They Say Love Is Blind (26 page)

No.

Tory choked back her tears and hurried to the car. She was just starting it when she heard someone call her name. She looked up sharply. Raphael was hurrying towards her.

“Tory!”

Reluctantly she rolled down the window and wiped her eyes. She just wanted to get out of here. She just wanted to go home
and forget that she had just been
disused
by Lee in front of his family
.

Raphael
leaned down and gave her a concerned look
. “Honey, what’s wrong?
I’ve never seen you two like this.
”

“We had a fight.” She wiped
her eyes and swallowed back a sob
. Then she had a coughing fit and had to spit into a tissue.

He gave her a concerned frown. “Are you okay?” When she nodded
he offered her a wry grin
.“Everyone does, you know. You’d be abnormal if you didn’t.”She met his eyes. He was almost as handsome as his younger brother-darker, though, with glossy black hair, but the same facial features.

She looked down and then shook her head. “There’s just…so much going on right now. I don’t know, maybe he’s getting tired of me.”

Raphael chuckled. “No. That is not ever going to happen. My brother’s life seems to revolve around your happiness.” He gave Tory a sincere look. “He’s angry about so
mething but he will get over it
Tory, okay?”

She chewed on her lower lip but then nodded her head. “Okay.”

He stood back giving her space to drive away. “You drive safe. Go home and get some rest.”

She managed a slight smile and then she pulled off and drove back to her home.

~***~

The most difficult thing about being in love with a blind man is remembering that his being blind is the least of it all. Being in love with a person with their own individual thoughts, feelings and r
eactions was
just as important of a consideration
.

Tory roll
ed onto her side in her lonely
bed and tried to sleep. She tossed and turned before falling into a restless sleep well after midnight.

The ringing of the telephone woke her up and she checked the time, 9 am. She reached for her cell phone and saw that it was Lee. Her heart
beat
spiked but
right before she was going to answer she put the phone back onto her bedside table.
Yeah, I’m chickening out
.
But it was more than that, she was actually a little angry.
His rejection last night had been devastating. She wasn’t ready for an angry confrontation—not until she at least had gone to the bathroom.

She used the bathroom, brushed her teeth and then lifted up her night shirt and stared at her stomach. Today she would make an appointment for a prenatal doctor. She had to be healthy because her life was no longer just her own. Too many people depended on her
, including the man that she was currently pissed at
.

With a sigh she returned to the bedroom and picked up the phone.
It blinked that there was o
ne message
waiting. She accessed the voicemail and listened with her heart pounding in her chest.

“Tory…I’m sorry. I should never have yelled at you. You’re sick and I’m acting like…I’m happy that my brother Ralph went after you
but
I’m sorry that it wasn’t me. I
want to
come over. You need me to take care of you and I need to be with. I’m on my way.”

She jumped up and looked around quickly.
Shit!
She needed to pick up around the room and
to
take a quick shower. She hurried around the room picking up clothes and shoes and tossing them into her closet. She thought about how Rosalind had called her house dirty
--
and it wasn’t but it was untidy. She did a quick walk through of the small apartment, making sure that her parents hadn’t moved anything. She made a few adjustments and then hurried to the shower. She was just finishing up when she heard Lee call her name.

“I’ll be right out!” Tory grabbed her robe and quickly hurried into the living room where Lee was standing anxiously holding a paper sack.

“Uh…hi.” She said.

“Hi.
” He held up the sack.
“
I brought donuts.”

She took them from him and carried them to the kitchen. He followed. “How are you?”

“Uh..fine.”

“Did you get my message?
”

“Yeah.
” She placed the donuts on the kitchen counter and opened the refrigerator for the coffee.
“
Do you want coffee?”

“Why don’t you get back into bed and I’ll make the coffee. That’s what I’m here for.” She was prepared to object but decided not to. Walking past him to go back to the bedroom
she noticed that he was carrying a pack. Was he moving in? He took it off and
placed it in the corner
and busied himself with the coffee preparation
.

She climbed into bed and picked up the incentive spirometer and sucked on the mouth piece watching the little
ball move upward. She suddenly had a fit of coughing and spit into a tissue. Ugh.

“Are you okay?” Lee called from the next room.

“Yeah. Just
doing
this lung exercise.”

“Good. I’ll be
there
in a minute.” She rolled her eyes and then resumed her exercise. By the time he appeared carrying a tray with coffee and donuts she was finished and tired and a bit nauseous. She didn’t really want the coffee or donuts. He carefully placed the tray on the bed and she picked it up and put it on her lap while he sat down on the bed facing her. She handed him his coffee and he thanked her and took a sip.

