They Tell Me of a Home: A Novel (21 page)
Read They Tell Me of a Home: A Novel Online
Authors: Daniel Black
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Contemporary, #Literary, #United States, #Women's Fiction, #Domestic Life, #Contemporary Fiction, #American, #Literary Fiction, #African American, #Mystery; Thriller & Suspense, #Psychological
I resumed my seat on the ground next to Willie James, shaking my head in dismay. “Man, we have to do something! We have to! We can’t know about this and go on like we don’t!”
“Yes, we can, and dat’s exactly what we gon’ do.’Cause, like I said, we don’t really know nothin’. I mean, I know what I saw and all, but I can’t prove it to nobody.”
“Oh, Willie James, please! You know Momma did somethin’ to dat baby!” I yelped, sitting only inches away from him.
“Maybe she did!” he hollered back. “But can’t neither one o’ us prove it. Dat’s why we gon’ let it be. Now I feel bad about it jes’ like you. Believe me I do. But I done thought ‘bout dis fu’ years now and I ain’t come up wit’ no way to tell nobody nothin’ and make’em believe me. We gon’ keep dis li’l secret between us and dat gon’ be dat.”
“How can you do that, Willie James?” I gazed at my brother ruefully.
“Do what?”
“Know this information and never say anything about it.”
“It ain’t hard. You jes’ learn to keep yo’ mouth shut. Everythang ain’t s’pose’ to be told noway.”
“Some things are supposed to be known!”
“Depends on what it is. A man got to decide what he gon’ tell and what he gon’ keep. Dis somethin’ we both gon’ keep.”
Willie James stared deep into my eyes to ratify our unspoken agreement.
“OK, OK. I won’t say anything. It’s not right, though, Willie James. It doesn’t make sense not to tell the authorities.”
“And who the authorities round here? You know de police in town
don’t care nothin’’bout no dead nigga baby!” He swung his arm at an invisible foe. “Ain’t no need in even wastin’ yo’ time wit’ dem. I thought about tellin’ Daddy’bout de baby, but you know he know. He know everythang round here. I jes decided to keep it to myself like you gon’ do.”
don’t care nothin’’bout no dead nigga baby!” He swung his arm at an invisible foe. “Ain’t no need in even wastin’ yo’ time wit’ dem. I thought about tellin’ Daddy’bout de baby, but you know he know. He know everythang round here. I jes decided to keep it to myself like you gon’ do.”
Anger, disbelief, and rage battled to control my heart and mind, and none of them would relent.
“Really?”
“It’s de first thing I noticed when I turned him over. The mole jumped out at me like de monsters in dem scary movies.”
“Willie James, come on now! Are you sure you weren’t imagining things?”
“Oh, I’m nutty now? I’m tellin’ you! He had a mole right on the left side o’ his nose. It reminded me of you.”
“Momma wins again,” I mumbled despondently.
“What’s dat suppose to mean?”
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it. My own issues, I suppose.”
“Maybe I shouldn’ta told you,” Willie James suggested sadly.
“Oh no! I wanted to know. You know that. Anything about Sister, please tell me. Don’t hesitate.”
“Well, dat’s’bout all I know.” He folded his lips conclusively. “Except one thing.”
“What?”
“T.L., you might be better off not knowin’.”
“Man, tell me. Can’t nothin’ shock me at this point.”
“OK, but remember our promise. You can’t say nothin’ to nobody.”
“All right, all right. Tell me!”
Willie James bit his bottom lip, weighing the extent to which he could trust me. “After de day I saw de baby in de woods”—his mouth trembled as he circumvented his better judgment—“I was burning de
trash and started smellin’ somethin’ really foul. I didn’t pay much attention to it at first, but then it started smellin’ like …”
trash and started smellin’ somethin’ really foul. I didn’t pay much attention to it at first, but then it started smellin’ like …”
“Like what?”
“Like flesh cookin’. Or somethin’. I took a stick and started fumblin’ through de burnin’ trash, tryin’ to find out what was smellin’ like dat. All of a sudden, Momma said, ‘What chu lookin’ fu’?’ I coulda shitted in my pants ‘cause I didn’t see her walk up on me. She was lookin’ a little funny, like she thought I knowed something. I said, ‘Nothin’. I was stirrin’ up de fire, makin’ sure everythang burn good. Dat’s all.’ he said, ‘Well, you go’head and feed de cows and I’ll finish stirrin’ de fire.’ I didn’t want to do dat ‘cause then I wouldn’t be able to find out what was smellin’. I told Momma I could do both, but she insisted I go feed de cows. I walked away real suspicious, but I acted like everything was normal. I kept lookin’ back over my shoulder and she was lookin’ at me specially hard, like I better not come back over there. I went on into de barn and fed de cows like I usually do.”
