to take any more silence.

“You need to introduce me to your cousin,” Stu answered. “Properly this time.”

I furrowed my brow, not understanding. This was the last thing I expected him to say. If I was being honest, I thought he was about to proposition me, especially after the way his eyes raked my body.

“Alfie? Why?”

“I’ll explain everything once you introduce us, but it has to be today. I’ve been stalling and now I’m running out of time.”

I frowned at him. “Stu, what the hell are you talking about? What do you mean, ‘running out of time’?”

“Once you introduce me to Alfie I’ll tell you everything. I promise.”

The forcefulness in his voice got my back up. Standing, I placed my hands on my hips and levelled him with a hard stare. “I’m not introducing you, so you can leave now. You’re not permitted to be in this room during your lunch hour.”

“Andrea, don’t be difficult, please. I’m just trying to protect my family.” His tone was softer now, cajoling.

“Stu, I’m won’t be able to understand anything you’re saying until you explain yourself fully. So either tell me what’s going on or get out. I don’t have time for games.”

“Fucking hell,” he swore, pacing now as he raked both hands through his hair. I watched him, deeply concerned by how odd he was acting. Was this what Karla had meant about unpredictable behaviour? Gone was the flirt. Here was the serious ex-con brother-in-law she’d been worried about. I remembered I still had her phone number, but wasn’t sure whether or not I should use it.