She politely handed him a donut which he munched. And as she watched him she knew that it would be a lie to pretend that she wanted the coffee or donut.

“I’m not hungry.”

He tilted his head. “
Are you sure? You can have it later if you like.”

“Okay.”

He took the tray and carefully returned it to the kitchen. When he returned he just stood in the doorway quietly. “I am sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She sighed.

“But I can’t lie. I’m still angry.”

She watched him. “Okay. I guess…maybe I am too.”

Lee took a moment and then nodded. “I told you why I’m angry. I don’t know what I’ve done to make you angry.”

His calm voice was maddening.

“I’m not sure why I’m mad.” She spoke in an equally calm voice.

He moved to the bed and sat down. “Tory
, I need to know something and I need to know it right now.”

She blew out a loud breath. “What?”

“Are you going to keep secrets from me?”

She shook her head. “Secrets?”

“Yes. If you’re my extra set of eyes then I need to see what is real, not what you want me to see.”

“God, I get that Lee. I’m sorry, okay! I didn’t tell you about this stupid spirometer and it wasn’t because I was trying to…conceal something from you. I just thought it was a stupid device that I didn’t like using. God it wasn’t a fucking conspiracy!” She climbed out of bed and slammed the covers down. She faced him again. “Look, I’m sorry. If you’re asking me if I’ll candy coat the bad shit then…no. I won’t. But…did you have to call me a liar?”

He sighed. “I’m sorry. Yeah, you’re right. It doesn’t make you a liar. We just have to…understand each other.”

“Well…you didn’t have to just dismiss me in front of your family. That embarrassed me and I have to face them knowing that they saw me get ‘put in my place’.” She snapped. “Don’t ever do that again, do you hear me? Don’t ever talk to me li
ke that in front of your family!
”

He nodded and
stood. “I’m so sorry. I was being childish and lashing out because…” he ran his hand through his hair in distress.

“Because you can’t control the world? Earth to Lee; Even us sighted people can’t.” After a few moments he reached out and she gave him her hand. He pulled her towards him and hugged her.

“Tory…you deserve so much more than this. You should have someone who can-”

“Take care of me?”

He nodded.

She swallowed. “Would you rather…” She stepped out of his arms. “Would you rather be with someone like Rosalind?”

“Tory!”

“Someone who can anticipate your every need and who doesn’t need to be taught how to care for you? Someone who would leave her husband so that she can be with you in the
right
way?”

“For the last time, I don’t want Rosalind!”

“Good. For the last time, I don’t want anyone but you. Got it?!
I don’t want a guy just because he can see! I don’t want to be in love with anyone but you!
”

He looked towards her quietly. His posture relaxed
and then he
shook his head and chuckled. “I’m nothing if I’m not tenacious in my insecurity.”

She stepped back into his arms. “You have no reason to be insecure when it comes to me.
I am completely and totally in love with you—even when I’m pissed off.”

He nuzzled her temple. “So…
I guess
we can survive arguments
.
”

“Yes, thankfully.” She cleared her throat. “The question is, can we survive complete honesty?”

He stroked her hair. “It’s what I need. I need to feel like you respect me enough to
allow me to
make my own decisions and I need to know that you won’t control me with the information you give me. Tory I need to trust you completely, do you understand that?”

She nodded and squeezed her eyes closed. “Lee…”

“What, honey?”

“
I didn’t tell you everything about my rape.” His hand paused in mid-stroke before resuming.

“Okay.”

“I…I
didn’t go to the doctor or to the police immediately. I was so scared that I just went back to my dorm and huddled in my bed.
As
the months went
on I began getting sick; back pain, nausea until finally…it got so bad that I went to emergency. There I was diagnosed with Chlamydia.”

She felt him pause before he resumed stroking her hair.

“It had progressed so far that it caused
PID,
which is pelvic inflammatory disease.” Lee stopped moving and tensed. “I…I lost one of my fallopian tubes to the disease. I had to call my parents and that is the only reason that they knew about the rape.”

She heard him sigh and then he hugged her. “Did you think that I wouldn’t love you anymore or that I would think less of you,
querida
?”

She shook her head. “I
just know that this was something that I never
wanted to
share
with anyone
. And that has nothing to do wi
th
whether or not you can see
.
” She looked at him. “It was a…horrible part of my past and it wasn’t something I wanted to relive.” She felt tears in her eyes. “It doesn’t make me feel…better for telling you
that I contracted an STD.
It makes me feel dirty and the fact that I lost an organ due to it make
s me feel stupid on top of that.
”
Angry frustrated tears streamed from her eyes and
before she gave in fully to her tears, she tried
t
o turn away
. Only
Lee’s arms held her in place
.