“Did you check the trash barrel later?” I queried excitedly.
“Yeah, I did, de next day. But it was squeaky clean.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, it was clean as a baby’s bottom. Momma or somebody had emptied the ashes and washed the barrel out with soap and water.”
“Get outta here!”
“No lie. Dat old metal trash barrel was clean enough to eat off of. I gave up after dat. I knowed Momma was hidin’ somethin’, but she didn’t leave no clues behind. I jes’ left it alone after that.”
“Is she deranged, Willie James? Come on! What’s wrong with that woman?”
“I wish I knew, but I don’t.”
Willie James rubbed his hands together and glanced up at the sun. “I’d betta git dis tractor back home ‘fo’ Daddy be lookin’fu’ me. He know I should be finished by now. He ain’t neva been slow.” Willie James stood up, brushed off the bottom of his pants, and put his old straw hat back on.
“You wanna ride?” he asked nonchalantly.
“Sure,” I said and stood. “But let me ask you one more question, if you don’t mind.”
Willie James sighed but said, “Help yo’self.”
“Do you think Momma came back and got the baby?”
He twisted his mouth and scratched his forehead. “I don’t know,” he said cautiously.
“I know you don’t know, Willie James. I asked you if you
thought
she came back and got the baby.”
thought
she came back and got the baby.”
“If I say yes, dat mean she put de baby dere in de first place. She couldn’t come back and git it if she didn’t put it dere.”
“True,” I affirmed.
“I hope you don’t git us in no trouble, T.L. I done said a whole lot more than I shoulda said. I thought you should know’ause you and Sista was close.”
“Answer my question, Willie James.”
“OK,” he stalled, and then said very ardently, “yes. Yes. I think Momma came back and got it’cause I think she put it dere in de first place. Who else coulda done it? Huh? Who else?”
“You know I don’t know.”
“It was her. It had to be. But ain’t nothin’ we can do’bout it’cause we ain’t got no proof. I didn’t see Momma do nothin’’cept walk out o’ de woods. She could say she was doin’ anything back in dem woods and I couldn’t’spewt her word.”
“Will you take me back there?”
“Back where?” Willie James asked disquietedly.
“Where you saw de baby.”
“You don’t need me to go back dere. Jes’ walk back to de far left corner o’ de woods. You been dere befo’ without me.”
Willie James had no intention of going back there again. He clearly had come to terms with the dreadful experience, at least enough to live from day to day. But I needed him.
“I know, Willie James, but I need to know the exact spot, and you alone can show it to me. Please. This is important.”
“It’s always ‘bout what you need, ain’t it? I done told you way mo’ than I shoulda told you and still you ain’t satisfied. You always was selfish.”
“I’m not trying to be selfish, Willie James. I need you to help me out. I don’t have anybody else.”
“What if Momma or Daddy see us goin’ back in de woods together, huh? You think dey ain’t gon’ know somethin’s up?”
“They don’t have to know. We can go when they ain’t around or when they ain’t lookin’.”
“And when is that?” Willie James scowled.
“I don’t know. We can figure that out. There’s got to be some kinda way to get back there without them knowing.”
“I’ll tell you what, you figure dat out and maybe, jes’ maybe, I’ll show you where I saw de baby. I ain’t makin’ no promises, though.”
“Fine. I’ll think of something. Bet on that.”
We climbed onto the tractor and headed home. It had been years since I rode it as a passenger, and it jerked my ass back and forth like an old washing machine spin cycle. Willie James laughed as I held on for dear life. Daddy had bought the tractor used when I was a boy, so it had to be damn near forty years old. “Shit!” I shouted after Willie James hit a large rut in the road. “You tryin’ to kill me, man!”
He laughed louder and shook his head, reminiscent of bygone days. “You done fugot how ta ride a tractor, boy?” he mocked. I didn’t entertain his words. Instead, I prayed we would hurry and make it home because I awaited the comfort of solid ground.
“Remember dat time I drove dis ole thang to Lucretia Clemmons’s party?” Willie James hollered, smiling. The engine coughed loudly, making hearing practically impossible.
“Oh my God! I had forgotten about that! Can you believe you were fool enough to drive a tractor to a party? But you had to go. Nothing was going to keep you from it!”
“Yeah, Lucretia was my girl! She had an ass on her make any man
stand up and do right! I was tryin’ to court her, but she was actin’ stuck-up.”
stand up and do right! I was tryin’ to court her, but she was actin’ stuck-up.”
“No, she wasn’t! You were too scared to ask her out! You wouldn’t even speak to her. She would give you the eye all the time and you went on like you didn’t even see her!”
“What? Man, you lost yo’ mind! I tried to speak to dat girl, but she acted shy or some shit, so I stopped tryin’ to fuck wit’ her. Hell, I ain’t gon’ chase no bitch nowhere!”
“You were definitely chasing her the night of her party!” I was laughing violently and my shoulders were jerking vertically.
“I ain’t gon’ lie!” Willie James bellowed, turning the big tractor steering wheel toward the left at the fork in the road. “I was tryin’ to git me some pussy dat night. Shit! I knew I was gon’ git me some.”
“Folks said you were clean. That is, until they turned on the lights!” We both laughed uninhibitedly. “What possessed you to take Daddy’s advice and drive a tractor to a party?” My voice displayed my bewilderment.
“I don’t know, but I ain’t neva done it no mo’. I learned my lesson. After I kicked dat nigga’s ass fu’ callin’ me a dust ball, I said fuck it. Ain’t no bitch worth all dis energy.”
It was time for instigation. “Now what exactly happened, Willie James? I done forgot,” I giggled, hoping to incite but not patronize.
“You ain’t fugot nothin’, nigga! You know exactly what happened!”
“No, I don’t!” I roared. “All I remember is what other folks said.”
Willie James gaped at me, unsure of whether my question was genuine or I was caricaturing him.
“OK. Here’s what happened. I walked into de party and everybody started tellin’ Lucretia dat her boyfriend was here. I started feelin’ good and gettin’ cocky. What I didn’t realize is dat ridin’ on dis damn tractor at night, I was covered wit’ thick, red dust from head to toe.”
My laughter caused me to lose my balance, and I almost fell off the tractor. Imagining Willie James grinning while his whole body was red with dust was about to kill me.
“Nigga, you tryin’ to make a joke outta somebody!” he alleged cordially.
“No, I’m not. Go ahead.” I tried unsuccessfully to hold my laughter.
“I started slow dancin’ wit’ Lucretia”—Willie James’s head rocked from side to side—“and she started sneezin’ real bad. She frowned at me and I looked back at her’cause we couldn’t figure out why she was sneezin’ all of a sudden. Then, somebody turned on de lights and dat’s when Billy Ray Jackson said, ‘Oh my God! Look at dat nigga! He look like a black-ass dust ball!’ I didn’t know what he was talkin’bout at first, but then everybody started starin’ at me, and when I looked at myself I saw dat I was covered in thick dust all over.”
“No!” I kept screaming, trying desperately to regain my composure.
“Yeah, it’s funny now, but it wasn’t funny how I kicked Billy Ray’s ass!” Willie James volunteered confidently.
“You didn’t kick his ass, Willie James!” I instigated further. “He was three times your size!”
“Dat don’t mean nothin’! I jumped ova on dat nigga and started beatin’ his ass like he had done stole somethin’! We was rollin’ on de floor right in Lucretia’s momma’s livin’ room. She was holl’in’ and screamin’ fu’ us to stop, but I wasn’t’bout to git punked in front o’ all those people. I throwed him against de wall—”
“Willie James!” I shrieked in disbelief.
“I did! Then I throwed him on de floor and jumped on him and started beatin’ his chest like Grandma used to grind corn! Dat nigga wasn’t gon’ git ‘way wit’ callin’ me no fuckin’ dust ball in front o’ Lucretia and I not do nothin’’bout it.”
“But, Willie James, other people said Billy Ray was on top o’ you, smackin’ yo’ ass like you was his bitch!”
“Oh, fuck you, nigga! You know dat ain’t true! I wish dat nigga woulda tried to smack me!”
Tears rolled down my face like bowling balls, merging with the sweat caused by the beaming sun.
“Willie James, I laughed for at least two weeks!”
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